Chapter Thirteen
CHRISTOPHER POV:
I had just done my absolute best by trying to bake the muffins, the brownies, and an apple pie all exactly the way Emma likes them. I had the music on, and of course, Pepper was yipping around the house while Marshmallow just lied on the dog bed, looking bored. And I am trying my best to not make quite a mess in here, because I know how clean obsessed she is. And I want everything to be perfect for her for when she gets home. I hope it's soon. She's been gone for a while.
But I have been getting persistent calls from Rachel, which I assume might actually be important. But I clearly, I have no idea what is going on with our families that they call us so much that they think we need to pick up the phone all the time. I mean, can they ever give us a break? So, I don't feel like there is a need to answer it, especially when I have been baking in this kitchen, and trying to pack everything of what I think I'll need to bring with us to Santa Maria. And I have the Bluetooth speaker on of music and I am trying to actually bake the muffins the right way. At least at how Emma likes them. But somehow I feel like I have failed at that.
Of course, Rachel wouldn't stop calling my phone, and I was just not in the mood to talk to her right now. The only person I truly want to talk to is Emma. But I'm sure Emma will be home at any minute now. But I thought she would text me to let me know she is on her way home. But I haven't received any text messages from her. The only text I got was at one this afternoon saying she was going to meet with Mandy. So, I don't know if she'll be back anytime soon. But I'm sure she's okay. I'm not gonna panic just because she's late. Or should I?
I had tried making the muffins perfect. But they were super overcooked. But I assume it has to do with me possibly missing an ingredient. I had to distract myself so I moved on by trying to tidying up the house. So I started with washing and scrubbing the bathroom floor and then the tub and then the shower. And then I decided removing the sheets from the bedroom and putting new ones on. I feel like I'm just stress cleaning. And I had after, took out a basket leaving a white and blue checkered material on the bottom before placing any food in it. This could be like having a picnic. But we're going to Santa Maria. Where it's sunny there. And a beautiful lake there. We went there three years ago with mom and Edward. After I had broken up with April. I remember being so in distraught that I returned home so drunk that I basically attacked Emma. My drunken words were these thoughts of truth. But they were mean, hurtful things. Things that I could and never can take back. Because of my behavior, mom and Edward sent me with Emma and her mom Rachel to Santa Maria to spend a few days at the lake house. Emma and I had reconciled with our time there. Before that it was four months we were apart. And we went to the lake house around this time to be honest.
I open the basket that is big, enough to hold for an army. And I had placed in a jar of grapes. And a jar of jam. And I had a jug of orange juice. And I also decided to place in a couple of sandwiches. And some cheese. Two cups. And also, some saltines. And then I nicely placed the brownies in there. And it wasn't crammed at all. I had finally closed the basket and I secured it making sure it was fine. And it was. And then I had brought it out into the car placing it in the backseat.
When I had reentered back into the house, I had washed my hands, and then I decided to check on the news for a minute, as I turned on the tv and I tried figuring out what to do about the burnt overcooked muffins. And I had heard a door close. And I assumed that it was definitely Emma getting in. I felt butterflies in my stomach the second I heard, so I patiently waited, while watching the news talking about the rain. Well it was already raining outside. And when I heard the door open, I had immediately jumped onto my feet and I ran to the door so quickly, and very excitingly I was so happy to see her. But then everything had definitely changed.
I saw Emma standing in the doorway. She was completely soaked from head to toe. Her hair drenching wet and onto the floor. I saw her looking absolutely terrified or in shock. It was as if she had seen a ghost. And I was fearful of what was going on. It was like she had received bad news or something. And I panicked. So I quickly ran to her, assisting to her aide. But she remained to be unresponsive and just pale as anything. And I knew something happened to her today. And I hate how she is acting. I'm not getting good fucking vibes with this.
"Emma, tell me what's wrong?" I had politely asked her in my most calm voice. "Please come right inside. Come right in."
I pulled her in all the way. And I closed the door once she was in. And then I dragged her into our sitting room. I helped take off her jacket, and I sat her down on the sofa gently. And I just stare at her, wondering what happened out there. Here she is soaking wet. And then, I go run into the kitchen and I make her a cup of tea. She is absolutely freezing so I put a nice flannel blanket around her to warm her up. I had turned off the tv. Not bothered by tonight's weather at all.
"Emma," I sat down on my knees on the floor before her, while she remained mute as she was drinking the tea, but hardly.
I placed my hand on her knee, trying to figure out what is wrong or what happened.
"Baby, please tell me what's wrong." I tried to have her confide in me. "Is it Santa Monica? Or about your parents? Whatever it is... you can trust me. I'm here for you. But please please don't shut me out."
She had looked at me, and I could see there was terror and fear in her eyes. It was drowning in her eyes like she was fuming beneath the surface to not die but only to be rescued. And I figured something was awfully wrong.
"I couldn't shut you out." She finally spoke, and she stroked my right side of my face with the back of her hand.
"Emma, what's going on? What happened?" I had asked her, wishing we could talk about anything right now because I know something bad happened.
"We need to buy a gun," was all she said and then she had placed her tea down on the coffee table and she got up from the sofa, walking over to the window, as if she was expecting someone to be out there.
I was absolutely so confused by what she meant by the gun. She said that we need to buy a gun. But I'm just so lost how he'd persona changed so quickly.
"What?" I gasped out with a sarcastic laugh. "What are you talking about?"
