Remus and I don't get any time alone for the rest of the holidays, James and Sirius were always around, so we didn't have any time to talk.
And soon we were back at King's Cross, getting on the Hogwarts Express.
We meet up with Peter and go to find a compartment. Remus comes with us to drop off his trunk but has to leave to head to the prefects compartment.
We sit down and James, Sirius and Peter instantly begin discussing prank ideas for this year, most of which are way too extravagant and entirely impossible, but who am I to try and stop them from doing something stupid, especially if it will end in disaster and therefore be funny as fuck.
Remus soon returns, smiling at me as he sits down beside me.
"Hi." He says.
"Hey." I respond.
"So, what are they talking about?"
"I actually have no idea, I seem to have learned how to block out their voices, it's a useful skill, they're annoying as hell."
Remus chuckles. "Fair enough."
Neither of us speak for a moment, an awkward silence falling over us, though it wasn't actually silent due to the fact that James is apparently the loudest human on earth.
Remus speaks up first. "We still haven't talked about- well, you know."
"Yeah," I respond. "How about after dinner?"
Remus nods.
"If we can sneak away from them." He nods his head towards James, Sirius and Peter.
"They're easily distracted, we could get them started on some prank idea and they wouldn't even notice us leave."
"That's actually a good idea." Remus says.
"Why do you seem surprised?" I ask offendedly.
"I didn't mean it like that." He laughs quietly.
"Mhm, sure, meanie."
Remus just chuckles.
~*𓃦*~
The train ride seems to go on forever but we soon arrive at Hogsmeade station and get into the carriages that will take us to Hogwarts.
We arrive at the school and sit down in the Great Hall, impatiently sitting through the sorting ceremony so we can finally eat.
The meal was amazing as always, and after me, James, Sirius and Peter head up to the common room while Remus has to help out with the first years.
We hang out in the common room, I don't really pay much attention as the boys speak, I just wait for Remus to arrive.
He soon shows up, his eyes meeting mine as he sits down with us.
"So, how are we escaping?" I whisper to him.
"No clue," He responds. "It's not even like we could pretend to go to the library like we usually do to get away from them, it's not open right now."
"We could wait until tonight," I say. "I hate having to keep putting off having this conversation, but there's likely no way we're getting rid of them."
"Or, consider this, we kill them." He jokes, making me smile.
"Sure, I'm in."
After hanging out in the common room for a while, we head up to our dorms. Remus and I plan on meeting back down in the common room in an hour, so I talk with Lily, Alice and Marlene for a little bit. The girls soon decide to go to bed though, and I pretend to do the same, but secretly just stare at the clock on the wall until it's time to head downstairs.
I quietly sneak out of the room and walk down to the common room.
The room is empty, which is honestly rather eerie. Its weird to see the common room empty, it just feels wrong, and kinda like I'm going to be murdered.
Yep, I've gone insane.
I'm taken away from my weird thoughts when I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. I turn around and smile when I see Remus - and thankfully not a murderer.
"Hey." I say.
"Hi." He responds.
We go sit down on the couch and sit in an awkward silence, neither of us looking at each other.
"Well, this conversation is going great." I mumble sarcastically, breaking the silence.
"Yep." Remus nods.
"So, what the hell are we going to do about us kissing?" I ask.
"I- I don't know," Remus says, seeming shocked by my bluntness. "But I do know that I really like you."
"I really like you too," I respond. "But this is terrifying. I mean, what if we decide to get together, but it doesn't work out and we end up breaking up and then things are awkward between us?"
"You're overthinking this just a little bit too much."
"But what if it happens?" I ask, tears forming in my eyes slightly. "I can't lose you, you're my best friend."
"Okay, I get that," He says softly, taking my hand. "But what if it does work out? Or why don't we just not let things be awkward if we do breakup?"
"Remus, it's us, we're awkward."
He chuckles. "Alright, fair point."
I take a deep breath, trying to collect my thoughts and figure out what I want.
But it's clear in my mind what I want.
I want Remus.
I want to be with him.
I don't want to let my stupid fears and anxieties get in the way of that.
Screw it, I think to myself before kissing him.
He freezes up in shock for a second but quickly kisses me back.
Once we pull apart from the kiss we don't move much, our faces remain close together.
"So?" Remus mumbles, his face red - mine probably is too.
"I want to be with you." I say quietly and a huge smile appears on his face.
"I want to be with you too."
