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| SEASON OF LOVE |
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Friday.
30 November 2018.
Riverlin, Michigan.
"Babe," Katherine placed her hand on Hope's thigh because her leg was bouncing up and down uncontrollably. "Calm down."
"Sorry," Hope whispered. She stopped bouncing her leg and instead nervously played with the hairband she had around her wrist. She pulled it repeatedly, letting the band smack against her skin.
"Girl, why are you so nervous? I don't understand how you're still nervous when you're on a plane every other week it feels like."
"You know the descent and landing is the worst part for me."
No matter how many times she's traveled via plane, sometimes twice in a single 24-hour period to make photo shoots, fashion shows, or for other various business endeavors, she always gets nervous right before the plane begins to land. That, and she was also nervous about being home for the first time in years. She was nervous about how her family would react to her not-so-subtle avoidance of Riverlin since she left for college at the age of eighteen. But ultimately, it was easier to blame her motion sickness for her uneasiness.
Hope was nervous until she was being engulfed in her father's arms the second she saw him waiting for her outside of baggage claim. Hope hadn't seen her father in much longer than she'd care to admit, so the fact that she started crying as he held his arms tightly around his baby girl was not surprising at all.
It felt good to hug her father. It felt good to hold him close and breathe in his very comforting and familiar scent. Because in a world full of constant changes, the warmth of her father's hugs and the cologne/aftershave he's used since she was a little girl never changes.
Katherine even snuck a few pictures of the beautiful moment on her phone because she knew that was a memory Hope would love to look back on.
"I didn't think I'd cry," Hope sniffled when she pulled away from her father's embrace. "Why am I crying right now? I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you too, Nadine," he said as he wiped her tears away with his thumbs before placing a kiss on each of her cheeks.
"Oh God, where are my manners?" Hope straightened up when she realized Katherine was just awkwardly standing behind them with her hand protectively placed on the cart with all their luggage. "Daddy, this is Katherine. Kat, this is my dad. I don't think you guys have met before."
"We've met in passing once when your parents came to visit in L.A., but it's nice to officially meet you, Mr. Turner."
Katherine held her hand out for a shake, but Norman pulled her into a quick, welcoming hug instead.
"Oh, you don't have to be so formal. Norman or Turner is just fine. Hearing Mr. before my name makes me feel old."
"He thinks he's still a young man," Hope rolled her eyes.
"I am," Norman laughed as he ran his fingers across his fully grey beard.
"Okay, daddy. We should get out of here before I say something that might be offensive. I wouldn't want a geriatric joke or two to slip out."
"You've always been so funny," he replied very sarcastically. "Just like your mother."
"Mmm, and speaking of mom, where is she? I'm surprised she didn't come with you to pick us up the way she was carrying on about me coming home."
"That's because she's been up since early this morning cooking like we didn't just have Thanksgiving last week. Apparently she thinks you've never eaten before the way she's in there cooking."
Hope couldn't do anything but shake her head because that sounds just like Nina Turner. There isn't a woman more extra on the planet. "She has good intentions."
"Well, I'm not complaining," Katherine chimed in. "I could definitely use a good home-cooked meal."
"Then let's not keep you girls waiting any longer!" Norman announced, taking up the job of pushing the cart with their luggage on it through the airport.
~
"Nadine! Nadine, baby girl!" Nina was standing outside on the porch yelling her name and frantically waving her arms as they drove onto the driveway. And the second Norman put the car in park, she was running down the steps and towards the passenger side where Hope was sitting.
"Oh my God," Hope mumbled as her mother approached the car. She was happy to see her mom, but she wasn't ready for the excess amount of love she knew her mother would suffocate her with the first few days of being there.
"Open the door!" Nina knocked on the window as if Hope weren't staring directly at her through the glass.
Hope made no move to open the door, so her father unlocked all of them from the driver's side. And as soon as Nina heard the clicking sound, she swung the door open and practically pulled Hope out of the car and into one of the tightest hugs she'd ever experienced in her life.
"Mama," Hope gasped because she couldn't breathe from how tight her mother was holding her.
"I'm sorry, I've just missed you so much."
"You just saw me a few months ago," Hope reminded her.
"That was close to a year ago now."
"Mom, this is Katherine," Hope took the chance to introduce her when she stepped out of the car so her mom wouldn't start going on about how long it's been since she last saw her.
"It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Turner."
"Nina is just fine, baby," she said as she pulled Katherine into a hug much gentler than the one she gave Hope.
"And thank you guys again for letting me stay with you. I know it was last minute, so I hope it doesn't feel like I'm intruding," Katherine said to both Nina and Norman.
