"Really Zayn?"
"Really what?" Zayn grunted, typing away in his MacBook.
"You usually visit him on the fourth weekend", Louis retorted, annoyance clear in his voice.
"Oh really?! I didn't know about that", Zayn rolled his eyes.
"Stop with that sarcasm you wanker."
"Then you stop bothering me!"
"Guys", Liam called, trying to be the grown-up one. "Will you stop acting like hormonal teenagers and start acting like adults who are in their early thirties?!"
"I am being the most rational one here Liam! It's you two who are being too casual about this shit!" Louis yelled, causing Zayn to look up from his precious MacBook.
"You're not being rational, you're overreacting."
"No Dr Malik, you're just being stupid."
"What is wrong with going to visit your boyfriend a week early?!"
"Are you even hearing yourself Zayn? He's your boyfriend for what? 18 months?"
"Fifteen."
"Yeah, fifteen and you've known him for eighteen months. Since you both started dating, which was fifteen months ago, you flew all the way to the other side of this country just to spend some time with him. Every month, every fourth weekend, fourteen times—"
"You've got some amazing math skills there my boy!"
"—Shut. The. Fuck. Up. And how many times did your boy make any effort to see you in the past eighteen months? Fifteen months of dating? Zero, Nada. You were the one who liked him first, you were the one who asked him out first, you were the one who confessed your love first. It was all you. What has he ever done for you other than taking everything you can give him? What did he ever give you?" At this point, Louis was just yelling.
"His love", Zayn shrugged, too casually for Louis's liking which caused him to blow up again.
"HIS LOVE?! Where's love in this Malik? Where the fuck is love here? How do you call it love when he made no efforts to prove you that? You are a fucking scientist, tell me what fucking proof you have to prove your—'he fucking loves you' —theory. Where's love here Zayn?"
"Louis", Zayn started, very calmly. "I don't know how to prove you but, he's not an experiment for me to prove you anything. I see it in his eyes every time he looks at me, I feel it on his fingertips every time he touches me. What more do I want? Red roses every day? Nope, that's not what love is to me. I love to wake up next to him every morning too, but I know what I was signing up for when I said I liked him when I wanted to date him."
"And that is? Making one-sided efforts?"
"No, absolutely not. Just because he doesn't fly all the way across the country to meet me doesn't mean he doesn't love me, Louis. When we started dating he was completing his third year and into his final year in MD. You know how crucial that year is for a medical student. How can I expect him to leave it all to come and meet me?"
"You are a Grad school Professor and a fucking scientist who has a lot more work to do than him. How many bloody experiments did you leave in the middle and went to meet him? How many thesis corrections did you leave in the middle to meet the 'the love of your life'?"
"Is this really about him not coming to meet me?"
"It is about him making zero efforts in this relationship Zayn! What did he do for you? What did he sacrifice for you? How many sleeps you've lost for him? Why are you letting people take your love for granted again and again Zayn?!"
"That's enough Louis!" Liam yelled making silence flood through their house.
"FIne", Louis said in an eerily calm voice. "You know what Zayn? Forget it. Forget everything I said. He's not an experiment to you? Well, good for you. Very good for you. But let me tell you this for the last time Malik. Don't let him treat you like some cheap funded experiment." With that, he left.
"Zayn—"
"I'll be in my room", Zayn mumbled and left for his room.
Louis is right though, Zayn knows. In a relationship, both have to make equal efforts to make it sail. He would love to take his boy to all his favourite places in San Francisco, he would love to introduce him to all his friends here. But not every dream comes true right?
Andrew, Zayn's ex-boyfriend, always tells him words that make him question his self-worth. He has never felt the love from any of his touches, he has never seen love in the way Andrew looks at him. He has never, ever felt love every time Andrew claimed he loved him. Even though the relationship lasted for only a year, he always knew it's gonna end badly. Of all the relationships he had, it was the only one that lasted for a year before his man came along.
It took Zayn two years to come out of the relationship emotionally, if not for Louis and Liam, he doesn't think he would've ever survived it. That's the irritating part about Zayn's character, when he falls in love, he falls faster and harder. In the game of love he loses first, he gives up first. He's the one who says 'fuck it' and confesses the love first.
