Sitting alone in my room I was looking out of the window which was on the left side of my bed. I had been sitting here for the last two hours, thinking and just thinking. Every time I closed my eyes, all the events from last few days came bursting through my head, and every time gasping for air I sat bolted upright.
Two days had passed since that horrible night when before leaving Elina told many terrible truths, I was unaware about. I didn't go out of this room and Manik didn't come into this room as well. Aanya remained besides me all the time. She never left me alone for a single second. She ate in the room and tried hard to make me eat forcefully also. Each morsel made me sick but I tried to eat enough for being alive.
That night when I opened my eyes, whole family was around me except Manik. Later Aanya told me that I had severe panic attack. Since that night whole family had been surprisingly quiet. No one asked me a single thing about whatever I said to manik. Not even Dadi jan, who I'm sure listened our whole argument. And Aanya, she showed the only emotion was the SORRY for everything happened to me. I feel like she wants to tell me so many things but after seeing my health condition she was avoiding to approach this topic yet.
The only thing beside eating and breathing I did, was sitting in the bathroom for long time while crying pathetically my heart out. I'm sure he must have solid reason for giving me such endless pain and unstoppable tears. But he was no where to be seen.
Sometimes sitting at the balcony, I felt his burning gaze at me. Like standing in dark room, from behind the glass of his window he was staring at me. Sometimes when door was opened and curtains of his room fluttering with soft breeze, I could feel his alluring scent in the air, like he was just around me but I couldn't see him. He was totally ignoring me, like a scared child. Who was hiding from facing deadly ghosts in the darkness. I know, I'm stupid. I myself pushed him away and when he finally obeyed me, why my eyes looking for him obsessively.
Pushing blanket off of me, I stood up over my feet. My head still feels light and quite dizzy. It still hurts when I think about everything I came to know that night but I have to gather myself. But I have to talk to Manik.
Walking towards the closet I pulled one black dress out. Today I wanted to wear something dark, same like my mood and fate. Entering into bathroom I started getting fresh. Settling the temperature of the water I had a long shower. After drying myself I changed and brushed my hairs. Looking at me in the wall sized mirror I couldn't even recognise my own-self. Dark circles under my eyes, dull pale complexion and loss of weight, I was looking more like a zombie than being a normal human being. I couldn't sleep a bit at these past few nights.
"Wao, looking so fresh and beautiful....!" very familiar and soft voice touched my ears and I turned my head to find Aanya standing few steps behind me. As usual she was truly looking good and in really positive mood. I still didn't talk to her as well because somewhere she also performed as Elina and Manik's secret sever. But except that she never made me hurt. Infect whenever I needed someone, I found her always with me. I wasn't angry at her. Not at all. Its just I still can't believe whatever I came to know. We both remained silent for a while and then finally I tried to talk.
"Aanya can I ask you something....?" I asked lowly and she nodded her head in yes. The way her expressions changed from soft ones to nervous, I'm sure she had some idea that what I wanted to know. I was still feeling completely drained so I walked towards my bed and sat over it.
"Elina said that at my engagement night manik went to her, to spend a night with her but you spoiled their night. You brought him back. Then why you all lied to me that, Elina was out of country and she didn't even know about our engagement. ...!" this question had become, the most complicated and painful puzzle of my life. The more I was thinking about it the more I was getting muddled. Aanya silently went towards huge wall sized window and opened it. Fresh salty air of sea, filled the suffocating atmosphere of this room.
"My brothers placed some strict rules about not meeting any boy at night, specially not in any hotel or pub. After all they are also typical protective brothers. But at your engagement night, I went to see my one friend and that too in the pub. I...I like him. But I'm scared to share it with my brothers yet. Because its too early....!" Aanya revealed something really shocking but I was still confused that how it linked to my question.
"I was sure that my whole family was busy in engagement ceremony and no one will notice my absence. But earth slipped under my feet when I saw Elina dancing with some unknown boy. According to all of us she should be in America but actually she didn't even go anywhere. She lied to Manik. She didn't go America. But I was so angry at her that I wanted to kill her. She was playing with Manik. But before I could confront her she already had seen me with my friend. That night we both witnessed some secret of each other....!" she mumbled, embarrassment was clear in her voice.
"But the real shock for me that night was when in parking lot I saw Manik in drunken state and that too at passenger seat of Elina's car. For a moment I didn't believe my eyes because according to the ceremony he should be enjoying his engagement instead of being devastated into alcohol. Looking at Manik's condition I was hundred percent sure that he wasn't even aware about his surroundings. Elina's evil plans seemed quite dangerous and thrilling that night....!" after listening, my heartbeat increased thousand times more than it had before and I swallowed deeply. The other side of this truth might be this much horrible, I couldn't even imagine it. That noise of the slap once again echoed into my ears. I closed my eyes tightly when I realised how he was so hurt that night.
"To bind my brother with herself she could do anything. Then with my friend I followed her and I rescued Manik from her house. In drunken state Manik was blabbering that how he will hurt you so much that you herself will leave him. But I'm sure Elina didn't know that you both already got engaged that night. So I brought my brother back into Malhotra house. With the help of driver and my friend we dropped him at the house. My friend informed our gate keeper that he brought him from the pub. So this way neither manik knew about Elina's betrayal nor Elina told my brothers about my secret meeting....!" it was a brutal realisation, one that left me shocked but also guiltier than ever. He was right that night when he was screaming that he didn't go to Elina.
"But from that day I hated her more. I was determined that I wont let her destroy my brother's life. He doesn't deserve such cheap girl as his life partner.....!" after finishing Aanya slowly turned around to face me. I was completely speechless. I never thought in my wildest dreams that everything would be this much dirtier. Walking back towards me she sat beside me and held my both hands.
"Nandni, my brother is innocent. He didn't go to Elian willingly. Infect he still thinks that at your engagement Elina was in America. I remained quite because you both were already engaged and I thought Manik had thrown Elina already out of his life so I didn't feel necessary to tell her betrayal to any one. But later when I saw how manik and you both were determined to get separate and Elina still had chance to come back in Manik's life, I told Ishan everything. First he was extremely angry at me but later he forgave me. But he swore that he would never let Elina to spoil Manik's life....! Word after word was drilling into my head and my heart was jumping out of my throat. How Elina can play with someone's emotions like this. She is so heartless person.
"This was the reason Ishan told Elina about engagement before Manik and didn't give any chance to Manik to settle the misunderstandings between both of them. And we both got successful. Elina started showing her real face to manik. I still couldn't understand if she really loves manik then why she was back stabbing him....!" listening whole truth now I understood why Ishan and Aanya hated Elina so much. Now I remember how Ishan told Elina about engagement even when Manik stopped him.
