I've been isolating myself since the incident two nights ago.
It's now Christmas Eve and I've never felt so alone. Mild usually came here but his grands came down here so he couldn't leave the house. My cousin won't be here before tomorrow, so it was just me and my mum now.
I usually spent the night downstairs, gossiping with my mum while we baked tons of cookies for the family during Xmas, but I don't feel like it today.
I know it's dumb to strain my tradition just because a dumb and assholish hot fucker, but I can't help how I feel. I just felt so down and tired and gloomy and just... not Christmassy, I didn't even change my outfit to our usual Xmas theme one. I stayed in my plain black hoodie and grey sweatpants, curling on my bed under piles of blankets.
Pathetic, I know, but whatever, it's not like someone would judge me.
Brother M:
MERRY XMAS EVEN GULFIE-PUFFIE!!!
Gulfie:
merry Xmas eve, Mild
Brother M:
Still so gloomy?
Gulfie:
Hm
Brother M:
Never thought I could feel someone's
sadness over text but seems like I'm wrong.
D'ya want me to come over?
I can ditch them,
Gulfie:
No, Mild. I'll be fine.
Just spend time with your fam,
they miss you
Brother M:
I'm coming over next morning
whether you like it or not
And you better use our Xmas theme sweater.
Gulfie:
ok
Brother M:
I love you, Gulfieee
Gulfie:
ilyt, Mi-Mild
"Gulf? Dear, are you in there?"
"Yes, mum,"
"Do you want the cookies, darling? I've baked them,"
"No, thanks"
"Darling, are you okay?"
"Just leave me alone, mum," I mumbled out tiredly.
I heard my mum sigh loudly followed by footsteps that slowly faded. My phone pinged again and I grabbed it lazily.
Alex:
[picture attached] MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Ashley:
[picture attached] Merry Christmas everyone!
Kellin:
[picture attached] Yo, Merry Christmas!
Bleta:
[picture attached] ^^
Anyway, where are Jack and Gulf?
Jack:
Here with Alex, sorry busy
Kellin:
Busy making out
Ashley:
You know it, Kel
Alex:
Shut up, you do that too with that boy of yours
...
I sighed before tossing my phone aside, watching it tumble before hitting the carpet-covered floor. I really wish I have someone with me tonight. They're so lucky to have lots of fun.
Should I send them the picture?
But what's the use anyway? I can't pretend to be his boyfriend anymore. If they find out about the truth and throw me away, they could kiss my ass. Anything is better than to be with that asshole. I swear he's the worst outta the worst.
Though some of our 'better' memories flashed in my mind, I still can't forgive him for what he did.
"Gulf, can I come in?" I groaned out loud at my mum's call but then feel guilty for getting mad at her.
"I don't want it, mum. Just leave me alone,"
"Oh, c'mon, you can't stay there and be a big glum at night like this," I groaned again at her but walked to my door nonetheless. I flicked the lock open and pulled the door slowly.
I gasped as I was met with icy brown eyes and that fucking messy yet fluffy hair of his, while my mum stood behind him way too excitedly,
"Mew wants to see you. I'll leave you guys alone, have fun but not too much, I'll be downstairs," I froze at the door as he casually slipped into my room.
W- wait, what?
Mum, what the fuck? Why do you let him in?
Why is he even here anyway?
"M-mum, what the fuck?"
"Have fun, honey! And Mew, remember our talk, I trust you!"
You trusted the wrong person, mother.
I closed the door behind me slowly, pressing my back onto it as I looked at him in pure confusion.
"What?" the fucking audacity of this asshole!
"What are you doing here?" I coldly asked.
"I'm here to confront you."
"Ha?"
"I've waited for you to apologise but you never did."
"w- WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE? Enlighten me, why the fuck I should be the one to apologise to someone like YOU when IT WAS YOU that HAS TO BE apologising!" I yelled out loud, not caring about if my mum heard it from downstairs.
"Did you forget? You slapped me and told me to die and rot in hell."
"And!? You fucking deserve it! You shouldn't even be here anyway"
"Shut up!" He said in his lowest tone. Voice so deep that it caused me to freeze again. He slammed me onto my door and pressed his body against mine.
"Wh- what are you doing?"
"You're my kitten and only mine, remember that!"
"M- Mew, ba- back off!"
"No, I want you to listen to me!"
"I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU!" I yelled out again.
"Do you like me?"
"Just get off, I don't wanna talk to you, I don't wanna see you, I fucking hate you, don't you understand me!?"
"Gulf, I'm asking you; Do. You. Like. Me?" He sounds so intimidating and honestly, I'm scared but I need to stand my ground.
"Mew, I meant it," I mumbled out tiredly as I threw my gaze to the ground.