It happens with everyone from his first crush Julie in high school to his first boyfriend Nathan in college to his next boyfriend Elias in grad school, which didn't last because both of them were too concentrated on building their career, to his next boyfriend Andrew after he became one of the talented young scientists.
With every single one of them, Zayn always makes sure he does his part well in the relationship. He makes sure he always takes time to appreciate their presence in his life but somehow it all burns to ashes in the end. At one point Zayn knew it was not his fault that these relationships went downhill, it's just that he gave them too much when they only signed up for something less. So he let them go, he let them drift away.
Now though, his Harry is different. Every time Zayn thinks he's been in love four times before Harry, Harry puts them all to shame. Because every time he looks into Harry's eyes, every time Harry touches him, he knows that's what love is. He knows whatever he felt with the other four of them is nothing compared to what he has with Harry.
To think that it all started with a wrong call.
"Malik", Zayn answered the unknown number. Someone cleared their throat on the other side of the call.
"Styles", a deep voice greeted.
"Oh-kay?" Zayn frowned in confusion as he closed the thesis paper he was going through.
"Okay?" a manly voice squealed, even though it was not as deep as before.
"Wait, who are you?" Zayn checked the number again before putting it back to his ear with a smile.
"We're the Avengers man", the voice sighed with a perfect British accent.
"Nuh-uh, Holland says it with a perfect American accent mate", Zayn chuckled with a deep British accent, something that didn't die even after all these years here in the US.
"Oh. My. God. You're British too?" the man on the other side squealed again.
"Oh, so you're British too? I thought you're awfully imitating an English accent", Zayn laughed.
"Oh, bugger off", the man laughed. "It's just too messed up after spending all these years with these Americans."
"I just love my accent too much to let it go", Zayn smiled and then frowned. "Wait who are you, really?"
The voice laughed, something too pleasant to his ears. "I'm Harry. Harry Styles? You're not Dylan right?"
"No, I'm not."
"Got that", Harry laughed.
"Mmhmm?" Zayn smiled, there was something that warms his heart. 'His laugh can kill millions', Zayn decided.
"Yeah", Harry replied in a soft voice. "It's just ... that umm ... my friend Niall ehm ... he set me up ... with umm ... a blind date? ... I don't know who it is ... He umm ... he gave his number ... and said ehmm ... his name is Dylan ... so umm ... I tried to call him ... before the date ... which is umm ... tonight. Dialled a number wrong, I guess. I don't even know why am I boring you with this but yeah, that's why I called you." His voice is so slow, smooth, deep and just so fucking calming.
"It's alright Harreh", Zayn smiled a content smile. "I guess, all the best for your date then."
"No", Harry groaned. "I don't want to go there."
"And why is that?" Zayn asked before mentally smacking himself on the head for overstepping.
Harry cleared his throat. "I just never invested myself too much into relationships, now my friend is too much worried about my bloody love life and he tried to set me up with everybody he knows in our college but nothing worked out. So now he believes it would be better if I dated someone who is not from the same field as mine and someone I don't know and that's why he set me up on this stupid fucking blind date."
"This is your first blind date?"
"Yeah"
"And you don't like it. Not even one bit."
"Yup"
"You can tell your friend about how you feel about these blind dates."
"He won't understand. He never does. I am a hopeless romantic myself but just", he sighed. "I don't know, I don't want to search for love, I want love to find me. Does that make any sense?"
"It makes perfect sense Harry", Zayn smiled.
"Thanks", Harry sighed again. "I'm so sorry for all this blabbering. For someone who doesn't like to go on dates with strangers I do talk too much to one", he laughed. "I'm sorry for disturbing you, Mr Malik."
"It's alright, Harry. I don't mind, it's not that big of a deal", Zayn smiled looking up at the stupidly plain ceiling.
"Okay", there's a smile in his voice. "Can I ask you something?"
"Go on."
"Are you, by any chance, related to Dr Zayn Malik?"
Zayn frowned, looking at the stupid ceiling. "How do you know him?"
A scoff. "You can say I'm a fan of his works. I read most of his works and I can safely say I understand most of them and they are fascinating. To be young and this talented. God!" he sighed. "Have you seen his face?! He's like some fallen angel or something. Something that's not from this planet. He's just too perfect to be real."
