#OLAPlayPretend
Chapter 14
Resignation
There was great tension between Xaiver and I as soon as we entered his office. He walked straight to his huge office desk and sat on his swivel chair. Pagkaupo ay niluwagan niya ang kanyang necktie bago nag-angat ng tingin sa akin. His domineering aura immediately sent chills down my spine.
Napatigil ako sa paglalakad at hindi na sinubukang mas lumapit pa. Siguro ay nasa limang hakbang din ang layo ko sa kanya.
"Is he hitting on you?" Xaiver asked as soon as his eyes laid on me.
Napakunot ang noo ko. "Sino?"
"The photographer."
"No." Ito lang ba ang pag-uusapan namin?
"He is trying to hit on you," he stated with his jaw clenched, ignoring my answer.
"Tinatanong niya lang ako kung gusto kong maging model."
"That's because he finds you beautiful. He likes you."
Seriously? Bakit pa siya nagtanong kung may sarili naman pala siyang sagot na papaniwalaan?
Hindi ko alam kung saan niya nakuha ang ideyang gusto ako ng photographer gayong tinatanong lang naman nito kung gusto kong maging modelo. He was the one who got hit on by the creative director. Sa paraan pa lanang ng paghawak sa kanyang braso kanina ay halatang gusto siya ng babaeng 'yon.
"Ito ba ang pag-uusapan natin, Sir?" hindi ko na napigilang tanungin ang tanong na naglalaro sa isipan ko.
Xaiver's jaw clenched repeatedly. He looked pretty annoyed. Tuluyan niya nang tinanggal ang kanyang necktie.
"I want to talk about my proposal last night," he eventually said.
My eyes narrowed. He still won't drop this?
"Gusto kong pag-usapan natin nang mabuti. I admit it was wrong of me to just blurt that out, so I want us to have a proper conversation," paliwanag niya.
"Sir, wala na po tayong dapat pag-usapan tungkol doon. Hinding-hindi po magbabago ang isipan ko," mariin kong sabi. "Gaya ng sabi ko, I take marriage seriously."
"I know. You made that clear last night. I admit that I still don't share the same sentiments as yours, but I promise you that this marriage will benefit us both," sabi niya saka inilatag ang kanyang sariling iPad sa lamesa. "You can read this first before you decide."
"Ano 'yan?"
"Read it."
Kagat-kagat ang ibabang labi, nag-aalangan akong lumapit sa kanya. Although I was certain nothing could change my stand regarding his proposal, I was curious as to what he had prepared. He sounded confident that I would reconsider his crazy idea once I got to read whatever he wrote. Kaya naman bumigay rin ako at kinuha 'yon sa kanyang lamesa.
"Marriage Agreement?" basa ko sa heading ng proposal.
I glanced at the number of pages and found it ridiculous that there were more than ten pages in the agreement. Ang format pa ay katulad na katulad ng mga business proposals ng kompanya. Sa pagkakatanda ko ay halos ganito rin ang pinirmahan kong kontrata sa trabaho.
"That's just a draft agreement I prepared in a rush last night. Nandyan lahat ng terms and conditions, benefits, and the likes. It's like a prenuptial agreement. If you want to add something, you may do so. We can revise the contract to your liking. For now, that's what I have to offer you," sabi ni Xaiver. He seemed so proud of himself for putting up something like this for a short time. "I want to let you know that I'm also serious about this marriage, Chantal. Pinag-isipan ko ring mabuti ang lahat. This isn't just a spur of the moment to me."
Hindi ko alam kung maiinis ba ako o matatawa. I skimmed through the pages and took in the important sections in the draft agreement.
It was stated that I had to be married to him for three years. In return, I had the right to enjoy the privileges of being his wife. Hindi ko na kailangang maging sekretarya niya. I'd get a monthly allowance of a million. He would also fund my mother's therapies and regular checkups. A house and lot and a car would also be bought under my name. Whatever assets I acquired during the period of our marriage — using his money or not — would remain my assets after separation.
Nakapaloob din sa kontrata kung paano namin pakikitunguhan ang isa't isa. Pati kung paano ako aakto bilang asawa niya ay nakasulat. Even his husband's duties were written. Everything was so detailed that it terrified me.
