Killian POV
It's day one without Lila and I am already off kilter. I didn't realize how much of my world revolved around her. Even while I was doing my regular Alpha duties, all I can do is think about her. This was a bad idea and I had nobody to blame for it but myself.
She wouldn't have left me for him without my encouragement and he wouldn't have asked her to. Now I sit here with Greg drinking trying to drown out my sorrows but it's just not working.
"Dude why don't you just mindlink her and let her know you miss her?" Greg asks.
"I can't do that. I don't want to make her feel guilty. She and my brother deserve to build their relationship. They are mates," I say. "That was made abundantly clear the other night when I didn't feel the pain of her cheating on me when she fucked him."
"Oh man. That's got to be rough. I can't imagine having to share Susie," he says.
"It wasn't too bad but now it's just driving me crazy knowing that he has her. He could be doing anything to her anything and I would have no idea. I should have just convinced him to stay. That's what she wanted. Now I have to go a whole week without her," I say.
"You sound like a lovesick pup," he says.
"I'm a love sick wolf and the stupidest guy on the planet," I say.
"Why don't you go over there to talk about merging the packs?" He asks.
"No. I have to give him at least one week one shitty week," I say. "I can't even believe he's alive. He deserves all the love and happiness he can get. She'll make him happy. Then we deal with my mother as well."
"That's Alpha Lance's deal," he says. "I'm glad you don't have to make the decision. Killing your mom is no easy task."
"Who says I would kill her?" I ask.
"That's what I'm talking about," he says. You don't have the headspace to make that decision."
"I better get home while I'm able," I say.
I grabbed my remaining whiskey bottle and walked home. Tomas is there waiting up for me.
"Now you know how I felt. It wouldn't surprise me if you went over there," he says.
"I'm not going to do that. They need this time together," I say.
"Whatever you say buddy. I'm here if you need to talk," he says.
As I'm walking upstairs, I hear the sweetest sound I ever heard in my life.
Lila: Killian, what are you doing?
Me: Just got home from Greg's. A little drunk thinking about you.
Lila: Are you really? I've been thinking about you all day.
Me: Where's Ronan?
Lila: He's dealing with some fight so I thought I'd take the time to talk to you. I love you.
Me: I love you too. What have you guys been up to?
Lila: Nothing much. Just talking. His pack is a lot rowdier than yours so he runs off a lot.
Me: Part of Alpha duty is settling disputes.
Lila: We should have just convinced him to stay. I miss you so much.
Me: Goddess, I miss you too.
Lila: I hope I can last a week. It's so different over here. I wish you were here.
Me: I wish I was there too baby but you guys need this time. You shouldn't even be talking to me.
Lila: You said I can mindlink you.
Me: If you needed me.
Lila: I always need you. I could use you right now because I'm at an eight and there's nobody around.
Me: You could take care of yourself while telling me what you're doing. Wait, let me get my room and I'll join you.
Lila: I think I hear Ronan. I better go. I love you.
Me: I love you too.
She cut the mindlink. Now I know what they're going to be doing and my heart aches not being with them. It's not the only thing aching. I guess a better take care of myself.
Lila POV
"You know I can hear you guys, right?" Ronan asks. "You should keep that in mind when you mindlink with him."
"I forgot about that. I didn't say anything bad," I say.
"Apparently you don't like my pack very much. I grew up with these people. This is my family," he says. "Sure, they are a little rowdy but it comes with the territory. I have a lot of unmated males. It breeds problems."
"I wasn't aware of that," I say.
"There's a lot you're not aware of," he says. "But you'll learn. Now come to bed. I heard you're at an eight."
I went up to bed with Ronan. His room was very different than ours. He had a lot of dark colors and it looked austere. I decided to look past all of that and went and laid down on his bed.
He stood at the foot of the bed and said, "I'm going to do things a little different tonight if that's all right with you."
"I'm always up for experimentation," I say.
"Then you're going to need a safe word," he said with a devilish grin.
The next morning I woke up still sore. I've never experienced anything like that and wasn't sure if I liked it or not. There were sounds coming out of me I've never heard before. At one point I think I squealed like a pig.
He was in control the entire time, pushing me pulling me, and choking me. I don't know how I felt about it. I have to think about it. There was a lot to digest. He came down and sat beside me while we had breakfast.
"How are you feeling?" he asks.
"To be honest, I don't quite know," I say.
"Did you enjoy yourself last night? You seemed like you did," he says.
"That's what I'm trying to figure out," I say.