"Yeah exactly, I'm not real", Zayn chuckled and stopped when there was no sound from the other side.
"Zayn Malik?" Harry asked after a long pause.
"Umm ... Yeah?" Zayn smiled, a little befuddled.
A clash and someone yelling in the background. That someone might be Harry because it does sound like him. "HOLY FUCK!! AM I REALLY TALKING TO THE ZAYN MALIK?!" Harry yelled, making Zayn take his phone from his ear.
"God Harry", Zayn laughed. "Yes."
"Oh my God", he was still breathless. "Oh. My. God."
"Call me when you calm down."
"No, no, NO. I'm all calmed down. I'm fine."
"Really?" Zayn laughed.
"Yes sir", his voice firm and flirty at the same time. "Let me confirm. Tell me what's your third mouse's name in your proteomics project."
"What?" Zayn asked, confused. "How do you—"
"Come on, tell me."
"Uh", Zayn started, a little embarrassed. "Yellow Melon."
"Right!" Harry squealed. "You're really Zayn. How did I forget your voice?"
"Yes Harry", Zayn laughed. "Why that name?"
"It was the first seminar I attended of yours and I was too fucking mad when nobody laughed when you called your survived subject Yellow Melon."
"Oh come on", Zayn laughed. "What's there to laugh at?"
"It gave away how cute you really are Dr Malik!", there's that voice again, a lingering smile attached to it.
"I'm not cute", Zayn said in a mocking stern voice. "I'm grumpy."
"You're cute to me", Harry said in a voice that could melt diamonds. "A cute, grumpy professor."
"Are you flirting with me Styles?" Zayn smiled.
"No sir."
They talked and talked for the next twenty minutes about absolutely nothing relevant until Harry had to eventually hang up and get ready for his date with Dylan.
"Harreh? Are you alright?" Zayn was confused when he got a call from Harry at midnight.
"I'm sorry", his voice was too raspy. "Were you sleeping?"
"No it's just 12 am, I won't sleep that soon."
"Twelve? Oops, I forgot you're in California."
"And you're from?"
"New York."
"Cool. Fucking hell Harry, it's fucking three in the morning there!!"
"I know, Zayn. I'm sitting right in front of a clock."
"Are you kidding me, Harry? Why aren't you asleep yet?"
"This date is giving me nightmares."
"What?" Zayn frowned. "It didn't go well. Why?"
"'cause I didn't go."
A long silence.
"You stood him up."
"I did."
"Are you alright?"
"No."
"What happened, Harreh?"
"I hate myself for what I did to him, Zayn", his voice wavering like he's trying not to cry.
"Harry", Zayn sighed.
"I thought of calling him and telling him I don't wanna do this but I am too much of a coward to even do that. I just can't", and now he's in full-on sobbing mode.
"Harry stop, please", Zayn started to worry, he's not great at comforting people.
"I'm not very good with change. If it's not slow and small steps then I'm not gonna take it easy. When it was just my mates from around the campus it was just like two friends going on a friendly date but this was with someone I don't even know. I just can't Zayn. I'm sorry", he cried.
"Harry, stop. It's not me you should apologise to. Now come on babe stop crying. For me, Harry, please."
"I just feel like I should punch myself every time I look into the mirror. How could I just do that to someone?" this time the sobs aren't that violent, but it's still there.
"Listen, Harry, if you don't want to do it, then you don't want to do it. So what if you took the wrong path to do the right thing? Fix it. Fix your mess tomorrow. Call him and tell him sorry. Don't cry babe", Zayn spoke in his softest tone, something his students could never hear.
"I fucked up didn't I?" Harry asked, sniffling a little.
"No babe", Zayn sighed. "It's not actually your fault."
"I just—"
"What are you studying, Harry?" Zayn asked, trying to steer the conversation to a lighter subject. "You never told me."
"Yeah", his voice is a little calmer. "I'm in my third year of med school."
"What?! Seriously?"
"Yeah", a breathy laugh. "Why? Didn't sound like someone who could understand medicine."
"No, no", Zayn laughed. "God, no. I thought you were a science major student. Like biology and all. You know what I mean?"