With her still looking out the window, I stood within only about ten feet away from across the room because of how big the sitting room is. Here she was still looking out the window. But then she turned around to look at me. She ran her hand through her damp hair.
"We need to buy a gun." She repeated, almost sternly, that left me in shock.
I frowned, trying to process what she just said. "Okay."
I stayed quiet, thinking about it. But it was so hard to process this. But she awaited patiently for me to say something further.
"Can I ask you why do we need to buy a gun?" I said, trying be to calm with my question, I don't wanna offend her.
"Someone is out there... that doesn't want us to be happy, Christopher. And it doesn't matter who it is. Whether that may be Josh, Noah, Peach or Liam. But somebody or someone out there doesn't want to see our relationship succeed. And they'll separate us again. And I can't risk that all over again after everything we been through and after everything we fought for to be together after so long. And I can't lose you again. Not in this way." Emma explained, trying to make herself make sense, but I still didn't get it. And my face read it all.
I had seen the look on her face, and she was not herself. And I didn't know what she wanted to hear from me. Emma is perfect and I am not worried about anyone coming between us. I had cut off both Peach and Liam months ago. Which feels so much longer. So why would they do anything to prevent this relationship? I actually don't understand. Why does Emma worry? What happened to her out there today that she thinks we need a gun?
"Emma, nobody's going to come between us. I don't know why you would think something like that." I said to her, trying to get the full attention and understanding to why.
Emma looked at me like she was telling me that there is a reason to reconsider it. Emma returned to sit on the sofa right by me.
"I love you," is what came out with a whiny cry while beneath she was sobbing. She pulled her hair out of her face that was damp and wet still. "I love you, Christopher. I had lied to you and to myself when I was with Noah. I didn't love him. I believed I was because I said only what I wanted. I wanted to move on. But of course, I didn't. And still, I know how much Peach hates me. And she might be angry with me for us getting back together. And I'm scared. I don't know what I'm supposed to do."
I never knew Peach was a main concern in our relationship. Somehow I cannot escape Peach. And it drives me crazy because Peach took everything away from me. And I cannot stand that she's still here haunting me and tearing both Emma and me. And I hate it.
"Emma, I love you. That's why I asked you to move in with me. And I'm not worried about Peach. She's a model in Calabasas. And she is not bothering us. And I'm not worried. And neither should you." I said, hoping what I said was enough to actually convince her.
"Christopher, am I enough for you? Please tell me I'm enough for you." She pleaded with me, and here I saw the tears in her eyes, just looking at me.
I gasped with shock and I just remained silent and I pulled her in for a long embrace.
"You are more than enough. Your my everything. There's no one else I could live better. No one can make me happier than you ever have. Not like how it was when we were in New York together. That was the best moment of my existence... with you." I said.
She seemed to cool down from my words. I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible. There's obviously been a lot of things she's been through. And it must be very hard for her to just process everything together after the things Noah put her through. And I guess I blame myself for what happened to her. Noah practically shot her when he was trying to shoot me. And then, his brother, Josh took advantage of her and I wasn't there to protect her and I just feel this awful guilt.
And I'm sure Emma is feeling worse than I am right now. And all I wanted was to make her feel safe. I know that she suffered emotional and physical abuse. And I can't take it away like it's my fault. But somehow I feel like it is my fault. But I'm told over and over that it is not my fault. I'm told this, and I'm still going to convince myself that it is. But I'm more worried of such, while Emma's fear of us being separated is from her. But I'm truly fine to be honest with her and convince her that I love her and know that nothing or nobody is to come between us.
Emma sobbed a bit with a chuckle, and I'm sure that her worry was wiped out and she thought about her fears being driven out. It's that we both want the same thing. We want comfort and happiness. I think that's all that matters right now.
"That was the happiest I ever was." Emma admitted, and I could read her face that she was having a little bit of deja vu. And absolutely thinking about the time we had.
"Why?" I chuckled.
"Well, I stepped out of the most worst thing that ever happened to me in my life. And then, I was whisked away. Kinda like an adventure. And I think I realized being around you is what I love most. And I think I can never not be around you because I love having you right by my side." She said, and she had me quite interested, and all I could think about was what we were like when we were in New York together.
"Yes, New York was great." I agreed. "But Emma, why did you say we needed a gun?"
Emma looked at me and she seemed lost. And it looked like she was ready to deny it. But then something popped right in her head I could tell.
"Just for protection. You know in case someone breaks in or any intruders. Nothing big." She replied.
Is it sad that I could tell she was lying?
But I was not going to pull this along and actually just go on about the whole thing. I can't just accuse her of lying because I know what will happen. She will keep denying and j won't be able to get my point across and we'll both be at each other's throats by the end of it.
So I'm just letting this go.
"Okay then." I nodded.
We both had walked into the kitchen, and I wanted us to make sure everything was definitely secured here. And I had tried making sure Emma didn't see anything I made in the oven that I practically failed at. It's baking I have quite a problem with. I can cook meals whether it's breakfast or dinner. But I literally cannot bake very well. Emma came walking in with the tea cup and she just saw how the bad baking I did was awful and I was not sure what she thought. But I wish I could read her mind at a time like this. She barely stepped across the kitchen but she looked paralyzed at where she was standing. And I was only trying to imagine what is going on in her head.
