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R.HAMILTON
"All those trays of canapes will go to waste now," River sighed as she looked back towards the building. Something managed to set the fire alarm off which instantly turned the sprayers on, and everything, including the art on the walls, got drenched. River barely made it out, and now the crown of her head was damp.
Everyone who attended seemed displeased, some of them even worried, while others just wanted to get home. The scene attracted those on the street, an elderly lady even asked what happened and if the people were safe.
"Are you hungry?"
River nearly toppled over at the sound of Harry's question. "Starving."
"I know a place," Harry offered, eyes averted with some embarrassment which no doubt came from the moment they shared inside the building. Hamilton didn't know how to process the past events, but she found she'd have to face them before the end of the evening.
"Well... I suppose we have some time," River sighed as she gave in but it wasn't really a bother for her. In fact, she was thrilled to spend the night with Harry, and visit wherever he wanted to take her because it was new.
Harry seemed to give her a one over, and she frowned without meaning to react. "Will you be able to walk in those shoes?"
The question made River laugh, and almost slump her shoulders in relief. "Of course."
"Okay," he nodded, but didn't believe her and she knew it. Harry had a very expressive face, and nothing ever stayed hidden within. If he tried, he failed, but River didn't know if she had the right to tell him.
Truth be told, heels had the tendency to kill River's feet. Events like tonight were fine because they lasted a few hours, but to walk in them for a while? Everyone under the sun was going to be cursed by her tonight.
The music of the night carried the two of them through the streets. Their shoes tapped the asphalt, the cars wheezed past as if they ran on borrowed time. Honks and tire screeching, the odd shout in the distance. All of it brought a sense of comfort to River for it made her realise she was safe.
Harry almost felt like a threat to her, she acknowledged. He was new in her life, a foreign individual who happened to be at every corner she passed. When River put things into perspective, like tonight as she walked through the streets of her home, she realised everything was still the same.
She almost grew frustrated with herself because she couldn't understand the sudden change. No one had the chance to become a thorn in her side like this. No one had put her out of place like this before.
"For what it's worth, some of those paintings were cool," his words broke the silence, and the wheel of thoughts that revolved completely around him in River's head. "Not the naked, faceless woman, because I still think that's just lack of skill—or she got bored with it," he laughed to himself, quietly, and just for a second. That, and his comment was enough to force River's lips upwards. "But the rest... they were alright."
"Hmmm," she reacted, unsure how to word her thoughts. Certainly not the ones about her losing control around him. But the ones that she now realised were not present. River had no idea how to respond to him. "You know nothing about art."
The words were in the air and she almost twisted her ankle as she stepped on something hard and sharp on the floor. Harry was there before she could've hurt herself, his voice a firm cut through evening as he called her name, his hands on her arm as he kept her upright.
River's heart beat in her ears as Harry asked, "Are you alright?" and didn't let go of her until she nodded. "Jesus Christ—those shoes should not be on your feet. They're a safety hazard."
"They're so pretty," she argued as she looked at him. His face still filled with worry—eyebrows pinched.
"Be that as it may, you nearly broke your neck," he countered and River could've sworn she felt his touch firm around her arm at the same time.
"Yes, well," she cleared her throat and reached up to brush the hair back from her face. Harry's hands remained on her arm but she couldn't complain. The pain pulsed in her ankle, and she needed the support. "Beauty is pain."
"Again—I hope you don't live by that belief," he commented and moved slightly to bend his arm as he offered it up to River. "Lean on me if you need to, or we can call an Uber?"
"Uber?" she questioned.
Harry opened his mouth to say something then closed it. A second passed before, "Anthony. Anthony can pick us up, right?"
"He could," she nodded. They started walking as they silently agreed to continue on. River could tough it out. She wasn't a crybaby. Not always, anyway. "Where were we?" she wondered as she tried and failed to not focus solely on the warmth and comfort she got from Harry as their arms remained linked, their sides almost touched. "Oh—art."
