"darlin' i'd wait for you
even if you didn't ask me to...
and i'd bottle the feeling you give me
and shelve that stuff for years to come"
•••
season two, episode thirteen
lorelai, rory, and emilia are inside doose's market looking for baskets.
"so i've decided i'm saving myself for william holden." lorelai tells the two teenagers standing next to her.
"wow, it's nice out here in left field." rory jokes.
"hey, i'm sorry. sunset boulevard was on last night, and i don't know i've known him for years sabrina, stalag 17 and yet last night something snapped." lorelai jokes back.
"i'll say." rory mumbles.
"i think it was the monkey scene." lorelai tells the two girls.
"you know he's dead, don't you?" rory asks her mother.
"the monkey?" lorelai asks.
"william holden!" rory says.
"ugh, every great relationship has its obstacles. you'd know that if you weren't dating andy hardy." lorelai complains.
"this one?" rory asks.
"hm, no." lorelai responds.
"why?" rory asks.
"it's too big, it raises expectations." emilia says as she looks at the basket in her best friend's hand.
"like there's actually a home-cooked lunch in there?" rory asks.
"instead of whatever is leftover in our refrigerator - exactly." lorelei confirms.
"okay, going back on the pile now." rory asks as she puts the basket back
"oh, it's quaint, isn't it? the women get to make a nice lunch basket, the men get to bid on it, and the world rotates backwards on its axis." lorelai rants.
"i think it's fun." rory tells her mother.
"that's because you have a pretty boy to bid on your basket." lorelai teases her.
"yes i do." rory says proudly.
"did you tell him to eat lunch first?" emilia teases her best friend.
"hi, i love him, of course. hey, i'm gonna look in the back." rory tells the two and books it over to her boyfriend who is conveniently standing right next to the baskets.
"all right, i'll hit the front." emilia says as she walks up front "hey miss patty. shopping for baskets?"
"oh please, i bought my basket weeks ago."
"always prepared."
"listen darling, do you happen to have change for a dollar?"
"i think so." emilia tells the older woman as she digs around in her wallet.
"i don't know where my quarters go."
"here you go." emilia says as she hands patty the change.
"oh, thank you so...ugh!" patty drops something out of her wallet.
"i got it." emilia says as she bends down to pick it up.
"oh no, no, that's okay." patty tells her.
"this is a picture of me." emilia says as she looks at the small photo in her hand.
"it is?" patty asks, pretending to be clueless.
"yeah. why do you have a picture of me in your wallet?" emilia questions miss patty.
"oh, uh, well, it's a very nice picture." miss patty days to the girl.
"thank you. why do you have a very nice picture of me in your wallet?" emilia asks again.
"i'm a stalker?" miss patty says hesitantly.
"or?"
"or when, in my daily travels, i run across a friend who's son happens to be single..." miss patty reveals.
"oh god!" emilia exclaims.
"i like to have a visual aid to help me with the wonderful buildup i give you." miss patty quickly says.
"miss patty, i appreciate the gesture but i don't need you to try to set me up."
"you're such a beautiful girl and you deserve a nice boy."
"i'll have a nice boy, but let me find him, okay?"
"but you're no good at finding him."
"patty."
"oh, all right."
"thank you. i'll keep this if you don't mind."
"stubborn girl." miss patty says while shaking her head the departing girl.
•••
the day of the fundraiser, lorelai, rory, and emilia walk down the street with their baskets.
"you know what's wonderful about this festival?" lorelai asks the two girls.
"no, what?" rory asks.
"that it always falls on the day after trash day. therefore, all the stuff that you forgot to throw out that you would normally be stuck with for another whole week, you can instead put in a pretty basket and auction off for charity." lorelai tells the two girls.
"that is wonderful." emilia tells the older woman as lane runs up behind them.
"okay, i've got it all worked out." lane tells the group of women, very out of breath.
"tell please." rory says to her best friend.
