Mature content ahead.
Chapter 18
In bed I kept on trying to figure out where we were supposed to go from here. Where was I supposed to go from here? Whatever resolve I'd had with hating him was shattered, just like that, within a few days. I couldn't pin the moment where I had opened myself to him too much. I started to think it was when I was at my weakest. I first felt it when he consoled me after what happened with Jake. But it only progressed from there.
My thoughts were interrupted when Harry came into the room. My head turned to the side and when I saw it was him I sat up and faced him anxiously. I was wondering what he could possibly have to say to me after what just happened between the two of us. I noticed he had a plate with a few brownies on it and I smiled to myself.
"I brought brownies," he said to me. I could sense that this was going to be an interesting time for us since he was acting as though we didn't just begin to make out.
I smiled and said, "Yum." I looked down shyly. This was going to be a while.
Harry closed the door behind himself and then approached the bed, sticking the plate towards me. I grabbed one and took a bite of it, not really tasting it in the moment since my mind was too focused on what was going to happen from this point on between us.
Harry walked around the bed and then got in beside me, grabbing the TV remote and turning it on. Neither of us said anything as we watched the show that was playing, blankly. I felt like I should say something since he wasn't, but what was I supposed to say? He knew we had to talk about it eventually, and ironically he was the one immaturely trying to ignore it.
I reached for another brownie, eyes on the TV. Conveniently, and in a cliché manner, I ended up touching Harry's hand. We both looked at each other and I retracted my hand slowly. His face flushed, but he tried to play it cool by smiling lightly and chuckling. He shook his head and grabbed one of the treats to eat another one.
I scrunched my nose up angrily and scoffed, getting out of the bed. Once I was up I looked at Harry with a harsh stare and crossed my arms over a chest. He seemed stunned as he looked at me with slightly wide green eyes and pursed lips. He raised his hands and asked, "What?"
I stomped my foot, maybe a bit too childishly, and demanded, "Are you serious?" My mind was blurred as I tried to find words to say, so they all spilled from my mouth without me completely processing them. "Like an hour ago you and I practically made out and all you've done in the past ten minutes is stare at that fucking TV and eat brownies!"
He glared at me, lightly and his body tensed. "You know how I feel about foul language."
"What I don't know is how you feel about me," I argued. "Or-Or how you feel about... about us." He relaxed himself a bit and sighed. "Because," I continued, "I don't think I know how I feel either. Which-Which is why I want us to talk about it." my voice was becoming a plea and he brought his legs up to his chest.
He motioned with his hand and said, "C'mere, Angel." He patted the spot I sat in moments ago beside him and I looked off, feeling angrily rebellious. I wasn't sure if I wanted to, but I knew that that was a lie. I did, because I wanted answers.
I rolled my eyes at him and got in the bed, but not without a pout on my face. I rigidly placed myself beside him and he smirked. "Come on, Angel, don't be a stranger." I almost smiled at the nickname but I wanted to be mad at him still. "Come cuddle," he said quietly.
The words made me break as a smile placed itself on my face and I hid it. I giggled silently and heard him do the same as he pulled me onto his lap all by himself. I shook my head at him, but didn't fight it. Instead I placed my head on his chest and waited for him to say something.
"In all honesty, I... I'm not one hundred percent sure about how I feel about you, either," he began. His hand brushed up and down my arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps. He continued after a pause. "That's a lie, actually." I looked up at him and he continued, "I... I think I fancy you, honestly."
All though it was a British term I wasn't oblivious to what it meant. My face heated up and my lips turned up at the corners. "You mean you have a crush on me?" I rephrased.
He looked down at me and then smiled. "Yes, Angel. I have a bit of a crush," he confirmed.
I felt slightly smug since I'd never considered a boy might possibly like me. I started high school only a year early, but still it had been weird for me to find guys my age in school in my classes at least. Even if I did, I had none of the needed courage to talk to them. The only guys I ever really talked to were my brother's friends, and even they were simply more of an extended family.
"And you?"
The question reminded me that it was my turn to confess how I felt. How did I feel? I let out a breath of air and closed my eyes. "I..." I bit my lip and then tried to explain my feelings. "I think that I do like you," I said, my words choppy. "But it's just kind of weird for me, because you, you know..." I trailed off, waiting for him to get it and he eventually grimaced.
"Yeah, that's definitely a bit of a, uh... complication," he nodded.
I laughed. Of course it was weird for me to look past the fact that he kidnapped me and stole me from my family and my life. That wasn't exactly a cute couple's background story.
"I honestly don't really know how to defend myself," he said simply.
I shrugged. "I don't know how you can, either."
-
Ever since Harry and I put out our feelings for each other, things sadly haven't exactly taken the best turn. We've sort of only awkwardly hung out around each other since that and the past two days have been irritating because of it. What I said was true. I really didn't find it appropriate to discard our past which hasn't even been a month ago, but I also didn't want to discard my feelings. I haven't ever really felt this way about any one. Harry, though, seems to have taken my words as a way of saying we shouldn't get intimate or whatever.
I wanted to take it back, but it was hard to talk to someone who seemed to constantly somehow be busy.
I sat in bed, two days later, looking for something to watch in the free movies before I came across something that definitely caught a lot of attention when it was released.
5o Shades of Grey.
Don't get me wrong, I mentally made fun of it endlessly when I heard of its existence and I didn't have interest in it really, simply because I didn't understand the attraction of sex quite yet. Not that I did now, but I was, however, interested to see what was so good about this story.
