About Eight Hours Later...
[Eight hours after departing, Asher continues driving the truck following the directions Jerry told him. Which was just, and I quote, "Keep driving straight for eight hours." toward their destination. Jerry is still lying in the back of the truck with his eyes closed. As of now, the two appear to be in the middle of nowhere surrounded by a dead forest with an unending amount of thorns in all directions. Asher looks around at his surroundings expecting to find something. Anything at all. Nope. Just dead trees and shrubs with hundreds of thorns. He narrows his eyes in an attempt to see something deeper within the woods but can't seem to find anything. He then reaches back and opens up the rear panel window.]
Asher: Hey, Jerry, are we almost at the spot or whatever?
Jerry: ...
[Jerry doesn't respond to Asher's question.]
Asher: Hey, can you hear me?
Jerry: ...
[Still no response. Asher turns around and looks through the rear window at Jerry. He can see him lying on the truck bed not responding.]
Asher: Jerry?
Jerry: ...
[Asher stares at Jerry silently for a few seconds, then he starts snoring.]
Jerry: *Snore*
Asher: Oh you fucking Imp bitch... Fine...
[Asher turns back forward and looks down the dirt road with a mischievous smile on his face.]
Asher: Hard way it is...
[He then takes his foot off the gas and slams it down on the truck's brakes, causing it to come to an abrupt stop. It also causes Jerry to fly forward and slam his head against the truck's rear panel, causing a loud thud.]
*THUD*
Jerry: FUCK!
[Asher snickers attempting to hold in his laughter. Jerry sits up and rubs his head in pain. He angrily looks over his shoulder at Asher. Asher leans back in the driver's chair with a smile.]
Asher: *Snicker* ♫Good morning sunshine!♫
Jerry: What the hell Asher!?
Asher: You brought that upon yourself, my friend. I wouldn't have had to do that if you were awake.
Jerry: Why the hell did you do it in the first place?!
Asher: Because you're the only living creature in this vehicle that knows where we are going!
Jerry: Eghhh...
[Jerry stops rubbing his head and looks around at his surroundings. He seems to be taking in every minute detail he can in the dead forest.]
Asher: Well? Are we here or not?
Jerry: Hold, I'm trying to figure that out...
[His gaze then moves to the top of the trees and the far-off distance. Far away from the two demons seems to be just more dead forest and a few hilly areas. He studies his surroundings carefully before looking upwards into the sky, or ceiling, of Hell. The giant glowing pentagram in the sky is still there, it hasn't seemed to move in the slightest. However, Jerry seems to be looking past it. Towards the actual ceiling of Hell. He scans it carefully like he's looking for something. His eyes slowly move around for a few seconds before he spots something. It's miles away and almost impossible to spot with the naked eye, but there's an incredibly small glowing dot on the ceiling. Jerry looks at it confidently.]
Jerry: Hmm... Alright.
[He looks back down at Asher.]
Jerry: We're here.
Asher: Wait, really? How can you tell?
[Jerry points upwards.]
Jerry: It's pretty much impossible to tell without a pair of binoculars but you can kind of see some of the crystals on the ceiling of Hell.
[Asher responds with a smile.]
Asher: Ya mean the Glowstone?
Jerry: I'm not calling them that, but yes.
Asher: So we're at the spot you were talking about? The spot? The spot with the glowstone, the spot where the glowstone falls? That spot?
Jerry: Yes. That spot.
Asher: Finally! I could barely fend off the thoughts telling me to floor it down the road and keep driving until we hit a tree. Let's set up camp so we can-
Jerry: No. Not here.
[Asher raises an eyebrow as he looks at Jerry.]
Asher: Huh? Why not?
Jerry: Do you want to set up a camp in the middle of the road?
Asher: I mean in the woods on the side of the road dipshit.
Jerry: No, still a bad place to set up. We have to go deeper into the woods towards a secluded area.
Asher: Why?
Jerry: Because I'm your boss and I said so.
[Asher looks back forward with an annoyed expression on his face.]
