The evening air was raw and calm on the front steps of the Conservatory. The weather had shifted over the course of the day, and now the darkening sky was shrouded in a blanket of grayish clouds. Snow from earlier in the week lingered on the shrubs that flanked the walkways, dusting the red winter berries poking out from between waxy green leaves.
Alori stood on the same plush runner carpet that had been rolled out when she'd first arrived, but this time Taelan stood beside her. Despite her concern that he might not want to see her again after the chaotic end to his performance, he'd been waiting in the front hall five minutes ahead of schedule and had greeted her with a warm smile. They were both dressed for the cold, Taelan in his wool coat and newsboy cap with the addition of a red knitted scarf tied around his neck. Alori wore a green velvet traveling dress, hooded black cloak, and matching fur muff.
She pulled her hand from the muff to brush a strand of hair from her eyes, watching as a groom clipped her stags to their leads at the front of the carriage. She hadn't realized they'd be leaving the Conservatory when Hamoni had first mentioned the dinner date she'd arranged, but Alori had since been informed that the marchioness had reserved the Ville-Tokki Inn's restaurant for the evening.
Alori was glad for the change in scenery, if a bit wary of the ride that was in store. The Conservatory was a beautiful building with respectable accommodations, but it was an elite musical academy at its core, not the most fitting location for a romantic dinner. On the other hand, Taelan was still such a mystery. She wondered what sort of thoughts were floating around in his head. Last night she'd decided that if he was serious about wanting to become the next bard prince he needed to open up to her, but now she was second guessing herself. Maybe she was expecting too much too soon.
"Do you want to be treated like a princess, or a woman?"
Yuka had made a fair point. Most of the bards were intimidated by her, although Taelan seemed to fit into that category only somewhat. He hadn't shied away from conversation, except when it came to his and Yuka's secrets. He'd even seemed to enjoy holding her hand. Was it because he felt the same inexplicable connection she did, like they'd known each other for years instead of days?
"I can put you on the right foot, but the rest is up to you."
Yuka had given more than a fair share of hints that she was on the right track. Taelan was the reason she'd come to the Conservatory earlier than required. He was the composer she'd been yearning to meet, she knew it in her bones. But would he be willing to admit it?
The carriage pulled around the driveway and up to the end of the carpet. Alori turned to ask Taelan if he was ready to proceed, but his hand was already curling around her elbow. She tilted her chin to acknowledge his courtesy, then forced her trembling legs to cooperate as they set off together down the lighted path.
"How do you do, Mr. Baejun?" Alori said kindly as they approached the coach door.
The friendly glimmer in the old footman's black eyes acknowledged her greeting in customary silence. This was the first time Alori had ridden anywhere with a suitor, and if the appraising look he turned on Taelan was any indication, that fact had not escaped Mr. Baejun's notice.
Alori sat down inside the coach and folded her hands in her lap. The leather benches were cool from a long day in the stables. Taelan ducked in after her and doffed his cap, his dark silhouette eclipsing the flickering lamplight outside.
"The ride won't be overly long, Your Highness, about three miles." The tip of Baejun's hooked nose was red from the cold, his breath clouding in front of the door as he closed it, leaving her alone with her raven-haired date.
Moments later the carriage trundled off down the same rural, wood-lined street Alori and Hamoni had ridden to get to the Conservatory. The sound of spoked wheels grinding over the bumpy roadway filled the silence. Taelan looked out the window, though it was mostly covered in hoarfrost.
"This is a magnificent vehicle, my lady," he said after a lengthy minute, his gaze drifting back inside. "I've never seen one its equal."
Alori smiled. "Thank you. The beasts that pull it are even more magnificent." She thought fondly of Bellesan and the rest of the royal stags. The stables at the Conservatory seemed well-tended, and she hoped they weren't stressed.
"They do draw the eye," Taelan agreed, tapping his cap on the edge of his knee. "I've always wondered why, deer instead of horses. Do they hold a special meaning?"
"The stag is on my family's crest, and my mother loved them, so..."