Aside from that, there were also grounds for a termination of contract. Bawal ipagsabi kahit kanino — even to my mother — that we were only married through papers. If I happened to break the contract or neglect my duties as his wife in papers, I would have to pay for the damages with a minimum of 10 million pesos.
I scoffed after skimming. Madami pang nakalagay, and I found them all very ridiculous.
Akala niya ba ay ganoon lang kadali ang proseso ng annulment? We don't have divorce here in our country, which could've made things easier for everyone suffering in abusive marriage relationships.
Unfortunately, our country is still very conservative about that matter. Most people find it to be taboo. Mabuti na lang din at dumadami na ang mas nagiging open sa ideyang 'yon kaya sana ay maging daan 'yon upang maipatupad na sa bansa ang divorce.
But I guessed, even without divorce, kaya ni Xaiver na padaliin ang proseso ng mga bagay-bagay. With his power and money, I felt like there was nothing he couldn't do. He could move our corrupt court with his money.
"If you are not satisfied, just tell me, and we will make any revisions as soon as possible. Kung may gusto ka ring idagdag, walang problema. Kahit ano'ng gusto mo, ibibigay ko. You can have the world if you'd ask, and all you have to do is to marry me and play pretend."
I bit my lower lip hard before a smile broke across my face. Halos sumugat ang ngiti ko sa sobrang pilit at inis. Akala niya siguro ay madadala niya ako sa mga "benefits" na sinasabi niya.
How can he be so dense?
Those things were already given. Syempre ay alam ko 'yan kahit hindi niya pa ilatag sa kontrata. Kapag nagpakasal ako sa kanya, lalo na't siya ang may kailangan sa akin, I knew he would give in to everything I wanted. Kaya nga lang ay hindi nga gano'n ang gusto ko.
"Mukhang nahirapan at seryoso ka nga sa pag-iisip ng mga ilalagay mo sa kontrata..." sabi ko saka maingat na inilapag ang mga papel sa lamesa. "But unfortunately, Sir, it's still a no."
Bahagyang napaawang ang kanyang bibig. He stared at me with so much disbelief. Sa sobrang ganda ba naman kasi ng offers niya, sino ang tangang hihindi, 'di ba?
"I will stick to my ideals and principles. I will marry only for love," I told him with my chin up. "If marriage is just a mere business to you, then it isn't to me. No matter how many proposals you come up with, I will never agree to it."
Nanatili pa ring tahimik si Xaiver at pirming nakatitig lamang habang nagsasalita ako. I might have given him the greatest shock of his life.
"Kung ayon lang naman po ang gusto ninyong pag-usapan natin, mauuna na ako." I slightly bowed my head, then took my leave. Hindi ko na siya nilingon ulit at dire-diretso na ako sa paglabas ng kanyang opisina.
Wala pa rin si Joseph nang makabalik ako sa aking lamesa. Nagmadali akong binuksan ulit ang computer at binuksan Word. I stared at the blank document for a few minutes while mentally drafting a letter I never thought I would write that day. Hindi ko naisip na aabot ako sa ganito.
I had plans to work at DVH until I was financially capable of supporting my family's needs, especially my mother's therapies. I had priorities that I should be putting out first right at that moment, pero kilala ko ang sarili ko. I couldn't handle working under him after all that. Natatakot din ako sa mga bagay na pwedeng mangyari dahil tinanggihan ko siya. Baka pag-initan niya ako sa trabaho.
Siguro ay hindi rin masama na ganito ang mangyari. Naniniwala akong may dahilan kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay-bagay. Maybe I'm not meant to stay at DVH longer than this. Maybe it's about time I pursue what I really want and break free from my comfort zone.
I had savings dahil malaki kahit papaano ang aking sahod. Kaya nga lang, I knew it wouldn't be enough to cover our expenses for half a year. Pero kung makakahanap naman ako ng trabaho, kahit above minimum lang ang sahod ay kakayanin ko pa rin. Kailangang lamang naming medyo magtipid pagdating sa mga gastusin na kayang tipirin.
Pagkatapos kong magnilay-nilay ay mabilis ang naging pagtitipa ko ng letter. I had so much resolved after thinking things through until I had finally come up with a decision.
