The party resumed but it wasn't the same anymore. Though everyone made constant attempts to bring back the same ambience as before, they failed miserably. Part of the reason was that they ignored the ginormous elephant in the room, Taehyung's self-harm episode. No one dared speak about it. More than the action itself, they were all scared of Namjoon's reaction if they dared opened their mouth. Everyone knew how protective Namjoon was of his little brother.
He has practically raised him after all.
Namjoon was relatively quiet. After dinner (which as promised by Yoongi was Chinese takeouts), they sat down for a round of drinks after Yoongi dropped Jungkook off at his home.
"Hyung?", Jimin who was standing behind the couch with Taehyung behind him and their pinkies wrapped around each other, whispered to Namjoon.
"Yeah Min?", Namjoon looked startled from someone addressing him suddenly but he quickly composed himself.
"Can Taehyung and I head upstairs? He's drained and I did rather be with him", Jimin asked nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. Namjoon stared at him and Taehyung, who stood a little behind Jimin staring down at his feet and then nodded in agreement.
"Thank you Hyung", Jimin bowed, grateful for the older agreeing. After the incident, he wasn't sure what Namjoon felt about him. Did he hate him for pushing Tae over the edge? Jimin just wanted to ask him outright, but decided to delay it to some other time, after all the party was still very much continuing.
"Goodnight everyone! We will be heading upstairs. You guys have a good time!", Jimin smiled and made eye contact around the room. Then he tugged at his pinky and urged Taehyung, who very uncomfortably whispered a 'Good night' and trailed behind Jimin as they walked up the stairs.
^^^^^^
"You okay Joonie? You're awfully quiet", Jin asked, placing his hand softly on Namjoon's shoulder to shake him out of his train of thoughts.
"Oh. Yeah...I mean. Yes. I am okay Hyung!", Namjoon whisper yelled, stuttering every single word out.
"You can talk to us. If you want to, of course. No pressure. But it does help", Hoseok chimed, smiling encouragingly.
"Before you express yourself, I want to say something of my own. Jimin is a nice guy Joonie and I am not saying it just because he is my cousin. I don't know what the hell happened there between them, I can guarantee you that he would never do it on purpose. He-", Yoongi was interrupted.
"I don't blame or hate Jimin", Namjoon spoke a little louder, interjecting Yoongi's ramblings.
"You don't?", Yoongi looked surprised.
"I know Jimin didn't mean to hurt him. No one could have anticipated Tae's violent reaction. I have seen them around each other as much as you have, Hyung. Neither one would do anything to cause even a minute inconvenience to the other. The only thing for which I hold Jimin accountable is how he has managed to bring about so many amazing changes in Taehyung. You guys have noticed it, haven't you?", Namjoon asked, his eyes darting between Jin and Yoongi, who silently nod in agreement. Hoseok shifted his gaze between the other three, curiously waiting to know more about Taehyung.
"He expresses himself more now. He actually speaks", Jin said, smiling at Namjoon and continuing to rub his shoulder.
"He is leaving the house more often. He even came here with you today. Had it been like before, he would have remained cooped up in his art studio", Yoongi spoke, eyes focused on nothing in particular.
"All because of Jimin", Namjoon concluded. It was the truth, there was no denying it. All these seemingly impossible tasks has been made possible simply by Jimin's presence.
"Has Taehyung ever been close to anyone?", Hoseok asked.
"Our grandmother. She was the only one who understood him truly. She was always there for him and Taehyung was always stuck to her side. He would always be around her no matter what she was doing; gardening, cooking, baking cookies, sewing or simply sitting idly. That's why it affected him severely when she passed. Poor little soul, confused out of his mind as to why grandma left the house. There were times he would ask me if it was his fault for her disappearance from his life. Because that seemed to happen a lot in his life.
Everyone just up and left.
Other than her, he had a good relationship with granddad too, but he passed away when we were little. Taehyung still managed to pick up his habit of stargazing from granddad", Namjoon spoke fondly, a small nostalgic smile creeping up his face.
"Don't discredit yourself Joon. What you have done for him, no one would. You gave your childhood and teenage dreams for Taehyung", Yoongi stated flatly. Namjoon remained utterly quiet, his gaze on the floor.
"You know Hobi, I have known Namjoon all my life. Jin too, but he came into the picture a little later. Joon and I, we have been buddies since we were toddlers", Yoongi smiled as he softly gazed at Namjoon, who responded with the same.
"I was there when Taehyung was born. You should have seen the way Namjoon's eyes light up when he held Tae in his arms. He wanted a little sister, but the moment his eyes fell on Taehyung, he realized this was the only thing he wanted.
Not a little sister, not a little brother, but a little Taehyung.
But he knew, we knew something wasn't right with Taehyung. He wasn't like the other kids his age. He was quiet, reserved and didn't speak often. He was always by himself, either coloring or listening to music. I had seen the look on Joonie's face, the light leaving his eyes when he realized he couldn't do the one thing he so desperately wanted to do with Tae, play.
But Joonie bounced back immediately. Even as a kid himself, he matured up. Always kept an eye out on Taehyung from afar.
But the event that brought them together was yet to happen.
That dreadful day when their parents dropped them off at their grandparents house with nothing but two suitcases. I remember running over to their home as soon as I heard the news. We always knew that day would come, there were too many telltale signs. Taehyung was being neglected by them. They never tended to his needs and whenever he had a fit like the one you saw today, they locked him up in his room till eventually he tired himself and passed out. That's why he wasn't diagnosed till very later on, when Namjoon took him to the doctors.