"Before that night two more times manik stayed at her home. Next day he came back with severe headache and he didn't even remember anything about those both nights. Its really embarrassing for a sister to ask her brother that what exactly happened during those two nights but I still have doubts. It was all Eliha's plan. She trapped him. Im sure even those two nights Elina made him drunk and took him with her. But Manik blames himself that may be he did something wrong because he wasn't in his senses. I know he thought it would be so cruel and unfair if he left Elina after those two nights.....!" with widely opened mouth and shocked eyes I was looking towards Aanya whose burning eyes displayed absolute nothing except hatred and disgust in them towards Elina.
I could never imagine that Elina could do such terrible things with Manik, whom she claimed to be in love. At least one burden had lifted from my heart. At least now I know that manik didn't sleep with Elina. If not sure about first two nights still I was happy that at least he didn't go to her at our engagement night.
"Dadi jan going to announce something very important. So its her strict order for each and everyone to be present at dining table. So today we going to have lunch into dining hall instead of this room. If you are ready then let's go. All are waiting for you....!" Aanya stated calmly and patiently waited for my response. I simply nodded my head and we both walked towards the exit door.
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The moment I entered into dining Hall, tense and silent atmosphere greeted me. My eyes unconsciously moved across the dining table and finally after days I saw his glimpse. Emotionless, stoned features, just robbed my breaths away. My heart soared when he didn't even look up to see that I was there.
"Nandni come here....!" Aanya pulled one chair out for me and taking a deep sigh I sat beside akil. Aanya took the chair at my other side. Everyone started eating silently. I tried to eat but each morsel was making me sick. Anticipation was twisting my stomach and a bile was rising up my throat. That painfully silent lunch stretched to half hour. During this half hour manik didn't even once move his eyes away from his plate. Finally wait got ended and Dadi jan cleared her throat to speak.
"I already told both of you that engagement will take place at the exact date we fixed. I warned both of you already that if you made a single mistake, I will cancel this engagement. And Manik, I told you that then I myself will choose the girl for you and without any objection you will get engaged to her.....!" for the first time in my entire life, I felt how a news can stop your lungs from working. How your breaths scratch your throat and how your heartbeats betray you.
"So I respect the decision of Nandni. Manik Malhotra I decided that you will get engaged to Soniya. And its my final decision...!" as soon dadi jan finished, air had escaped my lungs. For a while I didn't know how to breath as my chest was burning. Then slowly I looked up towards Manik and found colour had drained from his face.
After that announcement without asking anything more Dadi jan stood up and left. For few terse seconds Manik kept looking towards dadi jan's retreating figure in disbelief. Then abruptly he stood up with so much force that his chair flew away and collided with the floor like it weights nothing.
He also left the dining room silently. His silence left no space for any hope. I gasped audibly to let out that suffocating pain that was bursting into my chest. Everyone shifted their eyes back towards me when I was trying to breath normally but his silence was like flames, collapsing my soul.
"Nandni....!" Aanya and divya auntie came towards me. But composing myself I stood up from my chair.
"I..I'm fine. I need to go into my room....!" I tried my best to give a genuine smile but why it was so difficult. Without giving them any chance to ask me something else I left the dining room as well. But I needed to talk to him. I wanted to ask him face to face. I wanted to listen in his words that he was really agreed for this engagement. Was his love so weak that just at my one weak breaking point, he got tired of my tears. Just once I asked to leave and he changed his way. When my strength gave up and I fell down, instead of holding my hand he agreed to be with someone else. If love is the name of such weak emotion, then I hate this word.
Each step felt so heavy. But I kept dragging my lifeless body towards his room. My thoughts seemed like lava, boiling into my head. Reaching at front of his door, I raised my hand up to open the door but then pulled back. What if he said something in anger, I wont be able to bear it. But I couldn't go back without getting my answers. So gathering my all courage I twisted the door knob and entered inside.
Leaning back against the head rest of the chair, he was looking straight aimlessly. Sensing my presence, he turned his face in my direction. Our eyes met and that rage and fire behind those eyes, snatched my breaths away. But there was one more emotion behind that silent storm, that was Pain. He was hurt. He tore his gaze away, once again looking straight.
"So its final that you are going to get engaged with so..soniya...?" Taking her name with my Manik, caused my heart to pound hard in my chest. My body was already trembling as I waited for his answer. His jaw was tightly clenched and his whole posture was stiff.
"I think this is what you wanted. And I promised that give us one chance. If it didn't work, I myself will let you go. And see, I'm man of my words.....!" listening his answer, I felt dejected and extremely hurt. Those hollow feelings were raging like a thunder storm and I didn't even know that what to do.
"By the way I need your help for the preparation of my engagement. I mean to buy dress for my fiance and engagement ring. Specifically I'm planning to arrange a surprise for her after engagement ceremony. Will you help me, right. I know you have good taste....!" his words were like acid, flowing through my veins. My lower lip trembled, and I wondered why did he do this. Instead of clearing my doubts he decided to get engaged. Were his feelings so weak that he didn't take time to throw me away from his life.
Getting no answer from me he once again diverted his eyes back towards me. Seeing tears into my eyes, his mocking smile felt like dagger, digging deep inside of me. ITS OVER, his silence threw my those words back at my face. So realising very well that I had lost every right to ask him anything I turned over my heels and left his room. Once I forced him to walk away from my life and now I was leaving his room and from his life as well.
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Visions of every painful event and each spiteful word began to flash into my head that I wished to forget everything from that terrible night. The way I ended everything with manik, I myself snatched that last ray of hope from my own life. I palmed my mouth to stop my wailing. I lost everything. Entering into my room I closed the door behind me.
Only then I couldn't support my weight any more. My knees gave up. I slide down while resting my back against the closed door. I let my eyes shed all the tears that I had been holding in. I clutched my hairs in both fists, like trying to ward off the pain that was bubbling through my veins. Once again my life became a complete mess. Once again I left alone and broken. But the difference was that, this time I myself was the responsible.
Minutes flew like years, my anger simmered and regrets seethed. I don't know for how long I celebrated my own destruction. Manik always forgiven everything but this time the way I pushed him away, his self respect didn't let him come back to me. But after knowing so many painful secrets, what I could've done. I had never felt so lost before. I was confused, terrified and hurting the most. This breath stopping pain was twirling into my chest like a demon, haunting my heartbeats.
"I love you manik. I love you so much that it hurts.....!" I whispered quietly and once again unstoppable tears blurred my vision. I buried my face into my knees and chuckled, when I realised that I was confessing my most precious feelings behind these closed doors. What have you turned me into Manik.
