CHAPTER 18
Sarah inhaled deeply. She hesitated at the door. Chris stood behind her patiently. She needed time to ready herself. She was about to see the evidence that her carefully organized life had been infiltrated once again.
"Sarah, you don't have to do this right now," Chris said after a while when she made to attempt to open the door.
"I know. But putting it off won't make it go away."
Sarah whirled around when Chris grabbed her hand. This was the second time when he held her hand in less than half an hour.
Were they moving fast?
Sarah looked into his eyes. His eyes usually had mischievous glint but now they shone with sincerity and concern for her. She was touched. To show how grateful she was, she squeezed his hand. A sweet and sincere smile broke on his face. He squeezed her hand back.
"Thank you," she said, her voice thick with emotions. Her feelings for acting funny. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hug him and stay in this moment forever. She couldn't believe that the stranger she had met some months ago was being her support without even knowing the truth whereas her own family... She stopped herself from going down that rabbit hole.
"You're welcome."
"I'm ready." She nodded to reaffirm herself.
Sighing deeply, Sarah turned the door knob with her free hand. Chris still held her other hand.
She stepped inside. Her gaze landed on the fallen objects on the floor. The flowers taunted her. The chocolates twisted her insides. She recoiled. It was difficult not to.
She walked swiftly to her kitchen. She opened the drawer where she had kept the other chocolate box. She took it out and dropped on the counter as if it had burned her skin. She then walked to her room. Chris remained in the kitchen.
In her room, Sarah grabbed her clothes. She wanted to have a shower but staying in this apartment was a terrifying notion.
As she was about to exit her room, her eyes caught the sight of the flowers that had been delivered the other day. She shuddered. How foolish was of her to assume that Chris had sent those. And like a sappy little girl she put in the vase in her room. Only if had she known. She chided herself.
Anger surged though her veins. She wanted to destroy these flowers. She grabbed them with force and tightened the grip on the stems as if she was squeezing the life out of someone.
She wanted to squeeze the life out of certain someone. She was feeling murderous. All the overwhelming emotions wanted to be freed. She wanted to ruin one person's life.
She wasn't like this. He was messing with her brain. She was feeling this way because she was alone in this room. She needed to get out of here.
Sarah marched out with clothes in one hand, and the flowers in the other. Chris was in the living room. Her steps slowed down. A frown appeared on her face.
Chris had a trash bag in his hand. His eyes traveled down her hands, on the roses. He scowled at the offending pink roses.
"Want to put them in the trash bag?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied without hesitation. As much force as could muster, Sarah threw the flowers in the trash bag with hatred. "What are you gonna do with these?"
"I've something in my mind." He winked at her. Sarah's body relaxed at his careless response. She needed someone like him in her life.
They both walked back to Chris's apartment.
"Which way is the guest room?" Sarah asked.
"That I'm not going to tell you. But you know the way to my room, right?" He tilted his head to the left. His words sounded heated.
Sarah couldn't argue further. She was tongue tied. Therefore, she walked to his room and locked herself in the bathroom.
She didn't move for several seconds. She just blinked at her reflection in the mirror. She couldn't find fear in her eyes. She wasn't anxious. Her eyes were not bloodshot red. She wasn't dying of uncertainty of her future. Now, she looked confident. She saw strength in her eyes to fight this evil.
She smiled at her reflection. She needed to remind herself that she was stronger than before. She had won the battle once before, and she could win it again.
Sarah took her time to shower. Warm water soothed her tensed muscles. Since it wasn't her bathroom, she didn't have her toiletries. She had use Chris's. This seemed too intimate. Sarah blushed at her thought. She wasn't a blushing type but darn it, Chris made her. She used his shower gel and his shampoo. The citric smell evoked some memories. Like when she met Chris about four months ago. She was attracted towards him. She smelled the exact same fragrance when she stood a few feet away from him, hiding from the crowd. It was her graduation. Chris was an honorary guest there. But he opened his mouth and shattered her illusion.
Sarah had heard him taking on the phone and he had been extremely critical about hiring fresh graduates. That had flared Sarah's temper. She was a fresh graduate and she didn't like what he had said. She hadn't been eavesdropping; she had heard him by accident. And once she'd heard what he had said, she couldn't stop herself.
Sarah sighed. She was again thinking about past. And the memory did bring a slight spark of anger. She nipped it down. She should be angry at him. Chris had sort of clarified his opinion that first day in the office. Even though Sarah wasn't totally satisfied with his response, she had to agree with him. Also, this conventions was for some other day.
Dressing herself, she stepped out of the bathroom. The room was quiet and she slit felt awkward for being there.
She tiptoed to the door. When she opted it, she heard faint noises. She followed them and her feet took her to the living room. The TV was on. Chris was watching highlights of a football game while sipping coffee. She rolled her eyes at him. It was two in the morning and this man was drinking coffee. When would he sleep?!
