"Hey man, is that everything?" Jeff asked, as he prepared to close the van doors.
"Yeah," Eddie answered, glancing behind him. "I think that's it."
"How far is this drive?" asked Gareth. "I've never even heard of this town."
"It's about two hours," Eddie answered. "Look, it's a paying gig and we can't pass that up. I know it's a bit of a ride, but besides the Hideout on Tuesdays, we have to take every opportunity we can get if we have any hope of being more than some townie band."
"Yeah, but Bryxton, Ohio? Who's even heard of that place? Is it some tiny little podunk town?" Gareth scoffed. "How in the hell did we get a gig there?"
"A buddy of mine," Eddie replied, lighting up a cigarette, "his name is Jacob. He opened this club, Eclectic, there. It's not as small of a town as you think. It's a college town so they draw in all the co-eds looking for a good time and some good music. I used to work with him a couple years back at the garage. Anyway, he gave me a call, said he's trying to get some new music in there instead of the same old bands that always play to try and gather more of a crowd. He offered us two hundred and fifty bucks, man, to play Friday and Saturday. He's also covering our motel room so we don't have to take that out of our pay. We can't say no to that."
"No, I agree," Jeff nodded. "It was just so out of left field, but I'm down."
"Alright, so road trip in the morning?" smiled Eddie. "I will see you guys back here bright and early. I'm thinking we will get on the road around eleven. Make sure we have plenty of time to get there, check into our room, and get to the club. We have to be there by five for soundcheck."
"I love how you think eleven is bright and early," laughed Gareth.
"Hey, I am a working stiff these days," Eddie protested. "I am up by eight in the morning most days for work. But eleven is bright and early for me on a day off. Alright buttheads, I will see you tomorrow."
"Okay," they agreed, heading off.
Eddie headed back into his trailer. He lived in the same trailer park he had lived in since he was a kid. But between gigs and his job at the garage, he had been able to move out of Uncle Wayne's trailer and get his own. It had been a proud day for him. Sure, it wasn't much, but it was his and that counted for something. It was definitely more than most people had ever expected from him.
He was beyond grateful for Uncle Wayne. That man had stepped up for him when no one else did. His mom had taken off when he was five. He had no idea where she was, and honestly, he didn't care. She hadn't thought twice about him over the years, so why should he waste his time wondering about her? His dad, well, he knew exactly where his dad was. He was serving time, again, this time for assault and battery on his newest girlfriend as well as dealing heroin.
Yeah, his family was quite the train wreck and that was putting it mildly. He had grown up knowing how this entire town saw him. He was the lowlife, the dirtbag, the freak. He saw the looks the older people gave him as he walked by with his long hair and tattoos, metal band patches all over his vest that he had sewn himself on the thrift store clothes they could afford. He heard the whispers from the kids at school about his parents and how he was trailer trash. He heard people saying that he must worship Satan just because he enjoyed playing a fantasy game with his friends and listened to heavy metal.
There had only ever been one person who saw past it all and made him feel like he could be more than what others saw. There had only been one person who had ever truly believed he was worth more, that he was capable of more. But she was long gone now, lost to him forever. She escaped him and this sad excuse for a life, and he couldn't blame her. What would he have had to offer her? Living in a shitty trailer trying to survive paycheck to paycheck as he scraped money together? That was no life for someone like her. No, she was better off being as far from him as possible.
Reaching in the fridge, he grabbed a beer, cracked it open, and had just sat on the couch, ready to lose himself in whatever was on tv when there was a knock on his door.
"Hang on," he called, heading over. He opened it to find Dustin Henderson, his favorite little buddy, standing on the other side.
"Eddie," Dustin grinned.
"Henderson!" he yelled, pulling him into a hug. "Long time, no see. What are you doing here, man? Come in. You want something to drink?"
"Uh, yeah. I'll have one of those," he said, pointing to Eddie's beer.
"Nice try," he scoffed, shaking his head. "You aren't old enough yet kiddo."
"I'm eighteen," he groaned. "Come on, Eddie. What's the big deal? I know you drank beer when you were my age, among other things."
"Yeah, well, you shouldn't try to be like me," Eddie replied, shaking his head, waving his arm to indicate the trailer around him. "I mean, look around you. Is this really what you want to aspire to?"
"I don't know," Dustin shrugged. "It doesn't seem so bad. You have your own place where nobody can tell you what to do. You get to make your own decisions and rules. You get to play music for a living. From where I stand, your life looks pretty damn good."
"Yeah, playing music doesn't pay all the bills, little man. That's not my only job. I also work at the garage, remember?"
"I know, but still. You get to spend your life doing what you love to do. Most people can't say that. Most people hate what they do and dread going to work," Dustin said. "I don't think being like you sounds so bad."
Eddie sighed, flopping back on the couch and Dustin joined him. He had been wrong. There was one other person who made him feel like somebody, who believed he was worth something more, and he was sitting right next to him. Dustin had always looked up to him. He had this way of making Eddie feel ten feet tall. That was something he'd never felt before this curly headed kid came bounding in his life.
"So, not that I am not happy to see you, kid, but what brings you over so late?" Eddie asked, spreading out his legs, draping his arm over the back of the couch.
"Umm...well, you told me you had a gig out of town, right?" he asked, biting his lower lip.
Eddie's brow furrowed, wondering what had the kid so nervous. "Yeah, we're leaving in the morning."
Dustin leaned forward, his eyes focused on the coffee table in front of him. "You said it's in Bryxton, right?"