"Yeah Zayn, I know. But nah, I'm gonna be a doctor soon."
"That's amazing Harry", Zayn smiled. "Which college?"
"NYU, Grossman School of Medicine."
"Cool. So one more year and you're a doctor."
"Yep!!" there's that happy voice Zayn missed.
"Where are you planning to do your residency then?"
"Harvard or Hopkins."
"First two options?"
"Just two options. I don't want anything else."
"Oh really", Zayn laughed. "That much confidence in yourself huh?"
"Yeah, don't take it wrong as overconfidence or head weight, it's just ... If I didn't believe in myself, then who will Zayn?"
"You sound like a really nice person."
"I'm a really nice person, Dr Malik."
"Aahan?"
"Mmhmm!"
"Harry", Zayn whispered, already falling asleep.
"Zayn", Harry whispered back as if their world will shatter if he spoke another decibel louder.
"Tell Niall, I will punch him on his nose if he sets you up on another stupid blind date", Zayn grumbled making Harry laugh which in turn made Zayn smile.
It was their first phone call with which they went to sleep hearing each others' breathing. The calls became frequent, it became constant until it became the reason they both come home with smiles. Every call ended with a promise of tomorrow.
One fine day their stupid harmless flirting got serious and that's how Zayn asked Harry out on a date.
"You're stupid, you know that?" Harry's voice boomed through the voice of the speaker of Zayn's phone.
"See who's talking?" Zayn laughed at Louis's bewildered face. Because Zayn Malik, laughing? Getting distracted while he's working in his lab? Nope. Never in a million years, he would ever dream of that but still, here we are.
"You know, with that laugh Zayn, you could win anyone's heart."
"Oh really?"
"Aahan", something he picked up from Zayn. "I'm still wondering how the fuck you're still single?"
"And with those dimples and those gorgeous gorgeous green eyes, you could definitely have anyone at your feet, Styles. Why are you still single?" Zayn was swooning over those dimples and green eyes since the day they started facetime and he wouldn't waste any opportunity to bring that up.
"'Cause I haven't met anyone like you still", to say Zayn was shocked would be an understatement.
"Oh but you know me but you still haven't asked me out."
"Yeah, but we still haven't met properly, you know that right?"
"Yeah", Zayn mumbled before clearing his throat. "So what do you say about us meeting on our first date babe?"
"Yes!!" Harry didn't miss a beat and Zayn can't help but sip that stupid reagent he was pipetting out.
"Zayn, that's carcinogenic!!" Louis yelled. And that's how their date was fixed.
Everything was perfect from then. Their first date, those next dates, the first time they just stayed in Harry's place instead of strolling over New York and the first time Zayn said I love you is the same time Harry said it back.
It was all perfect until Louis's doubts started to grow and he started to seed them in Zayn's mind even though he never let them grow. He isn't trying to ruin them, Zayn knows that much. Heck if it wasn't Zayn's relationship, he would say the same but the thing is, it is his relationship and he is the only one who knows how Harry looks at him.
He and Harry are the only witnesses of their love and Zayn hate it. Maybe it's not true because Harry's two best friends know about them. He lives with them so obviously, they know about them and Zayn wants to show off his love to his friends just like Harry does with his friends. Sometimes Louis's words get in his head and he struggles alone in the dark corner of his bedroom.
His insecurities got the best of him. It started when Julie chose Matt over him because he was more handsome than him. The seed of insecurity was buried deep inside him when Nathan said he should make some time for the people he loves or else relationships won't work right before their breakup. It was watered when Elias said he should be more open about his feelings else people won't stay right before their breakup.
It grew into a tree when Andrew said 'out of all the people in the world I chose you and you go and ignore me? I could've had anyone better than you Zayn, anyone more gorgeous than you, yet still you go and spend your time in your fucking laboratory! You don't make time for me, you don't show me how much you love me! Making time for the people you love is how you show them you are Zayn. But now you have to walk straight into it and ruin everything good, don't you?' right before their breakup.
