It was all Buck's fault. That's all there was to it. It was entirely, completely, 100% Buck's fault that Jane was left to sooth a group of angry parents and crying, disillusioned children. It was all Buck's fault and for just one moment, Jane wanted to kill him. The woman didn't have a homicidal bone in her body (most of the time) so it had to have been one heck of an exacerbating factor that sparked the murderous rage that overcame her for just that split second.
"I promise he's just a bit silly," Jane was telling a beautiful little girl named Janelle with umber skin and two curly pigtails on her head. The small child, who could have been no older than six, was shaking with how hard she was crying. Her belief in magic shattered. "Don't pay him any mind. None of us do."
The child's mother, a woman who was fueled with righteous anger, was not going to allow herself to be soothed either. Looking at her red-rimmed and bloodshot eyes, signs from her previous encounter with another manic holiday shopping mother who had pepper sprayed at least five other parents and a department store Santa Clause in front of a half dozen children. Admittedly, the woman had every right to be furious, Jane would be if she were in the woman's shoes. Still, she gave her most cherubic smile and did her best to sooth.
And she would have soothed them. If Buck hadn't opened his mouth. A second time.
But Buck had talked, and Jane was trying not to get herself killed by the mob of Christmas parents. At the same time, she was trying not to think up ways to kill her best friend. But Evan Buckley. Just. Kept. Talking.
See, it all started over a duck. According to the brief they received from dispatch, a mother had gone to this strip mall after the most sought-after Christmas toy of the season, a dancing duck. Apparently, a fight broke out over the last duck, and in the chaos, a mother had pulled out pepper spray. Santa got hit with the most concentrated stuff when he'd approached to get her to put the stuff down. Yeah. Things got ugly and before they'd even gotten there, Bobby had told Jane to work parent and kid control as they worked to give them all first aid.
Jane had agreed and that was that. Santa, unfortunately, had to be loaded onto a stretcher though, but it could have been worse. He'd be back at it in time for Christmas, even if his eyes would be irritated for days.
The chaos of the call was something else though. Jane worked to cheer the kids up, all of them distressed at their parents being hurt, passing out candy canes, complimenting t-shirts, and asking what they wanted for Christmas. She was playing elf, as she did during their toy drives, thriving off of the positive energy she gained from making children smile. She was doing a decent job at distracting them from the injury of the most mythical figure in their young lives being taken to the hospital.
Behind her, a beat cop was carrying out the toy of the hour and putting it in a plastic bag, while Athena had a redheaded mom with glasses and a pink sweater in handcuffs. She didn't look like a Santa attacker, but you never could tell these days, Jane supposed. The holiday season had the power to take it out of the most rational of people.
"Thank you," the woman who was on her way to prison gushed to Athena, her voice embarrassed and desperate, but relieved. She seemed to be under the impression that at the conclusion of it all, she'd still nabbed that gizmo. "Thank you so much for saving that. I mean at least if I have to go to jail, I'm leaving with what I came for."
"Sorry," Athena broke the news, not sounding sorry in the least as she began to push her towards her car, "but that toy is going into evidence."
"What?" Her hysterical voice broke, and then muffled as the door to the police car was shut firmly in her face.
Near the entrance, Bobby, Hen, and Buck were working on Santa Clause, wheeling him into an ambulance just to be sure as he'd been hit the worst. Jane and the kids were just a bit removed from them. Most of the parents had been treated and were now just waiting to finish giving statements to the other police officers on the scene.
"Sir. This burning is going to go away. It's just going to take a couple of hours," Bobby explained reassuringly to the old man with the white beard.
"Long before you need to be back in the North Pole," Buck quipped humorously, causing even Bobby to grin at him.
See, Buck could be funny. He really could be. He had a good heart and earnest intentions. But sometimes he just needed to stop while he was ahead. Because that moment was where it all went wrong.
Jane was doing great. She'd played one enthusiastic game of duck-duck-goose while they all waited for the parents to be treated for their burns, and she'd kept them from interfering to much as Bobby and the team had to lift Santa, who was almost hysterical in pain at first before they could clean out his eyes. Still, this call was moving forward as smoothly as could have been expected. Then, this poor little boy, who Jane had learned was named Cody, wasn't going to be distracted with Jane's cheer, asked the question that all the little boys and girls probably feared as they saw the jolly man in a red suit on a gurney.
"Is Santa Clause going to die?" his pitiful little voice pulled at the heartstrings of every adult's heart.
"Oh, hey. No. No. No." Buck rushed to reassure. He shouldn't have. He really shouldn't have. "Of course not, and don't you worry." He really shouldn't have. But Evan Buckley, in his earnest attempt to sooth the child, did the worst thing imaginable. "He's not really Santa Clause."
"BUCK." Jane's eyes went huge as she tried to put herself between the children and him, as if to shield them from Buck's mouth. From his blasphemy.
"He's not real?" Janelle, the little girl who stood next to the boy asked. Her pigtails and high-pitched wail of betrayal making the scene that much more tragic.
"No, no, sweetie," Buck kept talking even as Jane was frantically shaking her head and making every known hand gesture that indicated that he should shut up. "He's just pretend."
"Santa's pretend?" Cody was crying now. And Evan Buckley made like the Energizer bunny and kept going and going and going.
"That's right," the blond man answered the little boy, as if he'd not just dropped a major bomb, as if he'd fixed the problem, not realizing what he'd said at all.
Then, the little girl's mother, one who had red around her eyes as she was one of the pepper spray victims stormed up to the younger blonde firefighter, and there was nothing Jane could do to save him. In fact, she didn't even try to step between her and Buck. Jane valued her life too much. Instead, she finished passing out the candy canes and exchanged wide-eyed looks with Eddie, wondering how the hell they'd manage to get their friend back to the fire house if he was ripped in pieces.
"Did you just tell my kid Santa isn't real?!"
"Mm-hmm." the little girl cried.
Thus, leading right up to the moment where Jane began to reassure the girl. Telling Janelle that Buck was someone you didn't want to listen to all the time. She tried, even as Buck dug his own grave.
