It has been two weeks since I last talked to Hyeon. Ever since then I've discarded the burner phone as instructed and waited for some sort of communication but there has been none so far.
Normally, this would have worried me. What if our current leads were a dead end? What if Hyeon decided to abandon this mystery he dragged me into? With no communication, I'm left to wonder the worst and an idle mind is a devil's workshop.
Thankfully, my mind has been far from idle. I've been too busy to even think about it. All thoughts of Dalia's suspicious group members and her picture in Mr. Wan's practice studio have taken a back seat to my daily schedule.
And my daily schedule has been nothing short of gruelling.
The practices for our upcoming show have gone into full swing mode and most of my days start at 5am with practice sessions often dragging into the night. And as if it wasn't hectic enough, gym training has been implemented as a way to 'get us into shape'.
We start our gym training with a certified coach three times a week, then head to our English classes, vocal lessons and end the day with dance practices.
Our dance coach Mr. Lee is adamant that we perfect the dance routine because this will be our first official performance as a group. He stops us over the smallest of mistakes; someones hair flipped too high or someones leg went out further than the others.
He would correct it and then we'd have to start all over again only for him to point out something else.
I get it. We're from a smaller company and sometimes the first performance can make or break a group from companies like ours. Unlike the Big 3, we only have one shot to gain that fandom. That is the only way we'd be invited on music or variety shows to grow our fanbase and gain a shot to make it big.
All of us can feel the pressure, which is why none of us complain when he makes us dance till our limbs feel like they are about to fall off.
1, 2 , 3 turn. I twirl with the beat, stretching out my leg and then drop to the floor. All nine of us flip our hair in synchronicity and then we dig our palms into the floor and do a body roll.
My arms burn with exertion and I try to use my core strength to hold me up. We've done this routine twelve times tonight already and this is the part that always makes me want to collapse.
"Good. Good!" Mr. Lee claps on beat and paces by the mirrors in front of us.
I suck in a breath and smile to myself. That was the first praise we've received from him since we started this routine. I see Binna smiling to herself as well, those two words from Mr Lee seems to have improved the overall mood and we give it our all.
For the first time ever, the music doesn't pause for Mr. Lee to correct us. We actually finish the freaking routine!
Sneaker's squeak against the polished floors as we fall to the floor once the dance is over. I grab my bottle and pass Binna hers as well. Water never tasted so good and sitting down on my butt never felt so heavenly. I'm afraid I might not be able to get up now.
I look up at Mr Lee and then my eyes flit to the posters plastered above the mirrored walls. Most of them are of Viva, the first boy group in our company to break the mould by putting Firefly on the map as an entertainment company.
The pressure is on us now to do the same and I can't help but focus on Jiho's face every time I see a Viva poster.
We have both been so busy with our individual schedules. He's been filming for a guest appearance in a very popular variety show and the only times I have seen him are when we pass each other in the crowded lobby.
Our eyes always meet but that's the extent of our communication. I haven't seen him for our duet practices and Ms Noh has promised that he will there tomorrow after I asked her about it.
They make it seem like I need to practice that one verse a bazillion times just because I'm a rookie but apparently Jiho can just waltz in and we'd be ready for recording.
Although this double standard doesn't annoy me as much as the constant expectation I have to meet him only to be let down when I see the empty room. This isn't good. I want to see Jiho more than I should. Now isn't the time to have a crush but I've come to realise that I have it down bad.
Every morning I wake up excited that we will finally be able to meet and every evening I leave the building in disappointment.
The only silver lining is that Mr. Wan hasn't joined us since our first practice. The memory of his perverse gaze on my legs is enough to give me goosebumps. I had to postpone our so called 'one on one' practice session but his clipped reply made it obvious that he wasn't happy.
I realise I can only delay this for so long. Mr. Wan is not someone you want to mess with in our company. Sooner or later I will have to face him and maybe I'd be able to ask about that picture with Dalia.
"Okay, girls. Good work today. I can finally see something forming here. The teamwork and synchronisation has improved tremendously. I just have a few things to say before we finish. Binna you need to bend more to compensate for the height differences and Rachel your turns are too stiff." Mr Lee states.
He pauses between words and I can hear panting from the other girls as we listen intently.
"Also I need more emotion for you." It might just be my paranoia but I see him looking at me when he says this. "Anyway it's late. We'll take it from the top tomorrow. Remember we have one week till the music video shoot and I need perfection by then. Got it?"