With Harry, it feels like he's walking on a tightrope. He feels like he's floating on the clouds when he's with him but when he's alone he knows if he lets go of the grip, it will hurt badly. Long-distance relationships are so fucking hard. Lately, it feels like the grip is gone, he feels like he's gonna fall but he knows even if he falls Harry will be there to catch him.
He's not gonna let go anytime soon though. Maybe he made some mistakes with his old relationships but he's not gonna let it slow him down. He's gonna take it as a lesson and do better. Apparently, as a scientist, he knows you won't get the right results in the first experiment, but you should not let it deter you. Instead, you rectify your mistakes here. He knows Harry needs some more time, so if Zayn is planning to let go then he should wait for the right time so Harry can catch him.
Zayn never treated any of his relationships as experiments but he did learn to learn from them when it goes downhill. It scares Zayn a little bit because if the relationship Zayn had when he was 27 was just a failed experiment for him will it be the same for Harry? After all, they're eight years apart, Harry has his whole life ahead of him. It will be selfish of Zayn to even think of having Harry choose him over his career.
"Rough day?" Liam asked when Zayn joined them with his latte and salad. He looked at Louis who was too busy glaring at Liam's avocado toasts.
"Yeah, God the worst."
"Why? Did Dr Meredith Grey didn't call you yet?" Liam chuckled.
"No", Zayn rolled his eyes. "He didn't, but it's not about him. Just my students are being stupids like always", he replied, making Liam laugh. Zayn and his students are always a whole different story.
"Late lunch?" Liam asked, raising a brow at Zayn's salad.
"Yeah, skipped breakfast so I'm so fucking hungry."
"Skipped breakfast and late lunch at four in the evening? Really Malik?"
"Yeah well, told you, rough day", Zayn grinned going back to his salad.
"You are not gonna say anything?" Zayn knows Liam is talking to Louis.
"What should I say? He's a grown-up man who can take care of himself. He doesn't need any of us pestering him."
"Louis—"
"Zayn", Liam cut him off. "Did you get the ticket?"
"No", he sighed. "Seems like I'm only going next weekend."
"Did you talk to Harry?"
"On-call? No, it's been a week. Text? Yeah, he said good morning today morning and I said it back. That's all", he gave a pathetic shrug.
"Seriously?" Liam frowned but didn't push.
The last time they met was during Harry's graduation party and Harry was a downer because he didn't get into either of the programs he wanted and because he's stupid he didn't apply to any other programs. It bothered Zayn too much to leave Harry alone in that state but he can't do anything about it. To think maybe Harry's drifting away because he thinks this relationship could be a distraction from his career actually kills him.
There was a long, painful silence before Louis spoke again.
"Zayn", it was nothing more than a whisper. Zayn looked up from where he was frowning at his salad.
"What?" he asked looking at Louis who was busy looking at something over his shoulder.
"Harry", another barely-there whisper. Zayn turned around and froze when he spotted Harry and Niall walking toward the cafe laughing at something on their phone.
"What the hell?" Liam's voice was low and shock was written over it.
Harry was too engrossed in his phone to even look at the steps in front of him. Niall steadied him who was still laughing at something they both laughed at. Harry showed him something on his phone again which made him crack up again, Harry though doesn't seem too amazed.
Harry who's having his back on them was saying something serious when Niall noticed them first. He made the same face as Louis when he first noticed Harry. When Harry turned around to look at what Niall was looking at he probably had the same face as Zayn.
He looked paler than usual, maybe because he looked scared. Suddenly Niall started laughing, making Harry groan in annoyance. He turned around and said something to Niall as he walked backwards towards them.
"Dr Malik", Harry said as he stood in front of Zayn who was trying to stand up.
"Dr Styles", Zayn nodded and moved to stand in front of Styles.
"Sooooo... The weather?" Harry said, looking up at the sky.
"Seriously?" Zayn laughed.
"Yup! He's seriously being an idiot as always", Niall answered as he stole a baguette piece from Zayn's salad.
"What are you doing here?" Zayn asked, still debating if it was a dream.
"It was supposed to be a surprise babe", Harry rolled his eyes even though his eyes were filled with fondness.
"Surprise?"
"Yeah", Niall nodded. "Harry tried to surprise you by visiting you by tomorrow, which is your third weekend, you know you usually visit him on the fourth weekend, so he tried to do the same for you once and failed miraculously."