"Uh," they all watched as the horror dawned in the eyes of the one who was once known as Evan Buckley but would now be known as the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. "No. No. I was- I was just uh- explaining that this Santa isn't Santa."
Cody began to violently sob his heart out. This was worse than the time Buck destroyed a couple's wedding cake by tripping over the oxygen monitor of the bride's ninety-year-old grandmother. Worse than the time he cursed out a car coming out of traffic before realizing it was being driven by a geriatric nun. Worse than the time he'd told Chimney a 'your momma' joke moments before realizing that his coworker's mother had died of cancer. Worse than the time he told Jane that he'd eaten the last burrito in the freezer. It was just worse.
"Hey, Cody, what's the matter?" the soothing voice of the boy's father asked as he came over from being treated, another victim of the Pepper spray duck lady.
"Santa Clause isn't real."
"I think it's time for us to go, don't you?" Jane looked at Bobby pleadingly. Surely, he couldn't expect her to fix a holiday tragedy of this magnitude. She was an elf and her magical holiday powers couldn't withstand bombshell throwing Buck.
"Yeah. Move out."
But before they could move, Jane found her arm grabbed by a desperate little girl who begged Jane to tell her that what the man said wasn't true. That Santa Clause was real. That her hopes and dreams didn't incinerate before her in flames and careless words Evan Buckley just had to say.
And Jane did her best. She really did.
And all the while she cursed her friend to a lifetime of cleaning the bathrooms at the firehouse.
And that was just their first call of the day.
...............
Jane's first Christmas present for Eddie and Christopher was being delivered early that year. Well, to be more specific, it was more like she was delivering them to the present. Her excitement over their future reaction was nearly overwhelming, and she just hoped that Eddie would take it the right way. She was putting herself out there, and she just hoped that he would accept the present as she meant it and not in a way that would make it seem that she was reliving things they'd worked out together.
It had been a sucky year. So much pain and suffering for them all had cumulated into this giant wreck of a year, and honestly, it was becoming difficult to feel the holiday cheer. But Jane, ever the enthusiast elf-assistant, she was determined to put on a cheerful face and celebrate this holiday. As difficult as the year had been, there was so much to be grateful for. So much was found in what had been lost. She wasn't going to take that for granted, even if the usual festivities sounded a bit too exhausting.
So, on that cool December morning, she was bouncing on the balls of her feet, anxious to show them what she'd arranged. Jane felt as if she'd drunk three cups of coffee, even though she'd barely managed to finish her cup of tea that morning. She was running on pure nerves and excitement even as she straightened out her Taylor Swift 1989 t-shirt and pulled up the baggy sweatpants she was wearing. It was going to be their first Christmas as a couple, and she just wanted it to go well. Especially since he'd been so great as she'd navigated her first-time celebrating Hanukkah.
So, she stood on his doorstep, and seconds before she knocked, that dratted piece of hair got in the way again. She sighed, pushing the strand irritably back into the bobby pin she'd stuffed it in four times already that morning. She then proceeded to knock to the tune of "Up on the Housetop" and had officially started to hum it to herself under her breath as she heard Eddie's heavy footsteps slowly come to the door.
"Come on!" Jane ordered; the moment Eddie's face was in view. Before he could say anything, she greeted him with a peck on his lips, rendering him momentarily senseless as he tasted her familiar cucumber mint ChapStick. But, before he could reciprocate the greeting, his lips met the empty cold winter air. "You and Christopher are going to put on your workout clothes and then you're both coming with me. I'm driving because it's a surprise!"
"Jane-" he began once he'd registered what had happened, but she had already barged in.
Jane gave Chris a hug where he was sitting on the sofa watching cartoons, and the boy was grinning like a maniac as she urged him to go get dressed. He didn't hesitate to follow her instructions, trusting that anything that made her this excited would be amazing. Then she made a beeline for Eddie's bedroom, not at all distracted by the fact that he'd answered the door in a white tank and boxers. She didn't allow her eyes to linger on his mussed hair and his face still flushed and indented from his pillow. Well maybe she did get a bit distracted by how handsome he looked first thing in the morning, and MAYBE she felt the stirrings of desire pool in her stomach, but she was NOT distracted enough to forget her mission.
Therefore, she came into his room and pulled out his favorite workout outfit, black sweats and the black sleeveless shirt. Having been over multiple times while he'd put away his laundry, she knew exactly where it was assuming it'd be clean. She was glad to see that it was.
Eddie, still a bit confused, stared at the empty doorway out into his yard for a full minute before shaking himself out of his stupor. He let out a small laugh before he followed the love of his life into the back bedroom. There he found her, already placing his clothes on the now made bed that had been rumpled three minutes ago when he'd rolled himself out of it. He and Chris had been planning to start their morning a bit later, but it appeared that Jane had other ideas.
"So, are you going to give me any hints about where you plan on taking us, or are you just going to keep bouncing on your feet like an overcaffeinated elf?" his voice was husky from sleep, but was full of amusement and affection.
She turned around, lips quirked momentarily before she grunted in frustration when that bobby pin came loose again, and the hair fell back into her face. With a squeak of annoyance, she jutted out her lower lip and blew air up, as if hoping that would fix the problem. Eddie bit his lip to hide his laugh when the piece of hair fell right back into her face.
Adorable, the ruggedly handsome ex-soldier thought to himself. She's so cute.
Unable to help himself, Eddie crossed the room to her in just a few strides. Jane startled when she realized that he'd come up when she wasn't paying attention and stumbled a bit. She just caught her balance by putting a hand on his chest, which turned out to be a bad idea. Their proximity and the feel of his muscles shifting under the softness of the thin cotton almost made her knees give out. Then Eddie made his move, steadying her with two hands on her hips, a familiar gesture that no longer scared her but never lost its significance. Heat rose to her cheeks. Jane stood still as her boyfriend ever so gently raised his right hand from her hip and brought it up to the errant hair that had started this mess. He gripped the strand between his large fingers, held it for a moment to marvel at how soft it was, then tucked it gently behind her ear.