"Don't panic, Em." I literally had to pause her, and just remain calm with her. I threw everything into the sink, I was completely embarrassed as she said nothing so I was panicking more. "I'm sorry about the kitchen actually being a mess. I know how much you hate them. And we're supposed to be on highway 29 right now. I'm sorry about the pie I practically destroyed. I'm just panicking and I'm also humiliated so now would be nice if you could say something to me..."
I felt Emma's hand touch the back of my shoulder as h heard her mumble my name gently.
"Christopher..." she dragged my name out.
I turned around facing her. "I get it if your upset about the mess..."
I thought I was going to be able to finish my sentence. But then she had kissed me, pressing her lips to mine and I was actually completely shook. And so I had not closed my eyes until after I noticed this. And after we kissed, I had melted into the kiss that made me feel like I was in bliss. And here I was just looking at her, seeing her eyes just looking right at me.
Once she pulled away from the kiss, her hand was stroking the side of my cheek. And she just smiled.
"I'm not upset about the mess. But I get it that the ingredients weren't correct. But next time, I guess I can help you with it." She told me, and I couldn't deny that because baking with her right beside me would be heaven.
"Yes!" I exclaimed quickly. "I would love to bake with you. I mean, your literally my queen when it comes to the kitchen."
"And your my king when it comes to the bed. Because you make me the happiest at it." Emma said, and I felt myself blush.
Emma had turned away for a second.
"So, whose taking care of Pepper and Marshmallow?" She politely asked.
"Ty and Lara Jean are stopping by first thing tomorrow. They'll check in. And if your dad wants he can too." I said.
Of course Emma was completely excited that we didn't have to worry about it. Of course, I had made those arrangements because I knew we couldn't just leave them here alone like this for three days. And I had decided on us to actually try to get on the road before eight o'clock. So very happily, I had pulled Emma in, and I began to embrace my arms around her and start to just kiss her. And somehow when I had kissed her, I knew that it was impossible to stop. And here she was right here with me.
And I knew that loving her was the only thing I truly had within myself. And sometimes, I'm certain I love her more than I love myself. Maybe that's the problem with me. Maybe I haven't tried loving myself. It was way back before. When I was fifteen, I lost my virginity when I was too young, naive and not ready, I think. Because I never found love in the way that I should. Gina toyed between Patrick and me. Bad enough Gina was a chronic liar and a manipulator. Because of that relationship, I turned into a toxic manipulative narcissist myself when I met Emma and dated April. And I knew Emma and April were both victims. April deserved better than me. Maybe I'm being a little over dramatic. But it's the truth. Or so I think this exactly how I feel. I never took accountability for it until several months back when I met up with April in December.
I know kissing Emma brings me to my mind, and it cuts sense right in my heart because I have only felt this exact moment with her. I somehow just wanted the girl I been chasing for a year to actually love to be mine. And I guess it is quite an extraordinary gift.
Her eyes stared right into mine finally just as our lips pulled away. And with all the excitement and commotion, I had seen her gaze right at me. Simply, I had done everything in my power to love her as I have been. Here she was, in my arms, completely devoted to me. And I had looked at how good it is to feel to be with her. And after all this time, we are just finally building up a trust.
Emma had immediately looked away and she could see through the windows of the pouring rain. And I knew that arriving in the rain would seem awful.
"Oh my god, I just remembered we're going to the lake house and it's still raining! What are we gonna do? Is that a bad thing?" Emma immediately looked worried, and I didn't wish for her to be worked up, it's bad enough she was definitely going through something traumatizing when she walked in through the door since she got home.
I gently grabbed both of her shoulders, as I stood behind her, looking at the rain that was pouring outside.
"It isn't changing anything, Em. We're still going. I have most of everything packed." I politely said, and she seemed to relaxed, as quiet as she was.
She sighed. "Well in that case, I need to pack."
She turned away, heading to the foyer to get to the stairs. I had stayed by the window and then I had pulled the curtain over, blocking us from the outside. And of course, I remained quiet because I wasn't sure exactly what she was thinking. And of course, in the faded distance I heard Emma's footsteps walking up the stairs. And while I was in the kitchen I decided on cleaning up the awful mess that was around. I made sure to have everything washed and cleaned and neat. I assume that Emma was upstairs to pack for Santa Maria.
My mind was completely set somewhere else, and when I was thinking of just the possibility of how Emma straight out lied to me. I can read her like a book. And I saw on her face she was lying. Why did she truly want us to buy a gun? There has to be a reason. I just wish she would trust me to tell me whatever it is. I'm getting the feeling something happened to her when she was outside. But I'm literally not going to force her because she'll just deny it. And I'm one hundred percent sure that Emma just doesn't trust me to be open about everything when she told me that all she wants is us to be open and to tell each other everything. And yet, here she is contradicting herself and not being honest with me.
After all those times Emma was super upset about how I refused to tell her what was in my nightmares. But I haven't had those nightmares in weeks. Not since after New York. And I'm certain that Emma has this effect on me and it all just goes away when I'm with her. But she saw what those terrors did. And she wanted to know. But I didn't tell her because I couldn't trust her. I didn't owe her anything at the time. Well for many reasons. One; I wasn't in a relationship with her. She was with Noah. Even if it was this back and forth thing. And two; she had this indecisive behavior when it came to trust even if we were friends, family or something more. So yes, I didn't trust her. Just like how she isn't trusting me right now. And the look on her face was like she was terrified. Or had witnessed something scary, something traumatic almost. So I cannot imagine what she had happen.
