hello my lovelies,
I hope you had a great day today and if not, I promise you there will be better times.
Have fun reading and always remember that you are amazing and enough.
Please don't forget to vote and comment, it means a lot!
Please, think before spreading hate. Your words could break a person.
I love you, bye.
I sit down on the chair in front of his desk and spin it around to look at him. He is placed on the king-sized bed, leaning back on his stretched-out hands. The expensive fabric of his suit pants matches so well with the dark blue satin blanket, which is covering the actual sheets. The rest of the room is as elegant but I don't think I have seen anything more minimalistic.
And not in the way you would think. I am not talking about it looking less expensive but rather just empty. Like nobody would live in here. It feels like being in a hotel for the first time and not a room where a person actually sleeps. Not a place someone would normally call home.
The colors, the bedside table, the carpet.
Everything seems so inanimate and clean.
My eyes narrow in at the huge showcase that stretches over the entire wall on one side.
Behind the glass, there must be hundreds of books but I can't see the titles because they are turned around on the bookshelves.
The spine is not visible which leads to me not even having a single color besides the little navy and gray shades, before my eyes.
"Are you kidding me? You are shaming me for my book taste but are too much of a fucking baby, you have to hide what you are reading?"
"Your book taste, huh? So I was right. You are only reading about your lovey-dovey book boyfriends because you can't get a man in real life." He mocks me, with a pout on his lips.
He is trying not to laugh. My fists clench together as I try to bury the want, to throw a book at him, deep inside me. Not that I would do this, as for a book enthusiast like me, that would be a mortal sin.
And that was a lie because I must admit I have done it many many times but in my defense, it needed to be done.
"Of course, I have to read about a good man if I haven't met one that is good enough for me in real life. I don't think that's embarrassing for me, but for men, considering how many women have to go back to novels, just to believe in love and good sex." I reply, leaning forward, leaning my head on my hands as I steady my elbows on my thighs.
I look up at him with a glare and a little smirk playing on my lips.
"Touché. Men are pretty much trash and I am thankful every day that I am blessed by being into women. But... that doesn't change the fact that what you are reading, is not true literature."
"Mhm..if you say so." I study his face as if I would try to get to know him by just looking at him.
But I already figured him out.
"I don't believe a fucking word that is coming out of your mouth. I would bet my life on the fact that behind this glass, are at least half of the books a part of the romance genre. And if they aren't I can tell you that you are missing out on so much fun.
Because you would enjoy every single minute of reading my recommendations and a snarl on your face or insults could never convince me otherwise." I finally breathe out, my voice teasing him.
He doesn't say anything but the twitch of the corner of his mouth is telling me enough.
„So, back to the project. I think we should make for each of the kids something like a mind board about them so we can plan the next meetings better. And also put down things we could learn from them and the other way around." I then switch the topic as I take the college block and lay it on the desk to open it.
"Do you have a pen?" I add as I release, as always, I don't have one on me.
When he doesn't answer I look back at him but he isn't on the bed like before. Instead, the drawer across from me is open and he takes out something that looks like a folder.
Without saying anything he comes to me and lets the folder smash against the glass desk with one brutal thud. I look at it and my eyes narrow down to the names on it.
"What the hell is that?"
"Everything we need to know about them. The woman who leads the project at Darwin gave us them so we know where we have to be careful when we talk to them. We don't have to make a list about anything. There is probably more information about them in there than they know themselves." He casually says as he towers over me.
His hands are in his suit pockets, his gaze on mine.
"Are you serious? This is a file about their lives. I am the last person who is on the side of the law but this can't be legal. What's with their privacy?"
"I wouldn't have asked for them they just gave it to me so I assume this must be ok for them. What organization would that be if they didn't care for the children they are supposed to protect? This is an elite program to give kids a chance and we have the opportunity to learn from them, and they from us. There is nothing wrong with that."
"The idea is good but this won't help with shit. We know enough about them to get that it won't be easy. Elias doesn't give a single fuck about it and just doesn't want to do it. And Valeria? She is intimidated. They get picked up by strangers to answer stupid questions and waste hours of their day so we can figure them out. They feel like projects."
"Who cares?" He just replies, shrugging his shoulders and I frown at him.
"I care," I reply as he tries to avoid my gaze but as he realizes I am dead- serious he exhales deeply.
"Ok let me tell you something about this... arrangement. We will spend time with them, talk to them if it's a necessity, and then we will write essays and whatever else we have to do to get our grades. And I will make sure that they will get anything they want in that time.
If they want a phone, that's what they will get. If a shopping trip is what they need to let me work in peace, amazing. They will get whatever they desire but I don't need anyone whining about feeling like a project. We are not forcing them to do shit and if a little file about them makes the project go smoother, we will look over it. It's an easy deal."
"And honestly, what's so bad about being a project?"
"You nearly convinced me during the first part but dude, did you fuck up. Have you heard that last sentence? You are talking bullshit."
We look into each other's eyes and after a moment of him not replying I raise an eyebrow in question at him.
