Cassian
By midafternoon, Aelin had signed all the documents the Master of the Bank brought over, officially washing her hands of the Keep and the horrid memories those walls contained. She'd rid herself of the enormous property with little care, saddling its new owners with the responsibility to care for it and the Guild - signing it over with nothing more than a few snide comments about leaving it to what was sure to be a bleak fate in their sorry hands.
Not only had Aelin tricked her way into inheriting a fortune that would rival that of a small country, but she also then nearly doubled it in the matter of hours with the sale - freeing herself from her responsibilities as the Queen of Assassins. Meanwhile, I still hadn't wrapped my mind around everything she must have done to accomplish that.
Though, if she had wanted to keep that title, I certainly wouldn't have complained.
When we finally left, I could tell we were all glad to turn our backs to the towering Keep. I for one, would gladly never set my eyes on the stone monstrosity ever again. And it wasn't because I'd had to witness my mate turn into that cruel, heartless version of herself, no -
No, I knew a thing or two about masks. About the necessity of them. Hell, the entire Night Court did. But I also understood, better than maybe anyone else here, the ways a brutal childhood could warp you, when the only person you could rely on was yourself. How it demanded you become something else - force you to build up impenetrable walls because if no one could reach you, no one could hurt you - how it taught you that sometimes being feared was the only way to keep yourself safe.
Nothing about the person she'd become today had scared me, had disgusted me. If anything, I only fell deeper in love with my little warrior.
To have survived what she had, and still have the capacity for kindness, for love? She really was the strongest of us all. Cauldron knew that if Rhysand hadn't shown up at the training camp when he did ... I doubt I'd even be a shadow of the male I was today.
But I couldn't deny I was thankful she could finally peel off that mask, that I could look my mate in her enchanting eyes and fucking beg her to admit to the thoughts I knew were running rampant in her too-clever mind. That had been the true hardship of witnessing her mask today, knowing I wasn't able to reach her to sort through the soul-splitting calamity of last night.
Now, I finally could. I'd get down on my knees if she needed me to - I couldn't care less about my dignity at this point. I just needed her to talk to me, to let me do what I needed to do to fix this, fix us.
I'd spent every moment since that interaction on the rooftop in a haze of needle-pricked terror, each thud of my heart carrying an echo of her words from last night.
Don't touch me like that.
The misery and pain etched into her rain and tear-soaked face - before she turned and fled from me - was imprinted in my mind, my heart, my fucking soul.
The night we'd spent scouring the city for sight or scent of her, only to return empty-handed and broken-hearted had been the worst kind of torture. The dark god himself couldn't come up with a crueler punishment. Except perhaps the moment when she'd finally returned - only to ignore us entirely.
It was a miracle I'd managed to keep it together at all, when I felt like I was drowning on dry land. I didn't think I was going to be able to endure it, but then, in the Keep -
There had been a fleeting spark of emotion in her beguiling eyes.
It was only a flash, but it was unmistakable. A split second when her mask had faltered, when she'd looked over at us with pain and sorrow brimming in her oceanic eyes, and then -
A memory spawned. Of what she'd called herself when I'd finally made her admit that we were mates.
A vicious monster.
My heart had broken at that moment when suddenly, I understood. This wasn't about us, about me. All my fears from last night had dissipated when her reaction had nothing to do with anything I had done. No.
It was being back here, in this place. Where the cowardly Captain of the Guard took out his own suffering and self-loathing on her. Where the predatory son of a bitch who'd once been her master taunted her with the sins of her past, despite the fact he'd forced them upon her.
All of it had resulted in her coming to the erroneous conclusion that we would be like them. That her actions would make us think of her as less than the resplendent goddess that she was. That we'd finally seen that she wasn't worthy of us.
Righteous fury bubbled up on her behalf, only to settle into icy resolve the longer we'd remained in that house of horrors.
Aelin was brilliant, but I knew that trauma could make blind men of us all. I didn't blame her for it, but there wasn't a chance in hell I was going to stand by while it ate her alive. It was time to settle this, once and for all. I'd rid her of the foolish notion that she didn't deserve us, even if I had to fuck it right out of her.
The carriage deposited us at the edge of the slums, and we kept to the shadows as we made our way back to the apartment, silent and unseen. My mind had been spinning the entire journey, trying and failing to come up with a plan on how to best approach Aelin. To get her to talk to us about what her actions last night were really about, to admit why she'd run off the way she had.
