Great. That feeling of loneliness is crawling up yet again, and the only thing that can help it is physical interaction.
But WHOOP DIE FUKING DOO, I have NO irl friends, and no one in my house wants to talk to me! I'M always the one initiating a conversation. And even then, it's mostly one-sided because almost all responses I get are "Hmms" and "Huh's"
It's almost like I stayed dead after my accident and I'm in some fuking Hell or something.
I haven't had IRL friends in 9 or 10 years now. It's gotten to a point where even talking t people on here doesn't help.
And no one wants to make the effort to talk to me here. My parents now can't even bother coming up to my room to tell me I need to babysit. All I get is a quick text. That's it. Not even my own fuking parents can put in the small effort to come to my room to tell me to deal with their kids.
Even then, it's getting fewer for even that. Even for dinner.
It's gotten to a point where if my body is feeling weird or if I have a panic attack and fearing "Oh crap, I'm dying" because my parents can't even bother to get me checked for anxiety or something, I go sleep in the living room because at least that way, if something DOES happen to me, my parents will fuking know in the morning instead of thinking a week or two later how they haven't seen me come out in a while.
Really, I should fuking test how long I can go hiding in my room, only coming out when I know no one can say "I saw her an hour ago", and see how long it takes for them to fuking check up on me. Because this is bs.
They always want me to come down there, but the effort is apparently a one-way street.
And like I WANT to be around a bunch of toddlers watching YT Kids gaming videos.
I'm lonely and I'm sick of it. Sometimes I even wonder why I'm around. The only reason I haven't done anything drastic is because I'm scared there's nothing on the other side, or my spirit will be stuck in this creepy af house and alone when everyone moves out.
I miss being a happy little girl. Where my biggest secret was my crush on my friend. When I had my favorite doll. When my dad came home from work with a little metal box he welded for me.
Now I'm older and the world is crap. And I have no one to physically be around. My parents hardly ever come out of their room.
I wish I had friends in person. I care about the ones on here, but I need physical human interaction. You can't get another humans physical energies through a screen.