Lying down in his mother's lap, he cried his heart out, as she couldn't stand her son's pain but knew that he was wrong this time for not telling her the truth.
"Mama I can't lose her, I really can't." She felt bad for Mayra, but couldn't see her son's condition like this too, she was a mother after all. She caressed his hair as tears slowly rolled down her cheeks.
"You won't! Go and talk to her, you really should have told her everything earlier."
"Mama she doesn't want to meet me. She didn't even look at me at the hospital. I shouldn't have gone to meet her mama, I really shouldn't have."
She was somewhere responsible for the situation. Years back she had to lie for her son's happiness. She had to lie about Maahi's death to him, even though she know he would grieve for her, but she had to keep him safe. She had to keep her son's heart safe, even if it meant lying to him about his own girlfriend. As she had seen him cry for her, she wanted to walk up to him and tell that it wasn't the truth but she couldn't do that.
"Aryan, I have to tell you something..." He looked up at his mother.
"Yes?" He whispered as he waited for to speak.
"Something that I should have told you years back and I am sorry for keeping it from you. I am sure she told you about it, now that you've met her, but I want you to know the reason behind it. The day you told me you want to get married to her, I went to meet her, to her home. What I saw there was something that was so shocking for me, and I couldn't get you to find that about her, because you were crazy for her. She was cheating on you Aryan. She told she would leave him, but I shouldn't let you know about this. But Aryan cheating is not a mistake it was her choice. How could I let my son be hurt at the end of the day because of her. I was just trying to protect you Aryan, I am sorry. I asked her to leave your life, I couldn't hurt you by the truth and so decided to lie, even though I knew it's going to hurt you, but I knew you would get over her in few years, I didn't want you to be hurt by the fact that she cheated on you."
To her surprise Aryan's reaction wasn't of anger or hurt from the lie his mother had told, he had no reaction whatsoever. He felt the pain of seeing Mayra distant from him more than the truth his mother just opened up to.
"Mama I have moved on even long before I realized I did mama. It was just me being stupid to go and meet her. She called me and I couldn't think of anything at that moment, I shouldn't have gone. Back then, when I lost maa, I just wanted someone because I was alone at that time, I realized that what we had was nothing but physical attraction. Every moment of that day when I met her, I could just think of Mayra, of how she made me smile at the most random times, of how she loved and lived the little moments of her life, of how she looked at everything around her with a whole different view than mine, of how she smiled through every problem that came in her life, of how she loved my family as her own, of how I could be myself around her, I need her mama, I can't lose her! Maahi was behind me the whole time even after I told her I am married and I have nothing for her! What do I do mama? I just wanted a closure, I have nothing to do with her, she's nothing to me mama! I should have told Mayra, she is hurt because of me!"
"Go Aryan, go to her. She needs you, love has the power to heal everything. Talk to her, tell everything that's in your heart, she is going to understand."
He had decided to go to her and speak to her, tell her everything even if she didn't want to listen, and then leave it on her to decide.
~
"Is everything okay between both of you?" Maanvi asked him, hesitantly.
"Maa, I promise you that she will not be hurt because of me, I will fix everything between us." He assured her as she passed a painful smile at him.
He took slow steps towards her room, and found the door closed as he knocked and waited for few minutes for her to open. But she didn't open, and he knew she wouldn't.
"Mayra please give me a chance to explain, I want to talk to you." He spoke leaning on the door but got no reply in return.
"I can't let anything between us get ruined, because of misunderstandings. What you saw on my phone was just a part of the story, it was my past Mayra which I knew I had to share with you before you get to know it all yourself. I am at fault for that I know but give me a chance to clear it all please. Yes, I did meet her once, but I don't love her, actually I never did. Please open the door Mayra, I want to talk to you directly, please."
Mayra heard every word that he said, her heart told her to accept everything he was saying but she didn't want to hurt herself anymore, by letting a hope grow inside her.
After waiting for more than thirty minutes outside her door, he walked downstairs. He wasn't going to give up, he just wanted to talk to her face to face, clear out everything right when she is there with him.
She picked up her phone, to go through the pictures of both of them together which they clicked in LA. With each picture that she swiped, tears landed on the screen. She wanted those old times back. She wanted to live that part of her life again, she wanted him.
"Mayra, please talk to him. He has been waiting since so long for you to open the door. Just talk to him for once. Then the decision is yours, just give him a chance at least. Do you want to live with the regret that you didn't even give this relationship a chance, even when you could? It's all in your hands, just give him one chance, please Mayra." Aadya looked at her.
Walking up to her table, she sat down pulling out a diary from the shelf, as she started penning down her feelings. It was an escape for her, every time she felt like her heart was heavy, she wanted to let it all go, to make her feel better. She penned down everything right at that moment from where it all started, to where that relationship had brought them.