"Yes, Mr Lee," A chorus of voices chime in reply and he nods looking satisfied. "Goodnight girls."
He shuts the door behind him and most of us slump to the floor immediately. I'm lying on the polished hardwood with my arms and legs splayed out like a starfish. I am so tired if I close my eyes I would probably knock off here and now.
"I feel like I'm eighty years old," JinJin grumbles tiredly and a few people groan in agreement.
"Come on guys. We're stinking up the room and they need to close up the floor." Binna is the only one who has the energy to sit up.
"I can't move," Rachel says.
I turn to look at her and she is lying down the exact same way. Our eyes meet and we burst out laughing. I never used to get along with these girls but spending almost every waking minute with them has really warmed us up to each other recently.
Even JinJin has been nicer than usual.
"Jay must be waiting downstairs. Come on, let's go," She pulls herself up reluctantly. "You girls should just come with us. There's plenty of space for the rest of you."
She looks at both Binna and I and my eyebrows raise in surprise. JinJin has never offered us a ride before.
Most of the girls here nod and thank her gratefully but Binna and I stare at each other. I'm really bone tired right now and as much as I'd hate to admit it, hitching a ride with a frenemy seems so much better than waiting for the bus in this weather.
"Oh come on. We're going to be travelling every where together once we debut. Might as well get used to it now," JinJin's eyes narrow my way and I shrug in defeat.
"Thank you. I'd really appreciate that."
Her lips pull up at the corners ever so slightly before the moment disappears. "Geez, there's no need to be so formal about it."
She rolls her eyes and gets up to leave. The rest of the girls pack up and follow her downstairs. The lobby is dark by now, with only a few lights still illuminating how empty the building is at this hour.
I've always hated the dark so I quicken my steps and wrap my scarf around my neck once we are outside. The cold air is biting and JinJin's large van is a solace with it's heaters on full blast. Eight of us huddle together in the back while JinJin stretches her legs in the passenger seat.
"You know what would be perfect right now?" She asks from the front.
"Fried chicken?" Kim, the biggest eater of our group suggests. She's the thinnest girl here but I've never seen someone with such a large appetite.
"No," JinJin snaps making Kim wince. "A foot massage."
Almost all of us sigh and my feet ache in longing. That is actually not a bad idea. "Are there any good ones open right now?" I ask.
"Only the ones with happy endings," Grace jokes and Rachel snickers in response.
I make a face. Definitely not going to any of those.
We reach our trainee dorms quickly and the lights from the night market ahead catches my attention. I remember the fried tofu I bought there and how Jiho had paid for it. My cheeks warm at the memory but it was so long ago, now it feels like I imagined it.
Kim's stomach growls loudly, cutting through my thoughts and making everyone in the car laugh.
"Guys, I think I'm going to look for something to eat." She gestures to the market a few hundred metres away.
"Are we even allowed to go there at this time?" I wonder out loud.
This time the girls laugh even louder. Only Binna shares my confusion.
"Jina, we are all adults here. There's no law stating we can't go out and buy food of all things," JinJin explains but I still feel skeptical.
"Yeah, I go out almost every night to binge eat. Haven't you noticed?" Kim asks me but her question only draws a blank. It never occurred to me that the girls were coming out and going in as they pleased and now I feel like an idiot.
"You mean we're allowed to go out on weekdays after dark? Even without permission? Like on normal days like this?" Binna repeats looking as shocked as I am. "Well in that case I'm going with you to the bazaar. I'm seriously craving some fried squid."
Kim nods excitedly and somehow all of us end up following her to the most lighted up part of our neighbourhood.
We stick close to each other and it's surprising how crowded the walkways here are at this time of night with people rushing to stalls that have started to sell out. We pass by the tofu stall and I buy a packet out of habit.
Tonight feels surreal and all of our previous tiredness evaporates into the air around us, disappearing into the wisps of barbecue smoke and steam from soups. Each of us buy at least one thing to snack on and I can't believe I am enjoying my time here with these girls.
We are deciding on something to drink when I feel someone brush past me and suddenly my coat feels heavier. My pulse spikes and my hand slips into my coat pocket slowly. I feel something small and solid against my fingertips and immediately recognise the object as another burner phone. It feels similar to the one Hyeon gave me before.
My head whips around, trying to catch sight of him but he has disappeared from view and I can't believe how easy that was for him.