Asher: Fine. (In Head) It's been a while since he's used the, "I'm your Boss" card...
[Asher looks around the sides of the dirt road and into the brush of the dead forest. He can't see any sort of opening or entrance. So he decides to drive forward slowly while keeping his eye out for one. In the back of the truck, Jerry looks around and takes in his surroundings. He's scanning the tree lines incredibly carefully. He seems to be on high alert for whatever reason.]
Jerry: (In Head) Yea... This is definitely the spot... It's been years since I've passed by here but I burned the spot in my brain just in case... Looks like that hour I spent staring into the sky paid off. Lucky for us you can't tell what's special about this place unless you're looking exactly for it... Hopefully, that means we should be somewhat safe out here...
Asher: What about that opening to our left?
Jerry: Hm?
[Jerry snaps out of his thoughts and looks back down. He gets on his knees so he can see above the roof of the truck. Ahead of them to the left of the road is a small opening in the trees.]
Jerry: Uhhhhh- Yea, that should work.
Asher: Neat.
[Asher drives ahead towards the opening and takes a left into it. He drives slowly and carefully down the non-existent road between dozens of dead trees. It's an incredibly bumpy and rough drive making it hard for Asher to navigate through it.]
*Wack*
Jerry: Ow! Fuck!
[Jerry is having just as hard of a drive. He just got whacked in the face by a thorny dead tree branch. He sits down and feels around his pained face. He's got a few thorns in his red skin. He looks annoyed.]
Jerry: *Annoyed Groan* Ughh... Goddammit...
[Asher continues driving deeper into the dead forest, past hundreds of thorny dead trees and bushes. After a full minute of slowly navigating deeper into the forest, Asher comes across an incline that leads up to an overlook of some sort on a small mountain. Not having much of a choice, he carefully drives up the incline and onto the overlook. At the top, he stops the truck and places it in park. He looks around. The lookout is above the tree line allowing him and Jerry to see far off into the distance. The dead forest appears to go on for miles with absolutely zero signs of life.]
Asher: This seems like a decent place to set up. Oh! And look! It even comes with a gorgeous view! I wonder if they have room service here?
Jerry: Ow.
[Jerry gets back on his knees in the back of the truck and pulls a thorn out from his cheek under his left eye.]
Jerry: Ouch... That's gonna sting for a while.
Asher: Eh, It probably won't hurt as much as getting a spear impaled through your chest.
[Jerry ignores Asher's comment and looks around, he looks around the overlook and the forest below.]
Jerry: Alright... This place looks good... Good enough for the time we're here at least.
[Asher takes the key out of the ignition as Jerry stands up and jumps out of the back of the truck with a thud. He takes a few steps towards the edge of the overlook as Asher opens the driver's door and gets out of the truck.]
Asher: So a week right? We're gonna be here for a week?
Jerry: Yea, but if things go better-
Asher: Which they won't.
Jerry: -we could be out of here in two or three days...
[Asher walks over beside Jerry and takes in the view. It really is just a dead forest as far as the eye can see. He then looks up towards the ceiling of hell, where Jerry says he saw the Glowstone.]
Asher: So what are our odds of actually getting a good chunk of glowstone while we're here?
Jerry: I'm not calling it that. But honestly, not well... Not well at all.
[Asher looks up at Jerry while Jerry looks down at him.]
Asher: At least give me an estimate on how fucked we are.
Jerry: Our chances are the exact same odds the both of us have of getting into heaven.
Asher: (Quietly) *Breathes In Sharply Through Teeth* Tch. That low?
Jerry: Yea. That low.
[Jerry turns around and walks back to the truck. Asher stands there silently for a few seconds taking in the news.]
Asher: Fuck.
[Asher turns around and looks at Jerry. He seems to have started unpacking the truck. There are a few wooden crates on the ground beside the truck along with that large, long wooden crate held together with a red strap in Jerry's hands.]
Asher: Need some help with that?
Jerry: Nah, I got it covered.
[He walks to the side of the truck and places the red-strapped wooden crate carefully on the ground.]