She didn't know how to explain why she hadn't switched to a more practical draught animal. It was true that her mother had loved the stags, and this particular group had been a gift from Cardosia, but neither of those things explained why Alori kept them. Maybe she did it so the loyal, hardworking creatures wouldn't be forced to retire to a field for the rest of their lives; or because it would have been a hassle to change things; or because she loved them every bit as much as her mother had. She'd never thought about it.
Taelan studied his lap, rubbing the wool hem of his coat under his thumb. "I'm sorry, I know how much you must miss her."
"My mother? I do, but that isn't why I lost my train of thought. I realized I don't know why I've kept the stags. Horses are certainly faster." Her soft chuckle faded into a stretch of quiet contemplation that hung in the air between them. "Do you– I mean, are your parents...?"
He glanced up slowly, as if pulled from a daydream. There was a story behind those eyes, she was sure of it. "My father passed away when I was ten. He was a patroller."
Some called them demon hunters, although it was considered impolite, particularly now, while the massacre was still vivid in many people's minds. Patrollers guarded the shield's borders and dealt with any ruffians that threatened it, demonic or otherwise. More often, otherwise, these days. The Crown worked with their units indirectly, much the same as they did the shieldmages, but both were as important as any member of the royal council.
If Taelan's father had been a patroller in Ville-You, and he'd passed away when Taelan was ten...
A dark memory of smoke and blood swamped Alori's vision. She'd been seven years old when the shield in Ville-You was breached by cohorts of lesser demons. She and her mother had been in the mountain realm for training when the villages were attacked. The queen had been incandescent that night, like a goddess. But even a goddess couldn't save everyone.
It was so long ago, but Alori could still remember the smell of burning flesh and the manic laughter of those terrible creatures. Nothing good had happened that night, only death and devastation.
"My father died, but my mother was saved." The shadows within the coach seemed to wrap around Taelan, darkening his pale face. "Your–" His lips clamped shut, as if he'd been about to say something he shouldn't. "The queen saved her."
"Oh?"
Alori wasn't sure how to respond. Death touched everyone sooner or later, and each person handled it in their own way, but she knew from personal experience that thoughtless platitudes didn't help.
"My father was killed protecting us. We would have died along with him, if we hadn't found your mother." A gentle smile softened the tight lines around his jaw. "We were nobodies, but she held our hands and walked us back to safety through the reinforced area of the shield."
So that explained it. Taelan believing himself in love with her actually made sense, now. He probably felt like he owed her a debt for having been rescued by her mother. It sounded sweet-- almost romantic-- and maybe she should have been delighted that her composer was the same man who had genuine feelings for her. She'd been so nervous that wouldn't be the case. But the revelation left a sour taste in her mouth.
"My mother was a brave mage," she said, like reciting lines from a script. "She loved her people."
He reached across the bench, spreading his palm over the top of her fur muff. "As do you, my lady."
The strangeness of the previous moment burned away. Taelan wasn't touching her, not really, yet fire surged wildly through her veins. Her multiple layers of clothing were a stifling nuisance.
She shifted in her seat, itchy and flustered. "Were you able to convey the message we spoke of last night?"
Taelan pulled his hand back and leaned against the upholstered wall. "I was, and I thought more about what you said."
"Good, because there are a couple things we need to dis–"
The carriage jolted over a log, or else something that felt an awful lot like one. The lamp dangling from a chain on the ceiling swung in circles, casting macabre shadows on the walls. Alori fell across the benches, angling her upper body so as not to assert herself directly into Taelan's lap.
She landed with a grunt, her elbows digging into the cushion beside him. When he reached down to help her right herself, his fingers grazed the swell of her breasts along the edge of her corset. She sucked in a breath, wondering if he'd felt anything through her thick overclothes. The bright spots of color high on his cheeks were indiscreet, but he made no comment, not even to apologize, which was just as well. To do so would be an acknowledgement that it had happened.
"My apologies, I thought I might take you out just now." Alori adjusted her skirts, pretending she hadn't been accidentally groped by the man she was taking to dinner.
