The party was great. Better than I expected. Well, I wasn't really expecting much since I'd never been really enthusiastic about that kind of stuff.
I'd never felt so free of worries and like I just wanted to have fun before, but it felt quite amazing. I knew it was because by the time an hour had passed I'd already had three drinks, also something I'd never done before.
But everyone there, Mei included, seemed to be drinking. I suspected most people were actually over 21. I just wanted to fit in and also feel as great as they appeared to be feeling.
Everything started to get blurry at one point, I could only hear the loud beat of the music that was playing and my body suddenly started swaying to it by itself, as if I wasn't in control of it for a while. In a good way.
I stuck with Mei for most of the time, met some of her friends, we played games like beer-pong and spin the bottle, and danced.
No matter how foggy everything felt, each time I danced or came into close contact with someone my brain never stopped reminding me how much I wished it was Sam who was there. I couldn't shake the thought of her from my head, and even if I was in a room full of people, after a while my mind seemed to be concentrated on her and her only.
After my fourth drink I felt almost completely unable to control the trajectory of any part of my body, everything in the room looked as if it was somehow spinning. But it felt good. I felt light and careless. I'm pretty sure I kept laughing without an apparent reason the whole evening.
"You seem to be having fun" I recognized Mei's voice from behind me, when her hands grasped my hips. We were in a huge crowd of people but I somehow recognized it wasn't a stranger's hands that were touching my bare skin. Luckily.
"Yeah, I am!" I shouted, making sure my voice was louder than the music, my body slightly tensing up at the feeling of her hands' placement.
"Are you drunk? I can smell alcohol from here" she said, lowering her head and moving it closer to my neck.
"I- uh- I might be. Yeah, I think so" I laughed as I realized I could barely speak properly. "I've never drunk so much in one night. What are you turning me into?" I joked.
"Huh? I didn't tell you to do anything" she giggled. "But as I said, you seem to be having fun, so no complaints" she added, moving from behind me to in front of me, keeping her hands on my hips.
As a less upbeat song came on we started to dance, our bodies getting closer to each other. My hips swayed as I followed Mei's flow, placing my arms on her shoulders.
I was close enough to be able to smell the sweet and minty perfume I'd smelt when she hugged me a few days before.
"I love your perfume!" I blubbered.
"Huh?"
"I said I love your perfume!" I shouted.
"Oh! Oh, thanks!" she smiled, pressing her body onto mine.
It was at that moment that I suddenly realized what was going on. Something clicked in me, I don't know what.
But although I was aware of the situation I couldn't seem to react. I felt good. The music so loud I couldn't hear my own thoughts, Mei's body so close to mine that I could feel her breath on my neck, my mind free of any worries.
"Is this okay?" she asked, pressing her hands on my hips more firmly and slightly lowering her head, so that our faces were aligned with each other.
"Y-yeah..." I mumbled, not fully comprehending what was going on if not that I felt really good and that Mei was looking hotter than she'd ever looked.
Before I could think of anything else I felt Mei's lips pressing on mine. I breathed heavily as I pressed my lips on hers too. I could taste both our breaths, not sure where the alcoholic taste came from. Probably from both of us.
I parted my lips as I felt her tongue skimming on them, allowing it to slip inside. One of her hands cupped my cheek and the other one remained on my hip.
Everything felt great. Until I suddenly began to be aware of the situation.
It was as if I'd suddenly completely sobered up. Everything felt less blurry and painfully real. A cold sweat broke on my forehead as I jolted my whole body away from Mei's.
"I'm so sorry Mei, I just can't...I-" I tried to blubber.
"Uhm, did I- did I do something wrong?" she asked, looking extremely confused.
"No...no you didn't. I just- nevermind. I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong."
"So why-"
"I think I need some fresh air" I said, as my voice got shaky. "I'll go outside for a bit" I added, making my way through the crowd of people in the same room as us.
"Uhm, just text me if you need anything I guess" I heard Mei's voice from a distance.
The single moment of clear-headedness had already ended, everything was spinning and by the time I got out of the house I was gasping for air.
There were a few groups of people in the front garden but the only things I could hear were my heartbeat and the ringing in my ears. The only thing I could think of was Sam. The thought of her kept repeating itself in my head, no matter how hard I tried to think of something else.
Everything that happened after that was a complete blur. I know I somehow managed to call a cab, which cost me way more than I could afford. But I also couldn't really get on the subway in those conditions.