Jane, overwhelmed by HIM, swore her heart stopped when he leaned down and brought their mouths together for the second time that morning. This time, Eddie took charge, relishing the taste of her and taking his time as he was thorough in his declaration. Hi. It's good to see you. Good morning, beautiful. All of this was said without words. His lip came to hers not to dominate or conquer, but to meet in greeting. To show her how much he adored her and the fact that she'd stormed into his house excited for giving him and his son a surprise. Eddie didn't always have the words, but sometimes he didn't need them. And whenever he didn't use words, well that never failed to leave her devoid of speech or great thought. At least not right after.
"So," his words caught her by surprise, as she blinked up at him absently, lips tingling, "will you tell me where we are going?"
She shook her head, grasp onto the last thing he said and process it and put out words. That was what she was supposed to do right? She didn't know. She didn't know anything when he kissed her like that. She looked so dazed, that the man couldn't help it. He kissed her again. Just because. The feel of his scruff did dazzling things against her soft skin as his lips moved from hers. She would have spoken up then in objection at their retreat, but his lips moved lower on her neck. When his mouth reached the spot just behind her ear where her head met her neck, her knees did give out. But Eddie, not to be deterred, caught her without stopping.
"What do you think?" She'd meant the words to be sassy, but with how breathless she was, it came out more earnestly than the rhetorical inflection she'd intended. He laughed lightly against her neck, the vibration sending goosebumps down her spine and certain feelings elsewhere.
God. If he hadn't still been holding onto her, she'd have melted into a puddle on the floor. She wanted more. She wanted to touch him the way he touched her. She wanted her lips to mark him the way he marked her. She wanted to lose herself in him and find herself again. And yet, she knew that a few extra kisses were as far as they were going to go.
She just had to go for it. As often as they were together, as often as they slept in each other's arms, the couple hadn't had sex since that first night together. More than that though, Jane continued letting her nerves distract her. What if they slept together and it was bad? An absurd thought if they way they kissed was an indication of how drawn they were together. An even more ridiculous thought when she remembered multiple rounds in a hotel room that still left her flushed and aching when she thought about them.
Still, this was Eddie, her best friend and a man she was so crazy over, that she lost her senses. He made everything so easy and relaxed between them. The minute she got into her own head, he took her out of it and made it all make sense. And yet, this was EDDIE, and if something went wrong between them, she didn't know how she'd ever recover. And still, THIS WAS EDDIE.
It was the most irrational thought in the world, but what if she froze? She was so much better, but what if she froze with Eddie? She'd never done so before. She was still as aware of him as she ever was. But this wasn't just a stranger encounter. It wasn't a one-night stand. This was, she thought in her deepest heart of hearts, her forever. So, they hadn't gone there again. Yet. So, despite wanting more, neither pushed it, although the tension was building. As demonstrated by the fact that a simple good morning kiss had become some intense foreplay.
Besides, when they got into situations such as these, it wasn't always that doubt that stopped them. In fact, Jane forgot most of her worries when Eddie had his lips on her. No. Their lack of sex was due to a multitude of reasons. Frequently, the reasons went by the names of Christopher and Buck, one a child and the other Eddie's son and an actual child, both of whom had impeccable timing. Case in point, the knock at the door. The sound caused Eddie to lift his head from where it had been inching its way down her neckline.
Jane was pleased that his eyes looked just as glazed over as hers likely did.
"Dad! Jane! I'm dressed!" Christopher's innocent voice was excited, and it served as cool water between Jane and Eddie's rising heat.
"Did you brush your teeth yet bud?" Eddie called, shaking his head even as his hands were still firmly holding Jane's hips, keeping her body flushed against his own.
There was a prolonged silence before the little boy finally responded, "Uh...not yet?"
"Brush your teeth buddy! We'll be out in a minute."
Just because she had too, Jane couldn't let the moment go by without saying something.
"I'm certainly glad someone brushed their teeth first thing this morning."
"I just finished when you knocked. I've only been awake for like, a second."
"Hmmmm," she hummed gently, "Sleepy is a good look on you, you know that?"
"Yeah?" His grin was devilish. "So, does that mean I could persuade you to abandon this escapade in favor of naptime?"
"What do you think?" She raised an eyebrow and teasingly stepped backwards.
"I think you are a vault when it comes to surprises, so I should probably get dressed."
"Good idea." She blinked three more times as she backed another step away from the warmth that lingered between them, but she didn't leave.
"I'm supposed to wear this?" Eddie asked, looking down at the bed. Cold had begun to sit where the heat had been, but Jane momentarily flushed as she thought about giving up and tackling her boyfriend to the bed. However, the young woman shook herself, using the distance to refocus on her mission. Remembering that Christopher was in the next room, she clapped twice to break the moment up and get back to her plan.
"Put them on and let's go! If you don't hurry, we'll be late!"
"I'm ready Jane!" Chris came in excitedly, wearing a t-shirt and comfortable sweats. She was so glad that he hadn't barged in the last time. "Is this good?"
"You look great buddy! Perfect and comfortable! I can't wait for you to see my surprise!"
He threw himself into her side, despite being much taller than he'd been just last year, he still treasured these moments of closeness, remaining a kid just a bit longer. She had no problem hugging him back.
"Me neither!" He turned to his dad. "Dude why aren't you dressed yet, she said to hurry?"
Eddie gave a laugh, as he took in his two favorite people in the world. Life was so good to him sometimes. "Yeah. Sorry. I'll hurry."
"Great!" Jane released Chris and clapped two more times. "We'll be in the car Eddie, and you better hurry or else the smoothies will melt!" Yeah. Like she had room to talk about anything melting that morning.
"YES! SMOOTHIES!" Chris cheered as they made their way down the hall and out the door. "MOVE IT DAD!"
The smoothies might have melted a bit, but they were completely gone by the time Jane pulled the boys in front of their chosen destination about thirty minutes later after battling the heavy Holiday traffic of LA. Twenty-five minutes into the ride, Jane had ordered Eddie to put on a blindfold. He'd have refused if she hadn't looked so excited.