"Shut up", Harry pouted. "You ruined my surprise."
"I'm sorry for having a late lunch. I didn't mean to disturb you doctor", Zayn smirked. Harry narrowed his stare.
"Shut up you", he whined. "It was an amazing surprise."
"Aahan?"
"Really, it was amazing in my head and I tried to make it real and you ruined it."
"As I told you Dr Styles I was just having a late lunch. Since when is that a crime?" he smiled, taking a step closer to him.
"Late lunch?" Harry frowned. "So you skipped your breakfast again."
"No Harreh—"
"How many times have I told you to not pull this bullshit, Malik?"
"Babe—"
"Breakfast is the very essential meal of the day Zayn."
"Harry listen—"
"No, you listen. Did you or did you not promise me to never skip your breakfast?"
"I did", Zayn mumbled looking at his shoes.
"Then why did you break it?"
"I was just not hungry", Zayn shrugged, trying to act all casual and all.
"Liar", Harry retorted. "If you skip breakfast you usually skip lunch too because you're really not hungry because you're having a stressful day which I can try to understand. But, if you're having lunch this late then you got really hungry even before lunch. So you skipped breakfast 'cause you didn't have time. Why didn't you have time for breakfast?"
"Stop reading me Harreh", Zayn frowned and pouted a little. "I just woke up late."
"So you slept in late yesterday, why?" Harry frowned. "We didn't even have our late-night call session."
"I was not fucking anyone if that's what you're thinking."
"That is exactly what Harry was thinking", Niall laughed and stopped when he saw Harry's glare and left with an "I'll go get our coffees."
"I didn't say that", his frown deepened. "I trust you, you know that."
"I do babe", Zayn sighed. "It's just ... Rough week, I guess."
"Why?" Harry gave a playful smile which confused Zayn. "Because you noticed how distant I've been acting towards you the past week?"
Zayn stared at him blankly and then glared. "Are you fucking kidding me Styles? Are you telling me you did that on purpose?"
"Of course, how else would I save my secret?" Harry grinned as if he didn't give Zayn a fucking aneurysm thinking about his behaviour the past week.
"Secret? You mean this stupid surprise?"
"It's not stupid", Harry pouted. Zayn sighed.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry babe. It's not stupid, it's too fucking amazing", Zayn smiled before enveloping him in one of his 'I missed you' hugs.
"I missed you too", Harry mumbled onto his shoulder.
"I know", Zayn smiled and pulled back. "Still, you don't—"
"You don't have to do this Harreh, don't you have exams to study, mountains to tame, blah blah, I know", Harry rolled his eyes, gripping his hands.
Zayn gave him another blank stare.
"What?" Harry chuckled. "It's always you who comes to meet me, babe. Have I ever done the same? No. I never made any effort. It's been more than a year and I got severely spoiled by you always flying to come to meet me. So I got comfortable with it but I didn't forget that I've made zero efforts in this relationship—-"
"I won't call it zero."
"Yeah well minus those stupid dates, then it's zero."
"Those were not stupid—"
"After our first date which was the one you arranged, there wasn't anything romantic—"
"Who said it has to be a romantic candlelight dinner to prove your love, Harry?"
Harry just shrugged, staring afar. Over Harry's shoulder, Zayn can see Louis swallowing hard.
"You prove me in every other way", Zayn said softly as he pulled him closer. "So that's what you've been thinking all this time? How you didn't put enough effort into our relationship?"
"Yeah and you know that's true."
Zayn didn't say anything because he knows Harry can read him like a book. So he hugged him again. "I can wait, Harreh."
"I know you can, I know you will", Harry mumbled onto his clothed shoulder before pulling back. "But I had enough of that."
What? Is he trying to break up with me?
"What do you mean?" Zayn asked, trying to contain his fear.
"Harry you have to taste it", Niall said as he placed their coffees and a plate of tacos. Harry took a bite when Niall fed him.
"God! This is so fucking amazing! I could get used to it!" he said with a mouthful.
"Get used to it?" Zayn raised a brow.
"Yeah", Niall shrugged. "We were afraid the food is gonna be gross, but it's fine, good even, we can manage."