"Mhm," Harry hummed, the sound now much closer to River than it was before. Until now, she didn't pick up on the breeze around them too much, either. "It's always been a luxury I could never afford," he said like it was not one of the most vulnerable things he ever shared with her. Something about the tone of his voice made River believe he was being honest, awfully so. "My priorities shifted early on in my life, and it's quite surprising just how much a person has to say no when forced."
"I'm sorry to hear that," she said, and meant it, her hand now on his forearm as she gave him a gentle squeeze. Where it usually came across like an automated response to something tragic, River felt true pain for his story. She didn't know why because she didn't care for Harry, not more than she had before, yet something about the way he treated the topic like it didn't matter to him made her want to put in his half of the pity.
"It is what it is," he said, and, from the corner of her eye, it looked like he shrugged.
River contemplated asking a question that danced on the tip of her tongue, then decided to go for it because she had nothing to lose. "Have you heard from either of your parents after everything? Have you reconnected at all?"
Harry chuckled but didn't say anything at first. River assumed he wanted to move on when the silence continued but then he went, "Nick invited both of them to his wedding, and neither of them showed up. As much as everyone expected it, it still stung and I could see it in my brother that it affected him."
"And you?"
Ever so slightly, Harry turned towards River but she kept looking ahead. "What about me?"
"How did that make you feel?" she asked. "When they didn't turn up."
"It wasn't my wedding. I didn't have a right to feel any way about it," he answered.
"Sure, you did," she countered right away, slightly offended by what he said. It took her a moment to reign in her emotions, and as she looked to him, she could see he was surprised by her intense reaction. River cleared her throat, and said, "Whether something affects you directly or not, your feelings are valid, and you should always embrace them so you can understand yourself, and grow. No one ever got better by repressing their emotions, and I'm certain no one ever will."
Harry hummed and denied River any other response. Of course, she knew she was right. If anything ever helped her in life it was the therapy sessions she attended without anyone's knowledge. For her mother to find out River needed a professional's help to deal with her day-to-day feelings and thoughts would mean additional sessions booked, and to be completely honest, River liked where she was in that moment. The fact that she sort of exposed herself in front of Harry was bad enough already but she hoped he didn't read too much into it.
A couple of minutes later, Harry inhaled suddenly. It drove River to look at him, and she saw how torn he was. Something bothered him, that much was obvious, but he soon confirmed it.
"About before... what happened back there?" he said. "It was nothing. Right?"
"Pardon?"
Harry exhaled again. "The, uh, save? With my ex there..."
"Oh," River chuckled. The sound made Harry's brows furrow. "That was nothing, Harry. Don't worry about it."
"Ah, alright," he mumbled, and he sounded like he was fine again, except when River looked at him, she saw that his facial expression remained the same. "It's just—I don't know. The fact that she is with him, and everything... it felt embarrassing."
Even though River never experienced anything like it before, she could imagine it didn't feel the best to be in his shoes. Once more, the pure need to know started to claw at her, and she couldn't take it—not around Harry, ever.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"About my ex?" River hummed. Harry sighed. "Depends. What's your question?"
"How did it happen?" she wondered, though the question failed to cover her genuine thoughts. "How did she tell you what was happening? Did she text you?"
"I wish she texted me," he answered with a breathy chuckle. "No, she actually told me. Face to face."
"Brave," River noted.
Harry hummed in agreement, she concluded. "It was. Despite the fact that she'd done what she did, I was surprised she came to me head-on."
"And she knew that she was pregnant with another man's child—how?" she asked, and the sudden pain in her ankle came back. It was difficult not to think about it but perhaps it was harder to accept how close she was to Harry, and act in a way that wasn't awkward. "It could've been yours."
"We..." another sigh, one that sounded like he didn't want to rehash the memories of his old wounds. River was too interested to stop him. Harry didn't back out, either. "It wasn't a good time for us so sex wasn't in the cards for a while. Even I knew it wasn't mine."
