Christmas was over. Decorations were no longer everywhere and places seemed much more dull. The snow was melting and it was almost constantly raining. All students were back at Hogwarts, the only place I feel safe from everything currently going on in the real world.
There were more murders. A terrifying amount of murders. People were being killed. At first it was just muggles being killed but now its also witches and wizards. I'm scared. Everyone is at risk. I don't want anything to happen to my friends, I don't know what I'd do without them. What would I do without my late-night talks with Alice, Marlene and Lily? What would I do without sneaking down to the kitchens late at night with James and Peter? What would I do without my pain-in-the-ass brother annoying me all the time? What would I do without Remus?
"Y/n, put the newspaper down." Remus demands softly.
"More people have been killed." I say quietly as I place the newspaper down on the table in front of me as we sit and eat our breakfast.
"Y/n, we'll all be fine." James assures me.
"How do you know that?" I ask. "You cant be sure that we'll all be ok. These murderers aren't killing specific people, they are killing anybody. Any one of us could be next."
"Y/n, calm down," Sirius says calmly. "We're safe here at Hogwarts. No one would dare do anything with Dumbledore here."
"Sirius, we're only at Hogwarts for a few more months," I say. "What's going to happen when we leave? We wont have Dumbledore to protect us then."
"Y/n, you're being paranoid." Remus says and gently places his hand on my shoulder in a comforting way.
Lily walks past us and takes the newspaper off the table.
"What've I told you about reading this?" Lily asks me and lightly hits me on the head with the paper. "You're just going to get worried and paranoid. This whole situation will be over soon, whoever is committing the murders is going to get caught and everything will be fine."
"What if you're wrong?" I ask quietly and I don't think anyone hears me.
I look down at my plate, which had some pancakes on it, and suddenly I've lost my appetite.
"I'm not hungry," I say and stand up. "I'm going on a walk around the castle."
I quickly exit the great hall and I hear footsteps following me. I knew it was Remus who had followed me.
"Y/n, are you alright?" Remus asks as he easily catches up to me. Darn his stupid giant legs.
"I'm fine." I lie but Remus gives me a 'I know you're lying, just tell me what's wrong' look. I sigh.
"Remus, I'm scared." I admit quietly and we sit down on a windowsill.
"Y/n, being scared is normal." Remus says. "Everyone is scared of something, you're only human."
"Well, it seems like I'm the only one freaking out in this whole situation," I say. "Am I just being crazy, is there really nothing to be worried about?"
"Y/n, you're not being crazy, or at least not crazier than usual," He says with a grin and I jokingly narrow my eyes at him. "I think you're reacting in a perfectly normal way. People are being murdered, feeling scared that you're going to be killed is rational."
"I'm not worried about me being killed," I admit. "I'm worried about you. You, Sirius, James, Lily, Alice, Marlene, Peter, everybody I care about is at risk." I feel tears forming in my eyes as Remus pulls me in for a tight hug.
"I don't want to lose you." I cry as Remus rubs his hand on my back comfortingly.
"You wont lose me. You wont lose any of us." Remus assures me.
I really hope he's right.
~*𓃦*~
I mindlessly copy the notes off the board in transfiguration as we begin preparations for the NEWTS, which I am not looking forward to. I'm writing the notes but the words are not processing in my mind whatsoever. I seem to be finding it very difficult to focus on anything.
Remus doesn't seem to be focusing either, he has a perfectly reasonable excuse though, the full moon is tomorrow night and I can tell he's beginning to feel really stressed about it. I hate seeing him stressed like this, he doesn't deserve to be going through this.
~*𓃦*~
I hear a howl in the distance as me, Sirius, James and Peter walk through the tunnel to the shrieking shack. No matter how many times we do this I will never enjoy it.
James, Peter and Sirius seem to enjoy it quite a bit, sneaking around the grounds in our animagus forms, breaking hundreds of school rules, even breaking some laws, for them its thrilling.
