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Something came up,
So I can't complete Cherry Cola Bae's new chapter just yet, so here's
an update for FTSOL :)
You'll hate me for this btw hahaha
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"Gulf, wake up. It's time,"
"Uh?"
"It's seven now, the lights are all on," Mew said as he keep shaking my body gently.
"Oh..."
I rolled off of the bed and walked into the bathroom, tidying up my hair a tiny bit along with my- Mew's shirt. We changed into his spare clothes before resting. And yes, we slept in the same bed. Nothing happened though, but I truly wish something did.
"We're going out right?" I asked him as I tried to find my phone.
"No, we're taking a picture from the balcony."
"Why?"
"So it'll be more romantic? I don't know, just think that it would be better," Mew said, shrugging his broad shoulder.
"O- oh..."
"C'mere," I walked towards Mew who is already on the balcony, instantly shivering at how cold it was outside. I looked in the distance and instantly smiled at how pretty they are. The lights, the ornament, the busy street, the people passing by, just everything looks so pretty from up here. Everyone looks o overjoyed and there are tons of people that are also taking pictures.
"Pretty isn't it?" Mew suddenly asked.
"Very,"
"I thought you would love it and seems like I'm not wrong." Mew proudly said, a soft smile lingering on his face instead of his smug smirk and I can't help but smile even wider.
"I do, very much."
"It'll look better from up here, hence why I'm reserving a room,"
"Oh? Th- thank you," I said, looking at Mew with beaming eyes. He nodded at me before looking back at the street. I can't believe he's doing this for me.
"Your phone or mine?"
"Can we use mine?" I asked him and he nodded.
"Sure."
"How are we gonna do it?"
"Just do it like you're taking a normal selfie, what are you talking about?"
"The height difference won't make it a normal selfie, Mew. And If I bring it up, the view won't be that clear." Mew sighed at my words and he grabbed the phone from my hand. He pulled me closer by the waist and crouch down to my height.
"Say cheese!!!" He excitedly said before placing his lips on my cheek. I froze at the feeling of his cold lips on my skin, probably ruining the picture with my dazed expression.
(
just imagine that the background isn't that plain white wall but a pretty Regent Street during xmas, okay?? xo)
"There, now mission completed"
"I uh, y- yeah..." I subconsciously reached my hand up and touch the burning skin. Even though his lips were cold as fuck, it left a burning feeling on my skin.
"W- why do you kiss me?"
"Dunno, just feel like it,"
Just feel like it, for fuck sake! Can he just tell me his feeling instead of hinting them and confusing my head?
"H- hey Mew?"
"Yes?"
"Can I... can I ask you something?" now or never, Gulf, you can do this!
"Um... sure, go on,"
"Wha- what do you think of me? I- I mean... am I- am I just a fling to spend your time? Or- or am I just a cat for you to order around? Like- like... is that true? Are you... are you there's no special feeling, even the slightest, for me?" I'm so hesitant to ask this to him, but I did it anyway. It needs to be done one or way or another, sooner or later, I need to know. He can't keep leaving me hanging and hoping.
"Who knows,"
"Stop saying that or I'll slap you!" I yelled outta frustration. Mew keeps watching me, but his lips remain sealed. I sighed at him, but ground my decision. My hand was still in the air, kinda shaky but ready to slap him at any second.
"I just... I just wanna know so please, I'm begging you, tell me," This time, it was Mew's turn to sigh. He grabbed my hand softly before a smile slowly grew on his face.
"I like you,"
"Uh?" What. The. Fuck!?
"Haven't you realised that? Even though you're a tad bit too slow, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I always was too shy to say this out loud, but I've liked you for as long as I could remember,"
"Re- really?" He smiled at me and I could feel the tears slowly hitting my cheeks. Is this for real? This can't be real, can it?
"H- hey, why are you crying?" Mew asked a bit panicking.
"Sorry, it's just... I didn't- I didn't think you would say that. I- I just, this feels so surreal,"
"O- oh... I'm sorry for teasing you for so long,"
"It- it's fine," I said, before hiding my face in my palm. The tears run down my cheeks freely and my chest felt the lightest it has ever been.
"Before I forget, I want to be with you during Xmas eve and Xmas, is that okay?"
"What are we gonna do?"
"My plan? It's my first ever Xmas with a boyfriend and though I know it sounds boring and cliché, I just thought it would be cool to experience it,"
"If that's what you want, as long as you're there, I bet it's gonna be fun," He said, smiling again.
"For real?"
"Anyway, for how long do I have to act like this?" Mew asked and the once there warm smile was suddenly gone.
"Uh?"
"You're really that dumb, aren't you? You're too fast to trust someone. You still don't understand me even after this long. I've never said sweet things to you before, why do you believe me? You should've known that by now, How do you even cope with life if you're this dumb? I'm sure you'll get-" Next thing I know, my palm reached his cheeks followed by an echoing sound. I watched him with full rage, not even shaking with regret at his widened eyes and shocked face.
"I'm leaving. Go die and rot in hell, I hate you and I meant it!"
I gathered my things as fast as possible before running outta the room. I made sure to slam the door extremely harsh, not giving a single fuck about its well-being. I ran down the long flight of stairs, ignoring the clearly working elevator as the tears keep pouring down my eyes.
How could he?
How could someone be that much of a prick? A heartless and selfish asshole, a true arrogant jerk, how could it be possible?
I ran all the way to the station, ignoring the worried glance that people threw at me. I got on the train, trying my best to hold back my sob that slowly start to escape my lips.
What did I do until I deserve this?
Surely it wasn't just because I was a liar, right?
It wasn't even that big kind of a lie, why do I have to suffer this?
"Are you- are you okay?" A lady asked as she put her hand on my shoulder. I tilted my head up slowly and forced a smile to my face when seeing Mrs Twist a.k.a Anne.
"Ye- yeah, I'm fine."
"Why are you crying? Where's Mew? I thought you were with him,"
"Something happened, but I- I'll be fine. Thanks, Anne."
"Awe, dear, I'm sorry for you. Come here, love" She opened her arms for me and I hesitantly place myself in her embrace.
"When the time comes, things gonna be much better. It's all gonna be okay and though I know you feel like it won't right now, it will. It's fine to cry and feel frustrated, just let it all out, you'll feel better after,"
"R- right, th- thanks, Anne"
"No biggie, darling."
I didn't tell Anne what happened, but she keeps reassuring me that it'll gonna be okay eventually and that I remind her of her son. We parted ways when we reached our stops, she goes left while I go right. I hugged her one more time, telling her how grateful I was to meet her there.
Though she reminded me of that asshole, I'm grateful for her existence.
I grabbed an Uber to drive me home, not in the mood to feel another worried glance from people. I paid the driver once I arrived, giving him a small tip since that's the only money that I have with me.
I swung the door open, ignoring my mum's greeting and worried glance as I stormed right into my room upstairs. I slammed the door shut and slid down on it before breaking down completely.
I'm done.
I'm so fucking done.
I'm tired of playing his game, but I can't help the feeling I have for him.
It's still there even though he had hurt me more than once, even after the event this evening, it's still there and I hate myself for that.
I don't want to love him. Hell, I don't even want to like him in the first place. But- but I can't help it! I'm just that weak and dumb and slow and- and... Oh my god, why am I like this?
But now I knew.
He didn't understand me. He never tried to understand me, hence why it was so easy for him to lied like that to me, to play that fucking act like it won't stab me right in the heart.
I just want to be loved and to be in love, it wasn't that much to ask, right?