I knew she'd be difficult to approach. It was beyond obvious that she had no intention of speaking to any of us. Fuck, even just look at us. At me.
I've been the general of the Night Court for hundreds of years, led my troops to victory in countless battles, and was lauded across Prythian for my skill in strategy. Yet this one, deceptively small female made me feel like I was still a fumbling foot soldier - well trained in theory, but with no understanding of the realities of war, or how to wage it.
When we finally reached the warehouse, Aelin kept walking, heading toward the river several blocks away without so much as a word or a glance back at us. I had to swallow down the growl climbing up my throat at her attempt to ignore us again.
She really was the most obstinate female I'd ever encountered.
Aedion took a step to follow, but I cut him off with a glare, daring him to challenge me. Thankfully, it seemed he'd rid himself of his death wish - for today, at least - because when he saw the violence brimming in my eyes, he backed up, hands raised in surrender.
"I'll go get her," I bit out.
I didn't look back as I stalked down the street after her, but I could sense that my brothers stayed behind - which I was thankful for. After the fucking roof last night, what I'd seen her endure today, and what I'd realized - this was something I needed to handle on my own. The others would have their chance, but I was the one she'd run away from, and my mate needed to realize that there was absolutely nothing she could do that would drive me away. She was mine. Forever.
Mine. My clever, cunning, absolutely maddening little mate.
She was wandering down the street morosely, her shoulders slumped, head drooping. She looked exhausted, defeated. As though everything worth living for had been ripped from her. I frowned at the sight. Hating that it wasn't some enemy that I could tear to shreds to keep her safe, but her own subconscious that was tormenting her.
As I sidled up next to her, she said, "I'm not in the mood Ae- oh." She had finally turned her head, and realized it wasn't her cousin next to her. She blinked. "What are you doing?"
I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping at her. I was irrationally angry that she was surprised that I, or any of my brothers, would follow her. We were her mates, it was hard-wired into our very beings to protect her, to care for her. Even when she wasn't thinking clearly, I had hoped she still knew that deep in her bones.
I wanted to shake her, to shout at her, but I knew that would have her shutting down faster than I could blink. So instead, I feigned nonchalance.
"Joining you for a walk," I shrugged. "That a problem?"
She eyed me warily, the calculating gleam in her eyes making me want to growl. I'd been nothing but blatantly transparent in my intentions towards her since the moment she'd held a knife to my throat, so the fact she felt she had to puzzle out my motives now was infuriating. I had to shove my clenched fists into my pockets to hide how they trembled with rage.
"Fine," she sighed. "I don't suppose I can convince you to turn around, then?"
"Not a chance in hell, little warrior," I replied cheerily.
She rolled her eyes and continued on, but there was something about the whole thing that felt forced. We walked silently for a few blocks until we reached the glimmering brown river. A decrepit, filthy length of cobblestone walkway ran along the water's edge. This city made the pits of hell seem welcoming.
Coming to a halt, she stared out across the muddy water, crossing her arms. The afternoon light was nearly blinding as it reflected off the calm surface, making her golden hair gleam like liquid sunlight. For a long moment, I watched her as she watched the water, neither of us breaking the tenuous silence.
I felt raw, exposed. My nerves were a live wire as I waited for her to speak, silently begging her to finally open up to me.
Finally, she ground out, "Out with it, then."
"Out with ... what?" I asked hesitantly.
My heart thumped in my chest, anticipation buzzing in my veins. We were approaching the crux of the matter; I could feel it. I was ready for it. She just needed to give me an opening.
She waved a lazy hand, but I didn't miss the faint tremors that lined her delicate fingers. "I assume that you're the sacrificial lamb who was sent to say your goodbyes, offer up paltry apologies on behalf of all of you? Don't bother, I'll be fine. I'm more than aware that it's not you - it's me."
Her words are callous, but her voice - fuck, her voice - it's thick with emotion, breathy at the end like she's trying not to cry.
She still hasn't looked at me.
Then the full force of what her words hit me, and all I can say is, "What the fuck are you talking about?"
It's her turn to shrug now, her shoulders tight. "It's okay, really. I was expecting it. I knew better than to expect any of you to stick by me once you'd witnessed the truth for yourselves. After the realization that your mate is a vile, heartless creature." She laughed, a raw, heartbroken sound. "In my defense, I did try to warn you. I told you I was a monster; you've just finally seen it for yourself."