"well, i invited my cousin david to come and bid on my basket, you know, to keep my mother happy."
"uh huh." the three girls say in unison.
"then when he gets it, we tell my mom we're gonna go eat over at the park where henry's gonna call on the pay phone at exactly two o'clock for the all is clear' sigh. then david, with the twenty bucks i give him, will disappear, henry will arrive, and we'll finally have out first official date." lane continues.
"my head is spinning." lorelai tells the hyper teenager.
"stash this at miss patty's for me, okay?" lane asks rory.
"don't you need this for david to bid on?" rory asks her best friend.
"oh no, my mom packed that one. you know, homemade granola, wheat grass juice, soy chicken taco." lane explains as the other three girls look at her in disgust.
"suddenly our lunches are looking pretty good." lorelai quips.
"this is the henry basket. i went by gianelli's and stopped in and picked up a couple of meatball heroes and some chips. i also packed a change of clothes, makeup, makeup remover, and three temporary tattoos." lane explains to them proudly.
"sure, cause four would be trashy." emilia says to the hyper girl.
"i gotta go. i gotta sneak back into my house. oh, i'm so excited!" lane leaves and the girls continue on walking.
"ah man. i remember the days of lying to my mother about a boy. once i had a boy hidden in the closet and of course mom wouldn't leave, so i finally had to pretend to get sick to my stomach just to get her out of the room long enough for him to climb out the window and down the tree. he fell, broke his leg. ah, to be young again." lorelai reminisces as they walk down the street.
•••
a crowd is gathered in front of the gazebo filled with baskets. taylor stands at a podium in front as the auctioneer.
"sold for fifteen dollars to the man in the yellow. thank you very much. now the next basket i have here is a lovely green wicker number that would be a charming addition to any room once the lunch is gone. let's start the bidding at five dollars. do i hear five?"
"five dollars." david, lane's cousin bids.
"okay, i have five dollars. do i hear ten?" taylor asks the crowd.
"ten dollars." kirk bids but mrs. kim glares at him. "withdrawn."
"okay, i'm still at five, do i hear ten? five going once, five going twice, sold to the young man for five dollars. you know what's nice, you can put a couple of extra rolls of toilet paper in there and stick it someplace in the bathroom decorative and convenient. next up why, that looks like a doose's market basket. nice, huh?"
"ooh, that's mine." emilia says to the random woman standing next to her.
"i'd like to start the bidding at five dollars." taylor announces.
"i bid five dollars." a guy calls out (guy #1).
"whoa, that was quick." emilia says confused.
"ten dollars." guy #2 bids.
"do they know that all that's in there is two pieces of week old pizza and a stale pop tart?"
"fifteen dollars." says guy #3.
"he looks familiar." emilia says to herself confused.
"twenty dollars." says guy #1.
"twenty dollars." taylor repeats.
"so does he." emilia says very confused now.
"twenty-five." guy #2 bids.
"this is going very well gentlemen, keep it up." taylor comments.
"oh no." emilia suddenly gasps and walks over to miss patty. "those are the guys, aren't they?"
"excuse me?" miss patty asks, feigning confusion.
"the guys whose pictures you sent me - you brought them here! you're setting me up!" emilia exclaims.
"well darling, you can't be trusted to do it yourself." patty tells the young girl.
"oh geez, oh geez!" emilia groans and quickly tries to come up with a way to get out of this.
"thirty-five." guy #2 bids.
"that one plays french horn." patty tells her as she points to the very nerdy looking teenage boy.
"ugh!" emilia groans again and runs away towards the diner.
emilia bursts through the door of the diner not remotely caring if she is interrupting people's meals.
"jess! where is he, where is he? i need him! luke, where is - agh, agh, thank god. hey, hey, you gotta come with me." emilia frantically
says as she finally finds jess as he walks out of the kitchen with a rag and cleaning spray.
"what are you doing? i'm cleaning the counter here." jess asks the frantic girl who is currently trying to drag him out of the door.