She was still in her thoughts that she didn't notice that he had muted the TV and and was now staring at her. While sipping that damn coffee. His eyes took in her appearance. She couldn't see his expression -- except his eyes-- as the coffee mug hid most of his face.
Her knees turned into jelly. Coming here was a mistake. She realized that soon. But she couldn't turn back the time. She had to deal with this.
Willing her brain to muster up the strength, she walked to the couch and took seat opposite to him.
"Coffee?" Chris tilted the mugs in her direction, his eyes still on her face, searching for something.
"No. Thanks." Her words came out like a squeak. She cleared her throat.
Get a grip, Sarah. She chided herself.
He shrugged. "Your loss. It's actually delicious."
She looked here and there, to avoid his gaze. She knew what was havening between them. She knew he was also attracted towards her. But she was inexperienced in this matter. She didn't know how to react when there was mutual attraction.
"Um... where is the trash bag?"
"In the kitchen. It'll go into dumpster."
Sarah nodded.
"Or... we could play a game with it," Chris mused. Sarah narrowed her eyes at him.
"Play a game? What exactly do you have in your mind."
"How about we throw every single item in fire?"
Sarah sat a little straighter. His suggestion stoked something in her. It was a tempting offer. Her heart fluttered in response. She could feel the satisfaction this would bring her.
"I'm game," she said enthusiastically.
Chris didn't waste time. He fetched that disgusting bag.
"This isn't time for tilting fireplaces. Wouldn't we torture ourselves by sitting close to it."
"Hmmm... nah. We'll be fine." Chris dropped the AC temperature. And he also pushed the couch several feet away from the fireplace. He had solution to everything.
He ignited the fire. Sarah became excited. She wanted to throw the whole trash bag in it at once, but she knew throwing piece by piece would feel like a sweet victory.
They both took their seat on the couch. The bag sat their feet. Chris opened it. He grabbed the chocolate box. For a second, Sarah's breath caught in thee throat. She still felt that fear. She wasn't over it. But it wasn't that overpowering. When she didn't move, Chris took one piece and threw it into the fire aggressively. Sarah grabbed the next and she shoved it into the flames with as much force as she could. The anger showed on her face. It seemed as if a dam broke. Sarah grabbed a handful of chocolates and threw them into the fire one by one. Chris also threw them occasionally.
"Nice shot, Firecracker," he cheered her on. Sarah barely contained her laughter at the nickname. It was such a cheesy name.
Chris grabbed the flowers next. Sarah threw them into the fire one by one. For next fifteen minutes they, burnt the cause of Sarah's fear in some form. Sarah also pictured throwing her stalker into the fire. The image soothed her mind. She need this. It was a therapy she never had. And she was grateful of Chris. When the last chocolate awes thrown into the flames, she looked at Chris.
He smiled sincerely at her. She was entranced by it. She never saw him simpling like this. It was always a smirk. But this smile of him was toxic one. It had power to lure in her heart. Sarah knew she was in trouble. She could fall for this guy.
She yawned. Suddenly so tired that it was becoming so hard to open her eyes. Chris's expressions softened at her tired face. She wanted to ask him that what he was thinking.
"Come on! Let's tuck you in bed," he said. Standing up, he grabbed her hands and helped her to stand.
When Chris led her to his bedroom's direction, she dug her heels in. "Wait. I'm not going to take your room. I think I should go back to my apartment. Because... because..."
"Because?" there was a sudden shift in her demeanor. Chris seemed confused.
"Because what if someone found out about this. There will be gossip in the office."
"Are you afraid of office gossip. Oh god! Let me put you at ease. The gossip about us have already started, in case you haven't noticed."
"What?!" she shouted in shock.
"Who is gossiping about us and what they're saying?"
"I don't know. I just know that they talk about us."
"This is ridiculous. You know they are talking about us but you don't know what and who?"
"Precisely."
"How is that even possible?"
"I saw a few employees, I don't know the names of, looking at us, then whispering into each others' ears. It isn't rocket science."
"And you're telling me this now?"
"I forgot." He shrugged innocently. It was anything but innocent.
"Oh God! This is disaster. I'm not going to office tomorrow. I'm going to quit. How could you let that happen? And why didn't you tell me this sooner?" she ranted.
This was getting out of control. She wanted to stay away from the attention. But now she was center of attention once again.
"Sarah, relax." He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her closer. She was exhausted. This day was a roller coaster. She experienced multitude of emotions. Now her energy was drained. She wanted to sleep.
She didn't know how but she eventually needed up in Chris's bedroom and he was in his guest room. This realization hit her when she was comfortable under the covers.
But now her mind was occupied with thoughts of rumors about her. She dreaded going in to the office next day. She cursed Chris for telling her this. However a small part in her was relived that he had told this her now. She needed this distraction after everything that had happened. She was relieved that she had something else to focus on... or else she'd have gone crazy. Just like last time when he stalked her.
Now she was plotting way to evade Chris in the office. She was making strategies to convince her colleagues that nothing was going on between her and the boss.
With these thoughts she easily fell asleep.