"Oh, of course not," Nina dramatically waved her hands in the air. "It's no problem. You're family to Nadine, so you're family to us too." She turned to her husband before continuing. "Norman, honey, can you please bring their bags up for them?"
She asked him even though there wasn't a chance he would let them touch the bags or bring them up a flight of stairs under his watch.
"Of course." Norman opened the trunk and started to unload their luggage. And as he passed Nina, with a heavy suitcase in either hand, he still stopped in front of her to place a kiss on her cheek before making his way into the house. And after over 45 years of being married to each other, Norman still makes her blush like it's the first day.
"Aww, you guys are a beautiful couple," Katherine couldn't help that she smiled just from seeing Nina's smile.
"Oh, trust me, you'll get tired of it soon enough," Hope warned. "It gets old real quick."
"She's just jealous," Nina teased. "And Nadine, oh my God," her mother smooshed her cheeks in with her palms, looking directly into her eyes with a very concerned look on her face. "Is there no good food on the west coast? Why do you look so thin and frail?"
Hope did not particularly like that the first thing Nina did was point out her weight and how much of it she had seemingly lost. Hope was also wearing a jacket and sweats, which made her feel a little worse about the unintentional weight loss if her mother could so easily point it out even through multiple layers.
"Mama, I've always been thin."
"But not this thin. I was hoping all those pictures of you online and in magazines were edited. You've always been a bit lanky, but my God. Los Angeles has turned you into a walking skeleton."
Hope felt like her mother was doing a bit much, and she didn't appreciate it at all. Her entire career is centered around her looks and how thin her body is, so that was the last thing she wanted to be hearing while at home.
"Oh, no, no, no, Nadine. We need to get some food in you. Quickly."
"I'm not hungry."
And the way Nina was carrying on made her want to eat even less.
"Well, I am," Katherine shrugged because she will never turn down a good plate of food.
"That's right, Katherine. I made enough food for everyone."
"Everyone?" Hope raised her eyebrows.
"Of course! Everyone is so excited to see you that they couldn't wait another second. You know people have work, so they should be here later this afternoon."
Hope was hoping to have the rest of the day to decompress and relax before she had to deal with the too-muchness that is the Harvey-Turner family.
"But we don't have to wait for them to get here. You can eat now."
"Mama, I said I'm not hungry. I ate on the plane-" but Hope barely got a chance to finish her sentence before her mother was cutting her off.
"Nonsense! You're going to eat, Nadine. We need to get you back up to a healthy weight. Come on, let's get you inside where it's warm."
~
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~
That Friday night, Noelle sat patiently in the small Italian restaurant as she waited for her not-exactly-a-date to arrive. She'd gotten there early, but when she looked down at her phone, she realized that the person she was supposed to be meeting, the person who planned this meeting, was more than ten minutes late. She wouldn't normally be upset about such a small thing like that, but between her hectic work and class schedules, and the fact that she didn't want to be there at all, she couldn't help feeling like her time was being wasted.
"Noelle," she heard her name being called a few minutes later. And luckily too, because she was seconds away from getting up and leaving.
"Tayden," she said in as friendly a tone she could muster up as her ex-fiancé approached her table.
"I'm so sorry I'm late. I got caught up in the office and then I was on the phone with one of my business partners the whole drive here. Please, forgive me. You know I'm never one to be late without giving you a call."
And he was right about that. Tayden has never been late to anything without giving Noelle some type of notice or warning. Even as a psychiatrist who runs a family-owned practice, he always found the time to make her his number one priority.
"It's fine, Tayden. You're good. I know how busy your days can get."
And in the grand scheme of things, she figured she could forgive him for being fifteen minutes late without calling, seeing as she ended their entire two-year relationship with absolutely no notice whatsoever.
Tayden politely held his hand out to Noelle, and she obliged him by letting him pull her up to a standing position and pulled her into a warm embrace.
He kept his hands a respectful distance from her ass or waist, holding them on her upper back as he pulled her into his chest. Noelle can admit she missed his warm bear-like hugs, which is why she wasn't in a rush to pull away from him.
But once they did pull away, Tayden shrugged out of his jacket and neatly placed it over the back of the chair before sitting down across from Noelle.
"You look beautiful, Noelle. Really, you look amazing," he said as his eyes glanced over her body. She was wearing a sweater dress and knee-high boots to combat the cold weather, but even so, he could tell that she'd gotten thicker in all of the right places since he'd last seen her.
"Thank you. And you look nice too. I was wrong about you growing out the beard. I think it fits you now that I see it fully grown in."
"You think so?" Tayden let out an awkward laugh as he ran his fingers across his thick beard. "I've been using a new beard oil. I guess it's working, huh?"
"I guess so. You look really good. It fits your face very nicely." And she meant it wholeheartedly. Noelle thought that Tayden was very handsome from the first moment she laid eyes on him, which is why her initial attraction to him was instant.