"put the rag down. sorry luke, i'll bring him back i promise." emilia promises as she follows jess around the diner while he tries to get away from her.
"gallagher, just wait a minute here." jess tries to stop her.
"do you have money? i need money. give me your wallet." emilia asks trying to grab for his wallet that's sticking out of his back pocket.
"stop doing that. i'm not giving you my wallet." jess scolds the practically manic girl.
"jess, you gotta come out there with me. patty gave my picture out to all these teenage boys because she thinks i need a boyfriend." emilia begs jess hoping that at least one thing she says in the next minute will get him to buy her basket and save her from hell.
"you do, one with a nice couch and a deep knowledge of freud." jess quips.
"you have to come out and bid on my basket." emilia states.
"you're cracked." jess looks at her like she's crazy.
"i know but i'm desperate." emilia agrees but is willing to do anything to get him to go with her outside.
"i haven't yet in my life taken part in one of these crazy group flip outs. i'm not about to start now." jess complains.
"but-, right now-, out there, the-" emilia tries to say.
"just buy your own basket." jess tells her.
"i cannot buy my own basket." emilia rebutted.
"why not?" jess asks.
"because that is pathetic." emilia tells him like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"and chasing me around the diner begging me to buy your basket?" jess rhetorically asks.
"also pathetic. but that is a pathetic i can live with, where that pathetic is a truly pathetic pathetic, and only you can save me from the double pathetic! please!" emilia begs him.
"i can't believe i'm doing this." jess groans and throws his apron off.
"ha ha! hurry up. hurry up!" emilia yells out in celebration.
emilia rushes him out the door and the pair walk up to the crowd.
"forty-five fifty." guy #1 bids.
"forty-six." guy #2 bids.
"forty-six fifty." guy #3 bids.
"forty-seven." guy #1 bids again.
"go, go on." emilia gestures to jess to hurry up already.
"forty-seven dollars, are you kidding?" jess turns towards emilia in disbelief.
"jess!" emilia yells at the funny funny boy.
"forty-seven fifty!" guy #2 bids.
"for what? two pieces of week old pizza and a stale pop tart?" jess asks the girl semi-sarcastically.
"okay, you're not getting the whole saving me here thing, are you?" emilia rolls her eyes at the boy.
"fine. forty-eight." jess finally gives in and starts bidding as well.
"forty-eight fifty." guy #1 bids.
"forty-nine." jess bids.
"forty-nine fifty." guy #2 bids.
"uh, fifty-two fifty." jess bids as he looks at all the cash in his wallet.
"what? we're just supposed to go to fifty." guy #1 complains.
"i have a life." jess complains to the desperate girl.
"no you don't. fifty-two fifty going once!" emilia yells towards taylor.
"hey, hey, that's my job! fifty-two fifty going once, fifty-two fifty going twice..." taylor starts calling the final bid.
"oh, please god." emilia mutters under her breath.
"sold for fifty-two fifty to the nice young hoodlum in the back for ninety dollars." taylor digs at j ess.
"yes! ha, ha, sorry guys, don't feel bad. i'm totally into dungeons and dragons. you've skated." emilia mocks the 3 teenage boys that look slightly upset at not getting to have lunch with her.
"and that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes the basket bidding for today. victors come claim your prizes and your dates. let the lunching begin!" taylor announces.
"you rock! thank you." emilia says as she turns to jess.
"you're welcome. so what do we do now?" jess asks the now much more calm girl.
"i guess we eat." emilia responds.
"this?" jess asks with disgust clear on his face.
"yeah." emilia tells him and stares him
down almost daring him to say otherwise.
"first i have to buy it, then i have to eat it?" jess complains.
"hey, the basket of botulism does come with my company." emilia tells the grumpy boy.
"huh. you don't eat with your mouth open do you?" jess quips.
"women don't eat at all. we just look at food and jump on the treadmill." emilia quips back.
"all right, let's go." jess says as he leads them towards the bridge.
