"Mermaid?"
Mark's voice startled Mermaid. She'd stopped to take a break and her mind had wandered off again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he quickly apologized. "Are you okay?" She nodded.
"You've been working yourself far too hard. You've been here all morning."
"I want to work."
"Would you like to take a break?"
She shook her head and went to saddle up a horse.
"Mermaid?" he called after her. "Mermaid, you shouldn't be riding off alone." She mounted herself onto the horse and rode off.
*
Holly was in the study when Mark walked in. He looked concerned, which immediately caught her attention. "What's wrong?"
"It's probably nothing, but Mermaid's acting a little odd. She just rode off, and I'm a bit worried about her."
Holly had noticed the odd behavior as well. "Where did she go?" she asked as she headed for the door.
"I don't know. She just took off."
It took Holly almost an hour to find Mermaid. The area was usually deserted, and had been one of Holly's favorite places to go while growing up because of the lake. Mermaid was seated near the lake, staring blankly in the distance.
"Mermaid?" Holly called after her but she did not respond. She left her horse near Mermaid's and walked over to her. "I've been looking for you," she said as she approached her.
Mermaid looked up at her and seemed almost surprised to see her. She got up and smiled at her. "I'm sorry," she said, reaching for Holly's hand.
There was something different in her eyes as she said the words that Holly didn't recognize.
Mermaid looked away and let go of Holly's hand. "It's so hot," she said, then surprised Holly when she started unbuttoning her shirt.
"What are you doing?"
Mermaid smiled at her and threw her shirt to the ground. She reached for the belt, unbuckled it and then unzipped her pants. After removing her boots, she eased the pants off her feet and headed towards the water.
"I want to take a swim." She removed her bra and eased down her underwear, tossing them over the heap of clothes.
"Mermaid, there are workers in these fields," Holly said, shocked by her behavior but unusually aroused as Mermaid got into the lake.
"I don't see anyone." She completely submersed herself under the water.
"They could come by at any moment," Holly said, but she doubted Mermaid heard her.
"The water is wonderful, come join me," Mermaid said as she swam towards the deeper part of the lake.
For a woman who had drowning nightmares, she certainly knew how to swim.
"Mermaid, come on, stop playing," Holly said as Mermaid swam further.
"Join me or I'll keep going," Mermaid said, submersing herself under the water for longer than Holly could handle.
It had been years since she'd gone skinny dipping in that lake. She couldn't believe she was about to do it again as she started to undress.
Mermaid stopped and lustfully watched her. "Everything," she said when Holly started walking towards the water in her bra and panties.
"But—."
Mermaid shook her head.
She realized she had no choice and did as Mermaid wanted. When she was completely naked, she got into the water, enjoying the cooling effect it had on her.
"It's lovely, isn't it?" Mermaid asked as she started swimming towards her.
"It is, can we go now?" Holly asked.
Mermaid giggled as she went and wrapped her arms around her neck, holding her close so that their bodies were sliding against each other from the lubricating effect of the water.
Mermaid kissed her, expressing more passion than Holly was prepared for, which instantly aroused her. She broke the kiss and started laying soft kisses along Holly's neck, down to her chest as her hands cupped Holly's breasts.
"Have you ever had sex in this lake before?" Mermaid asked her before she closed her warm moist mouth over her breast. "Have you?"
Holly unsuccessfully struggled to control the sensations traveling through her body. "No," she breathed.
Mermaid covered her other breast with her mouth, teasing the soft bud with her tongue while she motionlessly moved Holly to the rocky shore. With their lower bodies submerged under water, Mermaid cautiously rested Holly's back over the ground.
Trying not to strain Holly's back with her weight, she supported herself on her arms as she used her mouth to please Holly, kissing the curve along her waist. When she got to the navel, she teased it with the tip of her tongue and Holly groaned softly under her.
Her eyes were closed as she enjoyed the thrilling effect Mermaid had on her but as she did, it felt wonderfully different. Maybe it was because they were outdoors surrounded by nature. Maybe it was because Mermaid was effortlessly exercising the power she yielded, Holly didn't know, but she writhed in pleasure under the woman she loved.
Mermaid parted her legs, letting the effect of the cool water tease her as she ran her fingers over the outline of her womanhood. She placed a light kiss over her clitoris, tasting the water on the smooth flesh and Holly squirmed at the effect.