I think I had to let him go because I had no right to hold him any more. Specially when I myself kicked him out of my life. And finally I came to terms with the fact that I'm not strong enough to stay and see him getting engaged to someone else. I will die before witnessing that moment. No matter how many times I tried to stay and fight but I couldn't. After all I was nothing but just a weak, homeless and broken girl. With no family, no status, crushed under thousands insecurities.
Standing up I went towards my closet and pulled my bag out. Placing that bag over my bed, I started throwing my belongings into it. Before getting more late I needed to leave. The sun was almost gone and afterglow of sunset was lingering over the horizon. Packing my bag I went into washroom and washed my face. Covering myself with a warm shawl, I threw my wallet and mobile into my hand bag and left the room. I prayed that, no one could see me leaving. I didn't want any one to stop me. Hiring a taxi I wanted to go straight at bus station.
It was already dark outside. As soon I reached near the main gate, one most unexpected person brought my fast steps to abrupt halt. I stopped over my spot but made no attempt to turn around to face that person.
"So you already accepted your defeat. Won't you fight back for him....!" Ishan's Words felt like salt over my wounds. I blinked my eyes, to push unshed tears away and slowly turned around to face him. When whole family was looking, confused and disappointed, his eyes were twinkling with confidence and hope.
"How I can fight for him when he himself didn't want to be with me anymore.....!" I replied, trying to keep my voice stable and tears away from my eyes.
"But don't you think running away like this would make you a coward. And the Nandni whom I know, isn't a coward. She knows how to stand strong against such storms.....!" he whispered gently before crossing his arms against his broad chest.
"I don't think so dadi jan will change her decision and Manik also agreed for this engagement. There are many unanswered question, that keeping us apart. But he didn't want to clear this distance between us. How I can fight when I know, I have already lost him....!" this time I couldn't hold my tears back. These wounds were fresh, deep and raw. Right now touching them was painful.
"You can't lose any battle until you don't leave fighting to win. Doesn't matter if that war is against the decision of my stubborn dadi jan or an arrogant Manik Malhotra....!" he was still stuck at his words and he was asking for something Impossible. I know Dadi jan, she never changes her decisions. Words written on stone might be changed but not hers.
"He hid many things from me. I was waiting for him to come and explain that why he did that. I waited for him to prove my all accuses wrong. But here instead of making this mess clear from our life, he decided to leave me alone with thousands questions and endless pain. For once keep yourself at my place and tell me what will you do.....!" my wobbly voice was challenging but constant a strong smile at his face didn't waver for once.
"At least I wont run away like this. I will fight till my last breath. I will beat the hell out of him to get my answers. I wont spare him until I wont prove that how he was so unfair and how I'm so right to kick him out of my life....!" and this time he threw a challenge back towards me. Taking deep defeated sigh, I threw my bag down. I tried my best to be strong but my hold over my sobs finally got broken. Palming my face I cried inconsolably. Without caring that what he will think about an idiot like me.
I became shocked when two protective arms engulfed me into brotherly hug. It felt like someone pulled me under shadowy tree when I was walking alone in burning desert. How desperately I needed any sincere shoulder to cry on that and Ishan was the least expected person to be there for me.
"Lets go inside. Its really cold here. And whenever you needed someone to share your worries, remember one thing that I'm very good listener. Ok....!" he stated gently and in response I nodded my head. He smiled as he patted my head tenderly. And then holding my wrist he picked my bag up and took me back inside.
"Don't forget who are you and show him that who's the boss here...!" he ordered into firm tone before leaving me at front of my room. No one knew that I left. And no one knew that when Ishan dropped me back inside with new determination.
Arranging everything back into closet, I fell over my bed. My head was spinning and cause of constantly crying like a maniac, my eyes were paining. I opened the drawer and picked one jar out. I gulped two sleeping pills at once, even without reading the leaflet to know how much I should take. May be these pills will give some peace to my jumbled head.
As soon I settled my head over the pillow, exhaustion started engulfing my senses. Even behind closed eyelids, constantly blurry flashes were making my thoughts hazy. But my mind had worn out so badly that it wasn't able to think clearly. This pain was so deep that I felt like I was going to collapse and die. I wanted this night to be end asap. May be new day would give me some strength to fight against all these torments.
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Next day, it was almost 12 in the noon when my eyes opened. In these past few days, so many things happened that the person I wanted to see first in the morning, now I was scared to face him. I couldn't even think about him without feeling shattered and damaged. I didn't have any strength to open my eyes without feeling sharp pain, much less to stand up and fight against him. Thinking for one more hour while still laying over my bed, finally I crawled out of the bed. Aanya many times came and tried to wake me up but I pretended to be sleeping.
I pulled the curtains at side and opened the window to let the fresh air come inside. After taking shower and gulping whole glass of water I decided to face this family. Heading downstairs, I noticed only working staff was inside, while all of them were in the back yard. To go out and sit between all of them was so difficult and don't know why it felt embarrassing also. With slow yet heavy steps I also came out.
My heart trembled with pitiable beats and then speed up at the sight of soniya standing at front of manik who was sitting at the chair. They both were away from everyone. Soniya was showing something at tablet and Manik was so engrossed into that he didn't even notice that I was there. I had every reason to be jealous when I saw MY, MY Manik with her. I had never been the jealous type, but then I realised where this love thing comes, many things change. My whole body was on fire and raging storm was bubbling through my head. I felt betrayed nonetheless but still I was determined to get back, what was mine.
"Nandni come here, I need your help to select my dress for the engagement night....!" Diya auntie said excitedly and I felt my heart was already jumping out of my throat. They all were completely busy for engagement preparation like yesterday nothing happened at all. Like my soon to be fiancé wasn't even snatched away and given to someone else like a toy. But my eyes stopped at one person and that anger and pain behind his eyes resembled mine. As if like me he was also going through the same agony. Akil's fire spiting eyes were stuck at Soniya and Manik also.
Ignoring all other gazes stuck at me, I shifted my daggers like glare at the couple who was sitting all alone at some distance from other family. Even after hearing my name called by Diya auntie, Manik didn't even look back towards me. Infect he slipped little away from two seated bench and made space for soniya. Holding her wrist he made her sit besides himself. Once again both got busy at tablet.
My chest rose and fell with deep and fast breaths. I fisted my both hands at my sides, like stopping myself from going ahead and tearing those love birds apart. When I felt my anger simmered through my eyes in the shape of tears, I turned over my heels and left. I listened Anvi auntie and Aanya calling behind me but still I ran away. Like a real coward. If I would have stayed there one more minute I hadn't controlled my anger nor my tears.