I had not cared about getting anything out of her. But it's just bothering me. I can't even imagine what she wasn't telling me. I hope it's not something so bad that she hid from me just to have control over herself. She thinks if I get involved or know certain things that she can handle shouldn't have me getting involved in. But I disagree, keeping me out of it is the worst thing she could ever do to me.
I know I'm making it about myself, but this isn't about me. Mostly because Emma is sort of going through a lot and I can't judge her for the things she has done. Like loving a complete narcissist who did burn down my apartment. And still it traumatizes me especially seeing Emma get shot right in front of me and then how I almost lost her from a bullet that was meant for me.
There is a lot of crazy things I do have to acknowledge. Including the craziest one of how Emma doesn't have any trust. And it actually hurts. So for now I'll be silent and I won't let it bother me. I'll try my best to hide from her as best I can.
While I was finished putting a few utensils away, and then all of a sudden I heard my phone ringing. I had found it sitting on the kitchen table as it was going off. I thought it was possibly nobody important, so I was ready to hit ignore because I was busy trying to clean the rest of the kitchen up and get myself ready to get to Santa Maria. But I picked my phone up, seeing it was Edward. And I was happy that it wasn't Rachel. So I sighed a relief. And so I hit the answer button.
"Hey Edward." I answered, and I had the curiosity of his call.
"Hey Christopher." He replied almost too quick for me. "You haven't left yet?"
"No, not yet. But we're going to leave soon. We'll drive there if we have to be stuck in traffic all night." I said, standing at the island, and I just thought of him being curious of us leaving.
Edward sighed. "Well, you both... drive safe. It's storming pretty bad out there. And also, the extra key is hidden in the plant. Rachel wanted me to remind you."
I actually thought that's probably the reason why Rachel was trying to call to tell me about the extra key. Well don't I feel stupid. And of course, she had to call Edward to tell me. But it's absolutely not crazy because the passionate old married couple have this history that I sort of hate, but I accept it anyways. Even though I know I should hate it altogether.
"So, you and Rachel are talking even after you and mom are going to work out your problems?" I had quite a sarcasm behavior towards it, and I think Edward would know the difference.
"Rachel is still my ex wife. I'm not married to her anymore. But we have a history of friendship. It's something we do have to accept. And your mom... we are working it out. We both agreed. It's nothing for you to worry about it." He said, and I sort of wanted to scream, but I knew this guy is so hard to keep up with.
"I don't know why you have to talk to her at all!" I had yelled, but feeling that regret feeling taking over me and I immediately calmed myself down. "I'm sorry. It's just... please do not ruin it than you already have."
"I'm not ruining anything, Christopher. I'm doing exactly what I said I'd do. Remain friends with Rachel. And work on my marriage with your mom. That's all I truly care about. And same goes for you. Worry about yourself and Emma. That's it. Okay?" He said.
Why is he so frustrating? Because I clearly cannot take him being like this. I literally looked at the clock and I just only cared about how insane Edward is. And also, he's cruel.
"Like I said to you today... your going to have to make a choice. My mom or Rachel. You will have to decide." I told him, no matter how cold my voice came off.
I heard him sigh, and I can definitely picture what he might look like. I pictured him in the master bathroom having this conversation with tears, and he wants this conversation to be hidden from my mother. And I don't wish for him to be in this pain.
"Yeah, I know." He mumbled underneath his breath, and I just knew that he was torn between both.
"But you will have to decide. But just take your time. That's all." I said, and there was nothing said but silence. I saw the clock and it was getting much later. "I'm sorry Edward, but I have to go. It's getting late. But I'll see you when we get back."
"Yes, okay."
"Bye Edward. See you soon." I had hung up, but certainly very shortly after, and that's when I just went to leave my phone on the table and I had finished cleaning up with whatever I was doing.
I had even re-organized the can foods in our cabinets, by taking all of them out and leaving them on the table and I counted them all and then looking at the dates seeing if anything was expired. But of course none of them were. And I had then placed them back in the cabinet, neatly. And I made sure the label was facing outward to face forward.
As soon after, I had gone upstairs to find Emma upstairs in our master bedroom and she had quite a suitcase and she packed for what she needed for the weekend. And she seemed indecisive a few times, but she still put a couple bathing suits in there anyway.
While upstairs, I could hear the rain hitting against the windows and hitting the roof of the house and pouring in through the drain pipes. And of course, I saw Emma throw a few night clothes for the three nights. And I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. She didn't look in a rush. And I guess she was quite looking for the right things to pack. And I had seen her just zip up the suitcase and the bag. And I could tell she was trying to get through with everything. She wants to get on the road to Santa Maria as much as possible.
I couldn't actually understand if her trying to rush was a bad or good thing. And I absolutely do not approve anyone being cruel to Emma. And I will not stand for it. I can tell that something is on Emma's mind, and she's just hiding it. She's very good at keeping secrets. And I hate that she has to lie to me about it. Where is the trust if she hides things?
"Hey," I said, just standing in the doorway, and I just saw her look at me quickly like she was startled.
"Oh, hey." She had looked relaxed and released a sigh out of anxiety.
I had my hands in my pockets. "Is it okay if I come in?"
"Yes." She quickly said, her face looking like she was not frustrated anymore.
So with no words being said, I walked into the room. And the first thing I did was actually just see her looking somewhat anxious. Like I said, I know that she was hiding something. She was lying to me about why we need a gun. But I think I'm good at just keeping my thoughts on this to myself and not say anything. Because I do not want to argue with her.