Mermaid watched her face as she intimately touched her in the manner only she knew how and Holly moaned, which seemed to excite Mermaid. She leaned forward and kissed her again, this time deeper and slower as she arched her head back, trying to keep her nose above the water.
She buried her head in her, pleasing Holly to the point of destruction as uncontrollable moans escaped her lips. Seized by tremors of exhilaration, Holly shuddered in orgasmic bliss.
When Holly's heartbeat resumed normal pace, Mermaid got back into the lake and pulled Holly along with her. She held her close, so close it felt like they were an extension of each other.
She turned Holly around so that her back was intimately pressed against her front and laid soft light kisses over her shoulders, trailing her hands over her breasts and gently caressing them.
Holly found herself turned on all over again as Mermaid continued raining kisses all over her back. She moved her hands along Holly's hips and parted Holly's legs. She ran her fingers over her inner thighs and Holly took in a ragged breath when she paused at her womanhood.
Mermaid gently slid in and applied soft gentle thrusts, and Holly released a moan as sensation after sensation started taking over her body again. With her mind crippled and her body experiencing pleasure she'd never known existed, Holly leaned back against Mermaid and let go, letting the pleasure fully consume her.
It wasn't long before she trembled in another mind-blowing orgasm. Mermaid was an incredibly gentle and possessive lover and until then, it hadn't occurred to Holly just how much of herself she'd offered Mermaid.
When she trusted herself enough to move, she turned around and clung onto Mermaid. A while later, when they had a bit of their strength back, they got out of the lake and started dressing up. When they were done, they sat beside each other to rest and silently enjoyed each other's company.
*
"I can't believe how grown up you are. Look at her Shawn, isn't she beautiful?" Duncan said in praise of his eighteen year old daughter.
"She's stunning," Shawn said.
"You're no longer a kid," Duncan said.
"You say that as though it's a bad thing," Allie said, massively pleased because she was finally out of boarding school.
"We're going to have dinner tonight and you're going to tell me which colleges you applied to."
She expected him to express a bit of interest in her life since they had been apart for long spans of time but was disappointed when he started talking about school again as though she intended to spend her entire life learning.
"Sure," she feigned excitement as she walked out of his office. "I have to go meet some friends. I'll be back in time for dinner," she said, disgusted by the way Shawn, who was her father's age, lustfully glared at her.
She went to her bedroom and started going through stacks of designer clothes, trying to find a dress that would complement her long golden hair and bright blue eyes. When she was ready, Crystal, her best friend, came by to pick her up. She left without telling her father, who she doubted would be concerned.
"I want you to meet someone," Crystal said.
They had been in boarding school together and were inseparable. "Who?" She looked at herself on the rearview mirror.
"Kristina. I met her through a friend. I think you'll like her."
She could use the distraction. "I just want to have a good time before my dad ships me off to some Godforsaken college."
"What are you talking about?"
"All he cares about is school."
"He just wants you to be as successful as he is."
"That or he can't stand me being around him. I've spent my whole life in boarding schools. I feel like I barely know him." She exhaled. "I feel stupid for hoping this time things were going to be different."
"Your mother's passing hit him hard. You can't blame him for emotionally withdrawing himself."
"From me, his own daughter? Yes, I can. It's not like I'm going to die too and leave him."
"Come on, Allie. Give the old guy a break."
"He should give me one."
She leaned back against the seat and a while later, they were at the party. Crystal introduced her to Kristina, a beautiful young woman who immediately caught her eye.
"Try and have a bit of fun, I'll be back."
Crystal left them alone and Allie got a couple of drinks and tried to get to know Kristina. When she started drinking, she forgot about her dinner plans with her father and completely lost track of time.
She was somewhere in the corner of the house making out with Kristina when Crystal came searching for her. "We have to go. You're supposed to have dinner with your dad, remember?"
Allie didn't care since her father had never expressed concerned about her in the past. "Forget about him. He forgot about me a long time ago," she said.
It was way past midnight when she got home and she was completely drunk. She tried not to make too much noise, but everything was in the way and she kept running into things.
She didn't know how she made it to her bedroom, but when she collapsed on her bed, she didn't wake up until the following afternoon.