Naging mabilis ang pagdating ng uwian sa araw na 'yon dahil sa schedule ni Xaiver. We were almost preoccupied the whole day because of his interview and photoshoot with Entrepreneur.
Tahimik pa rin kaming dalawa ni Xaiver habang nasa biyahe pauwi. Hindi kami nagkikibuan at mabuti na lang ay kasama namin si Manong kaya wala masyadong tensyon sa pagitan naming dalawa.
Instead of looking angry or pissed off, Xaiver just seemed indifferent. Wala siyang pinapakitang kung anong emosyon. Basta nakatitig lamang siya sa labas ng bintana. Ganoon siya lagi tuwing mayroong malalim na iniisip.
I suddenly wondered if he was finally regretting everything. However, I didn't want to get my hopes up. Buo na rin naman ang desisyon ko. It was time for me to do something inevitable.
"Sir, sandali lang po." Binalingan ko si Xaiver nang huminto ang sasakyan sa harap ng aming bahay.
Mabilis siyang napalingon sa akin. Bahagya rin siyang nag-angat ng kilay.
"Can you wait here?" tanong ko. "May kukuhanin lang ako sa loob. Saglit lang. Babalik din ako agad."
His eyes turned curious. His lips twitched as if he was trying to hold back a smile. Akala ko'y hindi siya papayag, ngunit tipid siyang tumango ng isang beses.
"Be quick," sabi niya.
Tumango naman ako at nagmadali sa bahay. Naabutan kong naghahanda si Mama ng hapunan nang makapasok sa loob ng bahay.
"Tamang-tama at nandito ka na! Kumain na tayo. Handa na ang ulam. Nakaluto na ako," sabi niya kaya saglit akong napatigil sa paglalakad.
"Saglit lang, Ma. Nasa labas po si Sir Xaiver. May ibibigay lang ako," mabilis kong sabi.
Hindi ko na nahintay ang sagot niya. Kahit na mag-re-resign na rin naman ako, natatakot pa rin ako kahit papaano na magalit siya sa akin.
Once I was inside my room, I quickly pulled out the last drawer of my vanity table. Maingat kong kinuha ang box ng necklace mula roon. I made sure that the necklace was still inside before going out. Dala-dala ko na rin ang sobre kung saan ko inilagay ang resignation letter na ginawa ko sa opisina.
Buo ang loob, wala na akong inaksayang oras. I let out a pent up breath and stormed out of our house. Naabutan kong nakatayo na sa labas ng SUV si Xaiver. He was waiting with his back leaning on the car. Nakapamulsa din ang kanyang dalawang kamay.
The moment he spotted me, Xaiver raised his brow and shifted to his position. He also had a ghost of a smile on his lips. Tumuwid siya sa pagatayo at nakuhang humakbang ng ilang beses upang salubungin ako.
I was slightly flustered to see him in good spirits. Ibang-iba 'yon mula sa pinapakita at pinaparamdam niya bago ako pumasok ng bahay. Hindi ko alam kung anong hangin ang umihip sa kanya at naging maganda ang mood niya. But I guessed that was a good thing for me. Okay nang maayos ang disposisyon niya sa oras ng pagpasa ko ng resignation letter.
"What is it you want to give me?" pormal niyang tanong, pilit ang pagiging matigas ng boses sa kabila ng gustong kumawalang ngiti. Nang sumulyap nga lang siya sa dala-dala ko upang hanapin ang ibibigay ko, muling bumalik sa dati ang kanyang disposisyon. "What is that?" tanong niya kahit mukhang alam na niya ang sagot.
Napalunok ako. There's no going back now.
Inangat ko ang box ng necklace. Nakapatong sa ibabaw no'n ang aking resignation letter. At kahit wala pa akong sinasabi, alam kong hindi ko na kailangan pang ipaalam sa kanya ang nilalaman no'n.
"I know I should've given this during working hours, pero naisip kong mas magandang ibigay ko na ngayon at ipaalam ang desisyon ko," sabi ko. Kahit nag-aalangan ay hindi ko pinahalata sa kanya.