Jerry: But you can help me out by keeping an eye out over the lookout.
Asher: Just in case some of the glowstone falls? Good idea.
Jerry: Well yes, but actually no. I want you to keep an eye out for trouble.
[Jerry goes back to unpacking the truck. Asher looks at him confused.]
Asher: Trouble? What uh- What kind of trouble are we talking about?
Jerry: Other scavengers.
Asher: Scavengers?
[Jerry stops unpacking the truck and looks at Asher while holding a normal-sized pair of binoculars in his hands.]
Jerry: Yea. What? Did you really think we were the only ones out here looking for some heavenly glowing crystals?
Asher: Glowstone.
Jerry: Shut up! They're not called that! But yea. We're not the only ones out here bud.
Asher: Really?
Jerry: Yep.
[Asher turns around and looks over the overlook. All he can see are dead trees covered in thorns. There are no signs of life anywhere.]
Jerry: It may not look like it but there's gotta be at least one hundred other assholes hiding in that forest waiting for a crystal to fall.
Asher: Glowstone.
Jerry: I'm not calling it that! *Annoyed Growling*
[Jerry growls and rubs his forehead annoyed.]
Jerry: *Groan* Stupid names aside, we're not the only ones out here looking to score big time.
Asher: So coincidentally, one hundred of the one thousand Demons that know about the glowstone just so happen to be here.
[Jerry walks away from his truck and towards Asher.]
Jerry: That was just a guess earlier on... In reality, there's gotta be at least twelve thousand demons that know about the crystals-
Asher: Glowstone.
Jerry: I'm going to fucking slap you if you keep calling them that! *Annoyed Growl* As I was saying, an accurate guess on how many Demons in the entirety of Hell who seem to know about the crystal's existence is around twelve thousand. However, at least two thousand of them have to be buyers.
Asher: I'm guessing those buyers happen to be higher on the food chain... Sooooo- Demon Overlords? Right?
Jerry: You got it bud. Them and the royals. Why the hell would they come out here and do the dirty work when they could just pay dumbasses like us to go and wait for a fresh one to drop or steal it from someone else they hate.
Asher: Those fuckers can afford glowstone?
Jerry: Overlords are loaded, and the Royals are pretty much set for life.
Asher: Don't you mean afterlife? *Laugh* HA!
Truck's Radio: *Laugh Track*
[For absolutely no reason. The truck's radio turns on, plays a laugh track, and then turns off. All by itself. Asher and Jerry both stare at the truck stunned. They both stare at it silently for a few seconds before looking back at each other.]
Jerry: Uhhh... Ok... As I was saying... Two thousand of the twelve are Overlords or Royals. The rest are idiots like us who are either here because they were hired to wait for one to drop, hoping they can hit it big and grab one as soon as it drops, or, worst of all, the assholes who wait for someone to grab a crystal and then kill them for it.
Asher: So there's a chance we'll either come out of this either empty-handed, exactly what we came here for, or just dead.
[Jerry hands Asher the pair of binoculars he was holding.]
Jerry: Yep.
[Asher takes the binoculars from him.]
Jerry: Keep your eyes out for anything glowing in the sky, close to us, or far off in the distance. It doesn't matter where, if something drops we ditch whatever we're doing and go after it. But keep your eyes out for anyone else in the woods with us, I want you to mainly keep watch on the ground around our camp and in the trees. See if there's anyone else camped out nearby or someone trying to get the jump on us.
Asher: Sure thing.
[Asher puts the binoculars at his eyes and starts combing the forest around them.]
Jerry: While you do that I'll unload and set everything up. Shouldn't take too long.
[Asher lowers the binoculars.]
Asher: You got it!
[Asher walks up to the edge of the overlook and kneels down behind some rocks. He places the binoculars back up against his eyes and starts carefully looking at his surroundings.]
Asher: This forest is going to have my full undivided attention for the next week!
Exactly One Hour Later...
Asher: *Bored Groan* This is so fucking boring!
Jerry: Mmm-hmm...