"So... how was your day out with Mandy?" I asked politely, not stressed, and very calmly and I closed the door behind me, leaning against it.
I watched her throw in a bra, a few socks and other clothing materials I didn't quite know what they were but she clearing shoved them in.
"It was good. We only went out to the Omill for brunch. And we talked." Emma replied, a short smile on her face, but she was being mute like she didn't want to say much about it.
I took my hands out of my pockets and crossed them against my chest instead.
"Well that's good." I nodded, and I started thinking. "What did you guys talk about?"
I know I may have crossed the line.
"We basically just caught up. Nothing too much." She said, and I was definitely shook by it.
"Well that's good to hear. But I'm surprised you don't have much to say. Usually you would always have a lot to say. But it's like something might be bothering you... and you do know you can talk to me. About anything." I driven her to try to at least have confidence or to confide in me for anything.
Of course, I watched Emma very closely and I saw her take off her jacket and she took off her shoes and she just had socks on her feet. And she paced back and forth between the bedroom and the walk in closet.
"There's just not much to say." She had said after pacing and then I watched her go for the necklace.
"Emma, let's not wear that anymore." I walked right to her, putting both of my hands over hers as she stood right by the vanity.
"Why?" She asked.
It was killing me to say. "That necklace has brought us nothing but bad luck."
"Christopher," she started to say, chuckling. "You do know there is no such thing as good or bad luck."
I hadn't actually thought about it like that. But I do just feel like that necklace started a lot of bad things to happen to us. Like perhaps, the Polaroids, Edward separating us, Emma being put in a mental institution, Emma dating a narcissist, Emma not believing anything I said when it came to Noah, then us being rekindled, but Emma being in the most toxic relationship. And then, my apartment got burned down, Emma got shot, I was assaulted. There was so much. So the necklace needs to go. It's brought bad things to happen to us.
"Okay... but I do think that, this necklace is the reason bad things have happened to us." I pointed out, trying to sound very convincing.
"Okay then, I will just leave it here. And I guess other than that... I am completely fine." Emma smiled, leaving the necklace on the vanity.
She had taken the suitcase and decided to roll it out. And she took the duffle bag, carrying it on her shoulder. I was beyond obsessed by looking at the necklace at the vanity. And Emma had left out of the room. I took the necklace and placed it in Emma's jewelry drawer. And then I had followed with her out of the room and then I turned the light off while leaving.
I had followed Emma as she rolled her suitcase out to the car. It was pouring rain out as we had walked right out to the driveway and I had popped the trunk to my car and she had threw the suitcase in along with her duffle bag. And then she had shut the trunk up to my Honda. And then she had gazed right at me.
"Are you sure you don't want to take my mustang instead?" She asked me, obviously being honest with me by wanting a response.
I looked at our cars that sat out here in the rain of our driveway. I had sighed, looking at the cars for best option.
"I think we can take the Honda. What is wrong?" I said calmly.
"Nothing." She quickly said. "I just thought we could bring some old memories back together. Besides, it's been a long time since I have driven it. We can drive with the hood up. Because the seats are leather."
I smiled, realizing she wants me to comply.
"Okay. Well, we do need to fill the gas tank up on the way." I told her, actually agreeing which I didn't think I would.
"Yay!" She exclaimed excitedly, her arms out in the air.
We were both standing in the pouring rain. I was soaked from head to toe, and I obviously watched her, and she just started screaming with happiness in the pouring rain. And she looked up at the rain pouring down on her. And she seemed like she always loved the sun. But now she's loving the pouring rain. And I just couldn't stop watching her, and she had turned to be hyper, she was bare footed, running around in the rain, she was wet from head to toe and I just gazed, watching her.
"This is what I love!" She yelled loudly, and I obviously watched her spread her arms out like a bird. "I love to be free! I wanna dance in the rain forever!"
I had only smiled, and I couldn't think if this was a good or bad idea. I had seen Emma now suddenly just starting to twirl, spin and dance around as the rain poured down much harder. And she had basically screamed like a child. And I obviously didn't care what she did, because I saw how happy she was. And I don't think she has ever been this happy in so long. And her brown eyes just gazed right at me with her smile being as big as her heart.
Somehow I felt like the world was quiet when it came to us. And she had spun around and that was clearly the first thing she did was spin around like there was nothing other. And then I had emerged to her, embracing her. She had giggled louder than ever, and I had pulled her by her waist and I lifted her up in my arms and she had wrapped her legs around my waist.
We were both soaked, drenched in the rain. And her eyes just gazing at me. And I had smiled at her, holding her in my arms.
"I love you." I said, gazing at her, holding her in my arms.
"Not as much as I love you." She protested, and I knew this would turn into a competition.
"Of course I love you more." I argued my way to her.
Instead of arguing back with me she had kissed me, and I melted into her kiss, our lips moving in sync. I moaned against her lips. She braced both sides of my head as her lips attached onto mine as we kissed like the world turned into our heaven. And I felt somehow very nostalgic. And I clearly want nothing else but to stay close to her. And she is melting into my arms. And even with the rain pouring down on us, I had kissed her with every bit of passion I had.
I had placed her down on the hood of the car that she sat on and she had her hands bracing the back of my neck as her lips gently kissed me. And all I want is to hold her tight like this forever. I had pulled her in and brought my lips to her neck and she leaned back, moaning because this was the best feeling.