But I cant focus on any of that. The only thing on my mind is the fact that the only person in this world that I love more than anything is suffering.
He wont remember any of this once the morning comes, but it is vividly imprinted in my mind. The way he cries out in pain as he transforms, the sadness in the eyes of the creature he becomes, the way that Remus is always worried that he's going to hurt us (or worse) every month.
He has been better since we started accompanying him on the full moon though, he wakes up with a lot less scratches and marks, he seems to recover much quicker and he doesn't dread the full moon as much as he did before.
~*𓃦*~
We arrive back at the common room as the sun slowly begins to rise.
"Why couldn't we just stay in the hospital wing with him?" I mutter.
"Because Pomfrey would kill us." Sirius responds. "He'll be fine Y/n."
We arrive at the room and I head into the bathroom to get changed. As I'm walking over to Remus' bed I notice an open book, some parchment and a quill laying out on his desk. I walk over to look at it and it turns out to be unfinished notes. I sit down on his desk chair and finish up the notes. He's done the same for me and I feel the need to repay him.
I finish writing notes for Remus and leave them in a neat pile on his desk. I go over to Remus' bed and fall asleep almost instantly. Who knew running around all night with a werewolf, stag, rat and dog would be so tiring.
~*𓃦*~
As me, James, Peter and Sirius were sitting eating breakfast I feel Remus lightly press his lips to my cheek.
"Thank you." He whispers in my ear and sits down beside me.
"I have no clue what you're talking about." I say and he smiles at me.
"So you have no clue as to how the notes I had begun writing are suddenly completed?" Remus asks jokingly.
"Nope," I say with a small smirk. "No clue."
Remus kisses me on the cheek again.
"I love you." He says and before I can respond Sirius decides to speak.
"You two are disgusting." He says and I smirk at him.
"Shut up Sirius," Lily says as she sits down on the empty seat beside James. "I think they're adorable." Alice sits down on the other side of Lily and Marlene takes the empty seat beside me.
"More adorable than us?" James asks.
"Nobody is more adorable than us." Lily assures him.
James and Lily are officially boyfriend and girlfriend and it made me really happy that they are both happy together. I'll admit, they are really cute together but nobody is cuter than me and Remus.
"Oh really ?" I ask sassily and Lily looks over at me.
"Yeah really." She says.
"Wanna bet?" I say and hear Remus groan quietly.
"Why must you always be so competitive?" He asks. "Does it really matter who the cutest couple is?"
"Yes." Me and Lily say at the same time.
"Its definitely me and Lily." James says. "I'm adorable on my own but with Lily I'm like seven million times cuter."
"Seven million times zero is still zero James." I say and James gives me a fake offended look.
"Need some ice for that burn James?" Sirius asks while holding an ice cube that I don't understand how he got but I'm not going to question him, I'm guessing he picked it up out of his glass of lemonade or something.
James playfully punches Sirius on the arm and Sirius throws the ice cube at him in retaliation.
"Everyone here is a child." I hear Remus mutter under his breath and I laugh quietly.
~*𓃦*~
"No, me and James are so much cuter than you two." Lily argues as we sit in the common room.
"Are you two really still having that argument?" Remus asks as he kisses me on the cheek and sits down beside me on the couch.
"Yes," I answer. "We are so much cuter than James and Lily but somebody wont admit it."
"I'm not admitting it if its not true." Lily says. Remus groans and leans back on the couch.
"You're both being ridiculous." Remus says.
Before either of us have a chance to reply, James and Sirius come into the common room and sit down beside us.
"What were you two up to?" I ask.
"Nothing." James and Sirius say simultaneously and I look at them sceptically.
"What were you three up to?" Sirius asks.
"These two were arguing over the cuter couple again," Remus answers. "I was sitting here questioning why I even came down into the common room."
"Really?" James asks. "Its obvious that me and Lily are cuter."
"James, please don't encourage them to continue this silly argument." Remus says but I'm pretty sure none of us are actually listening to him.
"Sirius, what do you think?" James asks and we all turn to face Sirius.