He chuckled softly, the delicate skin around his eyes folding into a new shape. His laughter was musical, every bit as deep and resonant as his speaking voice, and she didn't want it to stop.
"I would consider it an honor to be taken out by the Crown Princess of the Ville-Realms."
"Great goddess, what has Yuka been teaching you?" she teased.
"All bad things, to be sure." Taelan grinned sidelong at her and the resulting dimple sent a searing arrow straight through her chest.
Five hells, he was handsome. It was a shame his feelings were superficial, based on circumstances that had nothing to do with her.
Could she learn to accept that, in the hope that one day he might begin to love her in earnest?
The trees thinned as their ride became smoother. Alori struggled to maintain her composure. Soon they would be in Ville-Tokki, distracted with food and drink. She couldn't let this fleeting opportunity slip away.
"Taelan, did anyone tell you what I said about the song you wrote?"
His cap fell out of his hands and landed in his lap. Something outside in the deepening night caught his attention, otherwise he was avoiding eye contact. But this had to be the moment of truth. If he continued evading the topic, they would never get anywhere.
"It was a lovely piece. You should be proud of it," she whispered, watching for a change in his reaction, some small indication that he would be honest with her.
The knot in his throat rose up and down. She hadn't realized how long and elegant his neck was.
He wrapped his hands around his cap, running a finger along the satin sweatband. Eventually, he looked up at her. "Thank you, Your Highness."
A weight Alori hadn't known was sitting atop her chest lifted. Breathing became easier, even as her heartbeat quickened.
"I hope you don't think you played poorly, or that I didn't like what you did." Was she talking too fast? Making sense? "Your playing was exquisite. The skill in that composition was nothing short of masterful. If you hadn't written such a beautiful section for the viola, the performance might have ended differently."
"I'm glad you liked it. And I apologize for my behavior earlier, I'm afraid I don't have a good excuse." He twisted his cap between his hands. "Yuka surpassed my performance ability years ago, especially on strings. I wasn't surprised he won."
"I don't know about all that. To my ears your performance was just as impressive, and you composed the song. I felt awful when I took off the blindfold and you were gone." The heat in her chest blossomed and crept up her spine, until the loose hairs on the back of her neck were an oppressive blanket. "I'm happy you confided in me."
"Happy?"
Why did he look so surprised? "Yes. I would only have been disappointed if you lied to me."
She leaned toward the window, peering out through the thawed center of the frosted glass. The chill radiating off the freezing pane cooled her hot cheeks. The road was lined with more evergreen trees, their needle-like leaves dark against the deep gray, moonlit sky.
It was hard to tell if the village was up ahead, but they couldn't be far anymore. She sat back, struggling to get comfortable as the coach hobbled over rutted cobblestones, the first sign that they were approaching civilization.
"I hope you're as hungry as I am, all this bumping along has increased my appetite."
"Mine too."
She didn't think she'd imagined the hint of irreverence in his bashful smile. Maybe his quip about Yuka's bad manners rubbing off on him hadn't been a joke. There had to be a reason the two bards were friends, and this wasn't the first time something Taelan said had surprised her. But she had to set aside her curiosity, for the moment. They had more important matters to hash out.
"Before we arrive I'd like to apologize for the inconvenience of this entire situation. I know it's been awkward, and not to sound uncouth, but I don't have the luxury of a normal courtship." Whatever that entailed. At least they had a connection through Taelan's music that wasn't entirely brand new. "What I mean to say is, if we can speak plainly to one another tonight, we'll both have an easier time of it." She studied his face, hoping he would understand. "Do you agree?"
"I do, my lady. Wholeheartedly."
Akora's blessing, that was a relief.
Alori released a drawn breath, loosening into her seat as lights from the town finally appeared ahead of them, burning through the darkness. She had always heard that women were more complicated than men, but getting to know Taelan thus far had been like trying to navigate a labyrinth. She had to hope things would be easier for them, now that they had agreed to be more honest with each other.