"Nothing to say, huh?"
Before I can say anything else he grabs with one arm the side of the chair next to my thigh and pulls the entire thing towards him.
I am so close and the space gets only smaller when he lets himself fall on the bed again.
"Come on, Ally. We are all projects. Tell me, if I take you to a gym, help you work on your body, make training plans for you and think about how I could bring you the results you want, would you feel bad because you are a project to me? We are all somebody's projects and that's not an insult. Just a way of society trying to bring the best out of its members." He explains as his eyes never leave mine. He is so near his minty breath from the bubble gum he started jewing in the car, causing goosebumps to arise on my skin. The warmth of his body sends me comfort, the same feeling I felt weeks before on the rooftop. How can someone who says mean things and is a total arrogant prick, can radiate such positive energy to me?
My chest is rising and I feel almost stupid for trying to slow down my breathing so he won't notice. He can't notice.
I poke my index finger into his chest and then push me back to the place I was before, bringing distance between us.
"Wow, that was really, really moving. I don't know how I could possibly live a normal life after that. Everyone is just a project. That sounds disastrous." I play devastated.
He rolls his eyes but then his expression goes back to his emotionless outside. A blank exterior.
"But let me tell you something. You could never train me. The other way around, yes and I maybe look like I couldn't lift a feather but I am way stronger than you think. You wouldn't be able to handle me." I straighten myself on the chair, talking to him in a dead-serious tone.
"I don't doubt your strength, in your head. And before you come with sexism, I have seen women training more determined than most men or fighting better than I have ever seen but you are not one of them. No shame in that, just saying that I could help you with that."
"Mhm. So, you do want to spend time with me, interesting. What do you want to do with me there? Boxing? Trying out MMA? I really hope that my hands won't look as bad as yours afterward." I study his face with a slight grin on my face, wanting to see his reaction.
Yes, I have seen the little bruising. The redness and the thin lines of scars. I wanted him to give me something, just something, but nothing.
He keeps his calm and collected mask as he ignores my remark.
"I think a doctor should look at them but that is not the only part of your body you should get checked out by an expert. But wait, I think I can help you with that..." I start as I spin around my chair so I can rip out a little piece of paper on my college block.
This time I see the pen laying on the table and take it to write it down before I hand it to Kaden.
"Here. My therapist's number. I think it's a better path to deal with your anger issues that way than to beat people up."
"I am not beating people up."
"Oh, so they beat you up?"
He smirks at me and then takes the paper and puts it on the inside of his suit. I can't help but smile as I remember how I took his cigarette away from him as I can see the package flashing.
Then I gulp as once again my words come flooding back into my brain.
Alcohol was never and will never be a good idea.
We all know it and still, we crave the burning liquid on our tongues.
"Great, that I have your therapist's contacts now. I can't wait to find out your darkest secrets."
I huff out.
"What can I say, I have told you everything. No more secrets but it's always a great day to thank the creator of confidentiality."
"You have to learn so much, still. Everyone has their price and every living breathing being can be bribed. Every. Single. One." He whispers the last sentence mockingly.
"You hurt someone, so that would be a criminal offense and not a slight one and now you want to break the law again. You will be a great role model for those kids. They will be perfectly integrated into society when they are behind bars."
"First, as I said before, I didn't hurt anyone, you have to listen more carefully, Ally. I have neurodermatitis and the dry skin is the reason for my redness. You are interpreting way too much in the situation. And secondly, if we are being honest, you wouldn't care. You said it yourself only minutes before. You aren't the biggest fan of the law and your mother is a judge, right?"
He knows the answer to that.
Why has he such a good memory, it is frustrating beyond measure.
"A woman of law and rules with a daughter who I bet my life on likes violence and the risk of getting caught." He tsks.
"You are talking... absolute bullshit. I don't like violence and I don't want to commit any crime as long as I don't think it's absolutely necessary."
"But you don't want to be your mother." He says and he fixates my eyes with his strong look that keeps me drawn to his face.
I decide to not answer this question, I won't let a stranger be right.
Certainly, not a man who insulted me and has an ego of immense size.
I take the college block again and look back at Kaden who is still sitting on the bed, his eyes glued to me, hands casually in his pockets.
"Let's talk about the project, so I can get the hell out of here."
Twenty minutes later everything was clear.
"Isn't it crazy that you could do that, alone... I mean, was that your first time without mommy or your secretary?" I tease him as I put on my leather jacket again.
"Yeah, but it's common knowledge that the first time is bad and I didn't really expect anything better when it is with a girl as gentle and lovely as you are." His expression was completely blank but the teasing tone couldn't be more clear.
How is it possible that his expressions never match his voice and feelings?
I roll my eyes and stand up from the chair.
"I will go now, don't worry, I can find the way out by myself."
I walk to the door without waiting for his reaction.
"If I was you, I would be on my best behavior. Tomorrow you will be far above solid ground, and who knows if I don't have to save your life. Wouldn't want to let you fall, Ally."