I kiss him again, this time he kisses back instantly.
"Well, that was nice." I mumble once we pull apart and Remus laughs quietly before pressing a small kiss to my cheek, which makes me smile widely.
"We probably should get to bed," He says. "It's late and we need to be up early tomorrow."
"Nah." I say, resting my head on his shoulder.
"Y/n," He laughs. "You need to go to bed."
"Nope." I cuddle closer to him.
"Y/n."
"But cuddles."
He chuckles but wraps his arms around me, tightly hugging me for a moment before letting go.
"Now go to bed." He says and I pout.
"Ugh, fine," I jokingly groan, standing up from the couch. "You're mean."
Remus stands up too. "I know, I'm the meanest."
He pulls me in for one last hug, pressing a small kiss to the top of my head.
"I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight."
We go our separate ways, heading up to our own dorms to sleep. I fall asleep with a huge smile on my face.
The next morning I wake up and get ready for the first day of classes.
I head down to the common room, but they boys aren't there. Those assholes went to breakfast without me, how rude.
I then go to the Great Hall, spotting the boys and sitting down beside Remus.
"Thanks for waiting on me, you meanies." I say, grabbing myself some breakfast.
"Well, we were hungry." James says.
"Yeah, you shouldn't've took forever to get ready." Sirius adds.
"I didn't even take that long." I argue.
"We didn't even think about waiting for you to be honest." Sirius says.
"Gee, thanks." I say sarcastically.
James, Sirius and Peter begin talking about some random nonsense.
"Hey," Remus says quietly to me. "Sorry for not waiting for you."
I laugh quietly. "I was just joking around, I'm not actually upset, don't worry."
He smiles. "Good. By the way, I haven't told them about... y'know, last night's conversation. Should we tell them?"
"It'll be best to not tell them for a while, they're nosy and annoying, and if we decide it's better if we just stay as friends and break up, it'll be annoying if they get involved."
"Fair point," He nods. "So, should we just keep it to ourselves for a few months, figure out what we're doing, and then eventually tell them?"
"Yeah, if you're okay with that."
He nods again. "It makes sense, but it means I won't be able to cuddle you in public and that sucks."
I laugh lightly, probably blushing.
"What the hell are you two so smiley about?" James asks, ruining the moment.
"None of your business." I answer and he narrows his eyes, looking between Remus and I.
He doesn't get to question it more as McGonagall comes round to hand out our timetables.
I look over what classes I have and I'm happy to see I have all the same classes as Remus except one, muggle studies. Remus, being a half-blood, doesn't feel the need to take the class, but Sirius and I took it last year just to piss off mum and now we actually both quite like it.
The first class we have today is potions.
I can't be bothered dealing with school and it's only day one. Great start to the year.
Remus and I walk side by side as James, Sirius and Peter bounce about ahead of us.
"How the hell do they have so much energy this early in the morning?" I question aloud.
"No clue." Remus shrugs. "James even went on a run this morning. Like seriously, who the hell wakes up earlier than they have to and runs. It's weird."
"I know right," I agree. "Maybe he's a psychopath."
"Maybe? There's doubt? He's definitely a psychopath." Remus says and I laugh.
"I can hear you both, y'know." James says, turning around for a second to glare at us.
"Love you James." I say.
"Yeah, love you too dumbass." He responds before continuing with whatever he was talking with Sirius and Peter about.
Remus chuckles. "You two have a weird friendship."
"Yep."
We arrive at class and sit down near the back of the room.
Slughorn begins talking, just telling us what we're going to be learning this year, going on about how we're taking our O.W.L's this year and how important those our for our future. Blah blah blah.
I can tell we're going to get a talk like this in every class.
Godrick, this is so boring.
I end up zoning out, not wanting to listen to all this.
Luckily, the class is soon over. But that just means there's even more boring classes to go to. Yay.
~*𓃦*~
Quidditch try-outs are held and the captain insists the whole team is here to give their input. We need a new chaser and a seeker because the people who were in that position last year graduated.
I'm actually pretty excited about this because Marlene is trying out for the chaser position and I think it would be so cool if she got in, mostly because we'd get to spend more time together but also because she's a badass and it'd be amazing to have her on the team.
There's not many people trying out, and the majority of people and trying out for the seeker position, so that means Marlene has even more of a chance.
I sit on the ground and watch everyone who is trying out. It's quite entertaining actually, usually I'm the one playing quidditch, its peaceful to be the one watching it for once.