Eddie would never, ever forgive himself if he became one more person who let her down by taking away her joy. She was so excited to surprise him that it emanated off of her, so he stopped his argument in its tracks and put on the damned blindfold. Chris, in the back, had been spared the blindfold on the promise that he wouldn't tell where they were. He'd been all too eager to comply. Chris loved the idea of knowing something his dad didn't.
When she pulled into the parking lot and helped her boys out of the car, Jane giggled with pure happiness. Chris looked the sign over the building they were headed into and let out an excited, "REALLY?! THIS IS SO COOL JANE!"
She knew that Eddie wouldn't be quite so demonstrative. This gift was something for all of them. It was also a big gesture on her part. After the issue with Eddie fighting, he'd been doing a bit better about opening up. More importantly, he'd been putting in the work to communicate with her about his feelings. Such a gesture did not go unnoticed or unappreciated, and she'd let him know as much. They were in the best place they'd ever been with each other.
Still, she'd felt that despite his best efforts, he still hadn't found that outlet he needed. After that talk, and knowing that Eddie was a person who liked to release his problems in a physical way, she'd had no problem deciding on an appropriate Christmas gift for him and Christopher. She just wanted to show him the acceptance that he'd shown her.
Eddie was startled when they'd walked through a door and in the darkness behind the blindfold, he could smell the distinct scents of rubber mats and sweat. Then, Jane's hands removed the blindfold, and they were standing in the middle of a large, padded gym. In front of him was a shorter man in his mid-forties. While he was balding towards the top of his head, he had a full dark beard. The man stood with his feet apart and arms crossed in front of his chest. While he had a rather bland expression on his face, Eddie noticed a smile edging on his lips as he took in Jane and Christopher. His obvious softness towards them endeared Eddie to the man almost instantly.
Jane, an anxious smile on her face, tentatively, slid her arm through his and escorted him closer to the stocky man. "Eddie, this is E. J. or Edward John Jr., and now that his dad has officially retired, he runs this place," Jane smiled over at the older man, who gave a small smile in return. "He's also the one who taught me self-defense awhile back."
"One of my best students," he nodded in her direction. "So, Jane tells me that you are both interested in trying some MMA?"
"Well," Jane turned up Eddie, eyebrows raised in expectation. "Are we interested?"
For a moment, Eddie was struck speechless. He hadn't known what he'd been expecting that morning but this was not it. "This? This is the surprise?"
She nodded anxiously, looking in his eyes for any bit of hesitation or worse...anger. Had she gone too far?
But before she could doubt herself, he broke into a big, blinding smile and turned towards the man.
"Yeah," he nodded. "We are absolutely interested."
"Great," he smiled back. "Let's go."
After an hour of punching people, with protective padding on, Eddie felt a lot better. Much better than he had in the underground ring, because this type of release didn't come with the guilt. It came with the sounds of his son and Jane giggling in the far corner of the room, taking turns hitting the punching bag. It came with EJ, who Eddie really liked, offering for him to come by anytime they didn't have a class to let off steam. It came with relief.
But it also came with shame, because it showed how wrong he'd been. Jane wouldn't have pushed him into getting the help that she'd thought he would need. She'd found out what he was doing, found out what release he thought would help, and she helped him find a better way to do it. She found it in a way that was safe for him and anyone else who was around. It wasn't nearly as lucrative, but the odds of him nearly killing a man were almost none.
He was such a fucking asshole, and he knew it.
"This," he told Jane smiling as the trio exited the building two hours later, "was the best present I've ever gotten."
"Good. So, do you think you'll come back here? After the four other lessons we get?"
"I mean," he smirked down at her, "I wouldn't mind coming back, if you came with me."
"Of course," she grinned up at him, tucked firmly into his side where she belonged. "I'm just glad that you seemed to go along with this. When we got out of the car, I started to rethink the whole thing. I thought that I might have pushed you too far."
"No. You just proved, again, that you know me better than I know myself sometimes." He kissed her nose, which had already started to turn just a bit red in the uncharacteristically cold California air. "Merry Christmas."
Jane smiled wider. Maybe, despite the stress of the year, it would be a Merry Christmas.
............
"So it says," Jane murmured, head down and reading her phone, "for a nice snowy effect, we can sprinkle coconut flakes on the roof."
"Well, we'll need to be careful about that. If we add too much then the whole thing could collapse," Buck looked doubtfully at the mini homes they'd struggled to construct.
"And some people have a heavy hand," Denny gave Buck the stink eye, which Jane glanced up just in time to catch. She snorted down a snicker.
"We need snow," Chris spoke up decidedly. "So we'll need to add the coconut."
Denny nodded wisely, like a commander who'd just been given a report, before he turned to his favorite babysitter. "Jane, can we depend on you?"
"I got this," she nodded, amazed that she'd managed to keep the smile from her face. It wouldn't go well if the boys thought she was patronizing them, especially when she just wanted to giggle at how much joy they gave her.
Building gingerbread houses involved a lot of planning and design. More planning and design than Eddie had realized once he'd overheard the elaborate discussions going on between Jane, Christopher, and Buck. They were debating the capabilities of different types of icings and whether or not Jellybeans or Redhots would be better for the ornaments on the Rice Crispy tree. Recognizing that he was in over his head, Eddie simply bought the supplies and offered up his home for the project. Jane and Buck took his aid to heart, and had planned an elaborate building worthy of the greatest architects.
If in the end, all of the houses looked just a bit lopsided because every time Jane had it just right, Chris, Buck, or Denny would accidentally bump the table. Tensions had risen and a revolt was brewing. Still, this group needed fun. Jane and Eddie were still aching from breaking it to Christopher that they wouldn't be able to spend that Christmas together. It had broken their hearts, and seeing Christopher's obvious disappointment caused Jane to start tearing up the moment he wasn't looking.