I'm reeling, the ground swaying beneath my feet. I'd known what this was about, but -
I was never expecting her to think we would leave her. That we could just pick up and walk away, without a second thought.
Like we hadn't traversed across the realms to chase after her stupid, self-sacrificing ass. Hadn't been ready to raze the universe to the ground in order to get her back, to keep her safe. As though at any moment, we weren't prepared and itching to disembowel anyone who even looked at her wrong.
By the cauldron, didn't she know? Know that from the moment I met her, she'd become the most important thing in the world to me - before I even knew she was my precious mate. I'd told her that I would gladly tear my wings from my body if they kept me from her, and the truth was that wouldn't even scratch the surface of the lengths I would go for her. To keep her, to protect her - there were no lines I wouldn't cross.
She was the blazing sun at the center of my universe, and there wasn't a power strong enough in this realm or any other to take me from her.
Not even her.
So, hearing that she thought we'd so callously abandon her? It was the last straw. My restraint shattered.
"Fuck it, that's it," I snapped.
Lunging forward, I swept her off her feet, throwing her over my shoulder. Her sharp squeak of surprise was fucking adorable - not that I'd ever say that aloud.
"Cassian!" She gasped in surprise. "What the fuck are you doing?"
I didn't respond, keeping her steady with a firm grasp on her hip as I stalked down the street. I wasn't delusional enough to think she couldn't get free if she wanted to - but I think her shock at the sheer audacity of my actions kept her in place. Which I planned to take full advantage of.
"Cassian," she tried again. "Put me down."
She wriggled on my shoulder, and I smacked my hand down on her luscious ass in reprimand. She gasped in surprise and outrage - and maybe a little bit of arousal, if her scent was any indication.
"No." I said sharply. "If you're going to act like a petulant brat, I'm going to treat you like one."
I might be paying for that one later.
"Excuse me?" She seethed.
Yeah ... I wasn't going to get away with that. But it would be worth it, if I knocked some sense into her first. So, instead of doing the wise thing and backtracking, I went all in.
"You heard me," I shrugged, still keeping her balanced on my shoulder - she really was a tiny thing, it was almost too easy to carry her this way. "You've been a stubborn little minx, not talking to your mates - and making ridiculous fucking assumptions. So, this is what you get."
For once, she was speechless - a victory in itself.
I marched us into the ground floor of the warehouse, kicking the door shut behind us. I found a crate against the far wall to set her down on - caging her in with my arms. My little warrior wasn't going anywhere - not until we settled this.
Or she kicked my ass. Whatever came first.
I stared down into her eyes that were now burning with a delicious firestorm of outrage and fury. I reveled in her ferocity, wanting to dance in the fucking flames. Anything was better than the desolate emptiness I'd been faced with before.
"I don't know what you think you're playing at," Aelin growled, eyes flashing, "but I am not fucking amused."
I narrowed my eyes at my little mate. If she thinks anything about our relationship is a joking matter, I'll be quick to absolve her of that notion.
"If you think there is anything fucking funny about the idea of us leaving you, then you need to have your godsdamned head examined," I ground out through my teeth.
She blinks at the barely restrained fury coating my words, and I lean in closer until our faces are scarcely a breath apart.
"You think that showing us Celaena was enough to scare us away, little mate? That being faced with the reality of your past would convince us that you're not worthy of our love, of our trust and respect?" Aelin was frozen, shocked at the vitriol pouring from my lips. "Well? Did you?"
She inclines her head in the barest nod, and my lips stretch across my teeth in a twisted semblance of a smile.
"Do you want to know what I thought when you donned the mask of Adarlan's Assassin? What was running through my mind the entire time we were in that blasted Keep?" I snarled, low in my throat.
She jerked her head from side to side. We're so close I'm sure she can feel my breath ghosting over those tantalizing lips of hers.
I leaned even closer, my lips brushing against the shell of her ear as I tell her, "I was thinking that there was nothing I wanted more than to stand back and watch you demolish each and every one of your enemies, and trying not get hard at the thought of convincing you to let me fuck you in their blood when you were done."
She shuddered against me, and I wanted to crow in victory. But I couldn't. Not yet.
