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R.HAMILTON
The South of France sounded like heaven to River when she received the calendar invitation from her father's assistant. Quickly followed by another invite for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, titled 'Grand Prix De France 2022' since Alden's race magically fell on River's birthday week. It was no surprise they were going to spend it together on the coast of the French Riviera.
What surprised River was when Friday rolled around, and she found herself with a green Paddock Pass around her neck, Aaliyah's arm linked through hers as they made their way across the asphalt, and Harry stopped right in front of her. Aaliyah physically stiffened, even before River had a reaction, and it managed to bring the Hamilton back to the real world quicker.
"Oh," River breathed as she failed to hold her surprise back, the slight awkwardness she did not expect to feel now in complete control of her body. Subconsciously, she rolled her shoulders back, the red material of Alden's team's shirt moved with it smoothly. Funnily enough, it was the same shirt that Harry wore. "I didn't realise you'd be here this weekend."
"I am," he responded, which only added to how awkward River felt. Unable to take her eyes off of him, she stood there like a deer in headlight. The only thing on her mind was their kiss much like it was every day since it happened. Not even Harry's question to Aaliyah could make her move. "I was looking for Jade. Do you know where she might be?"
"Alden's driver's room," Aaliyah said. "I don't think we've been introduced before. You are...?"
Harry straightened up slightly. His eyes averted from Aaliyah's face to meet River's gaze for only a short moment. It was obvious to River that he felt uncomfortable, so she smiled softly like it would help ease his feelings. The exact same way she gave him an out at the art gallery and kissed him like the whole world wasn't watching.
"Harry. Nice to meet you," he said as he put his hand forward to shake on it with Aaliyah. The moment between them made River feel strange, and she noted the cold sweat on the back of her neck. Uneasiness filled the pit of her stomach like she could throw up any second, her throat squeezed, and her breathing seemed to have increased at some point.
As though River's angel knew she needed saving, her cousin fell in her line of vision with ease. He stood out in his yellow corduroy vest and trousers, his feet clad in black leather boots. It didn't take longer than an 'Excuse me' for River to step away from her best friend, and leave her with Harry. In that moment, she forgot about any previous requests from Harry where he wished to meet Aaliyah, but as the thoughts came to her, she knew that her best friend could hold up on her own.
"Lewis!" she called with a large grin on her face, though other than her smile, nothing else was visible. The red team hat she wore covered up her head, and her black framed glasses took up the top half of her face.
It wasn't right away that he noticed her, perhaps believed it to be a fan who echoed his name. Which, they were. Always. But then he saw her in the crowd and his face lit up, his smile grew and before River knew it, she was engulfed in a bone crushing hug.
"River, it's been too long," he said with his arms on her shoulder, squeezing her slightly. Lewis's eyes ran down her outfit, a knowing smirk homed on his face. "Ah, of course, you are repping the enemy colours."
Hamilton shrugged with an amused smile. "Listen, it was a gift. Maybe if I got gifts from your team..."
"Say no more," Lewis put his hands in the air in his own defence, then placed an arm around River's shoulder as they began to walk. It was the complete opposite direction to where River headed at first but anything to get away from Harry. "How are things? You're doing well?"
"Everything's as good as can be," she said. "It's a new chapter and whatnot, isn't it?"
Lewis didn't understand right away, and when it clicked for him, he said, "Your birthday was this week, wasn't it?" he seemed genuinely shocked, and almost guilty for forgetting.
"Wednesday, yeah," she nodded.
"Happy belated birthday. I'm definitely going to have to get you a team shirt to rock on Sunday," he joked but, on some level, River hoped he told the truth. She could've done with a new one since she didn't know where she lost her previous one. "In fact, why don't you come with me? I was on my way to speak with my engineer."
As usual, Lewis saved the day. Often, during family get-togethers, River would seek the man out, simply because he knew of many ways to get out of awkward situations. Lewis became River's get out of jail card, though it seemed he was more than happy to lend a hand.
Some time had gone by since River last set foot in the Mercedes garage, and so she didn't get away with not catching up with everyone there. Whilst her cousin was busy rummaging through the merch boxes, River checked her phone to find Aaliyah chain texting her about how inconsiderate River was for leaving her with Harry, and how River was going to have to make this up for her because she had no interest in showing Harry to Alden's driver's room.
"Here we go," she heard Lewis say as she responded back to Aaliyah. River didn't get the chance to look up from her phone as Lewis commented, "Someone's happy today."
It made River glance at him finally, and she felt herself grin harder. She zoned in on the shirts in his hand, obviously a selection for her to choose from.
"Are those all for me?"