So, they would celebrate. They would have fun while they could. They'd treasure their time together, and just hope that it'd be enough. That's why Hen, Buck, and Denny were invited over. In the end, it was Jane and Buck with Chris and Denny building houses in the living room on the coffee table while Eddie and Hen watched on from the dining table, sipping coffee.
"Oh, it got ugly," Eddie assured Hen, his voice gruff after describing the awful scene from two days before. "After I said that Jane and I had to work on Christmas, he went straight to his room and wouldn't speak to us for the rest of the night. Jane didn't cry but I know it hurt her. She and Chris are usually so close, and this might actually be the first time he's ever been mad at her."
Hen hummed in understanding, "It's just new, he'll get over it."
"We celebrated Hannukah with Jane's family, and we're spending the afternoon of Christmas Eve with Abuela and Pepa's family. Shannon and Max are going to pick him up and then they plan to drive out to see Max's sisters and their kids for Christmas. He's going to have a great time. He just- last Christmas was the first time we were all together, and this year...I think he just wants that reassurance after all that's happened that we're all still here, even if at times it felt like we wouldn't make it."
"Uh huh. So, is that why you invited us all here?" Hen asked, taking another sip of coffee. "Trying to cram in as much Christmas cheer between now and then?"
"Well," he smiled, "thought it'd be nice to bring the boys together for a playdate."
"Yeah," Hen laughed, "all three of them and one slightly more deflated than usual Christmas elf? What's going on with Jane? You both seem good, but she's just not as bouncy as usual."
"Yeah, I think with the year we've had, it's even begun to hit Jane. I mean, this year alone, she was blown up, caught in a tsunami, had to face...HIM," he growled the word out, "in court. And...and while we're good now...better than ever even...that time apart was painful. For the both of us."
"I can only imagine," Hen breathed, looking over at the cheerful group on the floor and then back to Eddie. "She puts on a brave face, you both do. Still, I wish you'd have told us about that, you know, before you got back together."
"And have you all pick sides?" Eddie snorted, "Okay. That was a joke. I meant, and have you all lecture me about what an ass I was to Jane and follow through on your threats of maiming?"
Hen let out a startled laugh, "Not exactly. All of us know that the two of you are it for each other. We'd have just been on the sidelines pushing you both to realize that."
Before Eddie could respond to that, the oven beeped, and Jane hopped up from her spot on the floor to get it. Jane was getting in some of her annual holiday baking done, taking advantage of Eddie's full-sized oven, and going for double batches of some of their favorites. She was giving a lot away as gifts that year.
On her way to the kitchen, she stopped just before Eddie, gave him a quick peck on the lips, winked at Hen, and ran off with a half-laugh before he could move.
Eddie sighed again, despite the smile that he couldn't help edging his lips, there was a sadness there. "Both of the people I love most in the world are struggling and I'm just trying to figure out how to make this the best holiday possible for the two of them. I have my work cut out for me too, since there's no way I'll be able to top Jane's gift."
"Well, from the looks of it, you're doing a pretty great job. I know there might be bleak moments, but this," Hen waived her hand to encompass the group, and both smiled at the sound of Jane's laughter in the kitchen as Denny had just come in to retrieve more gunny bears and run off with three hot cookies for the table. "I've never seen her so happy, Eddie. Never."
"Who's ready for more cement?" Buck asked the two boys sitting in front of him, stirring the frosting.
"Me! Me!" Both of them eagerly replied. Denny and Chris were both on the verge of bouncing off the walls with how much sugar they'd consumed that afternoon on top of the cookies they'd just consumed.
"Denny, we will do you first. Get this big ole' piece." Buck went to work on using icing to glue together their gingerbread walls. In the end, they'd taken the houses apart, iced them, added the snow, and now they were building them back up again.
"Buck...do you have to work too?" Chris's question was unexpected, and caused Buck to feel guilty. He didn't like disappointing Christopher. None of them did.
"Yeah, sorry buddy. I have to spend Christmas with your dad and Jane."
"Stupid work." Chris's voice, which had been happy just moments before, now echoed with bitter disappointment. So, Buck got the boys
"I promise you," Hen reassured Eddie, "he'll forget he was even mad by New Years."
Buck stood up and went over to Hen and Eddie at the table. Needing a break.
"Is it just me or does Christmas suck this year?" the blonde asked, his voice bitter.
"Definitely not just you." Eddie sighed.
"It's been a rough year, for everyone. So, I'm happy to immerse myself in the magic of Christmas, and I just look forward to putting this year behind me," Hen announced optimistically.
"I wouldn't be surprised if there's one more smack in the face to come." Buck was less than convinced. That year had been full of blow after blow after blow.
Jane came in just in time to hear Christopher's words and her heart ached a bit. But she plastered a smile on and instead of joining Eddie, Buck, and Hen, she went back to sit next to two of her favorite boys on the floor. She pulled Christopher into a side hug, half worried that he'd rebuke her touch, but, fortunately he wasn't that mad. He allowed himself to be soothed, which soothed her. She didn't want to be clingy, she really didn't, but the idea that she'd disappointed Christopher actually killed her a little bit.
"You're going to have a wonderful Christmas," she murmured into his hair. "You have all those new cousins to play with, and your Mom is so excited to have you."
"You and dad aren't going to be with me though," Christopher whispered sadly. "I love Mom and Max, but last year...everyone was there. It was the perfect Christmas. I just wish it could be like that every year."
Her heart cracked. "I do too Chrispher. I do too."
.................
When the 118 was called to LAX a few days later, Jane mentally braced herself for the worst. According to dispatch, a luggage handler had been sucked into the engine of the plane and was somehow still alive. Such a thing was nothing short of a Christmas miracle, and she worried that is where the luck would end. Fortunately, this rescue was one for the record books, to be recounted many years to come for the sheer luck that befell this stranger to live another day.
Because, despite the groans of pain, despite being sucked into the spinning wheels of a plane engine, the man seemed to be perfectly intact. He was in one piece. He was going to be perfectly well in just a few days.
The crowds applauded as the man emerged from the engine, moving and talking, and the 118 put him on the stretcher.