*
"Mermaid?"
There was something changing about Mermaid. She was acting like someone else. She had not given Holly any reason to believe anything had changed, but she didn't have to.
"Mermaid?"
Holly called out softly as Mermaid watched the stars, almost as though she was swimming in them. She was seated on the wooden fence of the shed with her gaze lost in the sky. It was impossible to tell where her mind was.
"I was calling you, didn't you hear me?" Holly asked.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I was a bit distracted," Mermaid said.
She turned her attention to Holly and stretched out her hand, softly running her fingers through her hair. Holly searched her gaze, but Mermaid broke physical contact and looked away.
"What's happening to you?"
"Come sit here with me."
Holly wanted to, but opted to ignore her request. Mermaid looked at her again and this time, stars sparkled in her eyes. She was so beautiful it broke Holly's heart. She got off the fence and stood beside her. She looked like she wanted to say something but words seemed to fail her.
"Please tell me," Holly implored when she turned away.
"Have you ever loved someone so much, that the more you love them, the more fearful you grow?" Mermaid asked.
Holly wondered if she'd read her mind because she kept falling deeper and deeper in love with Mermaid. The more she did, the more her fear grew. It was like something was waiting for them in the horizon, something so powerful it was going to tear them apart.
"Yes, I have," she said.
Mermaid seemed to struggle with words and Holly exhaled in understanding when she failed to speak. She didn't want to push Mermaid.
"Will you join us for dinner?" she asked, hoping Mermaid was going to open up to her when she was ready.
Mermaid shook her head and said, "I think I'll sleep in my room tonight."
The statement was a bit of a surprise since they had never slept apart since they'd gotten together, but Holly nodded in understanding.
"I'll see you tomorrow then," she pecked Mermaid's cheek and turned to leave.
"Holly?"
Holly stopped, when Mermaid didn't say anything, she walked away. She would have given anything to know what was troubling the woman she loved.
*
"Dad, I need to talk to you," Allie said when she entered his office. Shawn was there, as usual. She resented the fact that he was always hanging around the house whenever her father was home.
"What is it?"
"In private, please," she said, directly to Shawn.
"Can you give us a minute?" Duncan asked.
He nodded and stepped out of the room.
"I just spoke to Crystal. She told me someone threatened her and told her to stay away from me." She didn't want to believe it, but the only person who'd do that was him. "Was it you?"
"She's a negative influence in your life," he stated matter-of-factly.
"She's a negative influence? You don't even know her."
"Shawn hired someone to do some background research on her. He was worried about your safety since you're home now and there may be some people out there who would try to get to you to hurt me," he said.
Allie felt like a volcano ready to erupt. "So it was Shawn's idea then? And you just let him do it? Because I have so many other friends besides Crystal?" she asked sarcastically, trying but failing to conceal her hurt.
"He was just trying to protect you, honey. There is no need to be overdramatic." He sounded as though he was done discussing the subject.
"You just have to control everything, don't you? Which school I go to? Which friends I hang out with? Which places I visit? Why can't you just leave me alone and let me be?"
"Because you're my daughter and I have to protect you."
Knowing she wasn't going to win the argument by being upset, she relaxed herself and said, "When mom died, I thought we were going to be the best of friends. But the moment I was old enough, you sent me to boarding school. You barely know who I am but Crystal does. She's the only person who knows me. Don't take her away from me. I can't lose someone else. If I have been irresponsible since I came back, I apologize. I promise I'll try and be more mature and responsible." As she had hoped, it worked because his expression softened.
"I'm sorry if I've let you down." He got up from his chair.
"Can you be a little less strict when it comes to Crystal?" she asked.
He seemed to think about it for a moment, then he nodded. She felt like a little girl again as she went and hugged him. Shawn chose that moment to walk back in but Allie was too excited to be bothered by his arrogant presence.
*
Mermaid knocked on the door before she entered the study. She had thought she'd find Holly busy with the ranch records but she seemed so distracted she hardly noticed the knock.
"Holly?"
Holly looked at her.
"May I come in?"
"Yes."
Mermaid walked over to the desk. "I want to apologize for last night," she said.
"You did nothing wrong, Mermaid. You don't have anything to apologize for."