[Asher is lying face down on the rock he was kneeling behind earlier. He's holding the binoculars Jerry gave him in his hands but just seems to be searching the dead forest with just his eyes. For some reason, he looks exhausted. Jerry on the other hand is still besides the truck. However, it seems he finished unpacking and setting up camp. The camp in question isn't too impressive. Jerry seems to have unloaded the truck of all its contents and placed them beside it. All except the large metal crate, it still remains in the back of the truck. The crate with the red strap seems to be leaning against the truck carefully. The back of the truck looks as if it's been made into some sort of makeshift tent. The back is covered up with a tarp while some blankets and large pillows rest on the truck bed. There also seems to be a small tent set up beside it with Asher's duffle bag in front of it. Jerry grabs a duffle bag from beside the truck and walks over to where Asher is lying down.]
Jerry: We've only been here for an hour and you're already complaining...
Asher: What did you expect!?
[He gestures around himself.]
Asher: There's nothing to do here! I'm a special person Jerry, I need some form of entertainment if you want me to stay still.
Jerry: Oh your special alright...
[Asher leans up so he can look at Jerry.]
Asher: I heard that.
Jerry: Good. Now get up.
[Jerry grabs the back of Asher's shirt and pulls him back to his feet. Asher seems a bit grumpy.]
Jerry: Well take shifts later on but as of now we're both on duty.
[Asher glares at Jerry.]
Asher: Says the guy who just slept an entire eight hour drive.
Jerry: And set up an entire camp by himself... All you've done for the past nine hours is sit down and look in one direction...
Asher: And used my head. That's a lot of work for me.
Jerry: (Sarcastically) Yea. I bet using your brain for more than an hour a day is incredibly demanding for you.
Asher: Yes. It is.
[Asher places both of his hands in his pockets and begins walking towards the truck.]
Asher: That is exactly why I'm taking a smoke break.
Jerry: Smoke break?
[Asher walks over to the crates beside the truck and looks at them. Jerry looks at him confused.]
Jerry: A smoke break? Since when the hell do you take smoke breaks?
Asher: Since I decided to start taking them a few seconds ago.
[Jerry sighs and shakes his head.]
Asher: Where's my bag? I'm pretty sure I left my lighter in there with the rest of my things.
[Jerry sits down where Asher was before behind the rock. He opens up his duffle bag and takes out a large pair of binoculars. He places them in front of his eyes and begins looking around the dead forest.]
Jerry: It should be in front of the tent.
[Asher looks at the tent. He sees his bag resting in front of it. He walks over to his bag and kneels down next to it.]
Asher: I'm just gonna go on a walk and smoke one or two cigarettes... Or maybe a whole pack. I don't know. It depends on how depressed I'm feeling.
Jerry: Alright then, just be back quickly and don't wander too far off...
Asher: If you're so concerned about me wandering too far off then maybe you should put a leash on me.
Jerry: Sounds kinky. Not gonna happen.
Asher: HA!
[Asher grabs the zipper on his duffle bag and unzips it open. Inside is his clothing, a bottle of scotch, a few packs of cigarettes, a lighter, and-]
Asher: Hey Jerry?
Jerry: Yea?
[Asher looks away from his bag at Jerry.]
Asher: You wouldn't have happened to put a fake crow in my bag? Like as a joke? Would you have done that?
[Jerry continues to look around the forest, kind of ignoring what Asher just said.]
Jerry: What? No. That's stupid.
Asher: Really? Huh...
[Asher looks back at his bag and stares at the inside of it. Jerry continues to keep watch. It's a few seconds later when what Asher said earlier finally registers in his head.]
Jerry: Wait. Why are you asking me that?
Asher: Because for some reason, there seems to be a fake crow inside my bag. I don't remember putting one in here. Nor buying one... Maybe I was drunk or something. Eh. Regardless, it's pretty well made for a fake. Almost looks like its alive-
Crescent Crow: *Caw*
Asher: (Quietly) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that's why.