"This is unbelievable." Chim exclaimed.
"Nothing appears to be broken," Hen was astonished.
"What stopped the compressor?" the airline official asked, knowing that was the only possible explanation.
"Looks like these got sucked in first," Buck hollered from where he maneuvered by the plane, pulling out a mutilated set of golf clubs from the turbine. "Locked up the blades."
They were all laughing in astonishment, when Jane startled at Bobby's face. His nose had started bleeding. A disturbing sight, since he'd just been in the hospital following a call to a radioactive chemical spill.
"Uh, Cap?" Buck pointed, and in shock, Bobby wiped at the blood. Even he couldn't keep the worry from his eyes at the unexpected sight.
But Bobby was Bobby. He iced them out, brushing their worried questions aside until he had no other choice.
"It was just a nosebleed," Bobby assured Buck and Jane when they got back to the firehouse. The two blondes cornered him the moment they caught him alone. No one else was going to push him to talk. But Buck was worried, and since they were still awaiting the results of his tests from their call weeks ago when Bobby was exposed to excessive amounts of radioactive material, they were concerned for their Captain. Jane, while worried to the depths of her heart, was merely there to ensure that Buck didn't push too hard.
Seeing that the firefighters weren't moved by his first excuse Bobby continued.
"Could've been allergies. Could've been the Santa Anas. Could've been how cold it was out there on that tarmac." All of those were reasonable answers, Jane could admit, but those excuses did nothing to sooth their fears. Not really.
"Was this your first nosebleed?" Buck asked, merely warming up, before exploding into other questions. "Have your gums been bleeding? Do you have a rash anywhere that I can't see?"
"What are you doing? Are you diagnosing me?" He asked ironically.
"Just a little bit," Jane admitted. "I may or may not have been checking on you every other hour when you sleep."
Bobby raised his eyebrows, "Really Jane? You too?" He used the same tone as if to say, 'Et tu, Brute?'
"It's because we love you," she smiled sheepishly, knowing that Bobby really wasn't mad at them. Just worried and frustrated.
"I haven't noticed any shortness of breath or bruising," Buck admitted, "but you could be hiding symptoms like a headache, dizziness, irregular heart rate. Are you?"
"Buck, I'm not hiding any of those symptoms because I'm not having any symptoms of whatever it is you think I have." Jane put her hands on her hips, giving Bobby a stare down. He wasn't fooling anyone. They all knew what the crew was worried about. The Captain, usually not one to back down, actually looked away when he met Jane's eye.
"That tunnel fire," Buck's mouth was at work again. Unafraid of saying things left unsaid, "you were in there way too long. Okay? That much exposure to radiation can cause aplastic anemia. Did you know that's what killed Marie Curie?"
That last line surprised both Bobby and Jane, causing them to stop their battle of wills just long enough to exchange shocked and amused glances. This, they knew, must have been a result of Buck's excessive worry about the people he cared about. He was a problem solver and despite his flippant exterior, he had a great heart.
"No, I did not know that," Bobby admitted, tone wry. "I also did not know that you knew who Madame Marie Curie was."
"Well, I had to look her up," Buck looked a bit bashful, having been caught caring too much. "But she was a really smart lady and she still died from too much exposure to radiation."
"The more you know," Jane quipped. She had known who Marie Curie was and how she died, but that's likely because Jane had taken a seminar on women's contributions to STEM in college.
"Buck, listen, I appreciate your concern, but I am fine," Bobby tried to reassure while walking away just a bit. "So, please, stop with the internet research. Here, is our real problem. We have a tie for Christmas dinner. Five votes for burgers and five votes for Chinese."
"Five people voted Chinese food?" Buck looked astonished. "I voted turkey."
"Huh," Bobby scoffed a bit. He was just a bit at the end of his rope with people worrying about him. He was getting that caged in, I-need-space look in his eyes. "You were the only one. The falafel place got more votes than turkey."
"That was my vote," Jane admitted. "Been awhile since we had it. Alas, I'll have to make Eddie take me there sometime next week. What was your vote, Bobby?"
Her captain smirked just a bit, appreciating what Jane was trying to do. She was helping him shift gears and change the subject. "I went for Burgers, but you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to switch my vote to Chinese. I am just not up for cooking Christmas dinner this year."
"Ah!" Buck exclaimed in triumph, pointing at Bobby's face. "Fatigue. Also a symptom! C'mere." He then put the back of his hand to Bobby's forehead, as if to check for a temperature, and Bobby promptly smacked it away.
"Buck. Listen. I know you're worried, but there is nothing to worry about yet. So, as my grandmother always used to say, don't go barrowing trouble."
"That must be a grandmother thing, because I've noticed that Bubbe says the same thing."
"How is your family Jane?" Bobby seized on the topic change. "Did you all have a good Hannukah?"
"It was lovely. Met a lot of extended family. Most all of them were welcoming, well except a great uncle who was a bit irritable, but Eli said it's nothing personal, and Bubbe smacked him on the back of his head for me. They've been...wonderfully welcoming."
"Good," Bobby gave her a side hug. "You deserve it."
Buck, while extraordinarily happy for Jane, wasn't going to fall into her trap. He just...he needed Bobby to know.
"Bobby. I know I do dumb things sometimes and generally drive you crazy. You're an important person in my life, Bobby, one of the most important. I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen to you."
"I know," He smiled a bit ruefully. Then, he threw an arm around the other blonde's shoulder and together, they made their way back to where their crew was. No matter what happened with Bobby's results, they'd face them together, as a team.
The worst call that the 118 responded to that shift was a young boy, ten or eleven years old, doing compressions on his mother. His heartbreaking cries that he didn't mean to hurt her, after her ribs cracked during CPR would later come back in Jane's nightmares about the job. It wasn't the most horrific scene she'd ever responded to. Fortunately, they got her heart started back up before she was transferred into the ambulance and sent to the hospital. But he'd be in a group home until his mother got released, after Christmas, worrying both Hen and Jane.