"They could be," he teased, then nodded his head towards her phone. "Who got you cheesing like that?"
River rolled her eyes at her cousin and put her phone back into her bag. "No one. Now—let me see those shirts."
"Does Charlie go by 'no one', then?" he wondered as he held her bag while she looked over the shirts. Two black and two white, one of each with collars.
"Charlie?" she asked back, unaware of the conversation. "I prefer this one," she said as she looked to her cousin and held up the collared shirts. A wall placed between them to help River disappear from the interview-like questions.
"Mhm," he pushed her hands down so he could see her, and continued to await her response. When River groaned, he said, "Alright-alright, if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to talk about it."
"Good," she sighed.
"But you know where to find me if that family of yours becomes too much."
"I certainly do," she smiled, thankful more than anything else to have someone like Lewis in her life. Their relationship had always been special, and though they drifted apart as their lives began to expand, it made River feel warm and safe to know she still had a place in Lewis's life.
They chatted some more but River knew she was on borrowed time. Eventually, she had to face Harry, and Aaliyah would no doubt require an explanation for River's sudden urge to retreat. It didn't matter that her feelings were out of order, that her thoughts were jumbled to the point where she feared they'll never sort themselves out.
Arms wrapped in Mercedes team shirts, River rounded the Ferrari garage and made her way towards the room where Alden kept his belongings. It made for the perfect place to store things like a change of outfit for River—just in case something happened—and other things, like these shirts she got from Lewis.
Since it was empty, she sat down and dropped a question in the family groupchat to enquire everyone's whereabouts. River never usually watched the practice sessions because she found she had meetings most of the time, but given that it was her birthday week, she promised herself not to work and was more than content to keep that boundary in place.
A few moments later, Dorian's response flagged River's attention, the only person to respond to her question.
"Five salmon bagels, all to yourself?" River commented as she rounded the table where her brother sat, a red hat pulled low on his head, and a huge plate of bagels towered before him. His fingers were wrapped around a large pint, and he went in for a gulp as River sat down opposite to him. "My, oh my. You look as rough as I did when my Mac crashed with my final year dissertation open and unsaved."
Dorian's eyes held bags that made River's own well with tears. Pale skin. A deeply set frown. If River didn't know her brother, she would've assumed he was hungover but considering that she grew up with him, and spent the past week in close quarters with him, she knew this was much more serious. In fact, at first, she chose to put it off because it was her birthday and she didn't want to make things awkward.
For a moment, Dorian entertained River's comment as he chuckled but he sighed much too quick afterwards for it to be genuine. "Met up with a couple of friends last night, and we had a little too much to drink."
"And your solution is to drink more?"
Dorian grunted his response and picked up one of the salmon bagels, turned it around, then bit into the soft bread. "And eat this," he formed the words around his bite carefully then chewed on it to get out of a real answer.
"Perhaps if you talked to your wife—"
"None of your business," he gave the careless comment, cold and unusual for the warmest, most loving brother River ever knew. At the same time, she couldn't blame him for his abruptness since she was aware of the thorn between the couple, though not where it rooted from. "Aaliyah was looking for you. Why don't you find her, and leave me to my hangover?"
Granted, Aaliyah was one of River's best friends, but Dorian was her brother. If she ever had to choose, she knew who she would pick and that knowledge made it difficult to get up and leave. River cared for her family more than it was beneficial for her own wellbeing, and if Dorian had relationship problems that led to him drinking and looking like he was put through a human sized washing machine, then she couldn't just let her brother waste away like this.
However, River knew Dorian needed privacy. Plus, she knew how much she hated when her own boundaries were crossed therefore, she refrained from doing it to others as best as she could.
Deep in thought, River eventually met up with Aaliyah, and they found themselves a comfortable seat on the balcony above Alden's garage. Whilst it seemed like Aaliyah wasn't genuinely offended by the way River left her earlier, she did decide to vent about the most unnecessary things about Harry like how he didn't talk much, how awkward he was, and how she didn't understand the friendship between him and Alden. Pretty much everything that River already noted, and thought about herself.
Completely zoned out, she heard Aaliyah blabber on.
"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against him—well, besides the undying anger I feel when I think about the way he spoke about you, but—"
Then River interrupted her best friend.
"I think Dorian and Kaia are having serious problems in their marriage, and my brother doesn't want anyone to know."
"Oh?" her best friend reacted. "Abrupt change of conversation but it makes sense that he doesn't want anyone to know."
"Does it?" River questioned, even though she knew it did make sense. The Hamiltons had an image to maintain. Problems in the eldest son's marriage, who was going to inherit everything their father and their fathers and their fathers had worked for, did not fit into that agenda. "He told me it's none of my business."
