I pace around the kitchen, hand around my coffee cup, wondering where the hell Eddie is. He's been gone a good hour and I managed to have a shower and put on a mini dress and some fishnets in that time. I have a baggy sweater over the top of my dress and my hair is in a messy bun.
I hear the door open and I rush to it.
Eddie walks in and looks at me with half a smile.
"Ed..." I say.
He closes the door behind him.
"Hey." He says simply.
"I'm really sorry....I honestly didn't mean to say what I said." I say, feeling so incredibly bad.
"I don't wanna talk about this now. I'm gonna stay at Stone's for a few nights. After that we got a show in Vancouver, so I won't be back for a little while." He replies. "When I get back in a couple of weeks, we can talk about it then."
My heart skips a beat. I know I should leave it but I can't.
"You're just gonna leave it this way?" I ask.
"I don't know what you want from me Case. I didn't put us in this situation..." he sighs. "I'm sorry, I just need a little time."
I can smell the weed on him. His eyes are half open so I know what he was doing out on his walk. His speech is slurred like it always is when he is high.
"What if I come with you to your show? We will have a break and then we can talk?" I suggest, gripping on to some kind of hope.
"Casey...I'll see you in two weeks." Eddie replies.
I start to feel anxious. A pit at the bottom of my stomach starts to swallow me whole as I worry that what we have is over.
"Eddie please..." I begin, with a slight crack in my voice.
He goes to the room we stay in together and pulls out a suitcase.
He begins to pack a bunch of clothes, just throwing things in without looking. He zips it up and grabs his guitar case, leaving the room.
"I'm gonna miss you" I say feeling low and helpless.
He puts his stuff down at the door and I walk closer to him, taking his hand in mine as I am nearer to him.
He takes it. Back still turned to me and with his thumb, rubs the back of my hand as our fingers are intertwined.
He brings my hand to his lips now and kisses the back of it, before bringing it back down and letting go.
He proceeds to pick up his luggage again and exits the door.
"You really need me for anything, Stone's number is on speed dial in the phone. Take care Casey." He says before closing the front door behind him.
I wipe the tears that are forming from my eyes with my hand and go to our room and lay on the bed for a while, sobbing from feeling like I lost something special.
2 hours later I'm raiding the fridge for alcohol.
I see some Bud Lights in there and I take one and open the can, almost downing the beverage in the process.
"Fuck it." I say, angry at myself for all the pain I've caused.
I feel like a mess and forget that I'm not the only one who lives here.
Jerry walks into the kitchen and looks at me with a slight smirk and some kind of confusion.
"I thought you and Ed were gonna be fucking on the counter top or something." He half laughs.
"You don't have to worry about that..." I reply.
He looks at me a little more serious now and wonders what I mean.
"You guys were all over each other..it was killing me...what happened?" He asks.
"I fucked up." I respond. "And why were we 'killing' you?"
"Oh come on Case...you haven't realised by now?" He asks, sitting on one of the bar stools.
I furrow my brows and sit beside him.
"Realised what?"
"Really? You haven't figured out how I feel about you? The moment I met you, I have been digging you. Everytime I see you and Eddie all loved up and shit, I get kinda envious of him." Jerry admits.
"What? Are you serious? But what about those groupies you bring back? There's always some super model looking lady with you." I reply.
"Well yeah, I make sure you see them to make it look like I'm not bothered by you and Ed. I felt nothing towards them, nothing like that time you and me almost kissed...before Ed swept you off your feet and claimed you." Jerry says, taking a drag of the cigarette between his fingers and blowing the smoke to the side.
I take a deep breath and look at him. His gorgeous blue eyes looking back at me.
"That's the thing. I dig you too."
His mouth parts slightly like he didn't expect me to say that.
He studies me for a moment and brings his hand to my cheek, stroking it with his thumb. His thumb moves to gently feel my lips and I kiss it seductively, before playfully sucking on it.
He loves it.
I can tell from the devilish smile on his lips.
He moves his hand away now, and I moan a sad sound, showing him I want him close to me again.
"Fuck....babe, everytime I see you I get a fucking hard on. This time I'm so hard it hurts..." he states.
