Eiji seemed to be nervous about the memorial service tonight. Actually, he also wanted to give the speech, but he knew it was better if he didn't. He wasn't sure if he could handle something similar to the funeral. It was time to let go of the past and move on.
"Do you think you can really do this?"
(Y/N) was the only person that could, obviously. No one had a better understanding of Ash than she did. From the secrets he kept to the experiences they shared, she knew everything about him. This might be why it hurts her the most. She still felt lost without him, even though he's been gone for so long. Whenever she thought of happy memories or painful ones, her heart ached. Maybe she was the one who will not be able to move on from the past.
(Y/N) had practiced and prepared for this moment. She had always been comfortable speaking in front of a large audience. Despite this, she thought to herself that it would be nice to have some support. "The speech? I have to."
Eiji was still playing with Felix the cat, both of them seemed to have become friends quickly. "Is Sing going to say anything?" he asked. (Y/N) already asked Sing if he wanted to say something at the speech, and he said he was going to think about it. There was never a discussion about it again.
(Y/N) shrugged her shoulders. "I don't think so." she started to feel anxious. Even if she was able to deliver the speech perfectly, she was still nervous, like anyone would be. The speech was important to her and all she wanted was to do it well.
"And Yut-Lung?" The boy asked. (Y/N) laughed at that. If he were to say anything, it would most definitely not be positive. Just because Ash was dead doesn't mean his hatred is gone.
"I think he'd rather die than doing that." She sighed heavily, her eyes looking tired and her shoulders slumping. Hopefully the conflict between the two of them will end soon. "It's just me. Do you want so say something? It'd be nice having someone up there with me."
Eiji declined her offer. "I can't really do things like that in front of people. Especially when it's about Ash." he looked at her with a sad expression, feeling bad that he had said no.
"That's fine. I don't really like doing it either." (Y/N) assured him. Like always, she had to take care of everything herself. But she didn't blame any of them. Most likely wouldn't she have done either if it would not draw unnecessary suspicions on them. Eiji smiled again. "Ibe is going to be there. He also told me that Max is coming too."
"I'm glad. We're going to need all the support."
—
It was late at noon. The service was about to start, which was located at their university. The university must have done it just for the attention, but it was too late now. The faculty members opened the service and (Y/N) was called to start her speech. Students and even reporters were attending, since Ash was a very popular topic at the moment in New York.
(Y/N) stood up there with a microphone in front of her, trying to suppress her nervousness. Next to her was another picture of Ash. The blonde looked so happy and carefree in the picture. Still, she knew that it was not how he truly felt. There had never been a moment where he wasn't constantly worried. The truth is, (Y/N) was the one who took the picture. She wanted to remember the moment forever.
Sing, Eiji and Yut-Lung were sitting together at the front row. Sing noticed someone he recognized, and they showed up just last minute. The person took a seat near Ibe and Max, who were also confused. Someone was back once again, after having been gone for a while.
"Guys. You won't believe it, look behind me."
Eiji gasped as he saw the person across the room. "No way. That's Blanca? What is he doing here?" he whispered. Blanca eventually noticed the three and looked over at Sing, giving him an innocent smile. Sing seemed creeped out. "No idea."
The service was starting now. "Thank you so much to those who have gathered here tonight. I stand here today to pay tribute to a strong, kind soul. The most important person in my life: Ash Lynx." (Y/N) took a deep breath. There's a chance she would regret this.
"Ash was born on August 12th, 2000 in Cape Cod, a peninsula located in the coast of Massachusetts. I met Ash when both of us were only nine years old. We were so young, but at the same time so grown. Both of us struggled for most of our life. He often would say, maybe that's how it's supposed to be for him. Ash was the first friend in my life where I knew exactly that no matter what, nothing would ever change between us. It didn't matter how big our arguments would be, or how angry we would get. He was the only one who ever believed in me. A special person, who always took care of his family: His older brother, Griffin, who raised him in his younger years. Unfortunately, he passed away last year. Ash never stopped supporting his loved ones until the end. There are no words that could ever describe how the future will be without him. He made a big impact in peoples lives, he has proved that. Ash, you inspired many, and fought very well like you always did. That's what I will admire forever. No one will ever forget you. You're gone way too soon. I must thank you. Until we meet again."
—
After the faculty members thanked her and she briefly talked to her friends, she excused herself to the restroom. She was unable to keep it together any longer. It was a crushing, awful feeling that made her feel suffocated. (Y/N) locked herself in the toilet stall and began to cry uncontrollably. She was trembling, trying not to make any noise and barely able to speak.
"No.."
(Y/N) was unable to cry after Ash was found, or at the funeral. She was still in shock and couldn't process what was happening. Everything felt surreal ever since. Her standing up there made her realize that Ash wasn't coming back. He was dead, truly dead. She had experienced the loss of many important people in her life. (Y/N) never thought that he would leave her, but he did. Ash was her best friend and he always will be.
There never was a life without him.
Ash may have suffered enough, but that didn't mean he couldn't have one last chance in life. He always felt that he never deserved another chance, and that he did not deserve the love and kindness of others. Wasn't Eiji right at some point? This was her fault, refusing to talk to anyone about her feelings. Like most, she didn't want to be a burden. Now she had to face the consequences. Wiping the remaining tears from her face, the girl got up and walked to the sink to wash her hands.
"None of them can see me like this. I'll just end up crying even more."
After (Y/N) freshened up, she got out of the bathroom. She checked her phone and saw a new message. It was from Eiji.
Eiji:
- Hope ur OK. It's crazy how many people want to talk to us. Barely got out of there..
- Ibe wants to talk to me now. Sing and Yut-Lung had to go already. Sorry! :(
- We'll see u later! ^^
"Thank god." (Y/N) was glad for the first time that everyone ditched her suddenly, she obviously was not in a state to talk to any of them.
reply:
- that's okay
- sorry a friend also wanted to talk to me. took a bit longer than i thought lol. tell ibe i said hi
(Y/N) put her cell phone back in her bag. After leaving the building, she paused to take in her surroundings. Someone tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned around to see who it was. It was their good friend Max, who she had already seen in the audience.
"Hey (Y/N)! How have you been? I saw you but you were gone so fast.. You were great up there today. Ash would've been proud of you."
(Y/N) tried to maintain a normal appearance, hoping that her distress would go unnoticed. "Max? Hey. Thank you for coming today." The man looked around to see where her friends were. "Are you alright? Where is Eiji and the rest?" he asked her, smiling.
Something she didn't realize was that her eyes were starting to fill with tears again. "They already went home. I just needed to be alone for a bit."
Shit.
"(Y/N)?"
Without thinking, he reached out and hugged her, hoping to help calm her down. Their relationship was very similar to Ash's and his. Max saw Ash and (Y/N) as if they were his own children, always being a father-figure to them. The girl let all of the emotions she had been holding in for so long out this time. "I'm sorry."
"I understand. You always play it tough, but even for you this is a lot. It's completely okay not being able to do everything yourself. You are stronger than you imagine, (Y/N). Remember that."
(Y/N) kept sobbing while hugging him too, struggling to answer. "You and Ash always were my problem children weren't you?" he joked trying to comfort her, which made her laugh a bit.
"We have always worried you, haven't we old man?"