(Tw)
Olivias pov-
'I love you my sister always and forver. Rest in peace.'
_______
Time skip 3 months.
These last few months I haven't been eating properly.
I haven't been out of bed.
The only thing i have accomplished is relapsing.
Mrs Thomas was right, it was my fault that they died. They were coming to visit me.
I caused this.
I get up from my bed and walk towards the bathroom locking the door just in case.
Once when i forgot to lock the door mama came in and nearly saw me.
I made sure to always double check that the door was always locked.
I look at my self in the mirror and i almost didn't recognise the person before me.
I had bags under my eyes because of the nightmares that have crawled its way back into my mind.
The car crash brought Back memories. I can still hear their screams.
I tare my eyes off from my reflecting and open my cupboard grabbing a plastic box.
(***)
I open it and smile when i see what's inside.
I take the razor blade from the box and discarding the box somewhere else.
I sit down on my Bathrrom floor and pull down my joggers far enough where i can see the other scars around my thigh.
I ran out of space on my wrist to i had to make do.
I place the blade on my thigh moving my hand slowly so i can feel the pain for as long as possible.
One for millie.
One for Betty.
And one for me.
(***)
Once im done i pull up my joggers after stopping the bleeding and walk back into my room to go back to bed.
I wasn't going to sleep but i figured id try and close my eyes for a while so I wasn't just staring at nothing.
________________
(Inside Olivia's dream)
(***)
'Come here little mouse i promise i wont hurt you. Me and my friends just want to have some fun with you.'
Once I hear the liquid moving in a bottle i realise that he was drunk.
My breathing becomes shallow and i tuck my self into a tight ball scooting from my 'bed' into the nearest corner in the basement.
'Please.. please daddy no' i cry.
I see him and his friends move closer to me and i so even more.
'I love it when you call me daddy, say it again' he says placing his hand on his privet parts.
What is he doing?
One of his friends i know as jack has a small smirk on his face and he continues to walk closer to me whilst the others stay still.
'Let me have the first go boys, i want her to feel me.' I let out a cry and i try to cover my legs from their view.
He is too close to me.
I can't breathe.
'How old are you little one?' He says licking his lips.
I sniffle and say between cry's '8 s-sir'
He smiles "older than i thought, and she knows manners however did you teach her?'
My 'father' reply's with ' i gave her a few lessons, haven't i sweetheart?'
I nod my head yes and jack starts to loosen his belt.
The others pull out chairs and take chugs of their drinks.
Jack grabs my wrists and ties them together behind my back.
'No.. no please n-no!' I plead.
But i cant move.
He places his hand around my nose and mouth so i cant breathe.
He plunges himself inside me and i let out a scream.
'Great pussy to, you used this?'
My 'father' shows jack a smile whilst nodding yes.
Jack moans a word i dont know but it was on the lines of 'fuck'
(***)
_____________
I wake up and my neck feels sore.
I get up and walk to the bathroom where i can see claw marks on my neck with a few red lines.
My throat begins to close up as i remember the memory i had of them last night.
I make my way over to my bed again and i check my phone for the first time in 4 weeks.
There was a lot of messages.
From Eva, Liliana, mama and a instagram nofification.
I check the time and see that is was 12pm, ive only been sleeping for 2 hours.
This is what i mean by how bad they were getting. I cant even have 2 hours without them tormenting me. It's been 6 years and they are all dead. Yet,they still find ways to torture me.
I glance back at my phone and open the instagram notification ignoring all of my friends texts.
'Landon_jenkings98 wants to send you a message'
I fling my legs over my bed so my feet are grazing the ground. It was sent 5 days go and I haven't bothered to see what it was about.
I look at the message that he sent and my breathing compleatly stops.
Landon_jenkings98- i saw you the other day, in the paint ball studio. Are you ok?
Landon..
Tears threaten to leave my eyes but i dont let them pass.
Me- im okay. Thank you.
I reply and a couple of minutes later he responds. Why is he talking to me? What i did was shitty and I would understand if he never wanted to see me again.
Landon_jenkings98- are you sure? You were crying pretty heavily when i last saw you. And you haven't answered me in 5 days why now?
I'm a bit taken over by his words. But i decided that i should answer him honestly.
Me- I haven't checked my phone in 4 weeks.
Landon_jenkings98- did your phone break or something?
Me- something like that.
Landon_jenkings98- i have to go but ill be here always if you need me.
Me- ill take you up on that offer.
I turn my phone off and suddenly I'm full with motivation. I decide to have a shower and clean my apartment. But im still full with motivation and i dont want to go back to sleep so i grab my coat, phone and keys.
________________
I was walking for about an hour when suddenly all i want to do it lay in bed and never wake up.
Fuck,no not now im in the middle of nowhere.
I see a bench over looking the water and decide to go and sit on there for a minute untill i have motivation to walk home.
I place my self in a comfortable position and look at the water ripples caused but fish.
(***)
I have an erge and I frantically claw at my wrists trying to rid of the overwhelming feeling opening up old cuts in the process as my nails are the only thing i have.
I look back at the water and wonder if i just jumped would anyone notice.
I mean i didnt have any family. Only 2 friends and they have other people to hang out with so i dont think they would waist anymore time on me.
My eyes start to tear up and i try and get myself up from the bench.
My vision is blurry as i walk over to the railing of the bridge trying to think of a reason to stay. But i have none.
I start to climb the railing my foot on the second bar when i get a call with the un-mistakeable ringtone.
Ghosting away.
A tear slips from my eye and rolls down my cheek.
I continue to climb the railing and only when i am on the outside of the bridge do i answer the phone.
"Hello is this Olivia rose harmon?"
It was a guy this time. Not the old cookie grandma.
"Yep, this is she." I say trying to cover my cries.
"Well i regret to inform you in the next 24 hours or so you are goi-"
I dont let him Continue and i finnish for him. "yes yes I know I'm going to die I know how this shit works. I'm about to go once you've finnished this call actually."
"How do you know ma'm"
"Because im the one who is killing me."
I hang up and throw my phone into the river along with my coat. Suddenly i feel a pare of eyes staring into the back of my head, i turn around and see him. He holds my stare and lets out a shaky breath running his hands through his hair.
"Please dont do this," he begs, "please olivia we've stopped it once we can do it again."
(A/N)
Poor livy 😕
ANYWAYS FAMOUS WORDS 😍😍
I loved writing this chapter with all my heart.
(1458 words)