"Ummm...." Sirius says, looking between James and I. "I think me and James are the cuter couple."
"Nuh uh." I argue. "Me and Lily are so much cuter than you two."
"You are not." James argues.
"We definitely are." Lily says.
"Absolute children." I hear Remus mutter under his breath.
"Remus help us," James says. "Me and Sirius or Y/n and Lily. Who is the cuter couple?"
"I am not answering that question." Remus says and stands up. "I'm leaving." He kisses me on the cheek. "Its definitely Lily and Y/n though."
He quickly walks away to his room as James and Sirius yell stuff like "Unfair", "Biased", "Traitor" and "Its like you don't love me anymore." (that last one was Sirius and he said it very dramatically).
I watch him leave with a smirk on my face. I love that goofy idiot so much.
~*𓃦*~
The boys and I head down to breakfast. I watch in amusement as James and Sirius jokingly bicker about something stupid.
We arrive at the Great Hall and sit down. James and Sirius' joke argument stops so we can eat breakfast in peace (or as much peace as possible in a room full of people).
The owls come in with the mail, and as usual I don't pay any attention to it, knowing no letters will be for me.
From the corner of my eye I see Remus smile as he gets a letter, probably from his mum. I watch as his smile fades. I look over at him in concern as I notice tears forming in his eyes. James, Sirius and Peter are too invested in their own conversation to notice anything.
"Rem?" I ask softly.
He suddenly stands up, quickly walking out of the Great Hall.
"What's wrong with him?" James questions.
"I'll go find out," I say. "If we end up missing class could you guys please take notes for us."
Sirius groans. "So I'm going to actually have to do work instead of just stealing yours?"
"Yup." I answer, standing up and following after Remus.
I walk through the halls and don't find him, so I head up to his dorm.
I find him lying on his bed, a blank expression on his face as he stares up at the ceiling, the letter still in his hand.
"Remus?" I ask quietly. "What happened?"
He doesn't answer, instead he begins crying again.
I quickly walk over, sitting down beside him.
"Is there any way I can make you feel better? I hate seeing you upset."
He just shakes his head.
I take his hand, hoping it'll bring him even a little bit of comfort.
I sit with him as he cries, gently rubbing circles on the back of his hand.
After a while he stops crying, his head comes to rest on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry." He mumbles.
"For what? Having emotions?"
He sighs. "I don't know."
"Do you want to talk about whatever it is that's upset you?" I ask. "I understand if you don't though."
"My mum was diagnosed with cancer." He mumbles.
"Oh, well that- that sucks." I mutter, not fully understanding what that is.
"You're confused, aren't you?" Remus asks.
"A little," I admit. "Sorry."
"Don't apologise, I know that you don't really know much about stuff like this," He says. "But it's a muggle disease and isn't good, a lot of people die from it."
"That does explain why you're upset," I say. "I'm so sorry, your mum is great, she doesn't deserve this."
Remus just nods slightly and cuddles into me.
"You wanna just skip class today?" I ask, gently running my hands through his hair.
"Yeah, I don't feel like doing anything," He says before groaning. "But we should go to class, we need to take notes and what if we miss something important and-"
"Shush," I interrupt him. "Don't worry about that right now. I told James, Sirius and Peter to actually take notes, so we won't miss anything."
"James' writing is illegible, Sirius' notes are usually so covered in doodles you can't see most of the words and Peter's make no sense half the time."
"You are right, we should just ask Lily."
"That would be better."
Remus and I spend the rest of the day cuddled up in bed, James brings us up some lunch so we don't need to leave the room.
I do my best to take Remus' mind off his mum, I hate seeing him upset.
James, Sirius and Peter come up sometimes after class finishes and we all spend time together.
As expected, James Sirius and Peter's notes were a horrific mess, so I'll have to remember to ask Lily for them later.
The next day was thankfully Saturday, so Remus and I once again spent the day cuddled up in his bed, but now without the worry of schoolwork.