The next morning, was not a good one. Chan quickly made the nest, and grabbed a bunch of my clothes, and got the boys ready to leave. I said bye to them right before the first wave hit, Chan stared into my eyes, "Channie, please, I know you want to help. But not yet, okay." I kissed him on the lips, "Channie, daddy will be okay. Sunshine will be here soon and give him food." Chan looked down at Junnie who smiled big at him, "Please call me if you need anything." He said as he picked up both boys, "I will, my love. Behave for mommy." I said, kissing each of the boys on the forehead, "I will be misbehaving." Jiseok said, Junnie looked at him and giggled, "Trouble makers." I said as another wave hit.
"Please." I begged, I knew it was hard for Chan, as it was hard for me to watch them leave. But as soon as they left, I broke out into a cold sweat, "Fuck." I said as it hit faster than another other of my ruts.
A week, a fucking week my rut lasted, and it fucking sucked. Felix was over everyday and I was a mess, I have never been this bad. I missed Chan so much, everything about him, when I wasn't a full on mess, I called him to listen to his voice. He would tell me how the boys are, what they did in school, what he did a work. And I said nothing, I just needed to hear his voice. I know next rut, I have to have him here but I don't want him here just yet. Scared I will hurt him.
On the last day, I was showered, washing everything off of me, I changed the sheets. I had to wash all of Chan's clothes, I had to air out the room, I didn't want to trigger Chan's heat when he came home. Tomorrow I would see my boys once again, and I couldn't be more happy. I missed them more than life.
The next morning, I woke up early, getting up, I cooked breakfast, "One more hour until I see my boys." I smiled to myself as I ate, once done, I cleaned up. Now, I just waited for them. Hearing the door unlock, I couldn't help but smile big, "Daddy!" Was yelled, both boys running to me, crashing into my arms, hugging them tight. I span them around, "Oh how I have missed my tiny trouble makers." Kissing their foreheads, "Were you two good for mommy?" They nodded their heads, "I lost a tooth!" Jiseok said, "I helped pull it out!" Junnie said, "No way! We have to put it under your pillow so the tooth fairy will come and leave money for it." "No way! Money for my tooth, Junnie let's go pull them all out." Chan stepped in, "No baby. You have to wait for them to fall out."
Jiseok looked at Hyeongjun, "Don't think about it Bang Jiseok." I said, his smile dropped then came up again, "Not even a little." Then it dropped again, "It's okay, maybe I'll lose another." Junnie said, Jiseok smiled again, setting them down, I looked up at Chan.
"Hello my love." I said, he jumped in my arms, "I missed you so much." Chan said, as he hugged me tighter, "Please let me be there next time. I can't do that again." "Only if you are ready. I missed you too, and I don't think I can be alone again." Setting him down, I placed my hands on his face, "May I kiss you?" I asked, "Please." Smiling, I pulled him in for a kiss, his arms were around my neck. I think I love him, but I will never say it this early.