This engagement, his distance from me, carelessness, everything was terrific. I just wanted to go back into my own home where I spent my childhood. Where once me, mama and baba lived like a real family. I wanted to curl under my sheets until there was no tear left. Entering into my room I let my tears to flow freely. Now no one could see me that how their actions were affecting me. No one can judge my hopeless sobs. But as soon I heard someone twisting the door knob. I wiped my tears away hurriedly.
"Are you alright....?" Aanya questioned me with a worried look. I forced a smile but it was really difficult task.
"I'm fine. I just came to take my mobile. I forgot it here....!" I assured her while going towards my side table and plugged off its charging cable. She took me completely off guard when coming ahead she embraced me into a warming hug.
"Nandni, I know how you might b feeling but remember one thing that I'm always here for you. You are more like a sister to me....!" I suddenly felt like that single word 'Sisters' lessen my pain little bit. At least there was someone who was aware of my pain. So taking a deep sigh I also wrapped my arms around her.
"Come lets go downstairs. You didn't eat anything...!" wrapping her arm around mine, forcefully she took me straight into kitchen. After eating a slice of bread with omelette. After sitting quietly for some time, I decided to face whatever he was planning to throw in my way. I deserved it. All the pain and coldness into his eyes, I deserved all of this.
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I didn't dare to look in the direction where half hour ago manik and soiya were sitting. As soon I looked up to sit at the empty chair, I found now soniya was sitting besides Arshi auntie. My eyes unconsciously moved up and I regretted my action. Because placing one ankle at other knee Manik was looking straight at me. I immediately lowered my lashes, as I didn't want him to see my red swollen eyes. All the time I felt his curious gaze boring through me. Aanya and Rohan were continuously trying to distract me and I smiled seeing their sincere efforts. How they both were worried for me but their brother couldn't see the pain I was going through. He was busy into buying bloody engagement dresses.
"So Manik, did you select any dress....?" Anvi auntie asked as she came out while holding trey with cups of tea. I refused when Diya auntie handed me one cup also. But Aanya strictly ordered me to have a cup of tea. According to her I strongly needed that. Somehow she was right. Because every sip made my headache little better.
"Yup auntie I selected, one in peach colour while other is black. Soniya and me both are confused to pick one out of both....!" he answered while all the time looking towards soniya. That smile at their faces prickling my eyes. I picked my cup and hurriedly took a sip of tea. But hissed audibly when it burnt my lips. Suddenly leaving their discussion all shifted their gazes back at me.
"Nandni, be careful. It was quite hot yet....!" Aanya scolded me and I realised that I can't waste any chance for humiliating myself at front of this family. I mumbled a sorry and placed my cup back at the table.
"Auntie why not to ask Nandni. I trust her choice. I'm sure she will give a better advice...!" he purposely turned all the gazes back towards me. I clenched my fists into my lap like holding myself back from punching his face. He knew how everything was affecting me, but still he was dragging me into this mess. He was hurting me purposely.
"I think you said absolutely right. Our Nandni have better taste....!" Diya auntie said excitedly and without waiting one more second, she placed the tablet into my lap. My heart soared and all the pain blinked from my eyes in the shape of tears. But I pushed them behind and controlling all the tremble in my hands I picked tablet up. At first sight, my eyes got stuck at the black dress. It was different. Simple yet elegant. In short words magically beautiful.
"Peach. Peach is beautiful....!" whispering lowly through my gritted teeth I placed tablet back at table. For a moment I wanted to select black because it was more beautiful but I became a hypocrite. A bloody hypocrite. I wanted to smash this tablet into wall, because I was angry at Manik. Cause of him I became a cheater. A cheater who cheats at the emotions.
As I raised my eyes up, that smirk at his face was so cold to freeze the whole volcano bubbling into me. Once again I wished to run away and hiding into my dark room I wanted to cry my heart out. It was so difficult. Why I agreed to stay here. I should've gone already otherwise I will die with this heart wrenching pain.
"Everyone come inside. A rocking party waiting for all of you....!" Rohan said excitedly and everyone cheered in excitement. Everyone stood up and left, except me and soniya. While walking towards entrance, Manik turned around and smiled towards soniya. Their such closeness with the rise of anger brought another emotion, and that was my wish to kill them. A shear fury rippling through every inch of my body.
"Soniya, I think couple of the party should be present there....!" Manik asked so lovingly that I felt my stomach twisting tightly. I couldn't understand that how he always said that whatever the situation comes, he would never leave me alone. But now when in my most weakest point when I was completely broken and shattered, I asked just once to leave and he left me so easily. Not for once he looked back at me that how I needed him to make me stand over my feet. How badly I needed him. But now it was too much. If he forgot about his promises then I will remind him.
"Manik....!" as both were walking towards the entrance I stopped him. He whispered something into soniya's ear and in response she smiled lovingly. I felt the sizzle of fire, from their proximity. Leaving him there she went inside. I walked towards him, where he stood confidently.
"Why are you doing this....?" my glare was cold but voice came out so vulnerable.
"Now what I have done.... !" he asked innocently and it made me more frustrated.
"Don't you dare to act smart. You know very well that what I'm talking about....!" taking a threatening step forward I showed him that his smartness was making my head more hot. Most devilish smirk appeared at his amusing features. He inserted both hands into his jeans pockets like he was enjoying while seeing me sulking like this.
"I'm doing whatever you wanted. You wanted us to get over. You wanted to end everything between us. And I'm exactly doing that....!" he answered dryly, shrugging his shoulders carelessly. I wish I could beat him to plump. I wish, I wish I could.
"Mr Manik Malhotra, what you think. After destroying my life you will be happily married to someone else. Wait and watch. I will set this whole world at fire but won't let you walk away with your Miss Soniya so easily....!" raising my index finger I threatened him but throwing his head backwards, the way he laughed I felt already like a stupid.
"After listening your threat now I want to tell you something, I swear, I swear no one can stop the engagement. Do whatever you can...!" he stated without flinching as he stood with stiffened posture. For a minute I just stood there, unable to comprehend his words. That determination behind his promise hit me right in the chest and I felt a sharp pain clenching my insides. Deep sorrow shredding my heart.
"You can't do this and I will make sure that you regret your decision....!" clenching my jaw tightly, I spelled every word through my gritted teeth. He remained silent, but his gaze was passing through me like laser beam. Then slowly, he made his way over and stopped right in front of me. My heartbeat got faster as he stood tall, hovering over me. I could feel his body heat in the coldness of night. Goosebumps appeared at my whole body as I saw hunger and intensity in his captivating dark eyes.