Namjoon became a parent figure for Taehyung alongside his grandmother without even an ounce of hesitation. He just stepped up to the role.
If you look at it now, it's a relief that they abandoned them. It's better this way. It brought Namjoon and Taehyung together", Yoongi closed his eyes. The silence in the room was deafening. Jin and Hoseok had misty eyes while Namjoon was staring at Yoongi intently.
"Hyung?", he called out after a few seconds.
"You don't have to-", Yoongi started but was immediately interrupted.
"Thank you. Thank you for noticing", Namjoon got up from his place and walked over to where Yoongi was sitting and pulled him into a hug. Though Yoongi was not a very physical person, he gave in and hugged back with equal fervor.
"That's all I needed. For someone to notice me", Namjoon sobbed. "And you did", he stuttered.
"I know I should show it more often and let people know what they need to know. And I know that I am not a very physical or affectionate person. But I do care. I care about you Namjoon", Yoongi spoke, trying very hard to suppress the heavy emotions quietly seeping into his voice.
He caressed Namjoon's back, who continued to lean against him. No further words were exchanged, just a silent acknowledgment of each other's presence.
^^^^^^
"Come here", Jimin gestured at Taehyung to sit beside him on the bed but the younger continued to hover by the door. Neither getting in nor getting out.
"Are you going to stand there the whole night TaeTae?", Jimin smiled, looking fondly at the younger who was now pacing by the threshold.
Slowly, Taehyung shut the door and stepped into the room. He walked up to the foot of the bed and stood there, swaying and shifting weight back and forth between his two feet. Jimin grew worried. He quickly got off the bed and walked up to the younger.
"What's wrong TaeTae?", he asked, standing at a safe distance so as not to agitate him further.
"H-home", he said. Realization dawned on Jimin that Taehyung can't adjust in new environment and sleeping in a whole new bed was a significantly big change.
"Do you want to go back home TaeTae? And sleep in your bed?"
Tae nodded in agreement.
"Don't you want to sleep with me? If you stay here, we can sleep and cuddle together?", Jimin smiled, hoping his persuasion works because he desperately wanted to stay close to him.
"C-cuddle? What's a cuddle?", Tae asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion. Jimin realized Taehyung was not used to giving or receiving affection. His stomach churned.
"Cuddling means hugging someone when you're both in bed. It's like a normal hug, but only difference being we do it while we are lying down."
Tae nodded and then stood still, eyes on the opposite wall, in deep contemplation.
"Taetae cuddle Ji-min", he finally concluded.
"Yay! Do you have your PJs? Do you need to use to bathroom?", Jimin asked and Tae nodded his head. He picked up his backpack and headed into the attached bathroom in the older's room. After about 20 minutes, Taehyung was back. Now wearing a set of blue and white striped PJs.
Jimin went ahead and changed too. Then they both climbed into bed. Jimin wasn't sure how to go about this. Should he actually cuddle with Tae or give him some space? After what happened today, he decides to leave some space between them so he moves to the left side of the bed, leaving Taehyung towards the right.
It was uncomfortable. Jimin was used to cuddling his pillow to sleep. But now that pillow was holding Tae's head in place.
I am going to be up all night, he sighed.
"Ji-min?", Tae voice was nothing more than a soft whisper which startled Jimin because he assumed the younger would be fast asleep by now. He turned around to find Tae wide awake, staring at the ceiling. He was lying stiffly, his fingertips rubbing together as if he was anxious.
"Can't sleep?"
Tae shook his head.
"How can I help you?", Jimin shuffled a little closer.
"Ji-min mad?", Tae asked, his voice flat.
"Oh sweetheart. I am only mad at myself because I hurt you", Jimin spoke, sadness evident in his voice.
Tae just hummed. "C-Cuddle?", he finally asked.
Jimin smiled and opened his arms wide. Tae shuffled uncomfortably and pushed himself into the warmth of Jimin's embrace. Jimin held him close to his chest, drawing patterns on his back and occasionally carding his fingers through the younger's hair.
Within a few minutes, soft snores escaped from the pouty lips of the younger. Jimin looked down and noticed his favorite human sound asleep in his arms.
Taehyung head rested on Jimin's bicep as he kept him close.
"I am sorry for what I did to you TaeTae", he whispered. "I will try to be a better person."
Jimin pulled the blanket over them and slowly closed his eyes and let sleep consume him.
^^^^^^^
"Even though we came prepared, I still know that Taehyung would never stay here. Let me just quickly grab him and we will be on our way", Namjoon spoke to Jin as the two of them made their way up to collect Tae from Jimin's room.
"I wish you could stay here though. It would be good to clear your head", Jin whined.
Namjoon tried to eavesdrop but couldn't hear a single noise coming from inside the room. Panic stricken he opened the door only to find the two younger entangled inside the cosy comforter. Jin gasped too as he walked in, trailing behind Namjoon.
He walked closer, adjusted the comforter and then planted soft kisses on his brother's forehead first and then Jimin's.
"Another change Hyung. Do you see this?", he whispered to Jin, who nodded in agreement.
"Jimin might just be what you guys have been waiting for all along", Jin smiled. "A little miracle of your own."
The two older walked out of the room and left the two younger boys to walk together in the land ruled by Morpheus.
________
A/N:
Namjoon is such an amazing big brother.
I love Yoongi and Namjoon's friendship in this chapter. So soft for each other.
P. S Morpheus is the Greek God of dreams.
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