"General Dodonna is going to be so mad about this," Luke hissed as Anakin, entirely unconcerned about this, fired up the controls to the Rebel Alliance-owned spacecraft they were currently "borrowing."
"I'm technically older than him in this timeline, and you know, respect your elders and all." Anakin shrugged.
Obi-Wan sputtered. "Did you, Anakin Skywalker, just use the phrase 'respect your elders' unironically?!"
Anakin once again shrugged as they took off into the air. "It's not like stealing a ship is any more crazy than your idea of overthrowing a galactic Empire that doesn't even exist in the time we're from. Besides, don't you love the idea of all of us going on a long space exploration mission, looking for my evil future self so we can yell at him and convince him to stop being dumb, in a stolen ship?"
"I do not, in fact, love that idea!" Obi-Wan protested. He looked to his older self for help, but older Obi-Wan was stubbornly staying out of it. Then he looked to Leia. "Your daughter seems to care about structure. Leia, should we be stealing this ship?"
"I think this one was stolen anyway." Leia shrugged, and Obi-Wan's jaw went slack. "What?! This is an organization attempting to overthrow the government. Most of what we do is illegal."
"Is anyone else worried about the fact that we're kind of taking off into space right now on Anakin's whim looking for a Sith that we have no idea where he is?"
"On my whim?" Anakin scoffed. "This was your idea, master. I'm just executing it."
"I'm not the most intellectual person on the world," Han interrupted. "But I think we need more of a plan than 'take off into the galaxy and hope we miraculously stumble upon Vader.'"
"I'm running with the plan Obi-Wan gave me," Anakin said.
Obi-Wan shook his head violently. "I gave an idea, Anakin, not a plan! Though I'm really not surprised you don't know the difference."
"Why don't you use the Forcey thing?" Luke asked, waving his hands around in a poor imitation of using the Force. "And like, I don't know, locate Vader somehow?"
"That's not how the Force works," both Obi-Wans said at the same time.
"Actually..." Anakin concentrated for a moment. Sure, it should be impossible, but Vader was literally him. They had possibly the most advanced Force bond anyone could ever possibly have. Reaching out, he looked for a presence anything like himself... but he didn't exactly know what "himself" was like, especially in this time. Then he tried something that was both internal and external, like he was both searching the galaxy and himself at the same time, and...
...he suddenly knew what direction he had to go. "I know where we're going!" Anakin announced.
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. "Oh, really."
"I do!"
"Then where are we going?" Obi-Wan challenged.
Anakin hesitated. "I'm not sure. No, listen! I know what direction to go. I can feel my other presence in the Force, because, well, he's me." Anakin gave Luke a thumbs up. "Thanks for the idea!"
"Why did I let you talk me into getting on this ship," Han grumbled.
"I didn't talk you into it," Obi-Wan defended himself. "I don't even know who you are."
"He's a smuggler," Leia said, watching Han out of the corner of her eye for a reaction. "He was a low-life Luke and Obi-Wan paid to pilot them after meeting him on Tatooine."
"Did you just call me a 'low-life,' princess?"
"I said was . Now he's a hero of the rebellion." But Leia's smug look told Anakin she'd gotten the exact reaction out of Han that she had wanted to get.
"Don't call me a hero, either. Doesn't suit me."
"Then what exactly are you?" Luke wondered.
"I'm the unfortunate idiot who somehow ended up tangled up in Skywalker family drama," he said without hesitation. "Should not have taken this job," he grumbled.
"Then you'd still be a low-life," Leia pointed out smugly.
"Listen, princess–"
"I feel the need to point out that I am not a Skywalker, and therefore am also simply a fellow unfortunate man who ended up tangled in their drama," Obi-Wan said to Han.
"Nah." Anakin shook his head. "You're one of us, Obi-Wan."
"Nope. I am not a Skywalker. Do I care for you and your children? Of course. Am I one of you? No." Obi-Wan shook his head in vehement denial. "No way."
"I mean, older you did say Anakin was like your brother," Luke pointed out. "And if you're brothers, that makes you a Skywalker."
"Oh yeah, apparently you love me like a brother or something?"
Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably. "Well... yes. I do. I know it's unbecoming of a Jedi master–"
"The Jedi way obviously had its flaws," older Obi-Wan interrupted, "or they wouldn't have all been murdered."
"You've really separated yourself from the Jedi that much?" Obi-Wan was incredulous.
"No, he hasn't," Anakin said. "He just says whatever he feels like saying. His story and identity changes every five seconds."
"Hey!" older Obi-Wan shouted indignantly.
"What? It's true. It's not a bad thing, it's exactly how I imagined you would be like when you were old, Mr. Negotiator."
"Hey!" Now it was the younger Obi-Wan's turn to be offended.
"Are we getting closer to where we're going?" Leia interrupted. "Anakin, you said you knew where we were going."
"I said I knew what direction," Anakin corrected.
"No, you said you knew where we were going," Obi-Wan said. "But when I challenged you to tell me where it was, you changed your story, as you have accused my older self of doing. So if we're going to get technical here–"
"If you're waiting for me to admit that you're right, it's a waste of time," Anakin muttered. "And to answer your question, Leia, yes we are getting closer, but I think we still have a ways to go."
"Oh no. Exactly how long am I going to be stuck listening to the pointless banter in here?" Han complained.
"I don't know exactly how long," Anakin said, oblivious to Han's pain. "But it's gonna be a while. Strap in!"
Han groaned.
—
"It's that planet!" Anakin suddenly exclaimed.
"FINALLY!" Han shouted. "Luke, you can put the lightsaber down, we're here."
Luke, who had been swinging a lightsaber at Obi-Wan in an attempt to see if he would reflexively block it with his own (and constantly being disappointed when Obi-Wan simply dodged, a bored expression on his face) deactivated his weapon - or, rather, the future copy of Anakin's weapon.
"What planet is that?" Leia wondered.
"Vaal," the Obi-Wan's both said at once. They gave each other a bewildered look before younger Obi-Wan continued. "I've heard of it before. It's mostly a desert."
Anakin groaned. "Does that mean sand?"
"I do not believe it is a sandy desert," Obi-Wan corrected. "It's really more like... plains."
"Oh, thank the Force." Anakin considered it for a moment. "Actually, it makes perfect sense. Even if I was spinning out in to space, I would never let myself crash on a planet covered in sand. I wouldn't allow it."
"I must have inherited my dislike for sand from you," Luke realized. "Or maybe it's just cause we're both from Tatooine, where the sand is so coarse–"
Anakin's eyes lit up. "And rough–"
"And irritating–"
"And it gets everywhere!" They finished together.
Anakin smiled warmly. "I knew I was proud of you, son."
"You think you can track yourself enough to pinpoint Vader's exact location, or do you just know that he's generally somewhere on this planet?"
"We'll find out!" Anakin said cheerily as he prepared the ship to enter the atmosphere of the planet.