"It's none of your business, then," Aaliyah replied.
"But—"
"Listen," she sighed and placed her bubbling glass of champagne to the side. River almost refused to glance at her friend but Aaliyah's burning gaze forced her otherwise. "I know you love your brother and you like to take care of people but this is not something you can fix."
"We don't know that."
Lowell laughed. "Dorian and Kaia have a special relationship, one that I know you always admired. But did you really think they don't ever have their problems?"
"No," River said. "Of course, I know they have problems. But they're never severe enough to drive Dorian to drink, and look like a raccoon."
The comment drew a hearty laugh from Aaliyah and the sound was enough to help River smile.
"I saw him earlier and the comparison to a raccoon is spot on," she grinned and River shrugged. It was the truth. A couple of seconds of silence sat between the two friends before Aaliyah gave River's knee a comforting squeeze, and said, "Your brother will figure it out like he always does. Let's not drown in problems and stress that are not our concern."
"You're right," River nodded. "It's my birthday week."
"Exactly!" Aaliyah agreed. "And—there goes your brother. I think."
Surely enough, one of the red cars did whizz past the start and finish line, though whether it was Alden or his team mate, River couldn't confirm. At the speed they drove, it was practically impossible to know.
Much like the speed at which River decided to kiss Harry a week ago to help him out of an awkward situation. Completely unlike anything she ever did, even though she wanted to claim otherwise. River was a private person, preferred to keep things to herself most of the time, and her romantic—or lack thereof—relationships were grouped under this umbrella.
The thought bothered her every day since the kiss-like gesture happened between them, and it wasn't like she could talk to anyone about it. The only person who had any idea was the man who made her commit the crime, and when she saw him earlier, it was the only thing she could think about.
And to think so much about a kiss that wasn't truly a kiss started to make River go crazy.
"I need to do something," she said out loud, more to confirm it for herself than to let her best friend know. Although, the latter wasn't a bad idea, either.
"Do what?" Aaliyah asked as she pushed herself up from the chair at the same time, folded her arms on her chest, and regarded River with furrowed brows. "Your brother said—"
"I don't have a plan for Dorian yet," she explained. "This is something else. Work related."
Aaliyah raised her brows, clearly not the right person to try and fool.
"Promise," River smiled and ran a hand down Aaliyah's arm, then squeezed her hand. "You have my location pinned in your phone. You'll never lose sight of me."
Just when River felt like she may never get away from her best friend, Lowell gave in and sat back down to enjoy the rest of the champagne. There was a newfound skip in River's steps as she left the building and headed towards the garage where Harry would no doubt could be found. The conversation they had at Alden's home race lived in River's head.
Much like every single other interaction between them which made her sudden confidence in confronting him all the more dangerous.
Sure enough, the man in red stood with headphones on and leaned against a cabinet as he watched the large screen. River stole a quick glance to find her brother put the quickest lap-time in with her cousin being third. The rivalry would forever continue between them as much as it did between the two Hamiltons and the rest of the grid. While River pretended not to know, she was very aware of the things people said—how one or both of them bought their way into the sport, how they thought it unfair to have two drivers of the same family compete in the same seasons.
"Hey," she said as she stopped beside him, front enough for him to see her but not obvious enough that she blocked his line of vision.
Harry's mouth fell apart slightly before he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, and pulled one side of his headphones away from his ear. "Hi."
"Let's go for a walk," she nodded towards the back exit then moved towards the door without Harry. She hoped the proposition was enough to pique his interest.
Given that practice was on, taking a walk seemed easier. River knew this place almost like the back of her hand, so she navigated smoothly through the people who were around. She found Harry to follow her with ease, and it made her heart beat much quicker.
"Alright. We're walking."
The smart comment from Harry made River scoff and roll her eyes. The pace she picked up was more like a run at that point so she slowed her steps and collected her thoughts. There were many which made it hard, especially since they all jumped to the forefront of her mind with urge to be shared.
"Alright," she echoed him. "I need you to do me a favour. I need you to kiss me again."
If Harry was shocked to hear those words, he didn't show it. Absolutely no response came from him as they continued to walk side by side, both of them looking ahead. People started to become scarcer around them which instantly built more privacy for their conversation. It wasn't planned but River couldn't deny its pure convenience.
When it became too frustrating to not get an answer, River stopped and turned to face Harry. There. Shock. The reaction she failed to find at first because she didn't look at him. Harry's eyes remined wide and his eyebrows were pulled high up on his face.
"Hello?" she snapped her fingers so close to his face that she felt him exhale. "The faster we get it done, the faster I can move on with my life."
