・────── ・❁ ・──────・
Most of the time, it is easy for me to tell what I am feeling.
Sometimes, I feel weird. Sometimes, I forget how heartbroken you left me. Sometimes, I think maybe it was for the best.
When I saw him, however, I did not know what I was feeling. I was standing behind the counter, preparing orders as usual, until I heard the bells ringing. I looked up, and you were at the door. What was different this time? Well, you were not alone. He was with you.
I do not know what I was expecting him to be like. You always talked to me about him, but seeing him right there in front of me, something felt different.
And now, he is sitting beside you, smiling at me before he turns to look at you, continuing to speak.
He is charming, exactly as you said. He is beautiful, exactly as you described. His voice is soothing, exactly how you told me it was. He is the dreamboat, exactly as you said he was.
He is so kind, too. Maybe a bit too kind.
I feel conflicted.
I had always been jealous of the man you spoke about, but seeing him right here, I cannot question how you fell for him. He is everything I am not. He is quite literally perfect.
"We are definitely coming back here," Felix says, and his gaze travels to her before he begins to look around the coffee shop. "This place is so... home-like. Comfortable and pleasant." He turns to me with the beam that hasn't left his lips ever since I first saw him. "Your father did well by turning this place into a coffee shop. You are doing well by keeping it running, too," he says, and although it is such a kind compliment, I want him to stop speaking to me.
I want him to stop making me conflicted. In my head, he had always been this unrealistic man of who I was jealous. This real version of him that I am speaking to now is leaving me so confused and conflicted. Do I hate this man or do I not? I do not know anymore.
"Thank you. I am glad you are enjoying your time here," I reply, somewhat smiling back at him. But then my smile fades. They are holding each other's hands. I look away as I trap my bottom lip between my teeth.
Stop, Hyunjin. Stop acting this way.
Serene looks at the window, and her eyes widen. "We should head home, the sun is beginning to set already," she says in a volume that is quiet, but still audible. Felix looks at her, and he sighs before agreeing with her.
I look at them with a forced smile on my lips as they leave their seats. Felix reaches his hand out to me, and I shake it. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Hyunjin," he tells me, and I nod and tell him it was nice to meet him as well, although it is somewhat of a lie.
Serene takes her purse and smiles at me. I smile back. It is genuine.
I begin to clear up the table they were sitting at as I watch them hold hands again. They walk out of the shop. I take the empty plates that had slices of cake placed on them just a few minutes ago to the sink behind the counter. Louise brings the cups to me, and as I turn to take them from him, I stop.
A few steps away from the shop's doors, Serene stands. Felix is beside her. They are talking. Until Felix takes Serene's cheeks between his hands, and they kiss.
They kiss.
I take the tray of cups from Louise. I place them into the sink, and I open the tap water.
Étienne walks up to me. He brings his hand to my shoulder, but before he can say anything, I excuse myself. And as I walk away, heading outside through the back exit, he follows me. This time I cannot hide.
・───・───・
・────── ・❁ ・──────・