Session 1
"What's your favorite thing to do, Peter?" Ayo asked the boy as they sat down on some comfortable benches, just in front of the lake.
Peter blinked. That was not a question he was expecting to be asked. Didn't they ask things like 'how are you feeling in this moment?' And 'what makes you worry the most?' in therapy?
"Um...I like to watch movies with Tony? I like the old ones, like Aliens and uh- Empire Strikes Back." Peter said, eyes glued to his feet.
"That sounds nice. Anything else?"
Peter looked up at the lake, squeezed his eyes shut and looked back at his lap. He did that quite often.
"I like to draw."
"You draw? That's interesting. I've always wanted to learn how to draw, but I'm no good." Ayo said with a smile. Peter knew he was supposed to laugh, but he couldn't.
"What about swimming? Maybe you could go in the lake one day." She said and gestured to it. Peter didn't look at it again.
"I don't swim." Peter said, a little more blunt than intended.
Be polite
He didn't want to disobey Tony, so he shifted in his seat and tried to mend what he said.
"I-I don't like swimming. The water...it's...I just don't like it." He said with a cough and finally looked up at Ayo, who was nodding her head slowly in thought. She was already looking at him, and probably had been the whole time. It made Peter's face heat up in shame when he realized how rude he was being. After all, she was just trying to help.
"Why don't you like the water, Peter?" She asked. She told herself to ask the personal questions once Peter seemed to actually be engaged in the conversation, which he seemed to be now.
Peter thought about the answer to the question. He knew he couldn't avoid it because this was therapy. He couldn't just shrug it off and say 'it's just not my thing' because that's not what he's there to do.
"It's...it's a fear of mine, cuz they...they put me in water a lot...y'know...when I was with HYDRA." Peter answered reluctantly, almost choking on the words.
"Well, that seems like a pretty rational reason." Ayo said with a nod. "Would you like to know what my hobbies are, Peter?"
Session 2
The first session of therapy was over. It was much more different than Peter thought it would be. They basically just sat there and got to know each other, there was only one or two personal questions.
The next therapy session a day later was a bit more progressive.
"Do you ever think about suicide, Peter?"
Peter thought about the question for a few moments. "Not really. I mean...I have. But I don't think much about it anymore."
"You have?"
"Yes. In captivity. When they were doing experiments on me...or torturing me, I would think to myself. Like...what if I just stayed under water longer than they wanted me to? Or, what if I just grab the taser or the knife from them and do it myself? I wanted to escape, and I knew I wasn't going to. So I opted for another plan. I mean, suicide is a form of escape after all."
Ayo listened carefully to Peter's words.
"And you haven't thought about it since then?"
Peter swallowed.
"Um...well there was a moment after Richard's return. Well...a few days after I almost killed him." Peter's sentence broke off as the memories came back to him and he coughed the roughness of his voice away. He tried not to cry before continuing. "Everything just...everything felt so real all of a sudden. Y'know? Like my life...I came to a realization in that moment that...I'm not normal. My life isn't normal. Nothing about me is normal. And I wanted it to end."
He looked up at Ayo in anxiousness. He was surprised at how easily he opened up to her, and he was terrified of her reaction.
But she simply nodded, and said, "I see."
Peter decided that he liked that response.
Session 3
"Peter, do you know what PTSD is?" Ayo asked.
Peter knew that he should, but all he knew about PTSD was that it was some sort of mental illness. He had been locked away as he was growing up, so he never really learnt what it was or how it worked.
"Not really."
Ayo hummed and continued. "It stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." Peter took in the words. He let out a deep breath.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Well, the name kind of speaks for itself. Peter decided to break the words down just to stall himself from answering.
Post means after. And then there was the traumatic stress. Peter voiced his thoughts.
"So, it's...the stress you feel after a traumatic event?" He asked uncertainly. But Ayo nodded, calming his nerves.
"Exactly. It can come in any form. Nightmares, panic or anxiety attacks...or maybe just a simple horrible feeling." She said. Peter slowly turned to the lake again and swallowed.
"Do you recognize PTSD in yourself?" Ayo asked, now that Peter knew what it was. The boy looked back at her.
"Yes. I get nightmares a lot." He started. "And...whenever my spidey sense goes off. Because it went haywire when I was taken. So...every time I feel it...I think they're back."
"And what do you feel when you look at the lake? What do you see?"
Peter turns to look at the lake again.
"It's..." He trialed off, not knowing what to say. "I feel like I can't breathe. And...and it's cold." He decided to go with.
"And I see him." He finished before turning back to Ayo.
"Who?"
"Anton. Richard."
"It must've been quite scary for you."
"I stopped being so scared after a while. After I stopped talking and...after I stopped trying to plan how to um...how to kill myself. I guess I kind of became numb." Peter said, and his mind went somewhere else. He stared at the ground in thought, thinking back to the day he was rescued.
"But then one day everything was suddenly so...loud. They never made that much noise before, but I could hear screaming and shouting and...explosions. And for the first time in a long time...I was terrified."
"And then what happened?"
"And then the door opened. And I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Then Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff were stood in the room. Of course, at the time I forgot who they were, so I had no idea they were intending on rescuing me. It just made me even more scared."
"But then Tony came up to me and...said nice things. He tried to get me to talk...he didn't know I was mute. He took me outside and had Bruce Banner fix me up. And then he just...sat with me. And I suddenly felt...I felt like everything might be okay."
Ayo smiled once Peter finished, even though she looked like she was trying to hide it.
"You went through something terrible. All that pain and misery, and loss. Then you were saved. Tony is your light at the end of the tunnel, I suppose. It shows that what you're going through right now, won't be so bad for long. You'll find another light, and your friends and family will help you reach it." Ayo said with certainty.
Peter blinked. Had she planned this whole conversation? Wow.
"Huh...you're good." Peter whispered before he could stop himself, earning a small laugh from Ayo.
The session soon ended, and Peter did what he usually did after them. He walked around the woods for some alone time and to think about his session that he just had, and then returned to his hut.
But this time, there was someone else in the woods. He jumped in surprise before calming his racing heart beat.
"Oh- Um, hi Shuri. Sorry...you scared me." Peter coughed and faltered in his steps. She let out a loud laugh and stepped over to Peter so she was walking with him.
"Didn't mean to scare you. I just haven't seen you in a few days and I was just wondering how your sessions are going?" She asked as Peter finally moved his legs.
"Oh...uh, yeah, they're good. They're okay." Peter said, his throat suddenly turning dry.
"That's good. Are you feeling like you're making any progress at all?"
Peter listened to Shuri talk and suddenly felt a pang in his heart. If he could see Tony, he would imagine their conversation going a little bit like this. He wanted to imagine it was him walking next to him instead of Shuri, but that would be mean. Besides, Shuri seemed nice and she actually wanted to get to know Peter. But geez, he missed Tony so much. It left a longing sitting on his chest like a burden, making his whole body ache.
"I think so...maybe? I don't know. It's too soon to tell I guess."
"That's okay. You'll get there eventually." She said with a reassuring smile. Peter smiled back.
They talked for a little longer after that before they parted ways and Peter went back to his hut. When he did, he found pieces of paper and sketching pencils placed neatly on his bed. He looked back outside his hut to see if he could make out who put them there, but no one was to be seen.