How was she supposed to react? Although the answers satisfied River's curiosity, she didn't know if she should've comforted Harry, thanked him for opening up, or relate to his case. Comfort was kind of out of the window—they weren't close enough. Thank him? Seemed a little condescending. Relating to him was also negative because River didn't have an ex therefore she hasn't been cheated on therefore never had anyone tell her they are pregnant with someone else's child. Definitely not her best friend's.
Jesus. She somehow completely blanked on that piece of information.
"It happened a couple of years ago now, and I was over it a lot quicker than I anticipated," Harry continued like he found some form of freedom in his honesty, and it didn't really matter who he spoke to which made River sigh with relief. "The time we spent apart was already a sign to me, and when she faced me, I was... prepared. Is that wrong to say? I—" he laughed. "—I never said that out loud before."
"Are you saying my brother doesn't know?"
"Alden?" he asked back while they came to a stop at the red light. "No. You're the only person I ever told."
"Oh, that's brilliant," she grinned like a Cheshire cat, much too pleased to know she had one thing over her brother. The rivalry never ended, no matter the situation—though, River knew she couldn't very well tell Alden any of this. Yes, River was a gossip but she knew where to draw the line. "Not your experience, of course. Simply the fact that I have one over my brother."
"Sure," Harry nodded, and tried to bite down on the smile that wanted to curl on his lips. Why did he persist it so much? It didn't make any sense. Always grumpy, furrow-browed like he had something against the world. Well, after the story he shared about his parents and ex-partner River couldn't blame him but still...
Eventually, they got to their final destination, and Harry ordered without asking for River's preferences. After he paid, again, without River's input, he turned to her and promised that this will be the best food she has ever had.
Considering that it came from a van, parked on the side of the road, and it smelled of grease, River didn't have much faith.
Not even when Harry picked up the paper plates, red and white squared, and nodded towards the bench on the other side of the road. Dressed the way they were it was truly ridiculous to anyone around them but Harry didn't seem to care. All River could think about were the people who looked back once they passed her, and the chuckles that came from them. She inhaled deeply and fought to block them from her mind but for some reason, she failed to feel better.
"You look confused," Harry said suddenly.
"I'm not confused," she countered. "I'm fine."
The response made Harry chuckle as he spoke, "If there's one thing I have learnt is that 'fine' is never a true answer."
"Why would I lie?"
"Many reasons," he concluded while he focused on his food, and River didn't know how to look away from him. Beneath the street light, dressed in smart clothes, he looked—different. Good different. It started to confuse River because Harry was the last person she ever wanted to think about in any way, much less in a positive way.
Petty as she may have come across, it still bothered her to know what Harry said about her, when she didn't have any leg to stand on to hate him. Other than the fact that he unsettled her like no one had done before, she couldn't hate him. She didn't care for him enough, though annoyingly, she had a feeling this was changing.
River stuck her fork in the chips that were topped with cheese, creamy and much too orange to not be completely processed, and brought the bite to her lips. It steamed and warmed her face as she blew on it, then carefully took it into her mouth and had to hold herself back from a moan. It tasted so much better than she expected, her mouth salivated as she chewed on the food.
"How's your brother?" she asked him to take the attention away from her, and the obvious judgement she held towards the food in her hands, the place Harry had taken her. She didn't expect to enjoy it so much, and she felt guilty for the thoughts she had. "Christian."
It might've been River's imagination, but it seemed like Harry stiffened at the sound of his brother's name. "He is getting there."
"Hm," she responded, and took another bite of the food. It certainly wasn't good for her, and she heard her mother's voice echo in the back of her head, but for now, for this one night, she decided to go against all of those thoughts. "Your brother—Nick, did you ever tell him?"
Harry raised his brows in question. "What makes you think I didn't tell him?"