I wanted him to see that I was determined to part ways with him. I'd rather look unprofessional than stay working as his secretary. I knew I had to get away. I had to leave.
"Hindi ko alam kung kailan mo pa mahahanap ang babaeng pagbibigyan mo ng necklace na 'to, but I have to give this back now. Hindi ko na mahihintay ang araw na 'yon." Mas inilapit ko pa lalo sa kanya ang box at envelope dahil parang wala siyang balak na kuhanin 'yon sa akin. "I'm officially resigning, Mr. Dela Vega."
There. I finally said it.
Dahil wala pa ring kibo si Xaiver, maingat akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya. He stared intently at me. Ilang beses ding umigting ang kanyang panga. He then took a deep breath, glanced at the letter, and locked eyes with mine.
"Why?" he patiently asked.
"Nakasulat po sa letter ang dahilan—"
"I want to directly hear it from you," he said, then took a step forward. Wala sa sarili akong napaatras dahil sa bahagyang pagkabigla. "I want to hear it from your lips, Miss Bersales. Loud and clear."
Napaawang ang aking bibig. Para bang gawa-gawa ko lamang ang inilagay kong dahilan sa letter. Nahirapan akong tandaan ang rason na 'yon bago ako nakasagot sa kanyang tanong.
"Uhm... I want to grow. Sa tingin ko, tama na ang tatlong taon ko sa DVH at panahon na para maghanap ako ng ibang trabaho."
"No, I don't want to hear those lies, Miss Bersales," sabi niya at saka muling humakbang.
Sa kaba ay muli akong napaatras at napahawak na rin ako sa kanyang dibdib upang pigilan siya sa paglapit. "P-pwedeng huwag ka munang lumapit?"
"Why?" He tilted his head and took another step. "What are you still afraid of? I already caught your lies the moment you spit them out. I just want to hear the truth from you, Miss Bersales. Is it that hard to do, hmm?"
Natataranta akong umiling-iling.
"Now, tell me the truth. Is this about my proposal?" tanong niya upang mas mapadali sa akin ang pagsagot.
Kinagat ko ang aking labi. I should've expected that he would question me. Xaiver wouldn't buy those lies, lalo na dahil sa nangyari.
Bahala na! Nag-resign na lang din naman ako, mabuti nang magsabi na lang ako ng totoo.
"I can't stay at DVH." Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya. "I don't want to continue working for you kaya ako nagdesisyong mag-resign."
"Why?" agap niya.
Talagang ginagawa niya ang lahat upang ma-pressure ako sa pagsagot.
"Totoo ang sinabi ko sa letter... Matagal ko nang plano na aalis din ako balang araw para maghanap ng trabahong mas magagamit ko ang pinag-aralan ko," sabi ko sa kanya. "Pero hindi ko nga lang inaasahang ngayon ang araw na 'yon."
"And that's because of my proposal, right?"
"Oo," walang akong pag-aalinlangan. "Alam kong hindi na maibabalik ang dati. Our working relationship has been tarnished by our personal issues. Kilala ko ang sarili ko at alam kong hindi na ako magiging kumportable na makita, makasama, at makatrabaho ka araw-araw. I know I would no longer grow professionally in your company because of that. Iyon ang dahilan kung bakit ako aalis."
Xaiver wet his lips and heaved a sigh. He eventually backed down and put a little distance between us.
"Fair enough," he whispered, then glanced at the letter again. "Are you sure about this? You sure you won't regret it?"
"I won't."
"Just so you know — the moment I approve of your resignation letter, you won't be able to come back working for me unless you accept my marriage proposal," Xaiver said, almost sounding like a threat. "So for the last time, Miss Bersales, are you sure about quitting?"
Swallowing hard and clenching my fist, I stared into his eyes and nodded. "Yes."
"Your resignation is effective. Immediately," he stated right away. "You don't have to be go to work tomorrow anymore. I'll have the head of the Human Resource deliver your COE, so can you start finding a new job as soon as possible."
My lips parted. Ganoong kabilis? I don't need to render? Bakit parang hindi totoo?
"It's nice working with you, Miss Bersales," Xaiver said as a farewell, taking the letter but leaving the necklace in my hands.