ELIZA
I stand outside the bathroom waiting for Riya, I had tried to stop my tears from forming, my eyes were slightly bloodshot, and it was evident my face looked upset, I was a few moments away from a breakdown. Everything was returning, the guilt and insecurities I had tried to bury with a new school year, had all started to make themselves present in my mind.
All because Jasper thinks I am ugly.
Ugly
Ugly
Ugly.
It shouldn't affect me, especially because it comes from a guy who genuinely hates my brother, so any malice and hatred directed towards me is not really just because I am me - it's also because I am Ezra's sister, and nothing hurts you more than hurting your family. I should have expected nothing less from the guy who punched my face - although accidentally - and didn't once sound like he was apologetic.
But those words came from the guy who kissed me. And that's feels like it's different.
Maybe there was some truth in his words, I used to be the average girl who has zero experience of love outside of fiction, now I am an average girl with zero experience of love with a dead father - as if I wasn't pitiable enough. If was even a tiny bit datable back then, I am completely undatable now, who wants to date someone that comes with emotional baggage that weighs more than themselves?
"Eliza?" My head snaps up to the direction of the sound, and I see Zayn a few steps away from me.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah! I'm fine." I reply, putting a small smile on my face, "I'm just waiting here for Riya."
-
"So we decided to just stay behind the bushes to see if we could find the person who sent it to me before we went to speak, but it ended up being my brother and Jasper." I explain to Zayn, as we eat our lunch.
"That's so weird," Zayn takes the final bite of his sandwich, "Have you considered the possibility that your brother might actually know more than he let on?"
I pause for a second, considering his words, "No. There's no way, he'd tell me, plus he's really bad at hiding things from me, I would find out very quickly if he knew something."
Zayn had decided to stay with us for lunch, and it seems like this could be a permanent fix, we all got along really well and because he's new, he hasn't made may friends yet. It was nice having him around as a friend, he was a breath of fresh air after all the negative I've had in the past few months.
The bell had rang, and it was time for everyone to scatter to their respective classes. Both Riya and Zayn had left after exchanging goodbyes, and I was alone in the common room with a few students here and there. I try to bring my attention to the sheet of maths homework in front of me, but my mind once again had started to grow cloudy with thoughts.
Maybe having company around was something I needed rather than wanted, it stopped my intrusive thoughts and I was happy - most of the time. I know I am not actually ugly, no matter how much I think so, I naturally would be critical of every minuscule detail on my face and body. But hearing those words from a a third party - a guy no less - affirms those small voices of doubt in my mind. I clench the pen in my hand, this was not the kind of progress I was expecting to see after returning school. I hoped that it would provide me a distraction, a sense of normality in my life, even if it was only for a couple of hours. Maybe I was digging myself into a grave of false hope, and now a few weeks in, those walls have started to break down on me.
My eyes start to water, slowly, yet surely.
I am weak.
And I am aware of this, but that doesn't stop me from putting on a facade, one where I seem head strong, confident and happy. All it takes is one gentle knock and this tower I have built on a false personality, it will all come crashing down.
"Clench your fist any harder and that pen will actually shatter." I lift my head up, coming face to face with the one person I loathe.
I release a sigh.
"Don't mind me, I just wanted to see what my number one fan was up too. Especially after she physically assaulted me and left me in the classroom with a handprint on my cheek." He laughs, and places his chin on his hands, tilting his head the left slightly.
I continue to ignore him, the grip on my pen not loosening as I try to solve the question on the sheet.
"Awww, you can't be ignoring me now, not after our kiss." He whispers the latter half of that sentence, giggling like a 13 year old. My lines become more jagged, and I find myself having more trouble retaining my anger. He's taunting me on purpose, and like the idiot I am, I feed into it with anger - exactly what he wants.
"Alright, have it your way then, don't speak to me, but remember nobody gets away with laying a hand on me." My eyes drag themselves up, locking with his green orbs. I'm certain he can see the red veins popping out amongst the white. There was something unsettling about his voice, it carried a serious undertone, I would be a fool to take his words lightly.
Slowly my anger dissipates, and instead fear slowly starts to fill the void.
"What, what do you want now Jasper?" There seems to be a lack of fight in my voice, in contrast to my usual snarkiness. I hope he hasn't picked up on it, perhaps his brain is too smooth to notice that.
"Why do threats always work on you? Anyway, if you don't want word to leak out about our, rendezvous, then I suggest you meet me by the gates at Springfield park on Tuesday," he pauses, "Come straight after school finishes."
He winks before leaving me.
-
My mind was running, more so than usual, trying to decide of going to see him was worth it. If I did go, I can't tell anyone and then it would be just us two, after my encounter with him in the corridor, I can't guarantee that I feel safe around him. I may have been able to slap him, but I know for a fact if he was to fight back, I would stand no chance.
But if rumours spread, they would find their way to Ezra, and what kind of reaction that would incite from him I can't tell for sure, but the least I know is that it wouldn't be a positive one. We hadn't yet made up from our last conversation, my last words still loom in the air when we are near each other.
