I- eeeeeeeeeeeekkk
Eat food, Drink water, and sleep for 5+ hours today or Bisky will follow you around and tell you everything you're doing wrong for the rest of your life
"I'm not big on formalities, so you can just call me Bisky! In return, you must obey every word of what I teach you without question."
"Ugh, no way, and no, thank you." Killua replied. How dare you, respect the goddess.
"We are not so desperate that we need to beg a total stranger to train us. So you can just forget about it. Am I right Gon? Back me up!" That seems more like an order than a question.
"Uh, the thing is, Mr. Wing is already training us." Bro who the fuck is that? I pay a lot of attention to my children I swear. I would never leave them unsupervised for multiple weeks.
"Did you say Wing? That little boy with the messy hair and glasses? The one that never ticks his shirt in?" Bisky asked. Someone fill me in, who the actual fuck is Wing?
"You know him?"
"Well of course I know him! Wing is one of my students, or he was." Bisky informed.
"Really?"
"Wow! What a coincidence!"
"So Wing had become a master now, has he? Time really does fly." Talking about time, do you not age? Just another reason to believe you're a god.
"Does that mean you all are professional Hunters as well?" Bisky asked.
"Yeah! Well, Killua isn't." Gon replied.
"Well, I guess that would mean that I am essentially your master's master. Now that that's out of the way, let's start training!"
Time to bring out the Todoroki conspiracy theories. Reasons to believe Bisky is a god: They don't age, They insult Killua, no other reasons are necessary.
"Quick, sit down. Pretend we're just chatting. There is an enemy behind me." Bisky ordered.
"Don't try to sense him, he'll notice."
"Then how did you sense him?" Killua asked. The goddess already told you to not question her, fucking idiot.
"He let his bloodlust leak out. It wasn't much and it was just for a second, 'cause he's not threatened by children."
"He must be weak since he lost control." Killua shut the fuck up, let out goddess speak. This is why Kalluto is the favorite, because he ran away back to the ice cream shop.
...
...
...
...
Oh shit, Kalluto ran away.
His parents are gonna kill me! Wait- I am his parent! Never mind, everything is fine.
Wait what were we talking about?
"Walk about 500 meters without trying to conceal your presence. Aim for that pillar. Once you get there, use Zetsu. Then get back here immediately."
And then our goddess slapped Killua, which was completely unnecessary. I'm pretty sure she was just getting revenge.
And then we started walking towards the, very conveniently placed, random pillar.
After running back Ig
Oh great, we're dealing with a guy that flunked whatever school barbers go to.
...
Probably because he consumes the hair of his clients... is he okay? I thought I was insane and mentally unstable, but damn, this guy..
"Wait! She's 57 years old!?"
After the man lost all hope he decided to spar with Bisky.
"I guess you're not just trash after all. Fine, let's go." Bisky said. Was that a compliment or an insult?
I am now convinced that Bisky's ability is literally just yeeting people into the air.
"Hey miss Bisky-"
"Please, just call me Bisky. But if you insist on honorifics, call me lady Bisky."
"I think I'm just going to stick with hag-"
Killua being yeeted into the air count: 2
"Question, can I call you goddess?" I asked.
"Hm? Of course!" Yes, I shall feed your ego. You deserve to be worshipped.
"Hey Bisky, why are you here?" Gon asked. Gon, your best friend just got punched so hard that he started flying, and you don't give a fuck?
"I came here to clear the game, but also there's a jewel I'm looking for. And it can only be found here, it's specified slot number 81. What about you three?"
Has nobody else noticed Kalluto's disappearance, or is everyone just ignoring it?
"I thought it was obvious that we're here to clear the game." Killua replied.
"And cause chaos." I added.
And then they started talking about Ging. So I obviously ignored them and started thinking about my trauma, as you do.
"Now begin!"
Wait so who's fighting who- I really need to actually pay attention in these conversations..
"You, what's your name?" Bisky asked.
Goddess. Asked. For. My. Name.
Holy shit!
"You've met a literal god, why are you so excited?" Jinx asked.