•••
"ten." emilia confirms.
"ten?" jess asks in disbelief.
"yeah but i didn't understand a word of it, so i had to reread it when i was fifteen." emilia tells the slightly star struck boy.
"i've yet to make it through it." jess admits.
"really? try it. the fountainhead is classic." emilia encourages.
"yeah, but ayn rand is a political nut." jess counters.
"yeah, but nobody could write a forty page monologue the way that she could." emilia points out.
"okay, tomorrow i will try again, and you will..." jess trails off.
"give the painful ernest hemingway another chance. yes, i promise." emilia finishes his sentence for him with a little resistance.
"you know, ernest only has lovely things to say about you." jess quips to emilia looking to see if he would get a reaction from her.
"why did you help me?" emilia asks all of a sudden after a slightly awkward beat of silence.
"excuse me?" jess asks not expecting that to come out of her mouth.
"you could've said no. you could've let me suffer with one of those stupid boys that patty found for me. so why? what did you do it?" emilia asks.
"i have no idea what you're talking about." jess scoffs.
"you're so annoying." emilia rolls her eyes.
"okay, i'm officially starving." jess says after a beat of silence not wanting to admit his reasons.
"and officially evasive." emilia quips.
"come on, i'll get you a pizza." jess tells the girl, trying to leave.
"answer my question." emilia demands.
"do you like pepperoni?" jess asks, trying to be avoidant.
"not going to, are you?" emilia smirks as jess avoids her question.
"we can just get it on half if you want." jess says secretly wanting to spend more time with the teenage girl.
"okay, i give, let's go." emilia finally gives in being starving and secretly wanting to spend more time with the trouble maker.
"if you insist." jess says cheekily.
•••
lorelai is sitting on the couch as emilia walks in the front door.
"lorelai?"
"oh, hey. where've you been? i thought taylor auctioned you off to the highest bidder."
"no, i just went to get some pizza and i, uh, wandered around the bookstore for a little while. here." emilia hands her a book.
"what's this?"
"you said you wanted to read the children's hour and i was at the bookstore."
"i did?"
"the other night when we were watching julia, and jane fonda was playing lillian hellman."
"oh yeah, and i made the hellmann's mayonnaise joke." lorelai says but she's still a little shocked.
"which no one ever needs to hear again."
"right, right. well, thanks." lorelai says in a weird tone.
"you're welcome." emilia responds.
"so who were you with?" lorelai asks all of a sudden.
"what?" emilia asks confused about the sudden change of subject.
"pizza, book buying- did you have company?" lorelai asks, very clearly trying to get information out of her.
"oh, yeah." emilia responds.
"who?" lorelai asks as if she doesn't even know.
"jess." emilia responds.
"jess?" lorelai asks.
"yeah." emilia confirms.
"right." lorelai awkwardly says.
"so, i'll be in rory's room." emilia tells rory so she can put her new books away.
"okay, good." lorelai responds.
lorelai follows emilia into rory's room.
"so how was the picnic?" lorelai asks the happy girl.
"it was good. we just talked."
"so, how was it with jess?" lorelai innocently asks.
"fine." emilia says suspicious of what lorelai is trying to get out of her.
"well obviously, the pizza and the books. so good, that's...i'm glad." lorelai rants awkwardly.
"what?" emilia asks.
"what what?" lorelai looks startled.
"well, you look like you have something to say." emilia points out.
"i have nothing to say. i never have anything to say." lorelai rants sounding somewhat guilty.
"yes, that is your reputation." emilia jokes.
"it's...i don't know. i'm just surprised that you're hanging out with him away from work, that's all." lorelai admits.
"why?" emilia asks lorelai confused.
"he doesn't seem like the nicest kid." lorelai tried to warn the teenager.
"well, you don't know him." emilia insists.
"no, i guess not." lorelai hesitantly agrees.
"you're just judging him by what they said at the town meeting." emilia accuses.
"which, by the way, was not a rousing success." lorelai says matter of factly.