With a shrug, River said, "He seemed very present earlier today. Very upbeat, and excited. I assumed he hid it well but of course it's always better to ask."
"Why do you care if I told him or not?"
"Just making conversation," she answered simply. It was as much for his reassurance as her own because everything that ever happened between them, all of their conversations, the way they evolved and grew, had begun to change her viewpoint, her feelings. River didn't want to admit it to anyone, much less to herself, but she started to like Harry's company.
"Nick doesn't know what happened, and that's Chris's request. I won't go against it because it won't be worth losing his trust," he gave in eventually, opened up in a way that he'd done moments ago about his ex-girlfriend, and again—that feeling.
It was strange. River couldn't explain it. Why did her heart squeeze? The shiver that ran down her spine was easily explained by the cool breeze that brushed against her skin.
River had to take a second to inhale and recompose herself.
"Gosh, I absolutely fucked up any chance I had to reconcile with Henriette."
Harry didn't hesitate to ask, "Why do you think that?"
"Didn't go over too well, did it?" she frowned, her attention on the basket of chips as she stabbed and stabbed and stabbed away at the pile. "I was not on top of my game tonight, and considering that all of her work just got ruined due to a false fire alarm and sprinkles going off, I can't even contribute towards her success."
"There are other ways to make peace with someone, you know," he commented ever so quietly, almost as if he feared he would offend River but she didn't understand why. Harry noted the confusion in River, this time rightly so, and he added, "Money doesn't always solve issues. Sometimes, a kind gesture speaks louder than anything else."
"Either way, tonight was unsuccessful."
"I'm sorry," Harry sighed, and the silence swallowed up the sound of his voice.
"I'm going to call Anthony to pick us up," River announced once she felt she couldn't sit there anymore, not with the way she wished to be closer to Harry like she was at the hospital, to feel the warmth radiate from him like a human radiator.
Harry didn't say anything in response, and maybe that was for the better. The evening turned out differently than how River planned, much less imagined. It wasn't the worst but it was also not ideal. Granted, she invited Harry out tonight, she did not expect to be kissing him, or getting food with him.
Fuck.
She was nearly kissing him. Harry Styles. The man who did not like her for reasons unbeknownst to her. The man who she offered to help on multiple occasions because her heart couldn't beat in peace, nor could her brain stop overworking itself whenever he was around.
Confused. Yeah. River was confused, and she needed alone time more than anything else to come to terms with her feelings. Perhaps a therapy session was due given how much had changed in her life since the last one, though she certainly didn't need a professional to tell her where all those changes rooted from. It sat by her. He sat by her.
Though, River realised it was not nearly as crazy as she first thought. No, it sort of made sense, and that was the scariest part of it all.
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Happy Friday!
River is officially in her Confused Era. My girl got a whiplash from almost breaking her ankle, and neck, so I can't blame her. It's interesting, though - how she is keeping back because Harry makes her feel out of her comfort zone, but also because she feel Harry doesn't like her so she doesn't want to like him in response.
It would've been so interesting to see into Harry's mind whilst this evening took place but I think it might be best to keep his thoughts a secret for now. It'd probably be too much to explore with everything that's going on with him, bless.
As I was proof reading this chapter, I realised just how much I love building up relationships. Every single one of my stories on here takes forever to establish because I go into so much detail to create these characters, and sometimes, I feel like it's annoying to read because it takes so long to see them together, but then I just remind myself of the old times when I used to read fics everyday and how much I hated when they were dating by chapter 10 and arguing and breaking up by 15.
I promise we'll see Riverry together but I don't want them to suddenly change you know that would feel wrong to do. Anyway. Just a random thought I had while reading.
Thank you so much for all the love on the previous chapter! I could tell we needed that breakthrough for Riverry :) Hopefully things go better from here on now! Drama is definitely bubbling, and I'm excited to see how it'll burst.
Until then...
Love, B xx