The Search for Death
LaneFields
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The beginning to an end
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"Let's begin."
The dreaded, monotone statement I've heard a dozen times. If I hadn't become numb to it maybe I'd feel my nails digging into my palms. Or my teeth gritted so tight they were about to crack. The cold table on my bare back would send goosebumps into an attentive stance.
But the bindings were all too tight.
Just like they always were.
"I don't understand what you want from me." I wanted to seethe with anger. Though the strength I once had, was gone. In its place was a meek whisper of a plea.
Dr. Maddon placed a gloved hand to my wrist for a brief moment. The latex grip to my heartbeat released when he trailed to my forearm, spreading hatred. His magnified black eyes intently checked his concoction that would soon splash into my veins.
"Just tell me what you're looking for. I-I can't do this. Not again. Not again, please-" The words gargled beneath the tears.
Flick.
His index finger plucked the hanging bag that would soon take my life. The noise sounded my attention to his loose fitted, infection green colored scrubs. From the cap on his head to the coverings of his shoes. All but his aged face was covered in snot. They gave his lengthy, thin stature no support. If anything he seemed to be weighed down, limping on his left side with each small shuffle as he inched closer.
It wasn't until the unnatural sway in his step did he start these sessions. Dr. Maddon's smile once held a faith, a hope that was ripped downward into the gates of Hell and mine along with it.
I'd kill the demon who took my sanity. Smash his head into his own throne of blackness where the only thing he could see is his own, goddamn, nightmares.
"There's the fight." Dr. Maddon congratulated, his scrubs shifting to his arm that shot up. "The fire in those smoky eyes."
"There's no one there!" Frustrated escaped through thrashes. The tough cloth belt held me tight around the waist, ankles and wrists. Even my strength wasn't enough to loosen the restraint. There was nowhere to go except the Hell that inevitably awaited me. My fate was held in the hands of a scientist gone mad with my misfortune.
"Every single time, Aurora!" He rushed me, his wedded hand flicking to my face. "You've seen it but by the next day you act as if none of what I say is true. I'm a man of my word. I have never told you a lie since the day you sat in my office. So when I say that the Devil himself is among us, there should be no reason for you of all things to doubt me. Seeing how you aren't as far off from the evil I seek."
"I see nothing! Like my eyes are closed while I'm awake! How many times until you listen to me?" I screamed with hope he would hear me this time.
His frown had lifted just slightly. Enough to see something more than the usual dissatisfaction up his ass. Instead he turned off his emotional gaze, going lights out like a museum in the night. Every movement was calculated. His weight forced a muffled tap with every robotic backward step he took. It echoed like a clock, timed with the flickering lights.
One by one in rows. On. Off. On. Off. Like Christmas lights in March. Until the blackness seeped from the corned. Darkness came closer and closer, Engulfing the back of Dr. Maddon's back.
Without looking away with his face nothing but a shadow, he paused at the IV with a grunt. "One day you must learn that darkness is everything in our world now."
"No. NO! You can't keep doing this to me!" The scream rang as a final countdown just as his finger pressed the bold green button.
An ear shaking bang rang like a gunshot to my chest.
Instantly, I was alone.
The eternal night at its beginning.
Weight held me in place like every time I've come. With nothing around, an emptiness took its form. No longer did shivers rattle the examining table below me. The tap of Dr. Maddon's bootie had echoed out of my mind, never returning. The sterile smell of alcohol pads, gone. And so was the awful taste it always gave me whenever a new IV was started.
There was nothing.
Nothing but me in a cold paralyzed state.
My eyes stretched as open as they possibly could, attempting to see anything. An outline, a light but this was total darkness. It's how I pictured space, in the middle of the universe.
"Get me out of here!" I used to scream at the top of my lungs for what felt like days. Soon enough, you'll realize that without air or water nothing comes out. The pain will come sooner the more I fight.
So I wait.
Like every goddamn day.
"Oh, hey, Aurora. I have a great idea. Let's sign up for this amazing science program run by your favorite scientist." I mocked myself. "Oh yeah. Great idea. Oh, oh, then you could really see how fucked up science is. But it's breaking the boundaries of knowledge! Right. And who could forget the big girl act you had to have. Let's save our family! Wishful fucking thinking."
I've gone as mad as Dr. Maddon.
There weren't many more nights I could take of this. Just because my heart couldn't stop, doesn't mean my brain is as strong.
"Hello?" I searched the darkness, "If anyone is there, please help me. I may have gotten myself into a bit of a fucked situation. May have? No. Definitely did. I am most definitely in a fucked up scenario."
Nothing.
"I'm not too sure how it happened. One day I'm having breakfast with my family. Chocolate chip pancakes. They were Austin, my little brother's favorite. I was more of a coffee and run type but he was upset. I remember his little nervous tick. He'd do this small fidget with the bridge of his glasses. That's when I'd know he was uncomfortable. I'd do anything for him but, that morning, breakfast was all I could muster."
I took an airless breath in reminiscing on a distant past.
My parents were barely making it by with the both of us to feed. I could see the stress affect mom's blue eyes that were decorated with bags. And Dad's smile, though unmoved, began to fade. He refused to eat the nights he could only harvest a few potatoes and since he butchered our last rooster, my mind was made up.
I needed to leave the house. To save my family from starving in our bleakened, famine ridden world. The options were slim, especially for a teen. Working in the dust storms was the easiest but deadliest at the time. They would accept anyone to attempt to fish for gold and only earning the 20% you found didn't get you far. Then there was the military, guarding the high priority VIPs and leaving the rest of us here to starve to death.