"I will wait to see that how you gonna make me regret my decision....!" that challenge behind his eyes knocked the breath out of my body. For few magically alluring moments, we both kept watching into each other's eyes like that darkness behind his chocolaty orbs was hypnotising me. And then he was gone before my brain could clearly grasp what he was expecting from me.
I don't know for how long my eyes remained stuck at the doors of main entrance where he got vanished. Walking back towards the chairs I fell over it. My hand fisted my shirt tightly over my chest, a failed attempt to stop my heart jumping out of my throat. And gasping loudly I tried to ease the tightness in my lungs.
He can't do this. He can't....!
I went inside, this time more determined than before that I will not let him walk away so easily. Listening loud music, claps, giggles and joyful laughs were so unbearable that I went straight upstairs. I deeply regretted when reaching at last step I looked back over my shoulder. Rohan was pulling Manik up for the dance and happily he went towards soniya. He stretched his hand towards her and she happily took it.
He brought her in the middle of the clear space of living room and both started moving with the music. Both were laughing and talking like they don't even care about anyone around them. My vision got blurry as tears walled up into my fire spiting eyes.
Twirling around suddenly soniyas eyes stopped at me. Immediately she stopped laughing and then leaning forward she whispered something into Manik's ear. I didn't need to listen their words because the way manik snapped his head back towards me, I'm sure they were talking about me. Aching in my chest overpowered the embarrassment I felt in that moment. Why I was looking at him with such gaze full of longing.
That night once again I didn't go downstairs for dinner. Everyone went for their shopping. Tonight they were going to buy dress and rings for soniya and Manik as well. First Aanya, Rohan, Diya auntie and then Anvi auntie tried hard to convince me for going with them. But I refused every time with same excuse that I'm feeling tired. When they forced that I have to buy my dress as well, I gave my card to Aanya and asked her to buy whatever she liked. Buying dress for his engagement was the last thing into my list of bringing the destruction.
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I was sitting at the balcony when I listened car entering from the main gate. But I didn't move from my place to see that who came back early. But soon giggles of soniya answered my question. As I turned my head towards Manik's room, I found both of them placing shopping bags over the bed. Door of his room was opened and I could listen their voices clearly. Sitting over his bed she pulled out peach dress. The exactly one I chose for the engagement. Standing beside his bed both were looking at dress. Suddenly soniya said something lowly and then both started laughing. She opened the other bag and pulled out a shoe box. Those were Manik's shoes. He was really happy. How he might be this much happy. How making my life a living hell, they both might be happy.
I was so lost into my thoughts that didn't realise how desperately I was staring at both of them until Manik's eyes suddenly noticed me out there. He stopped talking. First I noticed a glimpse of shock at his face but he covered it immediately. Without removing his eyes from me, he said something to soniya and nodding her head slowly she stood up from his bed and left.
After few minutes I saw her car leaving from the main gate. I was staring at him hopelessly when one of the kitchen staff came into his room. Placing a glass of water she was going to leave when he asked her something. And abruptly that lady twisted her head in my direction. Then she came out at balcony.
"Miss Murthy its really cold and already started raining. And by the way, Mr Manik calling you inside....!" she informed me and in response I just nodded my head. Whatever was happening, it was Manik's and my personal matter. I didn't want anyone else to talk about our issues. That lady went straight out of his room and placing one hand at his waist with other he picked the glass up. Fixing his heated gaze at me he drank the water. I walked towards his room and my heart started fluttering like wings of caged bird. As soon I entered in his room he placed the glass back and fixed his full attention towards me.
"I asked you to help me for all the shopping for my engagement. But you didn't even come with me. Its OK. After exchanging our rings, I would take my fiance to spend some alone quality time with her. So to plane a surprise of a private celebration, I need your help. After all you have some experience about what I like when I'm alone with a girl.....!" he winked at me and I felt temperature of my whole body rising up. I'm sure tip of my nose and ears burning red. Eyes digging holes into him.
"You are so desperate to get engaged and then to take her at private celebration alone with you...!" crossing my arms against my chest I threw the mocking remarks at him. I could feel my chest burning but still I tried to be calm and composed.
"Don't you dare to say more. And yes I really can't wait for the moment, when I will put my ring over my girl's finger....!" he announced confidently and his icy glare weakened me. My girl...! Wao. His words cut through me like a dagger. I never knew few simple words can hurt this bad.
"Yeah, that's why your arms were around another woman but you were looking at me like she didn't even exist there....!" as with an evil chuckle I taunted, a cold terror gripped my heart. And this time it really hit his nerves because deep frowns appeared at his face.
"I have no time for your useless argument. So I called you here to give you your dress for the engagement.....!" he breathed out curtly, while ignoring my sharp glare he went towards his bed. He came back while holding two huge bags to give me. I felt my temperature rising up. Yeah that dress was more important than me. He couldn't see how he was hurting me. He was only concerned about engagement preparations, jewellery and dresses.
"Thanks, but I don't need this....!" I refused to take both bags, having a beautiful white dress in one, shoes and jewellery boxes into other. My jaw was clenched and my nails were digging into my palms. Curling my hands into tight fists I was resisting the urge to break his nose.
"Nandni I'm already having headache so don't eat my brain. Please take your things and leave my room....!" he said fiercely like my presence was annoying him. He once again extended his arm to give me both bags.
"I said I don't want anything from you....!" spiting those words I turned over my heels to leave but gasped loudly when I was yanked back harshly. His fingers were tightly wrapped around my forearm. His eyes were red with anger and for a moment I was really scared of him.
"Don't feel yourself a VIP thing, its dadi jan who bought all these things not me. So I don't care if you keep it or throw away. I don't care so please show your tantrums to her....!" he whispered before pulling me once more against his stone-like hard body.
At his such cruel behaviour, I just lost my patience. I got angry, was just an understatement. Taking both bags I threw away. A pair of heels, jewellery, bangles, dress everything fell into different directions. For few seconds manik kept staring shockingly at all scattered things over his carpeted floor and then shifted his glare back at me. The blow of what exactly happened gave way to wrath as his chocolaty brown eyes just turned even more darker.
"Stop messing my room and my head....!" he shouted angrily and ignoring how his words were hurting me I pulled my arm from his tight hold. I went towards the bed where his and soniya's dresses were placed. Now he will see that what we call the real mess. I picked the dress and before he could realise what I was going to do, I held from both shoulders and ripped that delicate expensive designer dress into two pieces. Manik gasped like someone kicked into his stomach. He rushed towards me but before he could stop me I threw that torn dress away into the balcony.