I would want nothing other but to actually tear off her clothes right now by and take her here. But we're in our driveway, and I couldn't possibly do that. I had kissed the crook of her neck, moving my lips on her neck in small pecks. Her eyes were closed, as I did my work. I had ended up caressing her breasts over her clothes and I am sure she was locked in lust. We were both soaked in the rain like this. And this exact moment was one hundred percent the way I loved being in.
Emma had pulled me in, kissing me very seductively that I felt hungry for her. I groaned, and I ended up getting in between her legs, and she was still kissing me with every passion she had. And I wanted to do nothing more but was to kiss her like this forever. I had already felt like she was all I had. I had just kissed her, and I felt like we were tied into this. And we were together. And this is exactly how I like it. And somehow I just couldn't keep my hands off of her. And she was absolutely beautiful and I had pulled her closer by embracing her waist, pulling her towards me.
"Please promise me this is forever." She murmured, her lips pulling off of mine, and she had somehow was comforted to me.
I had known that we're both scared of the same thing; losing one another. And I know that losing her would kill me. And I want this to obviously be forever. I want us to always be together. And that's why I think we both have a hard time at accepting anything because we are so badly stubborn and selfish. I can't just put my hands down and not worry about if something might happen to Emma tomorrow. I almost died when she left me the last time. And I watched her get shot which did scare me terribly. So if I have to ever go through with that again, I will lose my mind.
"I promise," I spoke, keeping my voice soft and calm. "Forever."
We had returned back to kissing, my lips not removing from hers. And I heard her moaning against my lips, and I felt awfully turned on by the minute. I had did nothing but kiss her, as I was starting to feel this attachment that I've had since yesterday with her. Or the weeks ago when she woke up in the hospital bed.
While I was kissing her, I cupped her cheeks in my hands, and she had leaned in, deepening the kiss. And all I could do is just feel more badly obsessed with her, loving her was too much.
I pulled away politely. "I'd love to do this... but we're out here in the rain. And also, we have to move the bags into your mustang."
"Well since you insist, of course." She replied, and then she had got down from the hood of the car.
She had done nothing but the first thing she did was actually open up my Honda's trunk lifting it up. And I quickly ran in to grab Emma's keys to the mustang. And I returned back outside, and I had unlocked the trunk, and I had helped Emma putting our bags and suitcases in the trunk, putting in just enough that could fit in the trunk. And as of then, Emma put in her recently bought items in the backseat of the mustang. And I had ran back inside to the house and I had secured the house, I checked the alarm to make sure it was set and secured. And then I turned off every light and then I place the extra key in the plant by the front door so it would be easy for Ty and Lara Jean to find.
And then I lock the door behind me as I get out. And I run right to the mustang, and I give Emma the keys, hoping she'd like to drive. And of course, that is exactly what happens. She laughs in excitement and she gets in just I shut the trunk and I get into the passenger side. Emma gets in the driver's seat and we are stuck in the car with the pouring rain hitting on top of the hood of the car and the windshield. There's silence between us for a minute, and then she winks at me, and then the next thing I know is she turns on the car and it roars to life and she turns the headlights on.
"Let's go... to share our moments in heaven." Emma said, before she had a chance to pull out of our driveway.
"Heaven?" I repeated. "I like the sound of that. But yes, let's have our moments in heaven."
I leaned in and we kissed just before she had turned on the wipers to wipe the windshield and then slowly she started to back out, and we had our seatbelts on and ready to go. It was so quiet besides the heavy down pour of the rain. And then we had decided to just pull out and just go down the road but slowly due to the slick rain hitting the streets. So Emma took the pace to drive slowly.
On the way before getting on the highway we stopped at the gas station and then we stopped at a twenty-four hour drive through of Wingstop. We both got the collab of two banks of one a hot spice of wings and the other very mild. And we got French fries and two lemonades. And we just parked at a empty parking lot, and we talked and ate probably the best place that has wings. And once we were done, we headed right on the highway to take the two hour drive to get to Santa Maria.
~ • ~
We arrived exactly two hours and forty five minutes. The rain was still pouring down. And just as we were sitting in the car, I had seen the house just as we slowly pulled up. And the familiarity came running right back to me. And I had seen the house and the lake from a far but since it's dark it was kinda hard to see it along with the pouring rain. And the windshield is covered in the rain and the wipers just wiping side to side. So the chances were very hard to see the lake.
The entrance to this place as we were pulling in looks exactly how I remember it two years ago. Except we arrived during the day and it was not raining. Emma pulled in, and she slowly took her time and she lightly turned her headlights off. And just as we pulled up, I had heard the loud rain just pouring down on the car.
I saw the house looking like it hasn't been touched in years. It was May 2019 the last time this place was walked in. But that might not be true because I think Edward said that Rachel had guests renting it to stay in for a week and they pay like eight thousand to stay in it. So, with that being said, I'm positive that this place has security cameras and a security system set up in case of someone breaking in. So Rachel might get the check in to alert her we have arrived. But I have to call Edward and tell him we arrived anyways.
I did nothing except stare at the house, seeing it in the dark. And I see Emma actually looking in awe, while the wipers kept swishing on the windshield and the rain heavily pouring down. It was louder than thunder.