When it's Marlene's turn, I excitedly cheer her on, which I can see makes her laugh.
Once she's finished, I rush over to her and give her a high-five.
"You did great," I say.
"Really?"
"Yes. And if you don't get on the team, I will riot."
She just laughs at me.
Eventually, the try-outs are done and everyone is free to leave.
Just as I'm about to go, the captain calls me over.
"Y/n, you and Marlene are pretty close, right?" He asks.
"Yeah, why?" I question.
"Well, I feel like the team works best when the chasers all have a connection. Like how you and James work great together."
"I'm quite sure that's actually just because I enjoy throwing things at him, but yeah, sure, your theory makes sense too."
He stares at me blankly for a moment. "Yeah, well anyways, Marlene did do really well, and I feel she'd probably work great with you and James. So feel free to tell her that she's on the team."
I cant help but smile widely.
"Awesome."
That night, the girls and I hang out and celebrate Marlene making the team. I'm so happy for her, this is gonna be great.
~*𓃦*~
I don't pay much attention as we walk down to the greenhouses for Herbology.
It's rainy today and I don't want to be outside at all, this is perfect reading weather, it would be so nice to be curled up on an armchair in the common room, reading as I listen to the sound of the rain hitting the windows.
"You're daydreaming about reading again, aren't you?" Remus questions amusedly, snapping me out of my daze.
"I cant help it," I say.
"Nerd," James says, nudging my arm.
"Piss off," I respond jokingly, pushing him back. "Go run ahead like you usually do."
"Nah, I'm annoying you more by being near you and it's fun."
"I hate you."
"I hate you too."
"Sirius, start talking to James about random crap so he focuses on that instead of annoying me," I plead.
"No, this is amusing," Sirius responds.
"I need new friends," I grumble jokingly.
"Nah, you love us really Y/n," James says, annoying throwing his arm over my shoulder.
"Do I?"
"Yep."
"Alright, if you say so."
The conversation comes to an end as we reach the greenhouse.
"Alright class, today we will be revising Mandrakes. They will come up in your O.W.L exams, so we will refresh your knowledge since it has been a while since you last learned about them."
I have to contain my excitement, not because we're learning about Mandrakes again - that's boring - but because mandrake leaves are one of the ingredients we need for the animagus potions. I thought we'd likely have to break in here at some point but this works out perfectly, when we're working with them I can just grab a few leaves.
We're told to partner up and so I obviously work with Remus.
All we're doing is repotting them, like we did a few years ago.
I pull off a few leaves after repotting mine, carefully putting them in the pocket of my robes.
"Why are you taking the leaves?" Remus asks, noticing this. Fuck, I didn't think this through.
"I find mandrakes interesting," I lie with a shrug. "I want to see if the leaves are used for anything cool."
"Why the sudden interest in Herbology?"
I shrug again and he seems to decide not to question it any more.
"So, do you want to go to the library later?" He asks, changing the subject.
"That depends, would it be to study or would it be to not study?" I ask amusedly.
He goes red and looks away.
"Your choice," He responds, still not looking at me.
I glance around for a second, making sure nobody is looking before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.
"So, making out in the library it is then?" He questions.
"Mhm."
"I do have prefect rounds tonight though," He says, finally looking at me again and I notice his face is less red now. "So we won't be able to... not study for too long."
"Outrageous."
He chuckles.
I look over at James when I hear him call my name. He's waving his arms around trying to get my attention.
"I kinda just want to ignore him," I say to Remus.
"I'm quite sure he's impossible to ignore," He responds.
"Yeah, he's a pain in the ass," I sigh. "I'll be back in a minute."
"Try not to kill him."
"Nah, I won't kill him. Not here at least. Too many witnesses," I joke and he laughs as I begin walking over to James.
"What were you two laughing about?" He questions.
"None of your business," I respond. "What do you want?"
"We need mandrake leaves for the potion right?"
"Yes, I've already grabbed a few," I say. "Is that all you called me over here for?"
"Yep," He nods. "But in my defence, I didn't know you remembered we need them."
"Okay, well I'm leaving again, bye bitch."
Before he can respond I've already walked off, back over to Remus.
"So, what was that about?" He asks.
"Absolutely nothing," I respond. "I'm quite sure James was put on this earth just to annoy the hell out of me."
"Well, he has definitely dedicated many hours of his life to annoying you."
"And yet he's one of my best friends."