[The Crescent Crow flies out of the duffle bag and immediately starts attacking Asher's face.]
Asher: (Yelling) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
[Jerry, hearing Asher scream, turns around and sees him running around the campsite like a madman. He's rapidly flailing his arms in the air around him in an attempt to hit the Crescent Crow as it attacks his face.]
Jerry: What the hell?
Asher: JERRY!!! DO SOMETHING FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!
Crescent Crow: *Caw*
Jerry: What the hell do you want me to do?
Asher: ANYTHING!!!
[Asher does a full loop around the truck while being attacked and yelling at Jerry to help him. Jerry doesn't show much concern as his normal unimpressed expression is on his face.]
Asher: (Yelling) AHHHHHHHHH-HHHHAAAA-HA-HA-HA!!!
Crescent Crow: *Caw*
Jerry: *Sigh* What has my job come to?
[As Asher runs around in sporadic panic, Jerry shakes his head and reaches behind his apron. He takes out some sort of large sawed-off double-barrel shotgun and points it upwards. He pulls the trigger, shooting it.]
*BANG*
[The gunshot seems to startle the Crescent Crow causing it to stop attacking Asher and fly off. Asher continues to run around until he runs face-first into the side of the truck and comically falls down backward. Jerry watches him fall backward unimpressed. He then lowers the shotgun and lets out a sigh.]
Jerry: *Sigh* Are you alright?
Asher: *Fake Crying* Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
Jerry: I'm going to take that as a yes.
[Jerry breaks the shotgun, ejecting the spent shell.]
Jerry: What the hell happened?
[Asher jumps up and looks at Jerry. He seems more pissed than panicked.]
Asher: It's the fucking Crescent Crow!!!
Jerry: The what?
[Asher points at the Crescent Crow which is now perched on a nearby dead tree staring at the two. The bird seems unharmed and rather calm.]
Asher: The asshole leader of the fucking crow gang in Pentagram City that's trying to kill me!
Crescent Crow: *Caw*
Jerry: Oh. That crow.
[Jerry casually looks at the crow.]
Jerry: What the hell is doing all the way out here?
Asher: It was hiding in my fucking bag!
Jerry: Really?
Asher: YES!!! It stowed away in my bag and waited until I opened it so it could try to kill me!
[Asher dusts himself off as Jerry walks over to the truck beside him.]
Jerry: How did it get in your bag in the first place?
Asher: I don't know Jerry! How did it get in there?!
Jerry: Are you implying that I have something to do with the bird being in your bag?
Crescent Crow: *Caw*
[Jerry reaches into a pocket of his apron and takes out a large shotgun shell. He places it into the sawed-off gun and closes it.]
Asher: Well I don't remember going into the city, picking up an animal that is constantly trying to kill me, and placing it in my bag!
Jerry: So you're implying that I picked up the bird and put it in your bag?
Crescent Crow: *Caw*
Asher: What? No. I know you're an asshole but I know you wouldn't do something like that.
[Asher walks away from the truck back towards his bag. He gets on his knees and starts carefully inspecting the contents of his duffle bag.]
Asher: I'm implying that while you weren't looking, the damn crow unzippered my bag, crawled inside, zipped it shut, and then stayed quiet for the entire eight-hour drive just so it could ambush me the second it got the chance! Fucking hell...
Jerry: Is that thing really that smart?
Asher: Yes... It is...
[Asher takes out his lighter and a pack of cigarettes. He stands up and takes one of the cigarettes out of the pack.]
Asher: Why do you think I'm always so paranoid when I'm in the city?
Jerry: I already knew it was decently clever, but I didn't think it was that smart.
[Asher places the cigarette into his mouth and flips his lighter open.]
Asher: To say that it's smart would be an understatement... That bird is more intelligent than the average sinner that falls down here.
Jerry: You included?
[Asher lights his cigarette and flips his lighter closed.]
Asher: You're damn right me included...
[He takes a puff of his cigarette and turns around. The Crescent Crow is still perched on the dead tree glaring directly at him.]