"he had just moved here. he was mad at his mom. trust me, he's got a really good side to him. you'll see it eventually." emilia tells the woman, still happy from the day that they spent together.
"good, i can't wait." lorelai says somewhat sarcastically.
"lorelai." emilia says in a flat tone.
"no, well, i'm sorry. it's...i just, uh, i don't know. from the things i've seen and the things i hear..." lorelai trails off.
"like what things?" emilia asks, getting slightly defensive on jess' behalf.
"the vandalism, the stealing, the cutting school, the fighting." lorelai lists off.
"how do you know about the fighting?" emilia asks curiously.
"well, dean mentioned it to rory and i heard them talking." lorelai admits to emilia.
"dean? and rory?" emilia asks to clarify.
"yes." lorelai confirms.
"you've been eavesdropping on dean and rory?" emilia asks, not believing what she was hearing.
"no, well yes, but no because they knew i was in the vicinity." lorelai says while tripping over her words.
"when did this happen?" emilia questions.
"a couple days ago. i think they were both just a little worried he would drag you down with him." lorelai informs the girl.
"well they could've talked to me." emilia says with a 'duh' expression.
"no, they couldn't cause you've been so happy with jess." lorelai corrects her.
"you're taking their side?" emilia asks in disbelief.
"i'm not taking sides here, okay? i'm swiss, babe. this is about dean and rory being concerned that you're hanging out with someone who can get you hurt." lorelai says trying to keep the young girl calm.
"how could jess get me hurt?" emilia asks as she throws her hands up.
"i don't know, hon. in the short amount of time he's been here, he's managed to make a lot of enemies." lorelai softly tells the young girl.
"i'm sorry, when did i move to salem?" emilia asks.
"people are concerned about you, you know? you're young and already gotten in some trouble. i'm concerned about you."
"so you're saying that jess is no good?" emilia rhetorically asks, starting to get a little upset.
"i've known guys like jess. he seems cool because he's got this dangerous vibe and this problem with authority and he's seen a lot of sylvester stallone movies."
"oh my god." emilia groans, knowing where this conversation is going.
"but guys like this get into trouble which, if you hang out with them, gets you into trouble and i don't want you to get into trouble." lorelai continues.
"i mean, we got pizza, we looked at some books. god, i can't even believe that i'm having this conversation with you. i mean, with you of all people. i mean...i don't even want to talk about this anymore." emilia rants to the older gilmore girl.
"emilia." lorelai calls out to her.
"no, i'm going for a walk." emilia tells her and heads for the back door.
"uh, rory and dean are going to be here any minute." lorelai tells the angry girl.
"well, they probably want to talk to you anyhow."
emilia, coat slung over her arm, slams the door and leaves a slightly upset lorelai standing in the kitchen.
•••
emilia takes the phone outside on the porch and dials a number.
"hello?" jess says sounding bored as he answers the phone.
"hi." emilia answers after a second of silence.
"hi." jess perks up as he replies to the girl.
"what are you doing?" emilia hesitantly asks him.
"nothing, you?" jess asks.
"nothing." emilia answers.
"why'd you call?" jess asks the oddly silent girl.
"i wanted to. my hand didn't just slip, dipshit." emilia says once she gets over the shock of him actually answering the phone.
"well, i'm glad you called." jess says after laughing.
"yeah?" emilia asks the boy with a smile on her face.
"yeah." jess replies with a smile as well, not he'll ever let her know.
"why?" emilia teasingly asks the boy.
"because maybe you can explain what the hell this crazy woman is talking about." jess exasperatedly tells the girl.
"ah, the fountainhead." emilia realizes.
"yes. your fault, and you will pay." jess tells her.
"i promise. commit to it one more time and if it still is awful for you, i will make it up to you." emilia promises him.
"oh yeah?" jess asks her.
"yeah." emilia confirms.
"okay. i'm gonna hold you to that." jess tells her and they continue their phone call.