In happier news, Bobby's exam results all came back clean, which allowed Jane and Buck to actually start sleeping from bell to bell again at the firehouse instead of waking up every other hour to check on the sleeping Captain. That intervening time of not Christmas to Christmas sped up until it was Christmas Day and the 118 had one of the most bizarre calls of their entire career.
The team was serious, when they came to their intended address, a moderate apartment building that was decked out in garland and lights. The crew moved swiftly to unload and climb the few flights of stairs, having been informed that there was no elevator, and their destination was the third floor. Still, despite their best efforts, at least three of them were mentally singing Elvis Presley's Blue Christmas.
"LAFD. Open up please." Bobby knocked on the door of the apartment, leading the crew.
A woman with short, pixie cut hair, answered the door. She was young, in her mid-twenties, in nondescript clothes. She was quite pretty, and that would have been much more noticeable, except that the purpose of their call. Her skin was blue. Not blue tinged. Not grayish blue. Not covered in healing bruises blue. Completely blue. Smurf blue.
"THIS IS NOT OKAY." She screamed upon seeing them all, and hen she winced, raising her hand to grip the right side of her jaw. "Ow. Jeez."
"Okay. Ma'am. Ma'am," Bobby immediately sought to calm her down. "Please take a seat and tell us what's going on."
"What's going on? Look at me! I'm a Smurf and I need a root canal!"
"Her pulse is steady. Pupils are normal," Hen checked her over. "How long has this been going on?"
"The teeth since last week. The 'Avatar' look since I woke up. And on top of that I have to go to work today. I mean, what kind of looser has to work on Christmas?!"
The entire team looked at each other as if to ask, what kind of loosers were they?
Then, the woman seemed to realize her faux pas against the people trying to help her.
"Right. Sorry."
"Ma'am do you mind if my crew takes a look around?" Bobby continued once they'd all recovered.
"Yes. That's fine," she retorted sarcastically, knowing she had no choice. "You very handsome men, please go look through my messy apartment. Because this wasn't humiliating enough already."
Jane bit back a laugh. She liked this woman. She was battling obvious pain and discomfort and fear with sarcasm and humor. She could appreciate that brand of coping mechanism.
"If it helps at all, I'm not a pretty man, and I'll keep them out of some of the more embarrassing hiding places," Jane reassured her, following Buck and Eddie back into what could only be the woman's bedroom.
Before she left, the brunette gave her a rueful grin with the good side of her mouth, "Thanks."
"Okay, ma'am. Have you taken any colloidal silver supplements?" Jane heard Chimney ask as she went out of earshot.
Her presence wasn't needed though. The moment she stepped into the room, she saw Eddie and Buck coming out of the bathroom with what could only be the cause of the woman's current case of the blues.
"Well, that's a lot," Jane murmured, looking at the full trash can of empty tubes.
"Haven't seen anyone use this much," Eddie agreed.
The trio came right back out just in time to hear Bobby ask about silver based medications.
"Benzocaine. Toothache gel," Eddie came out baring a tube, intending to show Hen and Chimney the ingredients so they'd know just how much the woman had ingested. "She used the whole thing."
Buck followed Eddie with the trash can from the bathroom. "And a trash can full of empties."
There were at least ten to fifteen empty tubes of Benzocaine.
Then this poor woman, who'd just wanted her tooth to stop hurting, started convulsing.
"She's seizing."
"Okay. Okay."
"Got her?" Chim confirmed.
"Got her." Hen agreed.
Together, they lowered their victim of circumstance to the ground from the chair.
"Could be Methemoglobinemia." Hen devised.
"Okay, put her on the CO-oximeter," Bobby instructed. The paramedics, in agreement, got to work. In a flurry of words, they worked to diagnose and ensure that they understood what had happened.
"It was the Benzocaine," Eddie spoke. "Overuse can prevent the body from releasing red blood cells."
"Oh," Buck appeared startled as he looked down at the woman's bleeding arm, which had been punctured with a needle.. "Why is she bleeding chocolate syrup?"
"Because, blood thinner boy," Chim responded flippantly, "Methemoglobinemia causes her blood to appear much darker than normal, which then causes her skin to only reflect blue light, hence, Smurf lady."
"Methylene blue converts the ferric iron to ferrace iron," Hen continued the explanation. "It turns the blood back to red."
"I've never seen a case this advanced, Hen." Chim observed their patient carefully. "Let's give her two doses."
After a long tense moment, the blue seeped from her skin and she regained consciousness.
She pulled off her mask in a frantic flurry, trying to figure out what had just happened. "Oh my god."
They sat her up slowly, encouraging her to take deep breaths.
"I'm," she gasped, "I'm not blue! Ouch. But my teeth. How am I gonna get through work?"
"Well good news. You earned yourself a day off." Hen celebrated with her. "And a morphine drip."
Chim gave her a wry smile, "Happy holidays!"
................
When they arrived back at the station house to find that not only were their friends and family there, but they'd managed to invite the kid whose mom had been taken to the hospital and all the kids who had been in the group home with him. They'd all brought food and presents, and it was a Christmas miracle really. Max, Shannon, and Christopher were there. So were Rachel, Jane's father, and Eli who'd all been more than happy to receive the call from Buck, despite not celebrating the holiday themselves. They had been some of the ones who'd helped collected the presents for the kids in the group home.
Jane was just so happy, beyond relieved that she didn't have to let Christopher down this year. The same way she knew that Eddie had to have been so relieved himself. The trio were sitting off to the corner, Shannon and Max laughing and helping hand out presents to the kids from the home. It was just Jane, Eddie, and Christopher for the moment, and it was all she'd wanted for Christmas.
That's when Christopher handed Jane her present. It was flat and heavy, giving the woman a slight start as she hadn't expected the weight. She ripped open the Star Wars wrapping paper, laughing at Christopher's choice, and loving how thoughtful he was. He knew she was just a big dork. But the second that she opened the present, she paused. It was a large picture, in a weighty silver frame. The frame was just elaborate enough to be unique, twining ivy at the edges, but not so much that it overwhelmed. Still, the real present was what was inside the frame, and it made her heart fill with so much love that it hurt.