I had no idea of where the shirt I'd worn on the way to the party was, so I was basically half naked. And I really had no clue where I was. I felt dizzy and a bit nauseous.
Once I paid the driver and got off in front of my building I had the urge to see the person I couldn't stop thinking about. I wasn't thinking lucidly, I just knew I needed to see her. No matter what.
My body seemed to have walked up to her front door without me even being able to control it. I instinctively knocked on it, soon after finding myself face to face with Sam.
She was wearing a white t-shirt and black sweatpants, one of her hands was holding a half full glass of wine.
Her usually impassive, stone cold expression had turned into an extremely surprised, or better confused, expression.
I only then remembered what I was wearing. Or what I wasn't.
"What the hell, Ellie?" she questioned me, eyeing my figure from head to toe.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you" I said, throwing my arms around her neck and going in for a kiss. My lips pressed on hers for probably less than a second, as she immediately backed off.
"What the fuck? Are you drunk?"
"What? No, absolutely not" I said, trying to balance my weight by leaning on the wall next to the doorframe.
"You most definitely are" she scoffed, almost dragging me in her flat by my arm.
"Ooh, straight to the point. I like it" I laughed, placing my hands on her waist before a dizzy spell caused me to fall on the couch beneath us. "Oops" I kept laughing.
"For fuck's sake..." she mumbled.
"What's wrong?" I pouted.
"Ok, so" she said as she sat next to me, ignoring my question. "You can stay here 'till you feel better. Or more sober anyway. There's no way I'm gonna let you climb all of those stairs in these conditions"
"Good, 'cause I wanna stay here with you anyway" I leaned against her shoulder.
"I'm gonna get you something to cover up and some water. You need it." she got up, forcing me to lean on the back of the sofa.
"Why do you keep backing off from me? I thought you told me you like me"
"You know I do- There's no point in telling you now, anyway. You're completely wasted" she said as she filled a glass with water.
"I'm not"
"Yes you are. I don't even want to know how much you've been drinking" she continued, placing the glass in my hand and making sure I was solidly holding it.
I suddenly felt too exhausted to even be able to talk anymore. The dizziness faded with every sip of water I drank, but I still felt positively light and free of any worry.
"Here you are" Sam added, throwing a grey oversized t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts on the couch, right next to me. "I guess you know where the bathroom is if you need to-"
Before she could end her sentence I put the shirt on, over my top, and pulled my shorts off to wear the more comfortable ones that she'd given me. I obviously wasn't in the right mental state to realize what I was doing and how not really appropriate it was.
"Oh, okay then" she passive-aggressively said, heading towards another room.
"Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you help me take this stupid bra thing off? I feel like it's squeezing me to death" I mumbled. I was lying on the couch on my side by then.
"Oh, uhm, yeah, sure..." Sam said.
Just a few seconds later I felt my shirt being lifted by a pair of weirdly cold but soft hands. Sam unclasped my top and gently pushed towards where I could reach it. At least I was wearing a shirt to cover my front. It could have been worse.
Or better. Really depends on the perspective.
"There you are" she said, getting up from the position she was in.
The last thing I remembered from that evening was Sam placing a blanket on my body with a genuinely caring look on her face.
Next thing I knew was me waking up a few hours later. I found Sam peacefully sleeping on the other end of the couch, looking as good as she always did even if she was in her pajamas and with no makeup on.
Before I could wonder why she was there and think about everything that happened the previous evening a wave of nausea overtook my stomach. I was lucky enough to manage to rush to the bathroom and do my business.
I rinsed my mouth and face with cold water, feeling incredibly embarrassed and regretting every single action that led me to that situation.
Once I got to the living room I once again sat on the couch, I felt as if I'd gotten run over by a truck.
"You alright?" Sam suddenly asked, with a slight rasp in her voice. "I heard you get up and...you know"
"Yeah, I'm fine" I lied, not wanting to disturb her. "Look, I'm sorry about-" I started to say after a pause of silence.
"We can talk about it in the morning. You need rest now" she said, getting up and heading towards the kitchen.
"Oh. Yeah, I guess so" I probably wasn't lucid enough to have a proper conversation anyway.
"Try to sleep another bit" she added, placing a full glass of water on the floor next to me.