He has a temp fade with waves that stay shiny and perfectly moisturized at all times. His beard is thick and free of any patches. He always smells good, even when he's not wearing cologne. Just the smell of his body lotion and beard oil was enough to have Noelle tripping over her own feet. His medium-brown skin is healthy and blemish free. His teeth are so perfect and so white that they almost look fake, and he stood at the perfect height of 6'3".
He has a doctorate and runs his own psychiatry practice with his father and his uncle. Actually, almost everyone in his family is involved in the medical profession in some way.
He's the type of guy any woman would be lucky to take home to meet her parents. He's the type of guy any woman would want to tie down and keep as close as possible because there aren't a lot of good men like that left out there.
Everything about Tayden is near perfect, which made sitting in front of him and confessing why she called off their wedding that much harder for Noelle to do.
She knew she would have to face him at some point. She knew she would have to tell him the truth about why she did what she did, she was just hoping she could avoid it— avoid him— for a little while longer.
"I bet you regret never letting me grow it out sooner, huh?" Tayden teased, which earned him a half smirk and an eye roll from Noelle. And to him, that was a win. Just seeing her beautiful smile makes his smile grow even wider.
"You've always been so annoying," she teased him back.
"You liked it though. Don't lie."
Her only response was another eye roll.
"But, uhm," Tayden cleared his throat. "On a more serious note, I'm surprised you agreed to meet me here tonight. I never thought you'd give us the chance to sit down and talk things out."
He says that because Noelle is not one for postmortems, but she figured it was the least she owed him after calling off their wedding just months before it was supposed to happen. And after completely cutting him out of her life as if he was never an important part of it, she felt like she at least owed him some explanation as to what happened and why she did what she did.
"I'm surprised I'm here too, but I know this needs to happen. I know I owe you closure."
"I need more than just closure, Noelle. I need an explanation. We were perfectly fine one day and then the next you're telling me that you're leaving and moving your stuff out of the house. What happened? Where did we go wrong? Where did I go wrong?"
The woman sitting in front of him is someone he genuinely thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with. She's the person he saw himself marrying and starting a family with. They worked so well together, so for her to up and leave just months before their wedding, he was deeply hurt by it.
Just as Noelle opened her mouth to speak, their server approached their table with a very friendly smile.
"Hello, my name is Jessie, and I'll be taking care of you guys tonight," the young woman said in a very cheerful tone.
"Yes, uhm," Tayden quickly glanced at the drink menu, "can I please get a whiskey on the rocks and a glass of ice water also."
"Of course, sir. And for you, ma'am?"
"Can I please get a Shirley Temple with a double shot of vodka? And an ice water also, thank you."
"No problem. And are you guys also ready to order, or do you need some more time?"
Because Noelle and Tayden had been to the restaurant so many times already, they knew exactly what they wanted so there was no need to even look at the menu. They recited their orders from memory.
"I'll have those right out for you," the server gave them another bubbly smile before walking away from their table.
Before Tayden could continue their conversation, Noelle politely interrupted him and excused herself to the bathroom. On the way there, she answered the text messages she'd received from Dwayne while she was sitting at the table. The first one said that he was at his aunt's house for dinner and didn't know when he and Riley would be home. The second was to remind her to be open and honest with Tayden and to wish her good luck because he knew just how nervous she'd been about meeting with him.
When Noelle got back from the bathroom, their drinks were sitting on the table, with a few obvious sips already missing from Tayden's glass. She wished he'd drink more because if they were really going to have this conversation, she thought it would be a lot easier if they weren't both sober.
"As I was saying before," Tayden picked their conversation back up the second she was settled back into her seat, just like she knew he would. She took that time to take a few large sips from her own drink.
"Mhmm," she nodded her head to let him know she was listening.
"Noelle, what happened between us? One day everything was amazing and the next you're packing your stuff to leave and giving me back your engagement ring. Were you not ready to get married?"
"It's not that I wasn't ready."
"So what was it? What changed?"
"Nothing changed, not really. I realized that you're a good man, Tayden. You're a really good man, and that's hard to come by. And if I can be honest..."
"Please," he nodded his head. "That's why we're here."
"I don't think I loved you as much as you loved me. I did love you, don't get me wrong. There's so much that I still love about you, but I'm not sure I was ever in love with you. And trust me, it was a lot harder leaving you than you might think. And... I do miss you. But, I also know that you deserve to be with a woman who will love you how you deserve to be loved."
Tayden sat there just slowly nodding his head as Noelle spoke. He was silent and his face was hard to read, which is not unusual for him because he's used to keeping a neutral demeanor when with his patients.