"Are you crazy. What you have done...!" he shouted angrily while trying to stop me as now I picked his expensive suite and threw in the balcony where in the blink of eye rain made it a real mess. Yeah mess.
"Do you know it is we call mess....!" freeing myself from his hold I rushed towards his dressing table and threw his all perfumes around.
"Nandni stop it....!" Beside his shouting I only listened the noise of breaking glass and Immediately air in the room was filled with strong cologne of his broken perfumes. He asked to stop messing his head but what about me, whose head was becoming blank, despairing and messy altogether.
"You want to see mess then see it....!" I cried angrily before throwing his wrist watch and hair brush and box of new shoes. I think this time one shoe hit the vase and it fell down with loud thud and glass pieces flew in all directions.
"NANDNI what are you doing. I said stop it....!" encircling his thick arms around my stomach Manik tried to hold me back but still whatever came into my hand I just threw wherever I could. Then suddenly his arms, locked around my stomach picked me up off of my feet like a piece of paper. I screamed in terrifying fright as he threw me over his mattress. Before I could compose myself, Manik climbed over me.
"Leave me....!" I shouted so loud that I'm sure my screams vibrated the walls of this room. I was thrashing, fighting and hitting him to get free but holding my both wrists he pinned them above my head. I continued to fight as hard as I could, even though I knew I couldn't get free.
"Stop moving otherwise you will regret coming into my room.....!" he warned me but tonight my brain wasn't into my control. I was screaming and pulling my arms to get away from him. I didn't want him this close. Because now a days his closeness was hurting me.
"Leave my hands....!" I cried out louder while my whole body was protesting against his strong grip. I was tired but still I refused to go down without a fight. He threw his heavy leg over my legs and now my whole body was pinned down under his heavy weight.
"I said don't move....!" he once again stated angrily and now I stopped struggling. Because my body under his huge figure couldn't even move a centimetre. Suddenly curtains fluttered and as cold breeze touched my body, I shivered. I realised during all this fight, my shirt had moved up and now bare skin of my belly was at display.
"Leave my hands....!" I sobbed uncontrollably when I felt so exposed and vulnerable under his shocked gaze. My whole body was shaking with indignation and severe heartache. I was considering myself nothing different from all the scattered broken things around in this room. Complete garbage and useless.
"Nandni, calm down....!" he stated calmly but my whole body shook when I sobbed even louder. I felt so frustrated and powerless and these feelings made me more frantic. I was trying as hard as I could to get him off of me but it was no use. He was too strong for me and this realisation hit me. Tears of helplessness ran down my cheeks because he showed me that my strength was no match to his.
"Let me go...!" I once again shouted, sobbing tiredly but still refused to open my eyes. I couldn't see him in the eye as it seemed like tonight my tears won't stop. For a moment he remained quite, listening my sobs. And then holding my both wrists into his one, his other hand moved down. Between my hiccups I couldn't control my loud gasp as his cold fingers touched my naked belly. His fingers caressed my skin so tenderly that I couldn't bear that sensational shiver ran through my whole body.
"Shhh, calm down....!" he whispered so gently that I felt a glimpse of my old Manik back into his touch and voice. I bit my lower lip to suppress my sobs because now I had understood that he won't let me go until I wont stop protesting and crying. Finally I gave up. My heart hammered more strongly against my chest, when his hand remained over my bare skin. His thumb lazily drawing all breath stopping circles over my skin. That touch was so overwhelming yet so gut-wrenching.
After a while he pulled his hand back and settled my shirt down. As soon he covered my nakedness, I felt relieved. His minty breath was fanning against my face and I could feel the heat of his constant gaze over my tears stained face. Then he freed my wrists but his leg was still over me. Slowly I opened my eyes and through blurry vision I saw his emotionless dark eyes were fixed at me, like he was searching for something.
For a moment we both kept looking at each other, not sure of what the other was thinking. Then lowering his eyes, slowly he pulled his leg away from me and immediately I rolled off his bed. One sandal was still on while without looking for my other one, I ran towards the door.
"Nandni stop. You will get hurt....!" as soon Manik shouted behind me, I screamed in pain because already a small piece of glass pierced my bare foot. I raised my foot up and before he could reach me, I pulled the glass out. Throwing it away, I ran out of his room. Entering into my room I locked the door from inside.
All the hold over my tears once again broken down. The ground seemed to collapse from under my feet and falling over my knees once again I burst into sobs. I don't know for how long, sitting at the floor I cried. But as soon I heard horns of cars outside, abruptly I stood up. All of them were back. So after cleaning the blood from the floor I ran into washroom. I washed my face and blood from my injured foot. Taking out a plaster from the cabinet I placed at small yet deep cut. I hope it will help little bit to stop the blood.
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Next day, I didn't see Manik. Neither at breakfast nor at lunch. It was already evening and tomorrow night was the engagement. Time was indeed running out. Tonight I have to do something otherwise it would be so much late. But to my dismay he went at air port to pick uncle Rayaan. Since last two hours I was pacing restlessly when loud horns of a car stolen my attention. I ran towards balcony and finally he was back. For next one more hour, I thought and just thought about what I was going to say to him.
When I was passing by TV lounge, I heard low whispers from inside. May be he was inside. Carefully I entered, making sure that I wasn't spoiling someone's private conversation. But seeing Uncle Aaryan, uncle Rayaan and uncle Aayaan I became little shocked. Joining their heads closer to each other, with deep frowns they were discussing something really important.
After long time, all brothers were together. Without disturbing their privacy, quietly I turned around to leave. But one strong voice brought my sneaky steps to a jolting halt when uncle Aaryan called my name. Closing my eyes tightly I took deep breath before twirling around to face them.
"Nandni, come inside....!" standing up from his seat he came towards me. Behind those hard features, warming and welcoming emotions were clear.
"Hello uncle. I...I thought you all were busy that's why I didn't disturb you....!" I replied truthfully because it wasn't good while leaving without greeting elders. Specially when I was seeing them after months.
"Don't worry young lady, we weren't discussing something important. You tell us, how are you and how were the exams....!" Rayaan uncle asked while having polite smile. Amongst these three brothers, he was the one, having little less intimidating personality. He always seems easy to approach same like his son, Sameer Malhotra.
"I'm fine and about exams I tried my best....!" I replied while shuffling over my feet. I took deep long breath to be calm as my stomach stirred in nervousness.
"What a sweet and intelligent girl you are. Manik is lucky to have you....!" as uncle Aayan finished other two brothers coughed like something got stuck in their throats and that too at the same time. Strange. I was looking with shocked and more like with disturbed stare as now both brothers were glaring at the third one.
