BitterSweet: one-shot contest winner. Written by Charlotte [@incipient]
When there was no alcohol, I turned to coffee. I loved the bitter taste of coffee. I used to hate it, wonder why grown-ups drank it so much. But after so much of its bitter taste, I think I’m beginning to like it.
“That’s why you’re so short.”
I really don’t care. Starbucks is the best idea on earth and I’m not joking. You used to tease me about always going to Starbucks. Well, you know what, it has free internet and madeleines to go with the coffee.
“I saw an animated French short where the boy melted after drinking so much coffee.”
Stop talking to me. I’m running low on sleep, now, James. It doesn’t help matters that I’m hallucinating about you. Damn these comfortable chairs. Keep typing. Keep typing. Stop distracting me, James.
“You’re talking to yourself.”
You know, I used to worry about that, James. But I think everyone talks to themselves inside their heads. It’s insanity. Why are we all so insane while we’re sane, anyway? I don’t get it. I’m tired. I’m tired. I don’t want to do this, anymore. The keys are clicking away and I don’t even know what I’m typing anymore. How nice would it be if I could just do this all the time, James? How nice if I could just talk to you and not really have to live. I could wake up and it would be done.
“That’s not living.”
Shut up.
“You asked me a question.”
Why do you seem so amused, James? Do you know how bitter it is to hear you and still know you’re gone? I don’t want you to go away. Why did you live? Was your existence only to torture me?
Why are you so bitter? Why are you so sweet?
Maybe it’s opposite and I’m bitter and you were the only sweet thing. I don’t know anymore. I just want you back.
I think my cheek just hit the keyboard right now. I’ll regret that.
But I’m so tired.
So tired of it all.