When we first came here
We were cold and we were clear
With no colors on our skin
We were light and paper-thin
"Now where are you going?" I sighed frustratingly and plopped down onto my - our bed.
Colton and I have been fighting for the past three weeks. It was either over something stupid or his little mood swings. At first I thought it was about the full moon that was coming up, but now I think its something else. He's been distant with not only me, but with the rest of my family. When he goes hunting, he doesn't come back until 5 am. Sometimes its later than that. We were fine until I asked him about his family and then he just . . .snapped.
My brothers, no scratch that, my whole entire family was not real happy with Colton. Of course Esme was trying not to snap, being who she was, but I could tell that even she was trying to hold back. Carlisle was right there with her. It was weird seeing the two most innocent people that I knew act like that. Then again, they were my parents.
"I need to think! Don't bother to come and look for me!" He yanked the sliding window opened and jumped from the balcony.
"Ugh!" I stomped over to the window and slammed it shut and locked it. If he wanted to come back in he would have to use the front door like ever other grumpy man who leaves at night. He was so - so infuriating! Love wasn't suppose to be like this!
Heck, I knew Rosalie and Emmett fought, rarely I should say, but they did, and even they made up at the end of it. My relationship was nothing like theirs. It was full of tension that sometimes Jasper had to just leave. Jasper! The man with all the emotions, had to leave!
There was just to much fighting which ended up with me in a bad mood for a week and then all of a sudden Colton would come back and do something sweet for me, and I would forgive him. Everyday I felt guilty for making him leave his pack -his family for me. But then I would think, 'He had a chose, too.'
I just wished there was a way to find out about what was wrong. Edward tried reading his thoughts but to him they were all jumbled and full of depressing and angered thoughts. But that's not what he could've been thinking all the time, right? I did my best to make him happy, I was trying. I was trying to make him feel like he was at home. Even though Rosalie hated him for putting our family in danger, she was at least trying to give him a shot. Rosalie of all people!
So why wasn't he trying? Why wasn't he doing his best? Why did he always run?
Light taps came from our - my bedroom door. I cleared my throat and crossed my ankles, "Come in."
Rosalies' face peeked from behind it, her golden hair flowing over her left shoulder. A small smile appeared on her face as she waked in. "Hey. I heard the fighting . . .well, actually everyone did, but I volunteered to make sure you were okay." There was small pause before she clasped her hands together in front of her, "So, are you okay?"
Was I okay? I mean, my boyfriend/mate whatever you want to call, was being a total lunatic and a butthead. It was like he didn't care about my feelings or our relationship. What in the hell was happening?!
I sighed and patted the spot next to me on the bed. That was the other thing, Rosalie and I were also getting closer. So while y relationship was crashing it was somewhat helping my sisters and I's relationship. In a way, Colton was finally doing something. We talked about our past (mostly hers) and I listened. Sometimes when Colton and I fought, all of u girls would have a "girl day" and just do something all together, while my brothers tried planning the best way to beat Colton up without me knowing. Obviously, I found out and now, since I'm anger, I am kind of regretting them not go through with the plan. He's just so damn exasperating!
She sat down delicately and gave me her full attention, "What was it about this time?"
That's a good question. We were sitting n bed, watching TV and then all of a sudden he just lets out this big, heavily sigh. I question him about it and then he blows up. "Honestly, Rose. I don't know. And to be frank, I'm getting sick and tired of the yelling. This isn't what love is suppose to be. Its suppose to be . . . well, love! You're suppose to hold each others hands and look into one another eyes and just want to spend the whole life with them. You're suppose to cuddle up to each other and just lay there and not think about anything or anyone else. You're suppose to have late night talks, and surprised kisses. Not late night yellings." I scrubbed my face with my hands and stared at my sister, who's expression was full of sympathy. "I love him. I really, really do. But . . .it just seems like he's not in love with me anymore. I - I just don't know anymore . . . I'm tired, Rosalie. I'm just tired."
