Was it some sort of hallucination? Had you just imagined Scott's death?
He was standing right in front of you, so that had to be just your imagination.
"Ah- I'm alive? What happened? Who are you?! Ahh!"
"Wait a minute... What happened? I thought I died from diabetes!"
From the words of both the man and Scott himself, you realized that wasn't the case. He had died in front of you, and you weren't able to do anything about it.
Whichever kinda miracle turned things back, you'd thank it for life.
Without wasting a second, you latched onto the freckled boy who had just gotten up from the ground, arms circling his neck, a relieved smile plastered onto your face.
"I'm so glad you're alive! I thought we had lost you, Scott!" The boy shakily moved his arms to hug you back, extremely flustered from the sudden contact but not wanting to miss that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, he had almost forgotten about his death thanks to it.
You were very warm, he noted. It was comforting.
Detaching yourself from the very visibly blushing boy who you decided not to tease or anything because there is a time and place for everything, but that wasn't the right moment, you gave him a slightly pouting look.
"Listen here!" He stiffened at your authoritative tone, even if the look on your face made it hard for him to take you seriously, "This is your life we're talking about, for god's sake! Pay attention to how much insulin you still have on you, dumbass! I almost had a heart attack thanks to you!"
"R-right... sorry." He apologized, scratching the back of his head.
"You better be sorry. You should thank whichever miracle rewound time or we would have lost our hero leader."
➤𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎: Dovahkiin has acquired the ability to move objects and people in time.
You turned towards your best friend after reading that, your grin widening, you knew he had some powers, guess he got some new ones now. You went and hugged him as well, catching him off guard and making him stumble.
"...and the miracle in question is right here! So my best friend can move objects in time?! How cool is that?!" You tightened your hug around the boy, your voice lowered and got softer, "Thank you for saving Scott, Dovah."
He only nodded in response. He was flustered as well but didn't show it. He should've gotten used to you hugging him because you were kind of a touchy and affectionate friend, but he was weak to your hugs and couldn't help but feel all warm and fuzzy every time you did it.
He already felt lucky when you decided to use that death trap at Kyle's house together, now this? This was his night. He loved his powers.
"Alright," you let go of him and went to stand between the two boys, "no more of this stuff, let's report to the Raccoon, okay?"
They nodded. Scott took his phone out and called Cartman, who responded fast.
"RACCOON FRIENDS! WE FOUND THE FEMALE, BUT SHE'S ESCAPED TO THE ITALIAN RESTAURANT! REQUESTING BACKUP!"
You had no clue why he used 'female' instead of any other word and why he was shouting like that, but you just went along with it.
"YOU HEARD HIM! ALL RACCOON FRIENDS TO THE BUCA DE FAGGONCINI!" The call ended with Cartman's announcement.
"Alright, let's go inside!" You said, clearly happy. With the weight of Scott's death off your should and with the knowledge of Dovah's new powers you felt a lot less 'fuck this' regarding the mission, knowing nothing bad could happen and that nobody died yet.
You had forgotten about the fact you'll have to deal with the mafia though. Oops.
Scott followed behind you and Dovah as you entered the Italian restaurant, one thought in his mind.
You weren't even remotely as bad as rumours and your reputation made you out to be. You were quite... cute.
He'd have to try and talk with you during school too.
𝘓𝘢 𝘝𝘪𝘵𝘢 𝘊𝘰𝘮'è - 𝘔𝘢𝘹 𝘎𝘢𝘻𝘻è
1:09 ━━❍─────── 3:35
↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺
Once inside, you made your way through the restaurant, listening to people's conversations and finding that most of them were talking about druggies or alcoholics which... was weird, but alright.
You noticed Cartman, Clyde and Kyle at a table and walked to it, followed by your teammates.
"There they are!" The Raccoon exclaimed, noticing you all once his eyes left the myriad of breadsticks he was eating, "Where's the girl?!"
You stared at him incredulously, your happy mood from before diminishing a bit. How could he not have noticed her getting in if he was right there, at a table in the middle of the restaurant?
"She was just here! You didn't see her come in?" Scott asked, to which Cartman responded with a very obvious made-up on-the-spot excuse.
"Uh, no. We were busy... syncing our watches." Kyle by his eyes visibly glared at the dumb excuse the group's leader gave.
"No, we were looking at menus. Because Cartman made us order food." He admitted, glaring at the boy sitting next to him.
"Fighting crime on an empty stomach is very dangerous, Human Kite! It's for your own good." The brunette said while waving a breadstick in his left hand.
"Cartman." The way you said his name made him shiver, surprising the four boys around you two. He knew what it meant, he didn't like it one bit.
You place your hands on their table and lower yourself a bit so you can look him straight in the eyes.
"So, according to what Human Kite just said... you've been here, eating, ordering food the whole time we were on the mission, cause I highly doubt you managed to get here and order food and receive 78 servings of breadsticks between the 7 seconds it took us to end the call with you and enter here..." Your voice dropped lower, "While us, poor assholes, had to fight through a horde of angry strippers, got almost turned into human pancakes by Spontaneous Bootay, got almost shot by a mafia member, got almost squashed by a sign and had one of us die for a couple of minutes?"