I stared at Emma, seeing her look pretty and perfect. And I just looked at her, seeing her look perfect and she had on her tennis shoes and she just looked perfect. I actually couldn't take my eyes off of her. Not even for a minute. I was quite drawn to her. Just like I have been.
"This literally looks like the gate to heaven." I sarcastically said and she got the joke almost immediately that I started to laugh.
"Yeah, to our heaven." She smiled in appreciation.
"Then take me to heaven." I laughed, still being sarcastic and she obviously found me to be hilarious.
"I'd love to take you to heaven. To bring back some old things. Memories even. I hope you can figure out what I mean." Emma had her wide smile, and I watched her bite down on her bottom lip, as if she was thinking something very serious but quite addicting.
With the rain and in a car. I'm actually catching on. And I knew exactly what she is inferring to. And quite to my dismay, she had instead opened the door. And I was shocked by what she just decided on doing. And once she got out, as it was pouring rain out. I reached over to turn the wipers off. And then I got out of the car, following right after her.
"Emma!" I called after her as I jumped forward, going to the other side of the car, finding her just standing by the driver side. "What's going on? You wanna just stand here in the pouring rain?"
I noticed her brown eyes were just gazing at me for the longest moment. And she leaned forward, and I grabbed her hand and I pulled her in and she kissed me as the rain fell on us, heavy and thick. Of course I felt super passionate. My heart hammered the hardest it ever has. And I deepened this kiss, using tongue. And with every ounce I used, especially by pulling her in by the waist, she had pushed me against the car, and she had attacked me with her lips and of course, we were stuck in this rain and her lips were attacking mine. This became so addicting that I couldn't resist her if I could.
She had basically lunged at me but I had lifted her up in my arms with her legs wrapped around my waist and her lips gently kissed my neck and I cried out a groan, becoming super vulnerable.
"W-what are we doing?" I chuckled, feeling myself getting lost in this, and her lips went further.
"I'm sorry. It's just been hours. I had to resist this for two hours." She said, her hands running in through my drenched hair. "But now I just want to have you. Because you are my always."
I had then placed her down on the hood of the car, and she had smiled, and all I thought about was actually not getting it on out here in the rain. But it was different. I had brought my lips to hers, and we kissed with the slow, sensual, dark but perfect passion kiss that had me wanting nothing but more. She had bit down on my lower lip, pulling. She had braced either sides of my face and I had kissed her, groaning for her with so much hunger.
And I could feel myself getting more and more turned on by the minute. And I had gently pushed her back on her back and I had left kisses on her neck and moving the small kisses down further. I had threw off my jacket and I actually was agreeing to do this. And I brought my lips to hers, smashing mine to hers, and we both moaned as the rain was falling down on us. And I was afraid of dying at this moment.
Emma got off the hood of the car and she took off her jacket and throwing it on the ground. The headlights were still on, and her brown hair was shining from the reflection of the lighting hitting from the trees, the house and back towards onto her hair. Our shadows were seen on the pavement. And I had stared at Emma, and she had began to unzip her romper and she pulled it down off of her. And here she was standing in front of me with just the most perfect body and my eyes gazed at her bare shoulders, to her torso and her hips and down to her feet. She stood in her bra and panties. And I just admired her as if this was my first time looking at her like this.
I felt her eyes burn into me. She walked up to me, her drenched body just walking up to me. Her hair soaked. She had reached her hands up to the back of my neck and she kissed me as if there was nothing holding her back.
"So, you want to do this... right here?" I asked her, trying to be sure this was okay.
"Yes. I want this in the rain with you. It wouldn't feel right if it was with somebody else." She whispered, her hands holding onto me tightly. "Because this is what I need right now, here with you."
I pressed my forehead against hers. "I will always need you. That's just it. I will always want you. And I will always follow you. And I'll always find you. No matter what. Because I promise to love you."
She breathed, and she gently calmed in my touch. And the next thing I do is I quickly run to the trunk that I pop open, and I dig right into my duffle and I got deep in it, and almost immediately I start with by getting to my packet of condoms and pulling one out and Emma laughs, while patiently waiting at the hood of the car. I come to her and I kiss her passionately and she pulls me in to stand between her legs. And I first run my hands up her bare thighs and I reach up to her waistband of her panties and I gently pull them down off of her. And with her being exposed, she gasps with excitement.
I get right down to her core and I first massage the tip of my finger to her clit. And she starts to breathe heavy just by my touch. I look in direct at her and her eyes are hungry filled. The rain was pouring down on us and I felt myself just realizing what exactly this might be. This is me never wishing to stop. And I had not tore my gaze away. And I had gently started to massage her clit with my index finger and just working my way slowly for her.
I had brought my finger to gently ease inside her, and she cried out and she fell back on the hood of the car, as I had just slowly begin to thrust my finger in and out of her, starting to build her up. I watched her reaction and her chest arched as I heard her thick, heavy breathing turn intense. And I had not known if this pleasure was enough. And I could only imagine the high she is at. But I didn't stop, I continued to work my way with her and still she was super tight. And I didn't let stop of feeling with my finger inside her and I then I added another finger and she went crazy with her hips circling and I went faster and then deeper with my pace.
"Fuck!" She cried in bliss, pleasure falling out of her voice, while I was being very apprehensive and I had continued my motions. And the faster I went the more wet she was.
I had brought my mouth in direct on her while I continued to thrust my fingers in and out and she was moaning out the loudest she has ever. And her breathing became very erratic.
"Yes, just like. Please don't stop." She complimented, and she was turning me on by her compliments.