"Manage what?" Zayn asked, a little bit frustrated to be in the dark.
"You didn't tell him yet?" Niall hissed at Harry who pouted in return.
"I was going to."
"Going to what?" Zayn frowned.
"I was going to tell you", Harry frowned back before sighing heavily. "God, this whole thing is a failure."
"Babe, what's going on?" Zayn asked exasperated.
"I was going to tell you that", Harry started staring intensely into his eyes. "I got into Stanford's Residency Program."
"Sorry?" He heard him perfectly fine, but still.
"I know you heard me", Harry chuckled, getting closer. "I got into Stanford's Residency Program and we're starting from Monday."
"Next Monday?"
"Yeah."
"You said you only applied to Harvard and Hopkins."
"I lied", Harry gave a sheepish smile as he grabbed Zayn's hands. "I applied to Harvard, Hopkins and Stanford."
"And you said you didn't get into the first two programs too", Zayn raised his brow, he knew what was coming.
"I lied, again", an apologetic smile. "Sorry, but I just wanted to surprise you."
"You always wanted to go to Harvard or Hopkins."
"Yeah."
"Then why would you—"
"Fifteen", he cut him off. "I was fifteen when I dreamed of going to Harvard because everybody said it's the best for medicine and I always wanted to be the best, so since then it was my only priority."
"Yeah—"
"But you know what else is my dream?" Harry asked with a smile only reserved for Zayn. "You. I was five when I started to write down my future partner's character. There are many quirks I added and erased throughout the years and finally, when I was eighteen and set off to achieve dreams I realised that the dream man in my mind is not perfect, he has his imperfections and all but still, I liked that character. I really wished I could meet someone like that.
"It's not easy to find your one true love in this big wide world and when I finally did what made you think that I will lose you, huh?" Harry narrowed his stare with a playful smile.
"So you're telling me..." Zayn trailed off.
"Getting into Harvard was important to me, yeah but you're worth more than that to me. I won't call you my everything because you're more than that to me. I would give up my whole life for you, won't I give up on this small dream for you, hmm?" Harry smiled dopily as he let his knuckle graze at Zayn's cheekbones.
"Harry—"
"There are patients everywhere. I can be a doctor anywhere I want. It's not like only Harvard defines me as a doctor. But home? It's not everywhere. To me, home is where you are. Believe me, I'm such a homesick person."
"Huh", Niall scoffed. "You forgot to mention how lovesick you are."
"Yeah, that too", Harry grinned and frowned when he saw tears brimming in Zayn's eyes. "Babe—" Zayn didn't let him finish when he pulled him for another tight embrace he has ever felt.
"God I love you so fucking much", Zayn mumbled onto Harry's collarbone as his tears soaked his shirt.
"Yeah", Harry whispered as his long hands engulfed him and pressed a soft kiss to his temple. "I love you, right back", and Zayn could care less about his students as his sobs became a little shaky.
"You—" Zayn started before Harry cut him off with a long loving kiss on his lips. No tongue, no teeth, just love.
"I know what you're gonna say but don't say it."
"Fine", Zayn smiled and let out a not-so-manly giggle when Harry bumped his nose with his.
"Hi", Niall's voice slipped them out of their bubble. "I'm Niall, nice to meet you."
"Louis, nice to meet you too."
"Liam", Liam smiled, shaking hands with Niall before turning to look at Harry. "And it's finally good to see you, Harry Styles."
"Glad to meet you too", Harry went for a handshake and let out a yelp when Liam pulled him in for a hug.
"Hi", Harry smiled at Louis who stared at him blankly.
"Louis", Zayn called his tone a mixture of warning and concern.
"Hy", Louis whispered and then cleared his throat. "Louis", he smiled and pulled Harry into a big hug. "It's good to finally meet you Zayn's practical lifeline."
"It's good to finally meet you Zayn's partner in crime", Harry laughed with Louis.
Zayn just stood there watching the love of his life and his best friends having the time of their lives. He can do this, with all of them together, he will do this. For these four people, he will do anything. He's glad he's doing it right this time. He now knows when he falls, Harry will be there to catch him. Or maybe he already fell and he's already in Harry's arms.
Because he feels like he's already home.