You smiled at him.
"Cartman."
"...Yes?"
Your smile dropped.
"I'm going to fucking kill you tomorrow."
"No, you ar-"
"I am."
"ⁿᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉⁿ'ᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵇⁱᵗᶜʰ."
"Did you say something?" You glared at him.
The other boys were stuck between deciding if they should intervene or enjoy the show since a scared Cartman getting threatened by a girl is wonderful entertainment. They had a mission to complete though, so Clyde decided to, regretfully, save Cartman's skin.
He coughed, catching your attention. Cartman let out an inaudible sigh of relief at that.
"Classi couldn't have left - we would've seen her go out the front door." He said with his nasal voice.
"Well, then maybe she's in the back!" Exclaimed Scott.
"Ok, you guys check it out. Call us if you need help. We'll be waiting for you with our breadsticks." He said it again. The audacity.
"I will stick all those breadsticks up your ass Cartman-" You would've finished your sentence, had Dovahkiin not been dragging you towards the kitchen.
Before entering the kitchen, you swore you heard Cartman scream something along the lines of "You fucking Jew! You should've shut the fuck up and gone along with my excuse!". Same old Cartman.
𝘝𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘪 𝘮𝘢 𝘯𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘰 - 𝘑-𝘈𝘟 & 𝘍𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘻
0:54 ━━❍─────── 3:45
↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺
"How dare you treat my kitchen like a rinky-kink trattoria, pezzi di merda!" That's how it started.
Never had you thought you would find yourself fighting Italian chefs in a restaurant's kitchen in your entire life, but now that you found yourself doing it, it wasn't the weirdest thing you had ever done. It was quite fun, watching those big men trying to hit you while you kept destroying bags of flour and creating clouds of it so you could blind them momentarily.
"I'm sending you home to mama in the doggy bag." You heard the head chef say before healing one of his allies that were about to fall from Scott and Cartman's combined hits. You now remembered why you hated healers in every single RPG game.
Not losing focus, you quickly gave Kyle a buff to his Spunk stat, making it surpass the max level, with it now being 12, and went back to hitting and messing with the cook you decided to deal with. If they have a healer, you might as well help yours so he becomes better than theirs, right?
You try and use an upward strike on the man, but it somehow gets blocked and he grabs your bo.
"I'm gonna violate your health code!" He said as he got ready to attack you.
"Ma che cazzo vuol dire?" One of his allies asked out of nowhere.
"Ma che ne so! Pensa a pestare sti bimbetti e sta zitto!" He scoffed, then tried to land a kick to your stomach, but it ends up not hurting at all.
A blue kite-shaped shield appeared around you, and you took advantage of the moment the cook stumbled, having hit the shield and not you, to take the staff back from his hands and deal a strong hit right to the side of his head. You then proceeded to hit him multiple times as he was still unable to block you or retaliate. A few hits later, he was on the ground.
You looked to your left at the guy that gave you the shield.
"Thank you, Human Kite!" You thank him, watching a small smile appear on his face.
"Just repaying the favour." He seemed to notice the confused expression on your face, so he pointed to the buff to his spunk displayed above his head. You nod your head in understanding, walking to your next target.
However, it made no sense to you, how was he able to see that? Weren't you the only one that could see the buffs you give? It was no time for those questions, you'll eventually find a way to ask him about it, but you had to fight people right now, so you had to concentrate on that.
"Oh, mamma mia. Mi sembra di essere al macello qui." Commented the head chef once he noticed two of his helpers were already down.
You all made quick work of the remaining enemies thanks to Cartman's AOE ultimate attack, which you had to admit was useful considering it also gave the bleeding status effects to the enemies.
"Now go tell everyone you cut yourself manscaping." That comment of his almost made you laugh.
𝘛𝘪 𝘧𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘯𝘦 - 𝘊𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘻𝘻𝘢
1:15 ━━❍─────── 4:10
↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺
Cartman and Kyle were out of the kitchen as soon as the battle was done, probably going to eat the food they had ordered and that had probably been delivered to the table Clyde was still at. Shout-out to him for not even trying to help, by the way.
You were standing a few meters away from your teammates, refusing to believe what you were witnessing.
Now, you knew Scott couldn't use his diabetic rage off-combat because he had no insulin left, but you could've done so many things to reach the door that didn't include destroying things to tipping things over. Like jumping over the barrels right next to the thing the guys wanted to tip over, or anything else.
Those two had another idea in their head though. That idea? Dovah had to fart on Scott's face. Why? Because farts made him extremely angry, which activates his diabetic rage and he had to use no insulin as he wasn't drinking his apple juice.
Was it gross? Yes. Did you hate having to witness it? Also yes. Were you going to act as if you never saw it? Absolutely. Did it work though? Surprisingly, yes.
"That was the worst thing I've seen tonight." That was the only thing you managed to say before entering the next room.
Which was a room full of cats, each one stuck in a different cage. Poor kittens.
"Oh, man! We gotta tell the guys." Scott called Cartman.