That wouldn't be too much to ask for, would it?
♫♪♫
Ville-Tokki was a small village, its town center consisting of a few well maintained shops, a school, and a steepled church lining the one serviceable road through town. The restaurant they would be dining at, which took up the entire first floor of the Ville-Tokki Inn, was well respected throughout the Realms. Alori had never dined there herself, but anyone who had heard of the place knew that it was the pastoral locale's single noteworthy attraction. The inn's success was the reason potholes in the road were promptly repaired, and the shopfronts repainted every few years.
Gas lamps adorned with cheerful wreaths lined the sidewalk. A delicate flurry of snow fell around the carriage, sticking to the ground and the evergreen sprigs tied into a star shape on the inn's door.
"How lovely," Alori murmured, stepping down from the coach to accept Taelan's outstretched arm.
Together they walked into the warm golden light of the restaurant, ducking their heads below a bundle of mistletoe. Alori wouldn't have been surprised if Hamoni had requested to have the symbolic greenery hung above the entrance, but the joke was on the marchioness because Taelan didn't seem to know what it was.
The dining room might have fit a dozen couples seated at cozy distances to one another, but tonight there would be only one couple cozying up together. A small round table was positioned near a large fireplace that stretched across the brick wall at the back of the room. Alori and Taelan shrugged out of their outerwear and were shown to their seats by a friendly waiter in black and white livery.
Alori busied her hands beneath the table in the excess folds of her skirt. Usually she preferred to avoid such bold displays of privilege as all this, but tonight she couldn't find the will to be angry at her matchmaking grandmother for setting things up behind her back.
How had Hamoni known this was just what she needed?
A bottle of wine had been set out on the table, along with two long-stemmed glasses. Taelan slid the glasses toward him and began pouring out measures of the dark red alcohol before Alori could remind him it was the server's job. Not wanting to embarrass him, she decided not to mention it. It was rather endearing.
They toasted, then took their first tentative sips in companionable silence.
The wine was a decent vintage with a smooth finish, if a bit stronger than she was accustomed to. Taelan held his glass by the stem, absently tracing the circumference of the base with two fingers.
"I didn't expect to be the one sitting here with you tonight, my lady. I acted selfishly and thought I'd ruined my chance."
"I had to find out why you ran away, didn't I?" Alori squirmed in her chair, regretting the pinched look on his face. Teasing probably wasn't the right approach. "If it makes you feel better, I've already forgiven you. But I can't take credit for this evening. All this was my grandmother's idea." She glanced around the quaint but well-kept dining room. "This inn is quite charming, don't you think?"
"It is. I've seen it a hundred times but never ventured inside." His shoulders tensed, both hands twisting around his glass.
Alori wanted to tell him he didn't need to feel embarrassed. His lack of wealth didn't matter to her, and it wasn't as though he was expected to pay for their meals tonight. The bond between the queendom and its people was kept in balance by the union of royals and commoners. Her father had once been part of the working class, as had Hamoni. There was nothing shameful in it.
She leaned forward, pressing the back of her hand to the tablecloth, her palm open toward him. "I'm glad you're here with me tonight, Taelan." The rustic chandelier hanging over their heads gently swayed, creating shadows like phantom fingers caressing her wrist. "I don't suppose I could convince you to play the piano for me, now that your secret is out...? Tomorrow, perhaps?"
He looked down at her hand and the weight seemed to lift off him. She thought he might touch her, or reach for her hand, but he only smiled. "If that's what you want, Your Highness, then certainly."
"I want you to call me by my name. There's no reason to continue with titles and pleasantries."
His lips hung open a moment before he spoke. "You want me to call you... Alori?"
She nodded. "Please. I'd prefer it."
"All right." She felt the intensity of his stare down to her bones.
The server appeared between them, quiet and unassuming. He dropped a small platter of bread and cheese on the table, then disappeared back into the kitchen. They both reached for a roll at the same time, their fingers brushing. Alori pulled away first.