"Yeah, man, what are you getting at?"
"Bryxton isn't ringing any bells for you?" Dustin asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, why would..." Eddie trailed off as it suddenly hit him. He cringed. "Oh...shit."
"Yeah. Oh shit," Dustin agreed.
Eddie leaned back against the couch, covering his face with his hands. How could he have forgotten? He thought Bryxton sounded familiar to him when Jacob called and asked. He was so excited about a gig that paid so well, he didn't give it a second thought. Why would he? He'd tried so hard to not think about her for the last three years. He'd tried to shove anything to do with her out of his mind.
"Does she know?" he murmured.
"Does she know what?" asked Dustin.
"Does she know my band is coming to her town?" Eddie asked.
"I haven't told her," Dustin said quickly, shaking his head. "I talked to her yesterday on the phone. I didn't say anything about you. We talked about her classes and her friends and stupid, annoying Brian."
"Brian?" inquired Eddie, his voice strained. It felt like a rock had just dropped in his stomach. He didn't want to know but he needed to know.
"Uh, yeah." Dustin looked away, realizing he maybe should have shut his mouth. "Brian is uh...well, he's her boyfriend."
"Oh..." he breathed quietly.
"Well, I mean...Eddie, it's been three years since you've seen each other," Dustin stated, holding his hands out in front of him. "What did you expect? That she would stay single forever? I mean, I think Brian is stupid and boring. I don't know why she bothers with him. He was so annoying this summer, trying to be my best friend. Like we would have anything in common. He's going to be a doctor or some stupid shit and he plays basketball. He kept asking me to go shoot baskets with him. He doesn't know anything about D&D and he wears polo shirts and corduroy pants."
Eddie sat there, silent, as he digested all of this. He didn't expect her to just pine for him forever. Of course not. He also didn't think he would ever have to actually hear about her new life with some guy. He had no idea she was with someone seriously. Obviously it was serious if she had brought him home and her family had met him. No, he didn't think a girl like her would stay single for long, he had just hoped he would never have to know.
Eddie had made sure she hated him. He had made sure that door was closed and locked, not leaving a sliver of a chance for her to come back to him. She probably hadn't wasted a single minute finding someone new. He had no doubt the guys lined up for their chance. She was beautiful. She was smart. She was absolutely perfect. Any guy would be crazy not to want a shot with her. But damn, he hadn't even met the guy but he hated him. He hated him for being with her. He hated him for taking his place. He hated him for probably giving her more than Eddie ever could.
He bet her mom just loved him, a jock who was going to become a doctor. That was someone who was truly worthy of her daughter. He had thought her mom had liked him, but how wrong he had been. She must have always despised Eddie, thought he was trash that was dragging her little girl down into the muck. Though she seemed to hide it fairly well around her daughter for all those years. She had made it very clear how she felt about him in the end though.
"Okay...well," Eddie started, and then he threw his hands up, groaning. "You know what, this is stupid. What are we even worrying about? She doesn't even know that I am coming. What are the chances of her showing up to the gig? We'll go, we'll play, we'll leave, and she won't even know I was ever there. It will be fine."
"I mean, she does talk about going to see a lot of bands with her friends," Dustin said. "They're heading out to the clubs around there almost every weekend."
"Yeah, but there are, like, five different places around there that do live music on the weekends, right? It's a college town and there have to be tons of parties going on too. What are the chances of her showing up at the one place I happen to be in the whole town?" Eddie rationalized. "I bet I won't even run into her."
What he didn't say was that he really hoped he didn't. He didn't think he could see her face again and walk away unscathed. It was painful enough to say goodbye the first time. He couldn't see the hatred she felt for him flash in those eyes he loved so much again. He definitely couldn't handle seeing her happy with some other guy, even if it was what he hoped for her. He didn't know if he would survive it.
"Okay," Dustin said slowly, "you're probably right. I don't know what I was so worried about."
"Does she ever...you know what, never mind," Eddie said, shaking his head. It was probably best that he didn't know. He probably didn't want to know. What good was it going to do him now?
"What?" inquired his little curly headed friend.
"Does she ever ask about me?"
Dustin looked quickly down at the floor, shaking his head. "No man. She specifically told me to never mention your name and I've respected her request. She was...she was really hurt. I can't do anything to cause her any more pain like that. We don't talk about you. I'm sorry. She's my sister, man. I love her just as much as I love you."
"Yeah, of course," he said, nodding. His throat felt tight and he was struggling to get a full breath. What did he expect? The last thing she had told him was that she hated him and she never wanted to see him again. Obviously, she didn't want to talk about him and she didn't care how he was doing.
"Okay," said Dustin, standing up. "I gotta get going. My mom will flip if I'm home too late. Good luck at your gig, okay? And I'm sorry again, man. I didn't come here to upset you. I swear. I'm just trying to look out for both of you."
"It's okay, man. Thanks," Eddie said, pulling him into a tight hug. "You get home safe, okay? And I will see you when I get back."
"Yeah," Dustin nodded, "maybe we can get the guys together and play some DnD for old times sake. We really miss our Dungeon Master."
"Of course, that sounds great."
He closed the door behind Dustin and stood for a minute, sorting through his thoughts. Jesus, this gig just became way more stressful. Pulling his wallet from his back pocket, he opened it, revealing a picture of a girl with soft, curly brown hair, the prettiest green eyes, and the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.
"Shit," he muttered, pressing his forehead against the door.