"Umm can I leave now....!" I took the permission and as they allowed me, I almost ran out of the TV lounge. So all uncles were back to attend the engagement. Time was running out of my hands and I didn't even know where Manik was. After checking whole house I realised at least he wasn't home.B Then suddenly only one person came into mind who could help me, Ishan. I turned around and went towards his room. After Knocking the door when I entered inside I found all cousins were sitting here and there. Sahil bhaie, Rohan, Ishan, and Akil. Their little surprised expressions were showing that they weren't expecting me at all.
"Nandni, is everything OK....?" Sahil bhaie asked. His tone laced with concern. I think my tired and worried looks were so obvious that without asking they knew there was something wrong with me.
"Do you know where is Manik....!" looking at all of them, I asked not to any particular one. They all looked at each other, like they were silently asking that what they should answer me. Why this whole family behaving so strange. Wherever I'm going groups are sitting while joining their heads. What was happening or may be I have gone crazy.
"He went with Soniya to buy new dress. After that he was going to take her at dinner date. Its quiet late, I'm sure they will be back soon.....!" Rohan answered me immediately. He was hundred percent prepared for getting engaged. As once again reality hit my head, sharp soreness broke through me. But the way Sahil bhaie glared at him, I'm sure they didn't want to tell me. But that, mischievous going and satisfaction at Rohan's face was boiling my head. So without saying anything further, I came out of the room. Why they all enjoying while seeing me roaming around like a stupid lost puppy.
"Engagement dress, dinner date....!" just these two things were continuously hitting my nerves. When I entered into living room, one lady from kitchen staff told me that all were waiting for me in the dining room. When I went there, dinner had already served. Everyone was already present around the dining table except all the boys.
"Come nandni sit here....!" after placing salid bowl, Arshi auntie pulled one chair out for me. I didn't feel hungry at all but leaving all of them felt little bad. So quietly I walked ahead and sat beside Aanya. Soon all the boys also joined and dinner passed with different type of discussions. But my mind was only stuck at missing couple. Thinking about both of them together, alone, I hit the fork over the potato in my plate. I smashed it and wished it to be Manik's head. After dinner everyone was waiting for the tea in the living room. Aanya didn't let me go back into my room. Dadi jan asked one lady from kitchen staff that Manik and soniya were back or not.
"They came back half hour ago. And now they are sitting in the back yard.....!" she replied before giving the cup of tea into my hands.
"I'm sure they already had dinner so ask them if they also need some tea....!" Arshi auntie instructed to the lady.
"Madam they asked to bring their tea in the back yard I have given them already. They want to spend some time outside.....!" she replied before going back into kitchen. I felt my heart being sliced into million pieces. My hold around the cup became so tight that I feared I was going to break it. They still need more private time. Placing my cup back at table with loud thud, I stood up. Every single head in the living room snapped in my direction. But ignoring all confused, questioning gazes I went towards the exit door.
Its enough. I wanted to talk to Manik. I was going to wait until soniya was gone but I couldn't wait much longer.
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I went straight towards back yard. As I stepped outside, I saw them sitting together at bench. I felt a sudden pang in my chest. Curling my fingers into tight fists I took deep breaths, blinking back the tears prickling my eyes.
Fuming with anger and jealousy, I took a step forward and then another. My ragging eyes were firmly fixed at those love birds. When I reached closer, soniya's head shot up to look at me in panic. Ignoring her curious gaze I kept my attention towards Manik only.
"Manik can I talk to you for a moment....!" I stated bluntly when I didn't even have anything to talk about. Still I tried to act normal and straightforward. But the way Manik looked at me, there was no doubt that he could see smoke coming out of my ears. For a moment he kept looking straight into my dull eyes.
"Later, I'm busy at the moment...!" he answered carelessly, while turning his attention fully back towards soniya. I felt my heart dropped to my stomach. Completely feeling repulsed, I bit my lips as I tried to swallow the huge bile in my throat. My eyes felt scratchy but still I was refusing to let any tear flow. Slowly yet dangerously I covered the distance between me and them.
"Getup....!" I ordered while stopping at front of them and soniya's eyes widened in alarm. I was mad, frustrated, angry and most of all, I was hurt. When she didn't care to move, I lost my patience entirely. So holding her arm I pulled her over her feet and pushed away from Manik. I felt colour drained from soniya's skin as her whole posture turned rigid in shock. While at other hand manik leaning against head rest of bench, placing one ankle over other knee and crossing thick arms against his chest, was seriously observing my actions.
"Stay away from this arrogant, headless idiot....!" looking straight into her eyes yet pointing my finger towards manik I warned her. I could sense that spark of fear into her eyes but after a moment that mocking smile at her face made my temperature even higher.
"Why should I stay away from him. Within two days we are getting engaged. So now you tell me that who are you to give me such orders of staying away....!" and this question felt like a back hand slap against my face. She was right who I was to claim such right at him.
"Soniya go and sit in my car I would drop you at your home...!" jumping over his feet Manik told her politely. His these sweet words were digging holes into my head. How in one blink of eye, everything in my life became a living hell. Nodding her head she hugged him and saying good bye she left. Looking at grassy ground, I was holding back my tears. My chest was rising up and down with deep aggrieved harsh breaths.
"OK now tell me, what did you want to talk....!" his voice devoid of any emotions or politeness. His face was stoic and that lack of emotions into his stare outraged me even more. I remained silent, because huge lump in my throat was hard to swallow down and speak. After a minute of thick and tense silence, he moved closer and placed his hand over my shoulder. I was hurt but more than that I felt humiliated.
"Sorry to interrupt your so precious time with your soon to be fiancé....!" I grounded out, holding back the tears threatening to burst out. And then I left from there. I didn't want to give him satisfaction of seeing me crying for him. I went straight inside. Tears were making my eyes blurry. My legs were shaking, hardly climbing the stairs I reached at first floor. Way towards my room felt like have been stretched to miles. Feeling dizzy, I abruptly held onto the wall for support. Then slowly walking, finally I reached my room.
Entering inside I went towards my bed. Sitting over the edge for some time I cried frantically. I cried for my childhood, I spent without warmth of mother and endless secure love of father. I cried for Abhi who went through a heart broken pain before dying because he came to know that his best friend was in love with his own bride. I cried for Sameer who left me because regrets snatched every hope from his colourful life. I cried because I got scared that what if Sameer came back and Manik once again pushed me away. I cried because I realised that he already have pushed me far away. I felt myself so useless and so unwanted. Then at the end I cried that while fighting against all these odds I lost the only person had left in my life. I lost my last chance to be happy. And now I have nothing except crying for my lose of whole damn pitiable life.