It was a photo that had been taken by Buck over the summer at the golf course. In it, Jane, Eddie, and Christopher were all holding their neon clubs and not at all looking at the camera. It was one of those perfectly captured moments where the subjects were so caught up in each other, that the rest of the world didn't exist. Eddie had both arms wrapped around Jane, turned into her with a goofy hug that he'd caught her up in to make her laugh. Jane was mid laugh, her head almost thrown back in joy. Chris stood next to them, smiling wider than usual, laughing, and about to encourage his dad to keep distracting her so they could win.
The love between them was so obvious. It's the kind of picture that Jane had seen on the walls of classmates' homes that would usually send her into a small bout of self-pity. She'd been so envious that it was embarrassing at times. This gift was one she'd wanted since she was seven years old and understood what it would mean to have pictures with people who loved you. It was so incredibly personal and perfect.
"I-" she blinked away tears, and poor Chris didn't know what was happening.
"Oh, Jane, do you not like it? I'm sorry. It was dad's idea, please don't cry." It actually hadn't been Eddie's idea, but he wasn't about to rat Chris out before Jane had a chance to explain her tears. Especially since Eddie knew for a fact that those were tears of grief and joy, rather than the tears of someone who hated a present.
Besides, Jane would have loved any present that Christopher might have chosen for her.
"This is the best present I've ever gotten in my entire life." She quickly wiped her eyes and sent Christopher a watery smile, even while Eddie wrapped her into a side hug, her shoulder to his chest the way it was in the picture. He kissed her head and it was a move that filled her with such a sense of love and...safety. It was a beautiful, beautiful thing.
After a while, Christopher ran off to play with the other kids, Max and Shannon keeping up with them all, and it was just Jane and Eddie.
And one more box wrapped in Star Wars paper.
"So, I don't know if I can beat the best present, you've ever been given," Eddie teased a bit, "but I'd at least like to give you my present."
"You know you could have left it at the picture, and I'd still think you were the best partner in the world, right?" She assured him, tucked securely under his arm on the small bench. His hand was gently playing with her hair, and every so often when no one was looking, he'd sneak a kiss. On her cheek. On her forehead. And, most recently, on the very corner of her mouth. Just because they'd made a no PDA in the Firehouse rule didn't mean that rule applied on Christmas. At least, that's what Eddie would argue if Jane called him on it.
"I have to keep raising the bar, Thomas," he explained. "It's a guy thing."
"I mean, if that guy thing involves presents, I don't think I'll be too upset." She couldn't even hide her excitement. Their first Christmas as a real couple. Her first Christmas present from a boyfriend.
"Just open it."
"Yes, sir." She agreed, making him blush and her laugh as she finally moved to open the gift.
She was a bit shocked when she opened the box to find two envelopes inside. "What is this?" she smiled up at him confusedly.
"Well, I got you two gifts. The first, well, it's not entirely something that we discussed, but until you are ready, it's a symbolic gesture. The second is something fun."
"Got it," she laughed a bit. So, she picked up the first envelope, a bit surprised to find it flat, but full of some type of papers. She ripped open the top, and was startled to find an airline logo at the top of one of the papers.
"Plane tickets?" She murmured, reading the papers but not quite realizing what it was. "Wait? Tickets to Seattle?"
"Yeah," he admitted. "So, these aren't great tickets. I got a nice deal on them, and we'll have to fight to get seats next to each other. But, you once told me that you tried to take trips at least once a year. I thought that, if you didn't mind, we could go together on your next adventure."
"Really?" she was trembling with excitement, and then she did a double take, "But there's only two tickets here. What about Chris?"
"I might have made the reservations for over his Spring Break so he'd be staying with Shannon and Max. Eventually, we'll go on trips with the three of us, but this time I thought we might want some time alone."
"Yeah," I don't know how Buck's going to take this."
"We'll send him a post cards every day for the entire week we are gone."
Jane laughed, and threw her arms around him. "This is so perfect. Thank you. This is a lot though. Are you sure it won't be a problem?"
"It really wasn't that much, promise. Now, there's a second envelope."
"Right! Almost forgot," but when she picked up the second part of her present, she was surprised to see that there was a bit of weight to it. And, after just a second of holding it in her hand, she realized what he'd given her.
"Is this....?" She looked at him, eyes wide, and Eddie appeared even more nervous than he'd been before. Inside the envelope, was a small silver key. The same one that would fit perfectly inside Eddie's front door.
"I'm not asking you to move in," he assured her, and then kicked himself. "At least, I'm not yet. I just thought...I wanted to give you something solid. Like the picture. You didn't have a proper home growing up, and every single time I think about that, it makes me physically hurt. So, even though you might not sleep there every night, I just wanted to let you know that going forward, you have a home. With me and Chris."
"Eddie," Jane couldn't catch her breath. "This- I-" words just weren't enough. So, throwing aside any and all PDA rules that might have once existed, Jane threw both arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep, lasting kiss. The kind you feel down to your bones.
And she didn't even blush when their display inevitably resulted in the hoots and hollars of the people they loved most in the universe.
Eventually, Eddie was pulled away by his son, and Jane got to talk with her family, so happy to see them. She couldn't help but give a sigh of contentment, as she looked around the room. Her heart was so incredibly full, she felt as if she could burst. For the second year in a row, she was able to celebrate Christmas with her family. The little girl who had yearned silently, year after year, for such an opportunity, was in stunned awe. The young woman, who'd slowly begun to embrace her status as one who was beloved...she was just as speechless.
So, when Eddie Diaz found her again, and asked if she was alright, she didn't even bother to wipe the tears from her eyes. She just gave him her wide, dimpled smile and nodded. She was so much more than alright after this year. She was happy.
"Merry Christmas."
Hello Lovely People!
Song for the chapter is Please Come Home for Christmas by Aaron Neville. One of the best Christmas songs, in my humble opinion.
9-1-1 is back, so I thought you might like a bit of Jane. Love you all! :)