You take a look at the cats around. You had found a picture of Scrambles online, so you knew what the furry fellow looked like, but none of the cats there seemed to be it.
Moving a cage with a golden bottom out of the way with Dovah's help, you both keep searching for your target, but to no avail.
"Dude! Is Scrambles one of them?"
"Nope!" You exclaimed from your side of the room, answering Cartman's question.
"And what about the girl?"
"We're still tracking her!"
"We have to find out what she knows. Get going!" He turned off the call, breadsticks still in his hand. How many had he eaten? Three hundred?
"We're so close I can smell it!" Weird thing to say, Scott, but alright, "Come on, sidekicks!"
He motioned for you two to follow him to the door with a 'Private' label on it. He placed an ear on the door and listened for a few seconds.
"Hold on, sidekicks. Sounds like there could be trouble behind that door." He got away from the door and took a few steps back.
"There's someone in there. Get ready... One. Two. Diabetes!"
He barged into the room headfirst, almost breaking the door down.
And there, waiting for you all, were four mobsters playing poker, Classi standing behind the further one from you all.
"See, I told you the cops were chasing me!" She accused you all of being cops once again, hands on her hips.
"And you led them here, you stupid bitch?!" Was the response of one of the mobsters, who honestly wasn't wrong. Had you really been cops it would've been quite the fuck-up leading you all to the criminals protecting her.
"Uh-uh, who you calling a stupid bitch? DO I look like your mama!" You refrained from laughing at that, even though you really wanted to.
"These kids are cops?!" The mobster with the striped dress shirt stared at the three of you incredulously. Which was understandable. Kids being cops? Weird.
"Not really, no." You replied.
"That ain't a cop..." Despite the situation, you almost smiled at that one man that got up and turned towards you guys. He was the only one with a working brain cell between all of them.
"That's Captain Diabetes!" He pointed at Scott, "When he was born his mom farted during labour and it gave him diabetes that he uses to fight crime!"
'I... Is that his backstory? It's almost worse than mine.'
"That is NOT how people get diabetes!" Scott complained. At least he knew that.
"If they aren't cops - Then we can shoot 'em! Along with THIS bitch too!" One of them pointed a gun at you all, Classi included, and they moved towards the door, forcing you all to the other side of the room. The one with the striped shirt locked the door.
"Aw shit, y'all turning on me?! I knew I shouldn't have went into business with y'all Tony Soprano-looking motherfuckers!" Classi's complaints went ignored by the four mobsters, who had their eyes set on Scott instead.
With a gun pointed to your companion's head, he went to press the trigger, "So long... Captain Diabetes. Let's see your diabetes save you now."
Surely he wouldn't die, would he? Dovah could always rewind time and avoid this situation, right? There is no way Scott would die ag-
"I WANT MY KEEEYS!" Or a raging, drunk Randy with his pants pulled down could barge into the room and start threatening and hitting all the mobsters with a glass of wine, that could work too.
"He's wasted on red wine!"
"Red-wine drunk is the worst drunk there is!" But it's the best kind of drunk you could hope to meet when someone's trying to kill you, apparently.
Until he turns around and starts threatening you instead.
"All right, Captain Diabetes... THIS IS IT... Give me.. my FUCKIN' keys." Now that you looked at him, as he struggled to walk properly towards you three, you could notice the aftermath of the bruises you all dealt to him back when he was in front of his house. They looked like they hurt. A lot.
It'll be a problem explaining how he got them to his wife or his kids, especially Stan who saw you right in front of your beaten up and fainted dad. Good thing he would never speak to you one-on-one and that you aren't in his team, right?
"YOU are in no condition to drive!" Scott pointed at him, rejecting his not-so-kind request.
"Do we really have to fight him again? Can't we just give him his keys?" You asked, hoping to avoid the fight.
"No! He can't drive in that state!" Was your team leader's response. You looked to Dovah, but he shook his head as well. You sighed.
"Then... DIEEEEEEEE!"
You sure hoped you wouldn't have to give any explanation to his son or family, because it would be hard as hell to explain to someone why you had to beat their dad twice without making you sound either a psycho, evil or deserving of prison.
"I really really hate this job." You got in your fighting stance, bo ready in your right hand, "Y'all want to fight way too much."
╔═══━━━━ • ━━━━═══╗
𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄?
➤【𝒀𝑬𝑺】 『𝐍𝐎』
╚═══━━━━ • ━━━━═══╝
╔═══━━━━ • ━━━━═══╗
𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐃
╚═══━━━━ • ━━━━═══╝
𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀 ⌧
➤ I took some artistic liberties with some of the stuff the cooks said because... Italian- asdfghjkl. In case you want to know what they said: "Ma che cazzo vuol dire?"= "What the fuck does that mean?" | "Ma che ne so! Pensa a pestare sti bimbetti e sta zitto!" = "How should I know?! Think about beating these kids up and shut up!" | "Oh, mamma mia. Mi sembra di essere al macello qui."= " - I feel like I'm at the slaughterhouse here." The chapter's title? It can be roughly translated to "What a fucking mess" or "Fuck, what a mess." ig?? I'm bad at translating stuff into english lmao.