Backing up until I was only a millimeter away from her face, I made sure our eyes were locked when I said, "If you're a monster, little mate, then I'm a gods-damned demon. Because I don't care who you hurt, or how heartless you act, as long as you're mine. I'll revel in the violence and dance in the bloodshed alongside you, until we show this world and all the others that we are something to be feared."
Aelin's breathing was shallow, unshed tears glimmering in her eyes. I didn't look away as I captured her tiny hand in mine, bringing my other up to cup her cheek.
"I would do all that and more, and not lose a wink of sleep. Because I know you, little mate, and no matter what mask you wear, you can't hide from me. I will always see you. I will always see you, and see your goodness, your innate purity that every villain in this cruel world couldn't take from you, no matter how hard they tried." A single tear ran down her cheek, and I brushed it away with the pad of my thumb. "It doesn't matter what you show the rest of the world, because I know you, Aelin. And I know that you are the furthest thing from a monster that has ever existed."
She clenched her eyes shut, as though she could hide from my words.
"You can't mean that," Aelin whispered. "You don't know everything that I've done, all of the horrors of my past."
I tightened my hand on her face, not lightening up my grip until her turquoise eyes popped open. I need her to watch me, to understand the irrevocable truth of what I'm about to say next.
"The details of your past don't change the truth. That you are the female who captivated me, enthralled me with the goodness emanating from you even though you tried to hide it. That you have endured the worst of what this world has to offer but still emerged victorious, refusing to break, refusing to become a villain like them. That you are the female who captured my heart before I even realized you were my mate." I bring her small hand up to my chest, pressing it against my steadily beating heart. "You could rip my heart from my chest with your bare hands, and it wouldn't change a thing. It already belongs to you. You own every part of me, Aelin, because I am yours. Just as much as you are mine. Nothing in all the realms could rip me away from you. I will always choose you."
With that fervent declaration, she finally broke, collapsing against my chest with a shuddering sob. I cradled her against me, running my hands soothingly down her back as her small form shook with the force of her tears.
My chest cracked as she let out all of her fear, her sorrow, her pain. All of it so potent I swore I could taste it.
I let her purge all of those poisonous emotions, not caring when I felt my shirt become damp. It was entirely insignificant. The only thing that mattered was Aelin. It was only ever Aelin. I'd gladly be her rock in times of turbulence, because I'd already chosen her, long before I knew she was destined to be mine.
I always would.
I couldn't tell you how much time had passed when her sniffles subsided. All of my attention focused on my beloved mate in my arms.
Finally, she leaned back, her voice slightly hoarse as she tried to joke. "Well, there's really no getting rid of me now."
I scoffed. "As if I would ever let that happen."
I ducked my head down, capturing her lips with mine. Stars exploded behind my eyes as they always did, and I let out a rumble of pure male satisfaction when Aelin melted into the kiss, opening her mouth to me. My lips moved with ferocity against hers, pouring every ounce of my love and adoration into her, forcing her to accept it all. It was glorious, our very souls twining together with every second that passed.
The breathless moan that escaped her nearly undid me, but I mastered myself just enough to pull back, whispering against her lips, "You're mine."
Her eyelids fluttered as she answered, "And you're mine."
I growled fiercely in affirmation, capturing her lips in one last claiming kiss. I was hers. She was mine, ours. For eternity.
It was that unfortunate thought that had me remembering the rest of my brothers, who were probably pacing the hardwood floors of the apartment above us.
Reluctantly pulling back, I chuckled breathlessly at her rosy cheeks. "As much as I'd love to stay down here and prove just how completely you belong to me, you have three other mates who are waiting impatiently for you to explain how in the hell you pulled off that stunt with the will. We shouldn't keep them waiting for much longer."
Flushing impossibly further, she grumbled under her breath, but hopped off the crate. Straightening her clothes, she turned to march past me and head up the stairs.
Except I couldn't just let her think she'd gotten away with doubting us, now, could I?
As she brushed past me, I bent down to croon in her ear. "You'll pay for doubting us later, little mate. I don't think Az would forgive me if I punished you without him."
She shivered against me, but smirked. "Are you sure it's not that you don't have what it takes to punish me by yourself?"
I laughed, low and dark, but urged her forward with a sharp slap to her ass. She had no idea what I had in store for her, and I for one, couldn't fucking wait to prove just how off the mark she was with that little taunt.
If the sharp spike of the scent of her arousal was any indication, neither could she.