But she felt like she did. She'd never pushed Holly away before. Usually it was Holly doing the pushing. "I know I've been distant lately."
"You have," Holly said as she got up from her chair and approached Mermaid.
"I don't want you to think that what I feel for you has changed. And I don't want what you feel for me to change."
Holly quickly shook her head. "What I feel for you will never change." She wrapped her arms around Mermaid.
"I love you so much, Holly. I need you to trust me."
"I do, I trust you, but I need you to trust me in return. I need you to trust me with what is happening to you."
Pulling away, she released a breath and said, "I'm trying to hold on to Mermaid but she keeps slipping away. Sometimes I don't recognize the thoughts that go through my head. I don't want to lose her but I feel like soon, I will and with her, I'll lose you too."
"Have you remembered something?"
Mermaid noticed how Holly's voice shook as she asked the question and reluctantly nodded.
Holly took a breath and asked, "What's your name?"
Mermaid knew the moment she revealed that piece of information, everything would change. Acknowledging it was going to make it more real. Though she was yet to remember everything, the little she knew was enough because deep down, she knew she wasn't Mermaid anymore.
She was the woman who had been found on the beach before she had woken up to this beautiful new world and these beautiful new people. The frightened little girl, the lonely young adult and now, before she could remember the rest, the woman who was on the verge of losing a world she'd so come to love.
"Tell me," Holly pleaded.
The fact that she was now recovering her memories didn't change the way she felt about Holly. If anything, it gave what she felt more meaning. She had come from so far. From the little she had seen in her world, people like Holly, like the Mackenzie family did not exist.
"My name is..." She closed her eyes. She needed Holly to understand that this identity did not have to change anything, yet she was so terribly afraid that it would. "My name is Allison Davidson. I'm twenty five years old. My father's name is Duncan. My mother's name was Michelle. She died when I was eight. I was raised in upstate New York and my father is the chairman of Davidson and Associates Publications."
She watched as Holly absorbed the information.
"How long have you known?"
"A few days."
The fact that Holly could not meet her gaze worried Mermaid.
"Do you know how you ended up on the beach in Reedsdale?"
"No. That's all I've remembered so far."
Holly took a while to say something and when she spoke, Mermaid felt a pinch in her heart.
"I'm sorry about your mother."
It had happened a long time ago, she could barely even remember her. "This doesn't have to change anything between us, unless you let it."
Holly met her gaze. "You're very far from home."
"I'm exactly where I need to be, Holly. This is my home now. Right here, with you and your family. Just because I know who I am now, doesn't mean I want to pack up and leave." She took a step towards Holly, desperate to let her know her memories didn't change anything.
"Are you sure?" Holly asked.
Mermaid nodded. After a long moment, Holly said, "I love you." A wave of relief washed over Mermaid as she wrapped her arms around Holly.
"I was so scared," Mermaid said as she tightly held on to her.
"You were scared?" Holly asked as she laughed.
"Yes, I thought you wouldn't want me anymore. I thought everything would change." Mermaid now freely confessed.
"I was scared too. I thought once you recovered your memories, you would change. I thought you'd want to leave and go back," Holly said as they pulled apart.
"I'm still madly in love with you. If anything, my love for you has only continued to grow," Mermaid gently declared and Holly pulled her close and kissed her.
"So, would you like me to use your real name?" Holly asked against her lips.
Mermaid wasn't sure she was ready to embrace who she was just yet. "I'm always going to be Mermaid to you."
Holly chuckled at her statement and kissed her again.
"I don't want to reveal this to anyone until I know everything. Can we just keep it between us?" She was not sure she was ready to carry the burden of the questions that would ultimately be posed once she told everyone her memories were starting to come back.
"Sure, anything you want," Holly said as she picked her up and sat her on the desk. She parted her legs and positioned herself in between as Mermaid wrapped her arms around her neck and continued to kiss her.
"I've missed you," Holly said.
Mermaid started to undress her, which was not met by any protest. "I've missed you too."
Holly started to undressed her as well as their lips recaptured in a kiss. Maybe things were going to work out between them after all. All that insignificant fear had taken refuge where it didn't belong.
At the end of the day, it was what they felt for each other that mattered and Mermaid was determined not to let her past determine her present or her future. Like Holly, she was going to find some way to let her past bring them closer rather than tear them apart.