I hadn't seen him all day either, so telling him that I wasn't going to show was not really an option either. I guess that explains why he asked to meet by the park rather than going wherever he wanted to take me, from school.
The bell rings.
I glanced down at my necklace, a simple golden chain, with a green gem in the centre.
Simple. This necklace spoke volumes about my dad, maybe not to others, but to me, it seemed like the perfect present from him. I was his simple girl, who followed him around everywhere like a lost duck and admired everything he did. I clench my hand around the green stone I the centre.
Within a split second I decide to go. I text the family group chat to let them know I wasn't catching a ride with them. Just as I finish my message, Ezra also announces that he wasn't going to come home either, he had practice today and was going to come home with a friend.
I reach the park in under fifteen minutes, and the first thing that catches my eye is Zaynleaning against a flashy car.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" I ask as I approach him.
"Waiting for you actually." He replies, now standing up straight.
"Me?" I tilt my head confused.
"Yeah, Jasper asked me to pick you up and escort youth a match." He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Wait. You know him? Like on a personal level?" My eyebrows furrow.
"He's my step brother," he turns his head to the side, avoiding eye contact, "And I owe him one, so I had to do him this favour."
A few moments of silence pass between us, all I could do was stare at him and not let my mouth hang open.
"W-Wait, so you're actually really related to him?!" I ask perplexed.
How could someone as nice as Zayn be related to Jasper?
"By family relations yes, but by blood no," he holds back a small smile, "you need to get in the car, or we're gonna be late."
I nod my head and step in.
"Wait, where are we actually going?" I ask, placing my belt.
"I can't give you too much detail, but he wants me to take you to watch a match."
"What, like a football, or a rugby match?" I query.
"No, try something more physical." He glances at me for a second before turning back to the road.
"L-Like, contact sport physical or fighting physical?"
"The latter."
"This fucker wants me to watch a boxing match or what, stop being so cryptic." I huff, slightly agitated by the vagueness.
"I'm sorry I-I can't, he told me to not say anything really." Zayn sighs, "Either way you'll find out in five minutes, so just sit tight... yeah?"
"Fine." I reluctantly agree to him.
Though the ride only lasted five more minutes, the roads had started to look unfamiliar. More desolate and run down, this was probably the ends of my city. Our family wasn't well off, but we had enough o get by, a house with four rooms, albeit relatively small. The houses and shops here reminded me of match boxes, small tall and tight fitted. There were eyes in every odd house following our car with either wonder or wariness.
Zayn parks his car inside a wired fence, which was interestingly a car park, well it was actually just a mass of gravel, but there were many cars parked there. We both make our way to the entrance, which had led us to three flights of stairs.
"There's no elevator?" I ask as we descend.
"There is, but it's reserved for emergencies." He responds.
"Emergencies?" I ask as we make it to the final step.
My mind was now running with questions, normal fighting arenas had on sight EMT's, and they sure as hell weren't situated in sketchy car parks.
Jasper pushes the double doors open, "Yep."
Instantly the overwhelming sounds of boisterous men filled my ears, my eyes widen as I suddenly freeze. Zahir grabs my hand and directs us both through the crowd, placing us in the middle of the right wing. The sound of a whistle signals the crowds to quieten down.
"THIRD MATCH WILL BE UP NEXT, IN THREE MINUTES, OUR COMPETITORS ARE HAYASHI AND GREENOUGH, PLACE YOUR FINAL BETS NOW!"
Hayashi?
"W-what's going on?" Bewildered I turn to look at Zayn, but I noticed his focus was situated on something else, directly across from us. I turn and follow the direction of his gaze. A chiselled face that carried a smirk, a look of satisfaction etched onto his features.
Jasper.
I was bound to see him at some point, considering he made the request for me to be escorted here. But what I didn't expect was for him to be mounted upon a seat, next to two others, fixed in a navy suit. Among the horde of hoodies, sweats and stained tops, he presence seemed elevated. Holding something of importance. That chair may have well been a throne.
"It's Ezra, he brought you here today to watch Ezra." Zayn mumbles, but somehow I was managed to hear him as clear as day.
Just as he finishes his sentence, the roar of the crowd grew considerably louder. I look forward, and in the arena stands my twin. My brother. My safe person. The ongoing jeers and shouts have started to make my head ache. The man opposing him stood with great hight, bulky and at least three times Ezra's weight class.
"He's not going to make it." I whisper, half of my mind was still trying to convince me otherwise, cajoling me into believing that Ezra was capable of defeating this hulk of a man.
Distantly I hear the bell go off, commencing the fight. I lock eyes with Jasper for a first and final time in this entire fight. The look of raw excitement his eyes hold make me clench my teeth in rage.
He knew what I was thinking.
And he enjoyed it every bit of my agony.
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Hey guys,
Hope you enjoyed today's chapter, please don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT any errors in my writing.
Thankyou
Elle x