"Here's your coffee," I step inside and close the door with my other hand, smiling at this one who's keeping back the book on the shelf where it's originally supposed to be, "thank you, darling."
"No problem." I don't want him to thank me for doing this, I love to make him his coffees and cook food for him, to be honest, do whatever that pleases him and helps regulate his mental health which isn't too stable currently. He's just divorced his ex-wife, he gave her whatever share she had, and above all, she also tried to accuse him of physical and verbal abuse, having no shame about what I would think or what her own daughter would feel when she hears those terrible lies about her father.
That moment was tough to witness, I wonder how mister jeon endured it.
"So," he takes a sip of the steaming liquid, unaffected by the heat, he sits down on the edge of my bed and looks lower at me when i take a seat on the gaming chair. "You can now stop addressing me formally, sweetheart, it's better if you'd speak my name, I'd like to hear that."
His soothing voice asks me out, I smile shyly, feeling some type of way after I've heard him say this. "Okay. Are you really sure?" He hums, detaching his lips from the edge of the cup, "yes."
He gives me his permission, and I try my best to take out the mister from his name, inside my head, hoping I won't be awkward while addressing him as jungkook. It just doesn't feel respectful of me, he's older than me and I sort of, want to address him as someone who is really the big one, but I'll change my thoughts, that will make things better for him and for me too. I have to adapt towards his second name, no matter how tough it's for me.
"Come sit here," mister jeon keeps the cup back on the nightstand, patting the bed, so I go to him and I get on the mattress but wrap my arms around him, wanting some warmth and helping him feel some of mine as well. He smiles in a breathy manner, catching hold of me like I was a little baby, he enclosed my body in his tattooed and muscular one.
"Did you have a good day today?" I manage to not faint due to lack of oxygen and inhaling his dizzy scent way too much, and I peek up at his face from his chest. "I did," he touches my spine, trailing his warm fingers down the bone which chills me, i grab his other hand and put it on mine, moving away to not alert him about my blushing face. I turn around and he spreads his crossed legs for me to sit down as if he knew what I was going to do, beforehand.
His veiny hands coming to my waist he sits properly and leans back on the headboard of the bed, pulling me up carefully to make the both of us comfortable and cosy. "If you don't want to tell, it's okay. But how many cigarettes did you smoke today?"
Mister jeon shifts, exhaling, "about four only, sweetheart." That's too much.
Not sure if he's only lying to me to help me not worry, I turn my head and gaze up in his eyes, these gleaming and dark intimidating ones which soften as he smiles, "I'm not lying, trust me." He pecks my chin, doing everything he can, just to assure me. I believe him, but still hate that he even smoked more than he did some days back. That was reducing back then, but I knew it'd rise again once the pain takes over him after the divorce, he even sent hanuel away for sometime to just makes situation easier for his daughter, uncaring about his feelings and how he'd be lonely if she was away from her father.
I smile at him, I don't know if I should talk about all those things for now, so the least I can do is simply help him out his uneasiness and bad mental condition by giving him my best.
"Good, it's better that you're starting to smoke less cigarettes than before, mis- jungkook." I bite back my tongue before I call him by his formal name, but I blurt out his name, and he chuckles in my ear. "Miss...jungkook?" He makes fun of my mistake terribly, but I cannot really conceal my smile, I hide my face by turning back to my normal position, "I'm trying, okay?"
"I know, sweetheart," he bends down but kisses my shoulder, the skin there getting bathed in goosebumps and my whole body in this feeble condition turning upside down from the inside. "Don't rush, just call me by my name whenever you feel you want to, that's easier that way."
"Hmm," I don't refuse, he probably knows how much it's difficult. I lean back to rest my head on his robust chest which is strangely comfortable for me, the sound of his gentle but fast heartbeat pouring honey into my ears, my eyes close by themselves and I find myself relaxed. I stop playing with his finger rings, and I now just feel his veins underneath my fingertip, tracing the jutting blood-filled parts with gentleness. "Do you want me to turn the tv on?"
He kindly denies, "no, do you want that?" I also don't want that, "no..." It's explaining how we both feel better and comfortable with being in the silence of only ourselves, without anyone to create any disturbance or distract us from this peace, it makes my heart beat so much more loudly.
I don't want to break this silence, but I wanted to know about hanuel and her whereabouts so I cause the disruption here. "When will hanuel be back...?"