"I'm sorry—you want..." he chuckled, dry, unbelieving of the request thrown at him. "You want to kiss me again?"
"No, I want you to kiss me," she corrected him.
"Wow," he mouthed, laughing again as he pushed his hands in the pocket of his jeans and walked around River. Harry suddenly turned back to look at her and said, "You're aware that we're not..."
"Yes," she groaned. "I am very aware that we're not..." she copied him, and waved her hands in the air as they both lacked the definition of what they were... not. "You must stop making this such a big deal, and kiss me so we can go our separate ways."
"Have you considered that I have no interest in kissing you?" he asked as he spun back to face River again, one of his hands in the air as if it made his differing stance on the matter even clearer. "Or did you come up with this insane idea because it somehow benefits you, and to hell with the other party as usual?"
River stopped as she realised she did not think of Harry while she made the decision but then again, she didn't think of herself when she proposed the idea to kiss him to save him from embarrassment. This was to be a favour which she would no doubt repay him for if he ever needed anything so, really, this shouldn't have been as big of a deal for him as he made it out to be.
The part where he called her selfish went in one ear and through the other to exit. Harry wasn't the first person to say this to her and he certainly was not going to be the last since people enjoyed the assumptions they jumped to whenever they encountered River.
"I offered when you needed help," she said desperately, and her skin crawled at the thought. River Hamilton was never desperate. Her mouth had gone dry and she curled her fingers into her palm until her nails left crescent moons behind. Harry's immediate response was to scoff and shake his head. "You think I'd ask you if I didn't have to resort to your help?"
"Wow," he added verbally, the dry laughter there again. "You're selling this incredibly well."
River almost swore at him out of frustration. This conversation made her look not only desperate now, but a complete fool. Somehow, she became Harry's pure entertainment as she embarrassed herself with no way to clear her image.
"Listen, I'm not going to kiss you," he clarified, and River's heart plummeted. The reaction was over the top, and she didn't understand it in that moment, but it felt irritatingly right. Annoying, perhaps. She didn't want to have such a response to Harry's rejection and yet. "What happened at the gallery, happened because you thought it to be your best course of action. It wasn't initiated by me."
"You're blaming me for it?" she asked, confused. Visibly so as her eyebrows furrowed deeply. It seemed like all of River's emotions were on a great big screen for everyone to view, but, again, she didn't feel as though she could control them.
"No," the denial on his end didn't take away from the initial hit of River's interpretation. "I'm saying I'm not interested in you."
"Well, I'm not interested in you," she fired back with honesty and fought the urge to cross her arms.
Harry bit into his bottom lip and hid the smile that began to stretch on his face. "Sure. You're not into me but need me to kiss you? River, please."
Riv-uh.
Fuck. Sake. Up until this moment, she didn't take much notice of the way he pronounced her name. Truth be told, he hadn't done it many times in her presence since most of their conversations were limited, and usually exchanged through forced smiles, chin-dips, and the odd eye-roll when one pissed the other off.
"The point is, nothing will ever happen between us and I need you to understand that I will not kiss you. Ever."
Blood rushed to her cheeks as he embarrassed her. Thankfully, no one was around but being told these things while heavy eye contact was in place felt terribly humbling. River didn't know she could feel guilty for asking someone to do something yet there she stood, feeling like a complete loser in her Ferrari merch, now completely alone, and she couldn't help but want to curl into a ball and hide away for the rest of the weekend to tune out her feelings.
In reality, that was not an option. She had Saturday and Sunday to survive, to put on a face, and pretend like the manager from her family's business didn't make her feel like she was the dirt on the sole of his shoes.
That, and deal with her brother's marriage problems because someone had to keep the family together, right?
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Happy Friday!
River is... well, she is a fucking mess. If she was confused in the last chapter I'm not sure how to describe her now. For someone who claims they don't like someone, she sure is acting like her boyfriend just broke up with her lol. Bless. She needs a little kiss. Any volunteers?
Also, this chapters cured my F1 off-season depression. March 2023 is much too far and I don't know if I'll make it. Will keep you updated.
Another thing - I need thoughts, theories, suggestions, prompts for our silly little couple. I'm STUCK. Writer's block is kicking my ass so bad that everything I write I delete. I need to spice Riverry up. Shall I off one of Harry's brothers? Might be too dramatic and leaves too much to clean up. I'm open to anything, though. I might bring back Harry's ex.
ANYWAY.
Hope you enjoyed. I certainly did. ALSO. It's December. That's a little insane to me like where did this year go? 2023 next. What the fuck.
See you next Friday!
Love, B xx