Parenthood. It's the toughest job a person can do. Seeing my mother bring me up alone was heartbreaking enough and now seeing Dalia being brought up with just Elijah, I feel the heartache for both of them. It's like I'm seeing my own childhood in Dalia's life. That sweet innocent child growing up with a single parent and not having a clue about a single thing in life.
But nevertheless, the way I've already seen Elijah take care of her, no other parent can match. It's true what I found out, he prioritises Dalia over his mafia. And it's a promise to myself and to them that I will do everything in my power to keep them together forever.
I'm back at my apartment but everything feels so empty. Without my mother here, nothing feels the same. I live alone, eat alone, sleep alone - everything I do is alone. Aurelia does come here often to check up on me but when she doesn't it's like my world is crumbling. Everyone sees me as the bubbly Scarlett, the outgoing lawyer but like they say never judge a book by its cover.
I'm currently going through Elijah's case, reading more about his background. But as I do, all I can think about is our meeting. The way he spoke in a delicate manner yet egotistic way, his smile every time he found something amusing and the look he expresses whenever he talked to Dalia.
"Elijah Miller what could you be hiding?" I mutter to myself as I repeatedly scan over the words in front of me. Despite telling me he had no illegal activities, some part of me thinks he does. These files don't say much other than mentioning what businesses he owns and that he runs the mafia. Of course, he'd be hiding everything that I don't want to know.
Just even running the mafia is somewhat illegal. People fear him which is why they don't dare to cross his way. But why get the court involved? This frustrates me. He's a complicated man and if I don't get enough evidence, then this custody case will go the other way round.
And on other hand, my mind is still with my mother. I haven't been back to the hospital and my heart yearns. If she woke up, Marissa would've called me and because she hasn't I feel like drowning. To see her eyes open and stay conscious is all I want, to see her attend my court hearings is the one thing I've always wanted but when I see her suffering on the hospital bed, I don't know what I want anymore.
Not being able to think straight, I decided to go out and get some fresh air. Sometimes, I don't know where I end up. I walk into the unknown and come back to the loneliness. New York in the evenings is like being in a whole other world. Just being here is surreal and it's like my dream come true. Moving from London to here was hard to even think about but getting away from your nightmares, you have to do anything to protect yourself.
As I walk, I watch how each building almost races up fighting to be the tallest in the city. New York screams upbeat and fast-paced life and keeping up with is chaotic. Watching the people rush through the busy streets, and cross the lights makes it lively here. Yet I, I still somehow live in a bubble with my nightmare still following and as much as I try to chase away from it, it doesn't leave me.
I have no idea where I was going. The streets of New York can lead you anywhere and when you reach your destination it's like a new place you have never visited. And maybe, my life will always be like this, reaching an unknown location and never finding a place to call home. And maybe, I'll do it alone for the rest of my life.
---
I end up on a rooftop of some restaurant, the manager letting me since I come here a lot. Staring into the starry night and the lit-up buildings, my whole world stops for a moment and makes me forget about my hectic life.
It's always been a habit of mine of running away from everything around me. It's something I've been doing as a child. Get told off, I would run to my room, made fun of at school, I would go run to the bathroom, getting hurt, I would run to the park and whenever I used to hear my mother argue with that man, I would run to comfort her.
And now in my 23 years of living, no one runs for me.
"Miss feisty, we meet again but under different circumstances." I know that voice. I don't even look back and I know exactly who it is. With that name, it could be only one person - Sebastian.
"If Elijah wanted me to be followed, he didn't need to send you."
Turning around, I see Sebastian in a suit walking over towards me. He scoffs, "What makes you think he wanted someone to follow you?"
"Hm let me think. Well, how about we mention he's a mafia leader and can do the hell he wants." I move along the swing since he invited himself to sit beside me.
"True but he hasn't asked anyone to follow you."
"Then why are you here at the same place I am?" Looking at him, he gives me a grin and I roll my eyes looking away.
"You don't own this place." I feel him sit back, relaxing as if he owns the place but I know he doesn't because apparently, the owner doesn't like to show themselves.
"Neither do you."
"Touché," He chuckles, "Do you know who it belongs to though?" I sit back, face him and shake my head because I had no clue.
"I don't really want to know. It's not my business to know anyways." Getting comfortable back on the swing, I notice the cheeky smile resting on his face and I know he knows who the owner is.
"Well, I'm still going to tell you-" he clears his throat and narrowing my eyes, I wait for his response, "It's the guy you're fighting his custody for." He smirks at me and now it makes sense as to why he came here.
"This- belongs to Elijah?" I question, looking around the place and then back at him.
"The one and only. Three restaurants, five clubs and running the mafia." Sebastian says proudly, praising Elijah's accomplishments. And I won't lie, it's made me impressed too. "Elijah Miller runs the streets of New York. I'm surprised at how you're not scared of him." He stresses 'not', finding it amusing what he was saying.
"So what are you trying to say? That I should be scared of him?"
"No one has ever been not scared of him. You're the first." He mentions, staring at me as if he was trying to get something out of me.
"Should I get a medal for it?" Snickering at him, he bursts out into laughter and throws his head back.
"You always have something to say back, don't you-"
"I'm a lawyer, Sebastian. I always have something to say back. Elijah can terrify me all he wants but I will never be scared."
Because last night I got scared, it didn't end well.
"Look what I'm trying to come across is that you betray him or break his trust-"
"Then I'll get killed. I think I'm familiar with the phrase." I stand up getting ready to leave, cutting him off once again which only makes him grunt. "I know you're trying to show me the good in him but I will see it myself when I work my way through this case."
"He deserves to have Dalia. She's the only thing in his life." He utters, reminding me of the exact words I heard my mother say when she was fighting for her life. She's the only thing in my life, please protect her.
"Don't you think I see it? I can see it with my own eyes that Dalia means a lot to him. I will do my best to get her all to him but at the end of the day, it's the Jury's decision." I try, try, to give him reassurance and even to myself.
"The Stanley's are not what you think."
"As I said, I will see it myself when I do my further research. This discussion we're having should only be between Elijah and me. This goes against my profession so I'm leaving." I tell him and before he could say anything else, I head downstairs.
Just even telling him that I'm going to do further research breaks my rules. I shouldn't be telling him what I'm up to. He can tell me what he wants but I can't believe it until I have the proof in front of me.
Elijah Miller is going to cause me some trouble one day and when it comes, it will put my whole career at risk. But seeing my past shadow into this present life but in Dalia's life means I'll have to put everything at risk.
Entering the restaurant to leave, I look around the place and finally understand where the dahlia flower painting came from. He associates the flower with his daughter and this restaurant is for her. Maybe Sebastian is right. Maybe everything that the Stanleys reported is false and just want Elijah behind bars.
But I can't let it get to me. Once these thoughts get into me, my whole mind spins and then I can't think straight. It only puts my win for the case at a low chance. And I made a vow to Elijah that if I don't get him full custody, then it's not who I am.
I've entered a complicated life, a menacing world and to get out of it, I have to fulfil my promise and not betray him. Because if I betray my words then I'll lose everything and my mother will lose her daughter in this world.
If I can't save myself in this whole situation, I'll save that little girl's life from the bad and keep her with her father.
And that's on my life.
a/n:
Is she going to risk it all?
What did we think?