"I thought over time I could learn to love you to the same extent you loved me, and now saying that out loud, I realize how insane that sounds. I realize how shitty of a person I am. And Tayden, I'm sorry I wasted your time and took advantage of your kind heart. I'm so sorry I wasn't honest about all of this from the beginning."
It took him a minute to say anything in response to what she had said. He really sat with her words and let his brain fully make sense of them before formulating any type of verbal response.
"That's very honest of you," he finally spoke. " I never knew you felt like that, and honestly, I wish you would have told me all of this before. Or at the least, you could have said all of this when you ended things instead of avoiding me the last month."
"I know," Noelle let out a deep sigh full of regret and shame. "I haven't been avoiding you because I don't want to talk to you. I... I just haven't been able to forgive myself for what I did to you. You didn't deserve any of that."
"I can't help but feel like there's something else going on here. There has to be more to it than that."
"What are you talking about?"
"I mean there has to be some deeper reason why we didn't work out."
"There isn't always a deeper meaning to everything. I just told you why I chose to walk away when I did."
"You say you didn't love me as much as I loved you, but why try and force it in the first place? Why try and force feelings you knew were never there?"
"Because I wanted us to work."
"Why?"
"Because we worked so well together. Everything about us worked so seamlessly together. We just... made sense. Being with you was easy and uncomplicated. Marrying you is what I was supposed to want. I felt like it was what I was supposed to do."
"And when you say uncomplicated, are you referring to the other person you were in love with from your past? Was that relationship complicated?"
"Tayden," Noelle said barely above a whisper.
Noelle has briefly mentioned that she'd been in love before Tayden, but they never went into much detail bout it per her request. And because he's never one to push or pry, he's given her to space to open up to him on her own terms. Only she never did.
"Noelle, I know there's something you're not telling me. What happened with this person you claimed to be in love with at one point that makes you so hesitant to ever talk about it?"
He continued speaking when it was obvious she wasn't going to answer his question. She looked down at the plate that had been brought out to them during the midst of their conversation and twirled her fork around in her pasta before taking another bite.
"Look, Noelle, I know you have a complicated relationship with your parents. I know you never felt like you could go to them about anything growing up, and it seems like that has carried over into your adult relationships. You're scared to open up to people, but why is that? What's holding you back?"
"I'm not one of your patients, Tayden," Noelle said after taking a sip of water to wash down the pasta. "You're always doing this. You're always trying to get in my head and figure me out."
"I wouldn't have to do that if you'd just talk to me. If you'd just let me in and be honest with me."
"I've never lied to you."
"I never accused you of lying. But at the same time, you never tell me the full truth either. You never open up to me. You're never vulnerable around me. Is it me? Did I not make you feel comfortable in our relationship? Did I move too fast?"
"You wanna know about the person I was once in love with that badly?"
"That's not even as important to me as why you feel like you can't trust me enough to tell me."
"It's because the person I was in love with is Hope Turner."
Noelle wasn't even shocked that she had finally said it out loud. She didn't surprise herself with the words she'd spoken, nor did she wish she could take them back.
After over a decade of hiding how she felt about Hope, she felt like she could stand up on that very table and scream at the top of her lungs, "My name is Noelle Jennings, and I was once madly and deeply in love with the most beautiful supermodel, the most hardworking entrepreneur, the most talented fashion designer, Hope Turner!"
Once again, Tayden stayed quiet for a minute after her very honest admission. She could see the gears in his head churning and she'd never wished she was able to read people's minds more than she did at that moment.
"Hope, the one you used to be best friends with? The one you grew up with? The supermodel?"
All of those were rhetorical questions because he already knew the answer to all three. There was only one Hope Turner, and he knew it was her.
"Yes. That's her."
"Hmm," he hummed, nodding his head even slower than he was before.
"Are you upset?"
"Now Noelle, why the hell would I be upset?"
"I don't know. I wasn't sure how you would react. I'm not sure how anyone would react to hearing that I loved another girl once, which is why I've never admitted that before."
"I will never be upset with you for anyone you used to love in the past. And I will never be upset with you for anyone you will love in the future either."
Tayden reached across the table and held onto her hand. And only then did she realize she was nervously tapping her fingers against the table.
"I can't say I was expecting it," he continued, "but I would never be upset about something like that. All I wanted was for you to finally be honest with me. To be honest with yourself."
~
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| SEASON OF LOVE |
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Author's Note:
Another long ass chapter. Y'all claim to love them so prove it by actually interacting so I know y'all are real ones!
Also, the next chapter is going to be when Noelle and Hope finally reunite but I'm not sure how I want to go about it yet.
That being said, I'm not sure when that chapter will be out. But it is coming!
Until the next update,
JD <3