Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or you will always step in water right after putting on new socks
"Alright, we have 12 people, so we just need to get 3 more." Killua said. Yes, everyone here can do basic math. You're not special.
...
I take that back. Everyone here, besides Gon, can do basic math.
"We can probably just get some random players, 3 people shouldn't matter to much." Bisky mentioned.
"Or, to create even more chaos, we can get Layoreo and Pikachu to play." I suggested. We're literally playing Pokémon on steroids, we must have Pikachu play.
"Oh, and we can try to get Uvogin to join us to!" Gon added.
"Yeah, he's an idiot! He won't even realize he's betraying his own team until it's to late." Killua said.
"Who are Layoreo and Pikachu?" Bisky asked.
"So now we just need to gather them all." Gon said.
"And if they disagree we threaten them!" Killua added.
"I like these children." Anzai muttered.
"Someone explain who Layoreo and Pikachu are!"
"Of course you like us, we're amazing." Killua replied.
Killua being yeeted into the air count: 5
And incase you forgot:
Kalluto being yeeted into the air count: 1
Illumi being yeeted into the air count: 1
I swear Bisky has shit against the Zoldycks.
"Alright, I'll peacefully force Layoreo and Pikachu to play while y'all get Uvogin." I said.
"How do you peacefully force-"
And I'm outta there.
"Hey Layoreo-"
"It's still Leorio!" Layoreo shouted. God, you could've at least let me finish my sentence. So rude.
"Okay, anyways I was wondering if you wanted to play Greed Island with me."
"No. Even if I wanted to I have to study." Layoreo replied.
"Gon is playing."
"...I can study later."
One down, one to go.
"Now we just need to get Pikachu." Easier said then done...
8 minutes later
"...Y/n you've been staring at the door for eight minutes." Leorio said.
"I'm going to die soon, at least give me a couple more minutes." I muttered. I don't care that I'm a god, Pikachu is scary. I'm fear no man, but that thing... it scares me.
"Goddamnit, I'll open the door then."
No-
...
Help me.
"What do you both want?" Pikachu asked. Please. Somebody save me.
"Y/n wanted you to play Greed Island with them." Layoreo explained. No- you could've just asked if he wanted to play Greed Island! Now I'm completely screwed.
"I'm busy." Kurapika replied.
"If you play we'll let you kill Hisoka, he is a troupe member." I offered.
"Hisoka is unimportant." Fair.
"Uh, I'll revive your family/clan thing?"
"You can do that!?"
What is it with people and forgetting I'm a literal god. It's my job to be forgetful. The audacity.
Well I got Pikachu to play. It's amazing, I got two people to join without even having to threaten them! I didn't even take away there free will!
"Y'all get Uvogin?" I asked, teleporting right behind Killua because he specifically told me to not do that. My only goal in life is to be as annoying and unhelpful as humanly possible. Actually, I'm a god now, I can become more annoying then humanly possible.
"..."
"He's like 8 feet tall, how can you not see him?" Harou asked. This is why you're the least favorite.
"Moving on. Pikachu, you good man?" I asked. Like chill, it's only someone who killed your family. I mean you already killed him so it shouldn't really matter.
"Hey! Chain user, nice to see you again!" Uvogin greeted. Yes, this is definitely how you're supposed to react when you see someone who literally killed you like 10 episodes ago. I mean- what anime?
"I'm going to kill everyone in this room and then myself." Pikachu replied.
"...We're outside." Killua mentioned.
1.23 seconds later
"I'm sorryyyy! Don't kill me! I swear it was a joke!" Killua shouted, now running from Pikachu.
(Please imagine Killua running from this
It's just funnier that way-)
"We just need to Jinx get Illumi." Gon said. So we're just ignoring Killua dying in the background, alright.
"I heard my name." Illumi greeted, popping out of the ground. If I had any human decency I would probably be concerned.
"I sensed chaos." Jinx said descending from the heavens. Jinx rules heaven now. After Gods death he stole the role of supreme overlord.
"Perfect, everyone is here now. Accompany on! To Soufrabi!"
"I can still teleport-"
He threw a pumpkin at me.
Where the fuck did he get a pumpkin.
Was he just carrying the pumpkin the whole time? How did it just randomly appear? This doesn't make any sense. This whole book doesn't make sense. What the actual fuck.
"Y/n use your powers to get information." Gon ordered. You just threw a pumpkin at me, why would I help you?
Oh yeah, we need to beat the troupe. Those fucking losers. You know how in the canon Hisoka was the traitor, well Uvogin has decided to become the traitor now.
"We go to that building over there." I replied. This game would be so much easier if there were actually useful maps.
Apparently the pirates were just random clown-school-failures (like Hisoka) that sat around drinking alcohol all day.
Uvogin, having no more fucks to give, just grabbed a beer and started drinking.
"This is a private party, so get lost!" One of the clown-school-failures, I mean pirates, said.
"We're supposed to beat some guy named Razor, just lead us to him." Killua said.
"Alright. If any of you can knock me out of this ring I'll take you straight to our boss. I don't care how many of you attack me at once." Random pirate #1 said.
"I call dibs!" Shuko and Gon both shouted.
"Are you two insane!? That guy is like ten times your size!" Layoreo yelled.
"If we both called dibs then who gets to fight?" Shuko asked.
"Hey! Did you ignore everything I just said!?" Shut up Layoreo. I need to see this interaction with the two stupidest people I know.
"We can play rock-paper-scissors! Whoever wins gets to fight." Gon suggested. I swear to fucking god-
3 minutes later
"You guys have tied thirty-three times in a row, just fight him together." Urara said.
"Oh, why didn't I think of that!" Gon replied. Maybe because you an Shuko combined have a total of -3 braincells.
"Alright! Does anyone have a speaker I can use?" Shuko asked.
"Huh? Why do we need a speaker?"
"You'll see. You start attacking him, I need to find a speaker." Shuko said. What chaos do I get to watch today?
After Shuko got a speaker, we don't question where it came from, we don't question anything, she set the guy on fire and started blasting Girl on Fire.
This girl is on fire
This girl is on fire
She's walking on fire
This girl is on fire
I never realized how good this song was, the screaming in the background really helps.
"You brat! You're dead!" Random pirate #1 yelled, before immediately being stopped by random pirate #2.
"You made up all of the rules yourself, so get over it. This way. I'll take you to the boss." Random pirate #2 said.
A unspecified amount of time later
"We got visitors boss." Random pirate #2 stated.
"Yeah, and who are they?" Razor asked. Well if you turned the fuck around you would find out.
"Seems they want us to leave town."
"Is that so? Then let's have a contest, shall we? If you win, we'll leave the island peacefully. It'll be up to us to choose what the contest will be. All right?"
"Hell yeah, finally some fun!" Shuko said. You literally just set a man on fire, chill the fuck out.
"It's an athletics contest. Where each member will challenge you to a match in their specialty sport. One win each. First to eight wins is the victor." Razor explained. Well this will be easy. Two of us are gods, five of us are phantom troupe members, and none of us are mentally stable. Like I said, this will be easy.
"My challenge is up first, and I'm gonna go with Boxing." Random pirate #3 said.
Word count: 1483
Fun Facts:
• When I started writing this I expected it to just be memes. Literally just memes- and now I'm over here with a god cat, a cult, and a mother fucking ice cream employee about to play dodgeball- (volleyball?) like what the actual fuck
• Everytime I type Greed Island it autocorrects to Agreed Island and it's fucking annoying-
• Just so you know, Jinx is still a cat. He has not changed into his human form- just a cat- I think it's hilarious
My sense of humor is fucked up, I know.