She reached forward and rubbed my arm in sadness. "I know you are, Emily. To be honest, when Colton yells at you in this house. I have a hard time holding Emmett back. Heck we have to hold each other back before we do something stupid!" We both laugh because we know its true. Finally, again, I was able to smile. "All joking aside, we cant stand it anymore than you can. Jasper can feel how much you love him and Edward can hear how much you love him, we can all see that you love him. But! We can also hear, see, and feel how tired you are. I know you love him, Emily. I - I know you do. Just think of this, okay? I'm going to be honest with you. I think your relationship is toxic towards you. You're not the girl we know. You don't play with your brothers anymore, you hardly ever joke around, you don't throw a "Surprise Pie" at Emmett anymore. You're just not . . .you! And I think you need to work on becoming you first before you work on Colton. Because maybe, just maybe, he's changed for the worse. "
What was I hearing? "Rosalie -"
"Even Carlisle and Esme think he's bad for you. I'm not saying to break up with him, but maybe you two need alone time. And I'm not talking about you two having sex." She smiled as I blushed. "I'm saying he goes one way so he can get his head on straight, and you stay here where you can be happy again. Because this." She pointer her perfect manicured finger at me. "is not my ferocious sister I know and love. This right here, is a mopey girl who is dealing with a bad relationship."
"Rose -"
"Just think it over, okay? I'm not saying you should dump him or just kick his butt to the curb. No matter how much I want to." She whispered in a growl underneath her breath.
I playfully pushed her shoulder and giggled at the image. I wouldn't put it past her to do that. "Its not that bad of an idea, Rosalie." I liked these moments when we were being like actual sisters.
"Of course it made sense, it was my idea." She flipped her hair to her other shoulder and smirked confidently. And the old Rosalie was back. "Seriously though, ask around, we all think its a good idea that you two get some time apart from each other. For - a year."
"A year!" I forced out. A whole year?! Nuh-uh! No way! It was hard to even stay away a full week, let alone a couple of days.
"Six months?"
"No!" When did this become a compromise. Love shouldn't have to be this hard! 'But you love him'. Said a little voice in my head. I did, no, do love him, it was just hard too.
"Fo-"
"The least I can do is two, and that right there is even pushing it. It may sound easy to everyone's ears. But its not that simple, in fact, leaving a loved one behind, your mate, your boyfriend, is the hardest thing anyone could ever do. No one could do it, not even you, Carlisle, Edward, or Jasper."
She sighed disappointingly and flicked a piece of my hair away from my face. "I just don't want you to get hurt."
I chuckled and smiled at her. This was a whole 'nother side of her, and this was the side that I liked. "Rose, I'm safe with him." She raised her eyebrow. "Really! I'll be okay. Thank you for the concern but I think I'll be okay. Now, yesterday I heard about a certain brother of mine taking you somewhere?"
Her eyes narrowed, "I don't know where were going because my your brother wont tell me. Do you know where he's taking me?"
I bit my lip, forgetting my troubles, and was finally begging to feel happy. "Nope. Although you should probably ask Alice or Edward. Maybe if you threaten them with something, they'll tell you."
"Hmm." Rosalie's brain was a scary one once she used it.
"Rosalie Hale! Don't even think about it!" Alice screeched from downstairs. It almost sounded as if she was hysterics. My door flung open and in the door way was a very pissed off looking pixie. She stomped in and placed her hands on her hips. "I told you! Emmett wants it to be a surprise!"
Rosalie glared at our sister and huffed. "Whatever you guys say." She then glanced at me. "Remember what we talked about." With a soft woosh, she was gone.
Alice rolled her eyes and followed her out. "Hey, Alice?"
"Yes?" Her voice was soft again. Caring. Then again, with me she's always like that.
"Is it worth it? Us? Me and Cole? Do you, your honest opinion, think at we'll last forever or do you think we'll wind up killing each other?" I twisted the cover of my bed nervously. I wanted an answer, whether it be good or bad. I just needed to know what to do. I - I needed guidance.
She offered me a small, sad smile. "I cant help you there, Em. This family, your family, can only tell you what they think. But that big, warm heart of yours can only tell you what you want to hear. You're your own person. Your thoughts are your own. You have to decide what's right and what's wrong. Just know this, what ever your decision may be . . .we support you. Now, don't forget to get up before six so I can get you ready and dressed for school." With a bounce in her step she closed the door and waked away.
"I can dress myself you know?!" I yelled back down to her even though I knew she could hear me if I whispered. "Sisters!" I bounced back onto my bed and curled back up into the blankets.
Authors note: Hello! I am so, so sorry I have not updated in a while. I almost abandoned it along with Wattpad. My mom had two strokes and my parents relationship was rocky at a point. I was slightly depressed and had no intention to finish anything. I am growing up and seeing things a lot differently, but with that being said, I didn't know where I was going with this story. But now! I've got a lot of things coming for you guys! I am going to change a few clans/ couples in the near future. You know? something different. Hope you like the chapter and I will be updating way more frequently!!!!!!!