I take his hand and place it on my lap, putting my knees up and he flattens his hand on my stomach eventually, my toes curling, and my legs twitch. "In less than a week. Do you want to know what she said?" He asks this out of the blue, but the eagerness inside me explodes, "yes, what did she say?" I find a excuse to escape his manly touches on my weaker body parts, and I sit up a bit, he takes his hands away to take something out of his pockets. His hips push further, but the sensations it provoked to my lower back, I feel my heart skipping a beat and I clench my hands into a fist, holding back a gasp. "Listen..."
He opens his phone right in front of me and I look at the cute wallpaper he has of his daughter, but also notice something different. He has saved my name in his phone as his angel baby. This really hit the bottom.
I smile wide, knowing he'll not be able to see my face anyways, and I get ready to hear what he wants me to. He opens the messages from his mother, as I noticed, he clicks on the latest voice message that seems to appear from the other side, and where I suppose, hanuel is going to speak.
He inches the phone's speaker closer to my earlobe, I impatiently wait for hanuel's voice to get into my head and make things so much softer.
"Daddy, granny made me almond cookies again....but I umm, I don't really..." Her cute voice softens and she breathes out in the speaker without caring much, "I don't really liked it because I don't like that and I told her that it's yummy but both nana and I didn't like it, like little bit I liked but, umm....but please don't tell this to granny, okay? And I wu-"
This voicemail ending, I now notice the big smile of joy in my face, this one which a small angel caused with her soft and pure innocence.
Mister jeon laughs in the sweetest rough voice. "This is too cute," I giggle, unable to help it, "did she send another one which completes her sentence?" I also for more but there's none, sadly. "She doesn't really know how the voice message works and she thought it's all sent already, I think she might've taken her finger away accidentally. Whatever this was...." He smiles and so do I, aware of the fact that she's only a kid and she still managed to send a voicemail, regardless of how she didn't even know what's a voicemail before.
"Does she like it there?" He hums, "she likes it only because there's her favourite childhood toys and she stays because she likes to listen to the lame jokes my dad cracks, and also how she gets woken up by the sound of sparrows. But the main reason is because her pet rabbit is there."
That is seriously the best thing one kid could ever ask for.
Mister jeon takes his hand back to let his phone down on my nightstand, he turns slightly but cups my waist to pull me up higher and land me on his crotch. "You didn't tell me about your day, darling." He skims his hand past my abdomen and I shudder, but the pain suddenly hits me from the inside, and I gasp, "ouch..." I hold my stomach but make him notice it, unwillingly. "What happened?"
I bite on my lip but look down, his face coming near mine from the behind, I try to focus on breathing, how I always do when the period pain suddenly elevates from nowhere. "It's just....i-" the hitting sensation in my waist makes me super weak, "my stomach is a bit painful, but it's fine."
I peek up at his face, his sharp eyebrows furrowed in observance, he glances down at my body and perhaps understands, "are you on your period?" I nod, moving away, feeling the urge to crawl into a hole, I feel embarrassed but I really can't think right, the pain is too much, I feel like I'm going to black out, my eyes aren't helping me focus with this blurry vision at all. "Sweetheart, you should've told me."
"Told you about me having this normal bloody cycle what happens every month and yet i cannot handle it?" I ask in a soft voice, it's really unnecessary to go on explaining to him about whatever happens with me and my body, and this would just be exaggerating then. "Gosh," he licks his lips but inhales deep, "yes."
He grabs my wrist as I turn to leave, "where're you going?" I smile but feel his eyes gaze through mine with care, "to drink water." His hand leaving me, I go and get the water bottle from my desk, and I gulp down two large sips, and keep it back before i take my book and go back to him.
"Does it pain too much?" He now will not be unbothered, I knew it, he's really so sweet. "No, it doesn't, it just hits from time to time, but I'm all okay, mister jeon."
He doesn't believe me, I see it in his eyes and the way that they scrutinize my body down to my toes. "If the pain does that, it's not good, and you'll just feel worse and weaker after it." He tells me, "hey, it's not easy, I know you're unable to handle it, I've read about that kind of pain, and I don't want you to faint because it's damaging your head and energy from the inside of your body throughout your day. Do you want me to soothe it? I surely wouldn't be able to end the pain, but I can help alleviate it."
His words of wholesome care and knowledge make me curiously intrigued about how he can soothe this sort of pain, I look in his eyes whilst sitting down on the edge of the bed, and I nod. "How can you do that?"
"It's simple, sweetheart," he take his hand to his other one, and he rolls his sleeves up, all his inks and hot tattoos coming in sight, "a massage helps regulate the hormonal imbalance, especially if it's pleasing and deep."
"Oh," I act like I didn't actually shiver once he mentioned about the massage. This is going to convert me into a hot mess. What do I do?
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