Her eyes were tired from the constant crying, but how could she help it. She wanted him back, but in the way her heart accepted him, in the way where he loved her the same way as she did. Little did she know he had stronger feelings for her.
Two souls who wanted each other, still kept distancing by blaming themselves. But somewhere both of them had a hope. A hope of getting back together, a hope of having a future together. Which none of them knew if it was ever going to come true or not.
She wanted to give him a chance to explain, but didn't want any hope to rise in her heart, of them being happily together. She didn't want to hurt herself from the expectations she had kept once. She looked back at all the moments they both shared and just hoped that god had planned something better for them.
At this stage of her life she missed her dad so much. Without giving a second thought, she went to her car, and drove to the place her heart took her.
His home.
Somewhere where she found her peace. But he wasn't there and nor did she come to meet him.
"Dad." She called out as she very well knew where he would be. In the backyard he sat on the swing they had.
"Mayra?!" He stood up as she ran to hug him. He placed his hand on her head, as he smiled seeing her home.
No matter what connection the two of them had, she was always going to consider his family as hers.
"You're all upset and disappointed with me na?" She looked at him as he made her sit next to him.
"Of course no! You are a very understanding and a mature girl, you know what is right and what is wrong for you." He smiled at her.
"Dad why can't we get the happiness from this marriage..."
"I have a cross question, why won't you get the happiness from this marriage?" She looked up at him. "Mayra, relationships work two ways, even if one of them doesn't stand strong in it, it completely starts shaking, and then nothing will go right. Aryan was wrong at his place for not letting you know, but you are not right either. I know he hurt you, and he has realized it, I am not taking his side, but telling you the truth. We should never make conclusions based on assumptions, you know that very well. You should just give him one chance to explain, he isn't asking you to accept him again with that one chance. He just wants you to listen to everything he has to say. He has the answers to your questions Mayra, give him a chance and then decide whatever you want to."
"I don't want to keep hopes and end up hurting myself later..."
"Look at yourself and tell me truly, don't you still have some hope growing inside you. I am sure you do. After listening to him, I am sure you will make the best decision for both of you. But just give him a chance for that, so that you don't live with any regrets later on." He explained softly.
"Thank you so much dad." She hugged him tight, as he smiled at her.
~
Mayra decided to give him a chance to explain himself. She took her phone from the bedside table and dropped a text for him. "Meet me today at 5." What place could be better than the starlight they often visited, where there would be no one, but just them.
As she descended the stairs, she caught her mother's attention and her expressions changed looking at her daughter's condition. Not only was she physically hurting but mentally and emotionally too.
Without waiting even for a second she hugged her mother, "What did I do the deserve all of this mama? Why the people I love just end up leaving me alone and broken."
"Mayra, don't do this to yourself please. It's the situation, you're not to be blamed for anything. But just for once give him a chance, everyone deserves to correct their mistakes right."
"Mama what if we were just meant to cross paths but not meant to be." She broke the hug looking at her mother who felt helpless from the whole situation. On one side she had the promise made to her by Aryan, and on the other side the pain her daughter was going through.
"The decision will be yours Mayra, just don't bring regret and guilt in your life, it mentally shatters the person for the whole life. It's better to accept things with a heavy heart and try to make it work later on than to live with regret of having a chance to bring back that happiness in your life but just because you had fear in your heart, you let it go. Try to listen to everything he has to say, patiently."
"I am going to meet him." She spoke as her mother passed a slight smile at her.
She walked over to the dining table as Aadya joined her for the lunch. Looking at her she spoke,
"I am scared Aadya. I never wanted to lose him, these two days made me feel like I have already lost him and they felt terrible. I don't want to put myself into that position back again, but I want to listen to what he has to say too. I don't know if I should be hopeful about this, or scared of losing him once again."
"Just go with how it is going, don't give yourself explanations, nor do create assumptions about him. He realizes his fault Mayra, he has been visiting you frequently in the hope that you would listen to him for once, why would he do that if you meant nothing to him. Just as you are scared here he is too. He doesn't know how you would react after listening to everything, if you would willingly give him a chance in your life again or not." Aadya said as she held her hand giving a reassuring squeeze.
"My heart would have forgiven him long back Aadya, but my mind is racing with the pictures I saw of them together, it pricks my heart to see the man I love with someone else like this."
"They were all old pictures, probably when he was in school..."
"But he met her after I came back. How do you think I wouldn't feel they still had something?"
"We are no one to make assumptions about him, let him clarify himself. There are times in life when what we are seeing is not the truth. He has the answers to all your questions Mayra, listen to him."