I met a god? Oh right, I forgot about that. Wait- I am a god-
I have amazing memory guys. Trust me.
"Y/n." I replied. Y'know, because that's my name.. I think. Back to me having amazing memory.
For some reason I was not going to fight the barber school dropout. I'm not complaining though. Who wants to fight a guy who eats hair for a living?
Especially when I can watch Killua get harmed! We don't question why I dislike Killua, there is no reason. I just do.
"You seem stronger than those two, yet you didn't collect any cards." Bisky mentioned.
"It's a lot more fun to watch them fail miserably." I replied. Y'all watched the anime, then failing miserably was hilarious.
"What's your ability?" Bisky asked. What is my ability? Technically I never made one.
"Everything, I guess. I can do whatever I want with no drawbacks." I explained. I am a god, superior to every other human.
"And you call me a goddess?"
"You don't age, you're overpowered, and you insult Killua, all proof that you are a goddess."
"Alright."
And then I got to watch Gon and Killua toss multiple rocks at a barber wannabe. Or in other words, I watched two teenagers toss large objects at an injured man who was just trying to do his dream job.
If you phrase it right you can make anything sound evil.
"No! Killua stop!" Gon shouted. Wait what-
"Why didn't you let me finish him off?"
"We still have plenty of time. Let's keep going until we can deal with him one-on-one." Did- did Gon just have a good idea? I didn't know he knew how to do that.
And then me and our goddess s̶t̶a̶l̶k̶e̶d̶ watched Gon and Killua fight the barber wannabe for the next two weeks.
Is everyone I know secretly a god? Gon seriously just got a mass murderer to turn himself in. All he did was toss giant rocks at the guy!
Now we get to go to Masadora.
...
Should someone get Kalluto?
Am I the only one who cares about Kalluto's disappearance?
Oh well, I'll just teleport to Kalluto.
Insert Enderman teleporting sound
...
...
"I can explain-"
"Kalluto, why the actual fuck did you run away?"
"Ice cream."
"Fair." You're still going to get punished for this though.
As you can see, I'm an amazing parent.
"Anyways we need to teleport to Masadora." I mentioned. We need to beat Killua of course.
"Why did we have to run all the way here and you just got to teleport!" Killua complained. Because I'm special.
"Kalluto, meet Bisky. Bisky, meet Kalluto." I introduced. "Bisky, would you please t̶o̶r̶t̶u̶r̶e̶ train Kalluto?"
"Another gemstone waiting to be polished!" I'm going to take that as a yes.
This is punishment for running away. Fucking losers. Imagine not being gifted unlimited power for being mentally unstable.
And then I got to sit back and watch my children get a̶b̶u̶s̶e̶d̶ trained. And by trained I mean that they were forced to play Minecraft in real life.
Kalluto loves mining, it can't be to bad.
"So we back in the mine, got our pickaxe swinging from side to side. Side-side to side. This task, a grueling one. Hope to find some diamonds tonight, night, night. Diamonds tonight. Heads up. You hear a sound, turn around and look up. Total shock fills your body Oh no, it's you again. I can never forget those eyes, eyes, eyes Eyes-eyes-eyes. 'Cause, baby, tonight. The creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again. 'Cause, baby, tonight. Grab your pick, shovel, and bolt again. And run, run until it's done, done. Until the sun comes up in the morn'. 'Cause, baby, tonight The creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again. Just when you think you're safe. Overhear some hissing from right behind. Right-right behind. That's a nice life you have. Shame it's gotta end at this time, time, time. Time-time-time-time"
Yep, they're having fun. This is only the 357th time Gon and Killua have been forced to listen to Creeper Aw man.
Word count: 1526
• Holy shit- writing has been so much faster since I started watching the anime. I'm honestly just coming up with ideas as I watch lol
• WHY- WHO GAVE THE HUNTERxHUNTER INTRO SONG THING THE RIGHT TO MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYYYYY
• Yay now Kalluto gets to join in on the t̶o̶r̶t̶u̶r̶e̶ training :D