School was over, walked to my locker & left some books since I finished my homework during my classes.
After I was done, I headed to the gate. As I walked out, I saw Jisung waiting for me. He looked around & the saw me, his eyes lit up. I shyly walked towards him.
"Astra, you came. Let's go."
We walked to the park. Before we were out of sight, I knew the kids from school watched us walking together. Jisung didn't seem to care, he wrapped his right arm across my shoulder.
As we walked to the park, we made small talk. He asked me how was my day, if any interesting thing happened. Nobody other than Taehyung & my mother seemed to care about me, this made me like Jisung even more.
After a while, we reached the park. He asked if we wanted to sit by the benches & I kindly agreed. We walked over to the benches & we sat down. We watched kids run around & play, we both admired nature that surrounded us.
We were at the park for hours, we left at 1pm, we were there at the park until 6pm. I missed eating my lovely noodles but it's okay, it's not going to run away from me, though the noodles know that I always want to devour him.
Once again, I was the one who did the talking. It was like he was interested in hearing me speak which is very rare to me. I felt somewhat special, appreciated. I never felt that before, Jisung made me experience it entirely.
I wanted to tell him that I liked him but I was too scared. Scared of being rejected, scared of being embarrassed, scared of loosing what we both currently had.
"Astra? Are you okay?" he asked sounding concerned, "Yes, yes definitely. I'm totally fine. Why?" I asked although I knew that I looked out of place and very much restless, "You look rather worried and agitated, is everything okay?" he questioned.
I assured him that I was just tired and I had a lot on my mind, I insisted on the idea of us going home but he insisted on staying and for us to talk about me since he was worried.
I got up and gestured for us to go, "Yah, talk to me. We're not leaving until you tell me what's bothering you." he insisted. I couldn't dare to tell him how I felt about him since it was too early for me to talk about it. I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship.
"I can't talk about it at this point since it's too soon." I looked down at my shoes while fidgeting with the straps of my backpack. "What are you talking about? Astra just say what's on your mi-"
"I like you, Jisung. I really like you. I know that you not interested in relationships yet but I just wanted to tell you. Hate me if you want but I don't care."
I waited for his reaction, anything from him but all I got was a look that I couldn't seem to interpret. I was on the verge of crying until his facial expression changed to concern since my eyes were sparkling.
"Astra? please don't cr-" i cut him off, "Save it, I already have my answer." I turned around and ran away from him. I heard him call out to me but I didn't look back I just continued running.
After I ran for a while I finally reached home. I ran up to my bedroom & locked the door behind me, I was so tired. I laid face down on my bed, I couldn't hold my tears in any longer which led to me bawling my eyes out.