~
Taking a deep breath, they both took slow steps towards each other. There have been times where not even a single word left their mouth, but their eyes did the thing, today was just one another day to that. But this time it was just thousands of questions in her mind and all the answers to them in his.
"How are you?" Was the first thing he brought himself to ask.
"If it matters, then i'm not good. You wanted to talk about something..." She walked ahead of him as her back faced him.
"After I lost maa, I was all alone and that was when I had gone to LA for my studies. When you have no one with you, even a stranger who smiles at you once becomes your favorite person. Maahi was that person in my life. By spending my time with her I didn't realize when I started getting so attracted to her, which the fifteen-year-old Aryan gave it the name of love, true love in his words. I stayed with her until my high school and college got over. When I told Mama I wanted to get married to her, she told me I am too young for that, and that I was just being crazy for her! But I didn't listen to her. Mama told that she would go and talk to her about it. After which she wanted to go to LA for a week, to talk to her family. But she never came back, because I got the news that the plane she traveled in was crashed. I grieved for that loss for years, I felt like I was all alone again, having no one in my life literally. Just now is when I got to know the truth about this. Mama had gone to her home, to talk to her but she found out that she was cheating on me, because of which Mama asked her to leave me alone. She lied to me just because she didn't want to see me hurt. But when she told me all of this, I didn't even feel a single thing for Maahi, I wasn't angry at Mama for lying to me, I wasn't angry at the whole situation. I could just think about you because that is what mattered to me."
"And when you came into my life, you changed everything for me. When you came back here, I randomly got a call, and to my shock it was Maahi. At that moment I didn't understand what to do, my mind was a complete mess and in all of that I went to meet her just for our closure. She had just come back, all these years I was trying to move on from something where I had got no closure, but Mayra I didn't even have an inch of happiness seeing her back. Every moment I spend that day there, I could just think of you. All me and Maahi had between us was nothing but physical attraction, I didn't realize that until I met you. I went and told her that I don't need her, I don't feel anything for her and that she should leave me alone because I am married and happy, she was still behind me, I didn't meet her after that, which is why she started sending our old pictures on my chat, and was behind me the whole time, I have ended things with her Mayra, I have nothing with her, I told her that too, it was all a misunderstanding that was caused Mayra, she is the one causing problems in my life because she wants me to go back to her. I shouldn't have gone for that one time also I know, I am sorry Mayra. I had nothing with her more than physical attraction in the past, and I still don't, I just want you. It was with you that I realized that only you were my strength and weakness. With you around, I felt like nothing would go wrong in my life because you are there to fix it. I would wake up each day to not find you around, trust me Mayra I missed you. I missed you each day when I would come home from work, I really missed you. I am just bad at expressing what I felt. At this point I wish my heart could speak up directly to let you know what you mean to me. I would smile at the most random times as I thought about you, how you would talk non-stop which I could quietly sit and listen to for hours, that happiness on your face when you watched your favorite movies, when I played your favorite songs, the way your face lit up each time you speak about something you're so passionate about, the way this workaholic guy only had one distraction in his life which he loved the most, his miss chatterbox. It was the way I could be myself around you, I know I have hurt you several times, but even that slightest change in your behavior made me upset, I couldn't see the one who always brought a smile to my face, being angry with me. Yes, I loved teasing you, because you get annoyed at the silliest things, but my intention was never to hurt you. I am so used to having you around and listening to everything you have to say, that when you're silent and the reason is me, somewhere inside me it keeps pricking, that silence kills me, Mayra. Yeah before marriage my favorite sight was this starlight above us, but after I met you, I didn't realize when that favorite sight became you. My favorite sight is seeing you enjoy your ice cream, my favorite sight is seeing you enjoy when it's raining heavily, my favorite sight is when you dress up looking gorgeous, and my favorite thing to do was spending time with you. I had fallen in love with you even before I realized what love is." His eyes filled up with tears as he spoke.
Mayra patiently listened to everything as he spoke, as he told her every single thing he loves about her. Her heart was weak for him, she couldn't control the endless tears that streamed down her face as every word of his filled her broken heart.
She wanted to run to him and hug him tight, letting him know how much she loved him. As she turned back to look at him, his back was facing her.
"Mayra, I am not here because she cheated on me, I am not here because I am alone now, I am here because I want you, only you!"
Her heart skipped a beat at his words, thousands of feelings in her heart, as she heard him. She didn't understand what to do.
"I know I am not the best person for you. You deserve the best Mayra, but please give me the chance to be that best version of myself so that I can be the one for you. I can't lose you Mayra."
•••
i think i just cried a little as i wrote this chapter...
also, 10 chapters to go and idk how i feel about this!