So when the news spread that a group of scientists needed students to learn and continue the work for a weekly salary - I jumped.
I thought of everyone else.
So why do I still feel guilty for my choices?
It was difficult when Austin begged me not to. I'd give him the world except without me in it.
"It was great at first." I heard myself aloud for the first time in a while and sighed. "Everything was great until he decided to send me to wherever the fuck I am every fucking day! Fuck. Anything is better than this. If anything is out there, just kill me."
That nothingness returned. Hollowing out the remainder of my hope of an end.
"He's convinced you're out there. Won't stop sending me to this god awful place until I prove his crazy theory." For a moment I could have sworn my breath was taken from me.
Suddenly, the room grew cold with a wind. A blanket of chill slithered up my bare legs. It caressed every indent, molding to my own. My eyes darted as far left and as far right as they could go, finding nothing.
"Who has sent you?" The tail end of a hiss rattled my ear drums. So deep it pounded like a bass.
An involuntary, dry gulp was the only movement I could perform as I hunted for the voice.
"Dr. Franklin J. Maddon." My whisper was as loud as a crash that aimed at my chest. It felt as if someone had broken a rib, puncturing my heart.
"It's been a while since I've heard that name." The deep voice emerged from the shadows. A hot breath beat against my ear and, for a moment, I felt someone else's bare skin on my own. Palpable anger radiated from this essence. "Now, why would the brilliant Maddon send a child to do his biddings?"
"Now that you mention it, I've had the same thought. A few answers come to mind if you'd like to hear them."
I could have sworn a heartbeat had timed with mine, the rhythms the same — one hundred and sixty beats per minute. Unusually high, even in a high stress situation but normal for our kind.
"Go for it." He mused, humorously. His warmth overtaking the cold behind me.
"I've been sent to wherever the hell I am for at least five months. Give or take. Sometimes the poisons are stronger and I'm stuck longer. It feels like an inbetween of life and death, though, I'm sure you know exactly what this is and that is not the question you asked." I gave him a moment to answer but instead pressure started at my wrists, squeezing just enough where I felt I could move a finger.
"You asked why send me? Two possible scenarios. One, there aren't many who survive this. I thought I'd surely be in a grave thinking it was all a conspiracy by now."
"And why do you think you're going to survive?" His breathy question made my toes tingle and flex.
"Is that your final question or would you like me to finish my thoughts?" I snipped, letting the freedom from the weight extend upward.
"Enlighten me."
"Dr. Maddon is the Einstein of my generation. His mind is a maze full of knowledge. A library no one could finish. He could create things like us with a promise to fix a world beyond repair. Maybe in another life he did. But in this one, he's too smart. He knows he has lost his own war against a force no one can see. A force that he has used as a torture tool. I don't know what you are or your history with the Dr. but I think he's smart to send something that can actually do his dirty work."
A deep chuckle shook against my back. Fingers dug into the sides of my hips. I was pinned against a body that towered over me.
"I'd love to see what Maddon has trained you for, little one." Though his tone was condescending, his movements were of pure intent. He reached a hand to my throat, covering my windpipe in one swift flow.
My once concreted stance was broken when my forearm caught his. With a grunt, I twisted my body to face the faceless man. Darkness still surrounding us, I relied on sound. The huff of annoyance came from above though his arms still held me in place. My fisted knuckles came in contact with his torso. One. Two. Three. Five punches to his rib cage earned me nothing but a few steps backwards. I kept going. Punching. Kicking. Even when it felt like he was blocking every combo until I was hitting at nothing.
My feet spun in circles, collecting the lay of flooring that stayed hidden beneath them.
"What happened? Did the little girl scare you?" I mocked and poked, straining my ears to hear anything. "I've been waiting five months for this moment. Don't take it away from me now. I was just getting started."
The quick shuffle of footsteps paraded at me. Knocking me down with a crash. His hands held mine above my head and once again a weight held me down. But this time I could feel his legs, how muscular his body must be to hurl me. He must have been six foot, athletic build.
"This is my domain. Think before you speak." He was calm and collected. Not even out of breath.
"No thanks."
I twisted my body sideways. Using his body against him until I was on top, pinning him down.
"You couldn't kill me if you tried." I spat, squeezing my legs together until I could feel him struggling to breathe. "I'd really love to see you try, Devil."
A war cry erupted from beneath me. Followed by the rush of air around. He slammed his fist into my right cheek, over and over again. The taste of iron dripped from my smiling lips even when I gurgled at every inhale. Cynical laughter overtook as I fought back. The contact of every block fueling my next punch.
His movement quickened to a godly speed. I no longer could keep up. Two more punches to my right eye stunned me. Somehow the black hole we were in spun and shook until he stabilized me with his forearm around my neck.
He had barely broken out in a sweat. His breathing was next to normal while I gasped for air. Nails dug into his forearms until blood seeped to my fingers, pooling at my struggling feet below.
"Now that we have that out of the way, it's my turn to speak and yours to listen." He whispered with hatred, tightening the noose. "If somehow you make it back alive, you tell Franklin to be a man and come find me himself. Then you get loose from his grip and think for yourself. I don't want to see you again."
"The darkness has been my hell. No matter what you do, I will be back." I gasped.
"You asked what this place is. I'll tell you.. It is not for you. I could feel the life inside of you. He is wasting your power for his own benefit. No longer should you be under the control of a sad man who must create what he will never be. It is time for you to stand up and fight just as you have done here. You will never win against me, but the world? It is in the palm of your hands, my rose. Now, leave me be." He demanded, twisting my neck with a murderous crack.