I curl up in my bed after my bath, I had just got done self-harming, things might seem like they are changing as far as how Abuela has been treating all of us, but to me it feels like a huge show being put on. I fear that everything will eventually go back how it was, I also feel this strange darkness inside myself growing like not exactly me getting darker, but a strange dark presence surrounding me. This presence being the voices continuously telling me everything Abuela had been saying for the past 10 years, like how worthless I am or how I am ruining this family.
I start thinking about how its the one time Dolores speaks up to Abuela that makes a difference, why do I have to be the odd one out? The one who has to have multiple weird powers instead of one, I mean I would even take no power over this. I start to fall asleep, unable to keep my eyes open anymore.
The next day, I wake up later than normal and I panic jumping up I run downstairs to see that Abuela and I are the only ones awake. She is sitting at the table drinking coffee and I can see she is deep in thought, I grab some coffee then join her at the table. Abuela gives me a look of surprise, which I guess she wasn't expecting anyone up yet and hadn't noticed me until right then.
"Mirabel, just the one I was hoping to speak to," She states matter of factly. Suddenly my stomach drops, and worry takes place, I hide this from Abuela and wait for her to speak. She then responds, "Dolores, Bruno, and Camilo brought something to my attention last night out of worry. And I need an honest answer from you, and I am not angry no matter how you answer. Mirabel, have you been self-harming?"
I look at her, my eyes wide in shock, while she stares at me waiting for an answer, slowly I respond, "No, Abuela." Right this second I am so glad mama's food last night healed my recent cuts and my scars, because normally the next thing she says would have caused a full blown panic attack.
"Let me see your arms, please," she answers. I show her my clean arms and she seems to accept my lies for now. I relax a bit as mama and the others come down to do regular morning chores. Abuela has been giving everyone the choice of when they help others and when they take a resting period. I stare at Camilo trying to read his mind, "I hope my prima is okay. She doesn't deserve all the hell she has been put through the past 10 years. I wish I could give her a huge hug and take her pain mentally away."
At hearing my primo's thoughts, I want to cry and hug him tightly, but I know I cannot without seeming suspicious. I decide to try and read Dolores' mind and see what she is thinking, "I wish Mirabel wouldn't lie to Abuela. I just want her to get the help she needs, I am so scared I am going to lose my prima." It isn't just her thought that is surprising me, for the first time I see the sadness on her face and in her eyes, I see the tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.
We are sitting at the table for breakfast, Abuela is asking each of us our plans for the day, I hear Dolores say, "I have a date with Mariano tonight."