Twilight plus one

Chapter 32 Say something.

Hey guys another chapter it may be a little short. But its a chapter nother the less. 

Thank you all for the votes, comments, and reads. I really, really appreciate!!!! 

Enjoy.

Again, I'm sorry that it was a short chapter. 

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                                                Chapter 32. Say Something. 

 (play music.)

Its been over a week since the attack at my mate's house, everything has been quiet. For now. Nothing has me on edge. Except for Cole's crazy mother. I sighed walking into the woods, running a hand through my hair. I told Cole that I was just going for a walk, and that I need time to think. I haven't done that in a while, just think instead of reacting.The woods were supernaturally quiet. The birds chirped, small critters danced across the forest floor. It was chilly for fall. Due was on the grass. The leaves were wet. The ground was soft beneath my feet. I looked around.

 It feels weird to be here with no family. Carlisle would love to see them, the wolves. Emmett and Jasper would love to fight them. Alice would tell them how to dress. Esme would clean up after them, and no matter how much the wolves were mean to her, she would do it anyway.  Rosalie, well I'm pretty sure she would make conflict. Edward, would mind his own business, and cuddle with Bella. 

Bella. My human, crazy, suicidal sister. I sighed again. God I feel so bad for leaving her. I wasn't so keen on the idea at first. But you can't chose your mate. I can vouch for that. 

My hand reached for my phone. I flipped it open wondering if I should call one of my family members. Edward's name came first to mind. 

"Please answer." 

I dialed his number. The rings, rang in my ears. Nothing. He didn't even pick up. There was no voice mail. No nothing.  

"Damn it!" I tried calling Alice but she wouldn't pick up. There was a voice mail. "Hey Alice. . . its me. Emily. Um, a lot has happened, over the past months. I-I found my mate. He's sweet. Um I just wanted to let you know that I'm okay. And that I miss you. I miss you all. It sucks, knowing you guys are out there. I can't get to Edward. Is he okay? How's the family? Look, remember my real dad? The one I told you about? Well he's here. I don't know if I can take him. But I'm going to try. Ah, look I-I got to go. " I shut the phone off quickly, and put it back in my pocket, before I could cry. Although knowing Alice she would see. 

I sat down on a log, and closed my eyes. Flashbacks of my family, came into my mind. I felt everything. The sorrow, the happiness, depression, anger, joy. What if that was taken away from me in a blink of a second? What if everything I live for was gone? I guess its not the goodbyes that hurt, its the flashbacks that follow. I've got my mate, finally, and I can't be any happier.

But than I can. I want my family. I want my dad,mom, my siblings. I don't fit in here. If Colton's family and pack found out about what I really am. I would be hunted again. Why can't my life be simple? Or normal? As mest up as that was. I'm tired of being hunted. I'm tired of hiding, of hurting, crying, of being judged. 

I can see what exactly where I want to be. I just can't see how I will get there. A lot of people say, "it'll get better" "Time will heal all wounds." Well I say, it does. It just depends on how big that wound is. 

My mom used to tell me, "The more you care, the more you have to lose." Maybe she's right. Maybe if I keep opening my heart up, more pain will just enter. Maybe I just have to forget and move on. But I cant do that. To many people are depending on me. 

What if, by me staying here , I'm putting my mate in danger, his pack? But I cant leave him. I'm selfish. Ugh I don't know what to do anymore. There's a war coming, I can feel it. I don't know if I should tell Colton. Although I'm pretty sure, the pack can feel it.

With all of the attacks going around. What if the Volturi find out? What if they come here and kill all of them, like they did back then? There's so many 'What ifs' I cant keep count. 

My father wants me dead, he's made that completely clear. This is the war I am talking about. I don't know what he's capable of. I don't know him anymore. I cant put my mate's pack, and my family at risk. I just cant. I'm not strong enough. I tell everyone to be strong, knowing that I am the weakest person in the world. I'm not strong enough to live through my past. 

But then again. If you fight, you might lose . . . if you don't fight, you've already lost. 

A twig snapped, and my senses heightened. Colton came out of the thicket. I sighed and relaxed back into the tree, and closed my eyes. I felt his warmth right next to me. His hand brushing against my arm. "You okay?" 

I opened my eyes, and looked into his. "Yeah I'm fine." 

He picked me up, and sat down. I straddled his waist, and put my head in the crook of his neck. He rubbed his hands up and down my back. "No your not. Sometimes, its okay not to be okay. Let it out." 

I let everything out. And he didn't complain one bit. He just healed me. Shushing me when needed. I think this is what I needed.