When my eyes got tired and no more tears left behind I stood up. Passing from the balcony I went towards the secret way towards the seashore. In that one moment I wanted to just die. I couldn't see him engaged to someone else. I will die with this suffocating anguish.
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Hiding away from everyone and specially from him I thought I will feel better but I was wrong. Now I realised this endless soreness have no limits. There was no sound except my sobs and churning waves of the sea. I kept staring unappreciatively at the immeasurable depths of this salty water, that was looking dark but still glorious under bright lights around the beach and full moon over it. Every time that wild cold breeze blew on my face I quivered but I didn't want to go inside. I couldn't wrap my mind around what was happening.
My breaths halted when suddenly I saw dark shadow coming towards me and I felt my heart was at the verge of popping out. My breathing quickened as I realised who it was. Through this dim light, I could clearly see his intense and dark eyes piercing into mine.
As Manik covered the distance between us, slowly I stood up from the huge stone. Feeling ashamed of my tears, I wiped them away. Instead of keeping some distance he stopped this closer that it felt so impropriate yet so right.
"I was looking for you every where....!" his voice was wary yet still firm. Suddenly his hand reached out and landed on the side of my face. I flinched unconsciously when his cold fingers touched my skin but I didn't dare to move away. I was just looking at him, frozen and still.
"Your skin is burning....!" he stated into shock, as his knuckles caressed my cheek. His touch was so gentle, as if I was so fragile and he would break me if he touched little hard.
"Nandni, you are having fever and its already very cold here. Please let's go inside.?..!" he requested in that soft tone what I always obeyed but tonight I didn't want to. Then slowly my gaze flickered up to him and I saw a glimpse of surprise and pain behind his stare. I'm sure my red swollen eyes made him shocked and I felt ashamed of proving myself this much weak.
"Come lets go....!" I was so lost into my doubts of him being here that I didn't realise when he took one more step closer. When suddenly I felt something grazed my hand, I let out an involuntary gasp. It was his fingers. He held my hand and unconsciously my whole body tensed. Against my burning palms his cold hand felt so strong yet so soothing. But in one harsh pull I snatched my hand back from his grip. I couldn't digest that he was here and that too for me.
"I didn't want to go anywhere, just leave me alone....!" I said quietly and stubbornly. But ignoring my glare he once again held my hand, this time more tightly.
"You are coming with me, do you understand...?" His tone was soft like velvet but gaze still edging with steel. As soon he took just one step forward I grasped my head. I felt dizzy. My legs shook and threatened to buckle up. Before I could hit the ground, Manik caught me and pulled closer into secure embrace. I couldn't move because I felt like my heart was in my mouth. My stomach twisted painfully and my breathing was so fast and erratic. I didn't need words to tell that what condition I was going through. I couldn't hold back a loud gasp, when he picked me up in bridle style.
"Put me down I...I..can walk....!" I protested but he ignored me completely like he didn't even listen me. My body was so torn and head entirely drained to fight anymore. My feelings were shattered and broken. So closing my eyes, I settled my head against his chest. Immediately his scent reminded me that how I missed him being this close. My fists grasped his collar so tightly like I was scared to let him go. But I knew, like every one else he was also going to abandon me. I wasn't needed in anyone's life. As the reality of what my insecurities cost me, sank in, I felt darkness looming over me.
I bit my lip so hard for not letting out any sob but still I couldn't control my tears streaming from my closed eyes. I gulped a huge lump in my throat when I felt heat of his gaze over my face. Though I didn't cry loudly but my tears soaking through his shirt, revealed every story of my pain. He didn't say any thing but a sharp rise and fall of his chest told me that he took a deep sigh.
Climbing from the stairs he walked into my room through the balcony. My room was still dark, it means Aanya wasn't there. He went straight towards my bed and placed me gently over the mattress. As soon he pulled his arms away from me, I removed my shoes. Silently turning my back towards him I just curled into tiny ball and closed my eyes.
Opening my blanket he wrapped it around my shivering figure. I listened him calling to a family doctor to come home ASAP. And then my all the control broken down and I burst into tears. Burying my face under the blanket I cried hopelessly. How I was going to live without him. How he couldn't see this endless love behind my insecure soul.
How he could move on so easily. I heard him taking a deep sigh before he left the room while closing my door so harshly. He was tired of me and my tears. It took just a couple of minutes and Annya came rushing inside. Sitting over my bed she pulled the blanket down from my face. Placing her hand over my forehead she checked my fever.
"I shouldn't have left you alone....!" she was blaming herself while running here and there in the room. When she came back, there was a bowl of cold water. Soaking a hand towel into it she placed over my forehead. The more my fever was getting higher, I was feeling like my head getting numb and darkness engulfing my senses.
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Manik's POV
As soon lady doctor left and now I was sure that her fever was little down I went straight towards Dadi jan's room. Reaching at her door I knocked so loudly that I'm sure everyone in this house heard it.
"Come in....!" dadi jan's very calm voice allowed me in and I barged into her room like with every second my life was slipping out of my hands.
"I can't do this any more....!" I stated through gritted teeth. My hands clenched into tight fists. How I was holding myself from destroying this whole world. Removing her glasses, she closed the book and placed both things at side table. That cruel smile at her face, piercing me to the core. I was feeling like this rage tearing at my lungs.
"But you haven't any other option, except following my orders. You agreed to fulfil my conditions and I wont allow you to step back on them. So be a man. Go back in your room and have some rest....!" resting her head against head rest she suggested very calmly. For the first time her careless, polite behaviour was arousing the beast inside of me.
"She neither eating nor sleeping properly. All the time I see her eyes red cause of constantly crying. I can't see her in this much pain. Please I can't do this drama of engagement any more....!" now I was almost pleading helplessly but the way dadi jan laughed I felt even more angrier. She wasn't taking anything seriously.
"You both should've thought about it before messing such pure relation between both of you. Didn't I warn both of you that if I saw that you both aren't taking each other seriously, I will take whole matter into my own hands. Now its not my fault. You have to stay calm and wait for the best. You will get engaged at the exact date and its my promise.....!" she stated while shrugging her shoulders like we both were talking about the weather outside.
Closing my eyes tightly, I took deep breath to control my anger and then without saying more I left her room. The condition dadi jan placed, seemed impossible and if it couldn't be fulfilled, I would be screwed really bad. Entering into my room I kicked the stool taking my all frustration out at this piece of wood.
ITS OVER....
ITS END OF US....
"NANDNI I wish you wouldn't have said those words. I wish dadi jan wouldn't have listened our arguments then may be we hadn't faced such pain...!" standing under the cold shower I was cursing that night.
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