"Maybe I could help with that?" I say suggestively.
I realise how awful I sound.
Hours ago I was feeling sick and terrible for how I made Eddie feel...now me and his roommate are flirting with each other, and I want to ride him so badly.
I back away realising how much of a groupie I sound. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's not me.
"Babe...what's wrong?" Jerry asks.
"Nothing...I just...I feel bad." I reply.
"Because of Ed?" He says.
I nod.
"Look, I gotta be at a party soon...want to come with? Sean is having a get together at his house and all the girlfriends are gonna be there." Jerry states.
"Including yours?" I joke.
He laughs that dirty laugh I can hear from any room.
"I don't have one...unless you wanna be my date for tonight?" He suggests.
"Fuck it. Why not." I respond. "What's the dress code?"
"You look fucking hot as you are babe." He says.
I blush slightly and my smile beams.
"God, that smile...fucking beautiful." He compliments me.
I take my baggy sweater off of my mini dress and pull my hair out of the messy bun to reveal long waves.
"Lets go." I say.
We get to Sean's place. It's a temporary apartment he has and it's quite a large area.
Jerry knocks on the door and a beautiful brunette with a black mini skirt and flowing top answers the door.
"Hey Jer!" She says "annnd?"
"Hey Trinny!....This is Casey, Casey this is Trinny. Layne's better half." Jerry says introducing us.
"Casey! I have heard so much about you! Cantrell won't shut up about you." She blurts out and giggles.
I smile in response.
"Really now?"
Jerry puts his hand to his face in embarrassment.
I giggle and Trinny hooks her arm through mine.
"Come in!" She says.
She drags me into the apartment, with Jerry following.
I like Trinny. She seems really outgoing and really friendly.
"Layne, babe!" She says, now unlinking our arms.
"This is Casey!! You know the one Jerry gushes about." Trinny says, knowing how embarrassed Jerry is, but obviously finding it funny.
Layne looks over and smiles.
"I'm Layne...Nice to meet you Casey. I haven't seen Jerry that red in...well...ever." He says looking to Jerry.
"Okay, okay..are we done with 'let's tear Jerry apart' day?" Jerry comments with a smirk.
"Never" Layne jokes.
A few hours in and Layne and Trinny are making out on the couch...they should probably get a room but they don't care much.
Me and Jerry are sitting at the table playing blackjack with Sean and Mike.
I feel Jerry squeeze my thigh under the table. He's probably had a few too many pints, but then so have I.
"We'll probably head off soon..." Jerry states.
"Ahhh he's got the fuck bug" Sean comments.
"What?! No! It's just been a long day." Jerry replies.
"That's never stopped you before, bud." Mike adds.
"Come on Mike...it's because he has a hottie on his arm...that's the only thing that Jerry Cantrell will go home for." Sean replies.
I giggle.
"Yeah well we are just here as friends and I'm pretty tired from a very stressful day."
"Yeah, I wanna make sure she gets home okay." Jerry adds.
"Okay, but on your way out, you wanna throw Layne and Trinny in the guestroom? I think Layne found her sweet spot." Sean says about the moaning coming from the two love birds.
"Sorry Sean, that's your problem now." Jerry says, now getting up.
I too stand and we say goodbye to everyone.
Half hour later and we are back at the Curtis's and in the basement where Jerry stays.
"It's nice down here..." I say, looking around.
"It'll do until I can get my own place." He replies.
I sit on his bed and he sits next to me.
He moves some of my hair behind my ear and moves closer to my neck, gently kissing it and nibbling at it.
"Uh..." I moan at his touch.
"You like that?" Jerry asks.
"Fuck yes." I say. I'm wet just as he kisses my sweet spot.
The things this man does to me...and I'm not stopping him.
I turn to face him and our lips crash together. We've wanted this for so long and finally we have it.
My hands are buried in his perfect golden hair as he places a hand at the small of my back and the other holding and caressing my cheek.
"Jerry..." I begin.
"Yeah babe..." he responds between kisses.
"Fuck me...please?" I beg.
"I fully intend to." He says.