Asher: And now I need to keep my eye on it for the next week... Gee, that sounds fun.
Jerry: Sounds more annoying than fun.
Asher: Tell me about it... Anyways, I'll be back in a bit.
[Asher places both of his hands in his pockets as Jerry places his shotgun back beneath his apron.]
Jerry: If you're going off alone in the forest, maybe you should take some heat with you just in case... Or in case the bird tries attacking you again.
Crescent Crow: *Caw*
Asher: I already have some heat with me. My lighter.
Jerry: Not that kind of heat you idiot...
[Jerry approaches the crates beside the truck and opens one up with his bare hands. Asher looks at him a bit confused as Jerry rummages through the crate. Eventually, he takes out a small metallic object and tosses it at Asher.]
Jerry: Here.
[Asher catches the object with both of his hands. Now that it's right in front of him he's able to get a good look at it. It's a semi-automatic pistol. The pistol looks clean and seems to be made of the same metal as most of the weapons Jerry makes. Asher inspects the weapon carefully before looking back at Jerry.]
Asher: Did you... Make this?
Jerry: Yea... I've uhhh- Decided it was about time to start learning how to manufacture firearms.
[Asher pulls the slide back and sees a bullet in the chamber.]
Jerry: It's nothing big and fancy but it should serve as a reliable weapon.
[Asher lets go of the slide resulting in a satisfying click. He then inspects the left side of the firearm admiring the parts. The grip on the handle appears to have been made out of some of the dead wood surrounding Jerry's workshop. It has a dull gray color to it which almost blends in with the dark metal.]
Jerry: I had a few fuck ups before this one but was able to fix up most of the problems... Sooo- It probably won't blow up in your hands...
[Asher looks at the pistol some more before he notices that the safety is off. He flicks it on and looks at Jerry.]
Asher: I don't know what's funnier. The fact that you think I'm going to need this, the fact that you actually made a decent-looking firearm, or the fact that you threw it to me fully loaded with the safety off.
Jerry: I can't tell if you're just being sarcastic or being sarcastic and complimenting me.
Asher: More the second one than the first. But in all honesty-
[Asher raises the pistol and points it at a rock near the overlook.]
Asher: -for a guy who lives in a cave and builds everything by hand, it's pretty impressive. Looks just like a factory-made M1911A1.
Jerry: I modeled it off of that variant of pistols. Heard it was reliable so I gave it a few shots.
[Asher lowers the pistol and looks at Jerry.]
Asher: More like seven shots. *Chuckles*
Jerry: Heh... Yea, I guess so. Anyways you should hold on to it just in case you ever get into any sort of trouble that requires you to off someone. Which... Knowing you will inevitably happen...
Asher: Let's hope I can avoid using it.
[Asher slides the pistol behind him under his belt.]
Asher: Now all I need is a decent holster so I don't shoot myself and I'll be set.
Jerry: Sounds good. Just try your best not to use it while we're here. Any loud noise could attract some unwanted attention.
Asher: You mean like how you just shot one into the air?
Jerry: Yea, don't do that.
Asher: What the hell did you shoot anyways?
Jerry: A homemade sawed-off double barrel I made specifically for me. I decided it would be a good idea to start carrying since we almost got murdered during our little joyride a month ago.
Asher: Huh. Right... Well in that case I'm off.
[Asher blows out some smoke from his mouth and begins walking past the tent down the incline of the overlook. Asher waves at Jerry without looking back.]
Asher: I'll be back shortly! Try not to do anything too fun while I'm gone!
[Jerry lazily waves back at him.]
Jerry: I wouldn't count on anything happening... Just don't wander too far off.
[They both stop waving at each other. Asher walks down the incline and begins making his way away from the camp. Jerry goes back to where he was before behind the rock and goes back to keeping an eye out for anything. Then there's the Crescent Crow. It's been watching the two ever since Jerry scared it off from Asher. It looks at Jerry carefully, like it's examining him. Then it looks at Asher who's making his way away from the campsite. Alone. It glares directly at him, and takes flight.]