"It can be scary when you're not with somebody you trust. Maybe we haven't built up enough trust to be doing those things," he says. "I'll hold off on the more kinky stuff until we get to know each other better and then you can decide if you like it or not. All right? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"I'm not uncomfortable. It's just I don't want you choking me while I'm pregnant," I say.
"I'm sorry. I didn't even think about it. I was just in the moment," he says.
"Choking has never been something I've done before and yeah it felt good but then I thought about my babies," I say.
"Babies," he asks.
"Yeah. I'm having twins. A boy and a girl," I say, smiling.
"Doesn't that beat all. You're having twins with a twin. Is he happy? I know I would be," he says.
You guys are identical so it's like they are yours. These are what your kids would look like," I say.
"Yeah but they're his. I know they're his. Everybody will know that as well," he says.
"I want to have a big family. There's nothing stopping us from having a child next," I say.
"You would have my babies?" He asks.
"Yes, you're my mate," I say.
"Wow! I never thought I would have kids. I never thought I would find you. When you disappeared it's like, I don't know," he says. "It was like the feeling of home leaving and now I have you and you're with me and I'm just fucking it up."
"What are you talking about?" I ask.
"What I did last night. I made you uncomfortable," he says.
I told you. You didn't make me uncomfortable. It was just the choking I had a problem with. I don't mind rough play. It can be very enjoyable," I say and he grins at me.
"What's your favorite breakfast food?" He asks.
"Definitely cereal. I love hot and cold cereal," I say.
"Then why are you eating this?" He asks.
I rub my belly in response. "If I just ate my favorites, these guy would miss out on vital nutrients," I say. "What's yours?"
"Eggs Benedict," he says
"Did you have a mother figure while you were living here?" I asked.
"I don't want to talk about that," he says, darkly.
"I'm sorry. I was just trying to get to know you," I say
"We'll talk about that eventually. Just not now. Ask me something else," he says.
We made small talk all through breakfast until he had to go and settle another dispute. He came back with a busted lip but said that was nothing.
I was missing Killian something awful. I just wanted him to be here. Then I wondered if I'd be missing Ronan as much when I was with Killian and if I'd want him to be around.
I liked Ronan. I care for him but there was like this wall between us and I didn't know how to navigate it. He had been through so much all by himself without his family since he was eight years old. Goddess only knows what that does to a person.
I was determined to give him all the love I had to give. I want to bring him back to the real world. I wanted to bring him back home to his family.
That night he decided he wanted to have a first with me so we had anal sex. It was painful but the excitement he felt being my first overcame my discomfort.
On Thursday, he took me to his special spot. I held his clothes while he shifted and ran with me on top. It was a beautiful lake. He set me down before shifting and getting dressed.
"This is where it all happened. I used to come here everyday hoping my mom was going to take me back. She never came," he says. "In hindsight I should have just ran home but I thought I needed permission. I was so stupid."
"You weren't stupid. You were just a small boy. How did it happen?" I asked.
"She drove us around for a while before she brought us here. She said, 'wait here until my friend comes then I will come to bring you home'. I believed her," he says. "I was so happy to be spending time with her. I didn't even think anything was off," he says.
"That's awful. She's pure evil. I would never leave my kids like that," I say.
"I don't think she imagined she ever would either," he says. "As much as I hate this place, it is mine,"
He sat there looking over the lake. I climbed into his lap.
"I didn't have a mother figure growing up. The closest thing was Maria, our cook. She was kind to me and always helped me out. I was homeschooled so I was pretty lonely," he says. "Especially without my siblings."
"Why don't you spend time with them now?" I ask.
"I suppose I will eventually. I'm focusing on you right now. If I can connect with you, I'll be happy," he says.
I think we are connecting," I say. "I definitely care about you and want you to be happy."
"Happy?" He gave a sardonic laugh. "Happiness is for others. I'm trying to be satisfied."
"In bed?" I ask teasingly.
"In all aspects of life," he says.
"I think you need to make some new memories," I say, taking off my clothes. " Let me give you something else to think about when you come here."
"That's something we agree on. I do need new memories. Get down on your knees," he says and I comply.
He pulls down his pants and holds out his cock to me. "Show me how much you care about me with that mouth of yours then I will return the favor," he says.
I take him into my mouth and show him just how much I care about him. He is gentle when he goes down on me then I'm on my knees with him thrusting behind me.
His memories of that lake were forever changed.
A/N the photo is of the lake.