She once again put the blanket on my body, making sure there weren't any parts of it that weren't covered. Right before lying in the same position she was in before she woke up, she gently pressed her lips on the top of my head.
I eventually fell asleep again, waking up another few hours later, a strong smell of coffee invading the room. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Sam in the kitchen, pouring some in a mug.
I sat up, trying to adjust my eyes to the bright light that came through the open curtains.
"Good morning, you" she said as soon as she noticed I wasn't asleep anymore. "Want some coffee?"
"Uh, yeah, sure" I replied. I had a terrible, pounding headache.
"Two sugars, no milk. Right?"
"Yeah..."
As she grabbed her mug and the one she'd just filled, she headed towards the living room, sitting next to me.
"Here you go" she said as she passed the second mug to me.
"Thanks" I said, taking a sip of coffee from it.
A long pause of silence followed. Both of us were probably thinking who should talk first and what to say.
"Uhm, I'm sorry about yesterday. I have a really vague memory of everything, but I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"
"Got drunk, knocked on my door, kissed me and asked me to help you undress, just to spend the night on my couch?"
"I guess so" was the only thing I managed to say without choking on my words. My cheeks felt extremely flushed and were most likely bright red.
"Apology accepted" she laughed. "I'm not mad, you know? I just wasn't expecting it. Didn't think you were the kind of person to do that" she shrugged, proceeding to drink her coffee.
"I thought you were gonna tell me you don't want to see me anymore" I sighed.
"Don't be silly" she hit my arm. "I would never"
"Hmm. Good to hear. Do you usually sleep on your couch, also?"
"Oh, no, I tried to sleep in my room but got too worried about you. I always thought having a couch so big was useless, turns out it's not"
"You're always acting so tough and detached, but proceed to get worried about such a thing" I laughed.
"I am not going soft for you, if that's what you're insinuating" she raised an eyebrow.
"Whatever makes you sleep at night"
"Oh, stop it" she got up, taking our mugs and leaving them on the kitchen counter. "On a more serious note, how are you feeling?"
"My head feels like it's about to explode, but all good apart from that"
"First hangover huh? I know the feeling"
"Are you mocking me?" I crossed my arms.
"Absolutely not. I'll get you a Tylenol, hang on" she said as she headed towards the bathroom, opening a drawer.
"You really don't have to-" I said, before my voice got interrupted by my phone's ringtone.
The name 'Mei' appeared on the screen and I instantly started to panic,suddenly remembering what had happened right before I left the party.
"Shit" I mumbled.
"What happened?" Sam asked, coming back to the living room.
"Uhm, nothing" I said, placing my head in my hands.
"Your face doesn't look like nothing happened" she said, sitting next to me.
"It's just...it's just Mei. She was at the party yesterday" I started to say, contemplating whether I should have told her what happened or not.
"Oh. And?"
"Well," I said, after swallowing the Tylenol she'd got for me, gulping down a whole glass of water. "We kissed. She kissed me. I kind of ran away here immediately after. We were both drunk. At least, I was"
"Incredible" Sam burst out laughing.
"What? This is not funny, you know"
"It kind of is. But I'm sorry, I remember going through this kind of shit. You're gonna have to clear stuff up with her"
"Yeah. I'll call her back once the medicine kicks in. I think I need to go upstairs and take a shower, I feel icky all over"
"Fair enough," she laughed. "I'm not doing anything apart from occasional work in these few days, feel free to stop by anytime you want. Unless you have other wild parties to attend"
"I don't" I rolled my eyes. "I'll let you know, then"
"Good to know"
"Also, I really am sorry about what happened. Thank you for, well. Letting me in and actually helping me" I chuckled. "I promise it won't happen again"
"It's okay, I couldn't just leave you there in those conditions. I care about you" she smiled, placing her hand on top of mine, which was leaning on my thigh.
"I appreciate it" I said, gulping down the knot that had just formed in my throat.
"I should get going" I said after a few seconds of us silently staring at our intertwined hands.
"Yeah, of course" she said, getting up and looking at me with a questioning look.
"What?" I laughed, also getting up.
"Nothing," she nodded her head. "Hope you manage to climb the stairs"
"I don't have much choice" I said, stepping out of the front door.
"Just shout if you need help, I'll be right there" she joked.
"Okay then, I'll do that" I chuckled. "Have a nice day, Sam"
"You too. Try to rest as much as you can"
"Sure thing" I said as I turned around, facing the stairs.