"Better question; do you love me?" I tsked and confidently locked my gaze with his as I glared sharply,
"Mew, I've warned you twice and if you don't back off now I'll scream for my mum,"
"I'm asking you, Do. You. Love. Me?" I glared even sharper at him and opened my mouth to scream. Mew muffled my voice with his hand, eyes glaring sharply at me. I glared back at him, challenging him with my eyes,
"Honey, is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine, Mum, just spiders" The asshole smoothly lied.
"Oh, okay then,"
"Le- go- off- me"
"Will you answer me now?" I nodded my head at him but smirk internally,
"One more time, do you love me?"
"No. I meant what I said in the café. Done means done, and I am DONE with you. I don't wanna play this game anymore, I'm tired of your shits and I'm tired of being treated like a pet. I'm a human being, Mew! I have feelings and a heart! I have emotion! You can't treat me like I'm nothing but a fucking rag doll!"
"Are you done?"
"No. I want you to know that it's not fine to treat me like this, or any person in general. I need you to know that I'm so fucking exhausted with your assholish behaviour and arrogant act. I'm so, so fucking done with the way you're so nice to others but such an evil to me. You didn't understand me, you don't even try to understand me, and yet you said I'm the one that doesn't understand you. Because mind you, SUPPASIT, I've tried and tried more than that I could count but it was you that keep giving the mixed signals and being way too complicated for any sane person to understand, it was you all the way and yet you always blame me. So, please, if you're here just for another game, leave."
"What if I'm not?"
"I know you are, I'm not blind, Mew. I won't fall for another trap of yours, just leave!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, so please, fucking leave!"
"No, not without you listening to me,"
"What's there to listen to? Just leave me, I don't wanna scream again."
"You won't listen? Fine"
He grabbed both of my cheeks in one hand and slammed his lips to mine, harshly moulding them with his. I stood there in shock, frozen and can't comprehend anything. I gasped in surprise as he bit on my bottom lip before slowly pulling away.
"There,"
"W- what just happened?"
"I give you a necklace to prove that you're mine." A necklace? I reached my hand to my chest and surely there was a chain hanging from my neck. Was I really that dazed to notice he put something around my neck?
I picked the pendant up and examined it. It said M's just like that dumb collar he gave me weeks ago, but this one was cursive and look like human jewellery instead of pets.
"Is this... is this my Christmas present?"
"Kinda, will you listen to me now?" I looked everywhere but his intimidating that's now suddenly soft brown eyes. He grabbed my chin in between his fingers, holding it gently so I would look at him.
"You're mine and only mine. I meant it, Gulf." Though it sounds so wrong and just like his other games, I burst into tears and hugged him tightly. To my surprise, he just held me back and let me bawl my eyes out.
"Th- thank you, you'll- you'll never understand how- how much this means t- to me,"
It's not fair that he basically made me hope again, but I'm so happy so it's okay (for now at least). I feel so dumb for falling into another trap or game or whatever the fuck this is that he's playing but my heart is such a betrayer that even my brain feel so damn done with it but I really can't help it. Call me an idiot or whatever you wish, but I really can't stay away from him.
He walked us to my bed and placed me on his lap. He rocked us back and forth slowly, his hand rubbing my back soothingly. I clutched his shirt in my fist, hiding my face in the crook of his neck as tears keep pouring down my cheeks.
"Stop it, your mum gonna cut my balls if she heard you crying,"
"I can't- I can't help it. I'm hurt but- but I'm so happy. I h-hate you b- but this makes me feel so liked. I- I" I burst into another fit of sobs and buried my face back in the crook of his neck.
"Oh, c'mon, what are your friends gonna say if they see you crying during Christmas?" He softly yet teasingly said.
"I haven't sent them anything," I mumbled out in between sobs.
"Another reason for you to stop crying," His hands moved to my hair and carded the mess of brown locks softly.
"I'm sorry for your shirt," I mumbled out in between sobs.
"It's fine,"
"N- no, not this one, the one that I used to days ago. I- I burned them,"
"Oh, that's okay I guess. I can just buy a new one,"
"O- okay..."
"Go wash your face. You were supposed to build the ginger house, weren't you?" Mew softly said as he tapped my thigh as my cue to get up. I nodded my head at him, cheeks flaming red at the affection.
I got up and walked to my closet, grabbing some better clothes before walking to the bathroom. I washed my face clean and then changed my clothes before walking back into my room.
"Done?"
"Y- yeah,"
"Well c'mon then, I bet she's waiting. She's kinda sad when I came because you, unfortunately, locked yourself up here instead of doing your tradition with her, but we're gonna fix that now," I frowned at his words, the guilt for ignoring my mum slowly building up in my stomach.
We walked side by side down the stairs and my mum smiled widely at the sight of me (or us, I don't know.)
"That's my baby!" I chuckled at her words before throwing myself into her arms, hugging her tightly.
"I'm sorry, mum"
"It's okay, darling. You're fine now and that's what matters,"
"Yeah, but still sorry though,"
"Oh, hush up. Let's build the house now, shall we? Mew, you in?"
"Sure, sounds like fun,"