I had opened her legs more for better access. And she had grabbed the back of my head while I was licking her clit, and I was turned on by how wet her clitoris is. And I had moaned on her sex, and I continued thrusting my finger inside her, she thrusted her hips down to meet with my thrusting finger. And the faster I went, the closer she would get. And I felt her so close, that I could do nothing but moan with admiration and desire of her.
I looked to see Emma with my eyes, to see her react and she had thrown her head back and I had felt her building up. And soon enough my finger went further inside her, reaching the perfect G-spot and she screamed out and almost immediately her eyes darkened, and I knew immediately that she was closer. And suddenly I felt her release around my fingers that they were soaked. She moaned so loud, that I was hungry for her.
"Oh my god, I need to have you inside me." She cried in desire, and I nodded and I had absolutely did nothing other.
She sat up and she brought her lips to mine and I had never felt this anticipated and I had kissed her with enough passion that we both moaned that the whole world was gone forever because it was just us two.
Emma turned herself around and I had opened condom out of the packet. And I had pulled my jeans down my legs and I had placed the condom on my member and then I gently eased myself inside her very slowly and she moaned the loudest she has ever made, and of course I had grabbed her by her hips to meet back with my thrusts. And she had looked back at me and I pulled her back as I kissed her with my thrusts not stopping. And I felt in this forever moment.
I made my motions very passionate. I had pulled her back and forth to meet with every thrust I made. I had eased my way into her. And I had made myself worthwhile and she had just continued to cry in pleasure. I had then threw my shirt off on the ground.
"Oh my god, Em." I whispered to her ear behind her, and I took her drenched hair, fisting it in a ponytail as I thrusted inside her, feeling how tight she was.
"Christopher, baby... you feel so good." She whined with the loudest bloody cry, but I had covered her mouth with my hand to keep her quiet so she wasn't too loud, in case neighbors heard.
I had picked up my pace and I felt myself possibly getting more turned on by the minute, and I felt like I was going to never be able to quit with this with her. Emma had lied herself forward, her palms pressed onto the hood of the car. And her head pressed onto the hood as she was taking every inch of my member. Her breathing got more erratic.
I had brought her my every exception of how I truly wanted her. And I did nothing but work my way with her as I continued to thrust inside her, and she was moving back to my thrusts. And the rain was pouring down on us and I had moaned, knowing that I was finally in her heaven. And I had done everything with passion. And she had reached back to my arm, holding onto me. And the pleasure was built up between us both.
The world had gone away. And I felt like everyone was frozen. And I just couldn't resist this place of being torn apart but I had Emma's whiny cries definitely exciting me. And I had felt the fire of passion just burning inside me. And immediately I had not resisted her, and I had still made my way working directly right into her. And she had grabbed back to my ass, and I had pressed my lips to her nape, kissing as I had been unable to prevent myself from actually building up.
"Please, I need you faster." She pleaded, and I had gently moved in and out of her.
"Just relax. I got you." I calmly said to her, and she had banged herself back to meet with my thrusts.
I had felt like nothing but having this moment last forever. And she had looked in direct back at me as I had kissed her. But I was completely lost with everything, and all I did was keep pulling back with my thrusts. And she body was covered with rain as the rain poured down on us. I had not been able to stop myself just as I started building myself up to my release and she had released around me and she came like a river and I had felt myself getting much closer.
I nodded, letting her know how close I was to my release. And I hadn't been able to prevent myself from it. I had braced my hands on her shoulders just as I had thrusted inside her very deep. And I had not stopped, hitting her G-spot. And suddenly, I had released, releasing inside her, and I had kissed her earlobe and she had collapsed down on the hood of the car, she gasped from her desire of pleasure.
I collapsed forward with her and I had tried breathing and I was stuck in this with Emma and we both tried getting control with our breathing. And once that was done, we had gotten back in our drenched clothes, and then we had brought the car in closer, and we had found the key on top of the door and then we unloaded the car and we brought our duffles inside the house and still it was raining much heavier.
Once we got inside the house we locked it. And I had turned on the lights. And the house had the same touch to it as I remember it. And I had made sure it was secured. And of course it was. Emma went into the master bedroom where she decided bringing up her luggage and duffle and as she did that I had texted Edward to let him know we arrived safely.
And then I had brought my luggage upstairs into the master bedroom and she had her duffle opened and she immediately started to unpack and put her things in the drawers, as I followed doing the same with her. And of course, I was staying with her and for forever.
After we unpacked, we both set our toothbrushes and toothpaste in the bathroom and we both started to brush our teeth and then we got in our night clothes. I decided on sleeping shirtless and in my boxer briefs. And Emma wore a small nightgown and I remember just wanting to hit the sheets and actually say goodnight to the world.
I remember us lying in the dark of the master bedroom and I had lied there in the bed with Emma lying in my arms and I remember falling asleep with her right beside me while beneath the sheets.
And we fell into our slumber.
A/N:
Hey Miners I hope you guys are doing well. I'm so sorry this update took so long. This literally took me a long time to write. But I really would like to see your comments below and give me feed back on everything. And if you did like this then please vote.
But I'm excited to give you guys more content because more is coming. And I literally cannot wait. Let me know down below what you thought about this chapter. And also predict your thoughts of what's the happen next.
#loveyourself
#staybeautiful
#treatpeoplewithkindness
#alwaysandforever
Love You Guys 💛