"I'm sorry." Taelan dropped his roll onto his plate, shoving his hands into his lap. "I don't know where my manners are. My mother would be appalled."
"Oh, I doubt that. I'm sure she's very proud of you. For one thing, you have excellent posture."
He chuckled, his face softening. "I'll admit she was forever sticking her hand in my back and squawking." They both laughed at his high-pitched mimicry of Mother Lee's merciless disciplinary technique. When their amusement cooled, he took another sip of wine. "She'd love to meet you one day, to pay her respects in person."
Alori covered her lips with two fingers, hiding a quiet hiccup behind her half-empty glass. Unfortunately, she hadn't drank enough to gloss over her disappointment. "I'd be happy to meet your mother, but she owes me nothing... My mother would have liked to meet her, too. Apart from being with her children, she was happiest when she was helping people."
"Just like you, my– Alori."
It had been an accident. She knew Taelan hadn't meant to say those words together, My Alori. But now that she'd heard it, there was no denying the accidental endearment's profound effect.
A delicate, tender feeling unfurled in Alori's chest as she stared into the fire's rollicking flames, and she realized, quite suddenly, that she was halfway in love with Taelan already. It didn't seem to matter that they had only set eyes on each other two days ago, and she still knew very little about the talented bard whose music had been bewitching her for the better part of a year. When it came to such feelings as this, time and circumstance were irrelevant.
It wasn't really a surprise. Taelan was the sort of man she'd always imagined she might fancy. He was kind, gracious, and thoughtful. He was reserved, without being unapproachable. Unlike Yuka, he wasn't arrogant or overbearing. He hadn't been transparent about his music right away, but could she blame him for wanting to be chosen for more than his talent?
When she thought of it that way, his convictions weren't so different from her own.
The server brought their meals and another bottle of wine. Outside, the snow began to fall with greater urgency. Big fluffy flakes gusted in front of the inn's thick windows, obscuring the view of the lamplit sidewalk. Alori and Taelan chatted, ate slowly, and watched the silent show, exchanging glances that lengthened and grew more expressive as the evening wore on.
When there were only rings of sediment at the bottom of their glasses, and crumbs left on their dessert plates, Alori walked to the window that looked out over the sidewalk.
"It's really piling up," she murmured to herself, crossing her arms against unpleasant memories of the cold. She wasn't suffering now, safely indoors by the fire. This was how snow was meant to be enjoyed. "Do you think–?"
She started to turn back toward the dining room and froze. A pair of deep set smoky eyes were inches from her face. Taelan's presence engulfed her, causing her head to spin from more than the alcohol.
When had he walked up behind her? She hadn't heard a thing.
She pressed a hand to her waist in an effort to balance her tilted equilibrium. Her voice came out weak and scratchy. "Do you think we'll be able to return to the Conservatory tonight?"
"That would depend." He looked past her into the storm. "How accustomed are your stags and driver to riding through snow drifts at night?"
Her stomach flipped. "Not very."
"Then I suppose they'll have you stay overnight, in an abundance of caution." He searched her face, his gaze flickering down to her mouth. "Don't worry, they've probably already reserved the nicest room for you."
She swallowed the growing lump in her throat. "What about you? Will you be staying here at the inn, too?"
"I should think so, unless you would rather they accommodate me elsewhere."
A woodsy hint of campfire mingled with the cinnamon and pine aroma that clung to Taelan's clothes. The fruity tang of wine was sweet on his breath. The shame she'd detected in him earlier was gone, but she wasn't sure if she'd misinterpreted its cause or if the alcohol had temporarily lowered his inhibitions. Either way, Alori was disappointed that the night was winding down.
The sky was black beyond the snow-shower, the gas lamps fighting to illuminate the darkness. Even the fire seemed to be burning less enthusiastically than it had just a little while ago.
Taelan stepped up beside her at the window. She glanced sidelong at him, wondering if he had any notion of how he made her feel, if he knew that in these final moments of the night she couldn't muster the dignity to care whether his love was real. She wanted him all the same.
"I would have you stay here."