It was twelve in the afternoon, which meant that the likeliness of Harry meeting my presence was low; so I found myself playing the film. At first I was bored by it and made faces whenever she bit her lip. I didn't quite understand what was so sexual about such a simple innocent action.
My body went rigid when the actual dirty scenes began. When I saw it my eyes widened and I felt my heart beat faster. I found my head looking back and forth between the screen and the door in fear of Harry walking in to find me watching these. It would be perhaps the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me.
The movie was pretty interesting in some ways. I thought the lead girl was pretty and the male was attractive. He kind of scared me and of course he clearly had a back ground for being the way he was. The movie so far wasn't as inappropriate as I had thought it might be. They didn't show any of the lower front privates and I didn't mind.
Before I could even really process what was happening I heard Harry's voice say, "I need to change really quick..."
I saw Harry at the door with wide eyes while he looked at the screen containing one of the scenes in the red room and I gasped loudly. I flailed around, looking for the remote and turning it off as quickly as I could. My face heated up immediately and I hid it in my hands. I was too humiliated to possibly think of anything I could say to justify this.
"Angel?" I heard his voice question. I didn't reveal my face to him and I heard him continue. "Were you just watching what I think you were?"
I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. "No," I lied in a strained voice.
"Angel, look at me," he instructed.
I grimaced and then lifted my pink face to look up at him. He stared down at me and after a moment a gigantic smile spread out on his face.
He was laughing at me.
I huffed and then whined, loudly. "Shut up!" I reached up and pushed him. He did step back, but continued laughing at me. He found this situation so funny, it seemed, that he bent over and held his stomach.
I shook my head and pouted.
"Wow. This is interesting," he commented once he straightened out. He shook his head, chuckling still. "I can't believe it." he crossed his arms over his chest and then let out a sigh. The bed bounced a little as he laid himself on it, playfully "May I hear a movie review from your criteria?" he teased.
I snorted and hit him. "I don't have anything to say. Besides I haven't even finished it." I looked away, trying to avoid eye contact at all costs.
"Mhm. And how did you feel about the, uh..." I knew where the sentence was going, "the scenes of intimacy." His dimples were extremely noticeable as he grinned at me, soon suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.
I rolled my eyes at him, but then shocked him by actually answering. "Honestly?" I shook my head. "They were... interesting, to say the least, but I didn't really find it..." I shrugged, "it didn't make me like..." I didn't want to say the word that I thought of.
"What, it didn't make you horny?"
I gulped and was shocked by his blunt tone, but I nodded. "Yeah. That. I just... I guess it's hard for me to find the idea of sex alluring after..." I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, releasing the breath of air that I found.
"Don't worry, love, I know what you're talking about," he comforted. I opened my eyes and looked at him, noticing his eyes narrowed at me in a calculating way that made me frown. I didn't know quite know what was going through his head, but the way that he tapped his fingers against the bed and tilted his head at me made me nervous.
"Why are you staring at me?" I asked him forwardly.
His actions stopped and his expression relaxed; but what he did next made me cringe back, wide eyed. He got on his hands and knees and crawled to where I was and I moved back from him. His eyes were green and cunning, reminding me of a cat as he prowled towards me. Once my back was trapped against the head board I had no choice but to face him. I gulped when he stopped, his face directly in front of mine.
My hands clenched around the pillows beneath them and he spoke quietly, "Does this arouse anything in that innocent mind of yours?"
I felt as though that innocent mind that he spoke of was dead since I couldn't even think. I blinked my eyes rapidly at him, trying to find words. "Uhh, I-I-I," I stuttered. I shook my head at him.
"No?" he challenged and I felt my hands sweat. He reached a hand up to my face and he drew it down along its side, following my jawline to my chin. I felt his finger brush over my lip and he tilted his head at me again. "What if I were to kiss you?"
What? What what what what what? That one word was mostly all that came to mind, but irritatingly so the only other word I could really think of was yes.
"I..." I knew my body was reacting to everything since my skin was flushing and my breathing was erratic. "I-I...I-"
"And if I were to touch you," his hand brushed over my neck, along my collarbone, "here," and over one of my breasts to my sides, making my breath catch in my throat, "or here," he continued, feeling his hand up my bare thigh. "Does that make you feel nothing?" he questioned.
I closed my eyes and all I could think of was his warm hand on my leg and the husky sound of his voice. The way I felt wasn't anything any sex scene in a movie could bring up in me, but something that Harry alone could. With a hazy mind I kissed Harry and pushed him over so he was laying down beneath me. His eyes widened at my forcefulness, but I only brought my lips back against his own. My body rocked against his and he moaned into my mouth. When our mouths separated I squealed because of him moving me so I was now pinned beneath him.
"As much as I loved that, I'm the top," he said.
My chest was rising and falling rapidly, trying to find air and he put his lips on my neck just like those days ago, but this time I knew for a fact this was what I wanted.
"Harry," I breathed out in need. All my body focused on was him and how he made me feel. I needed more of him.
His hand wandered and I soon felt it on my thigh all over again. He rubbed circles into it while I felt a new feeling within my body. I was horny now. I closed my eyes and Harry's hand wandered even closer to where my panties covered. I felt like I should stop him, but I didn't want to. Maybe I did need this. Not simply because of what my body alone wanted, but also because I wanted it.
"Touch me," I pleaded in his ear.
He stopped sucking on my neck and then pulled back to look at me, questioningly. "You sure about that, Angel?"
I nodded in confirmation and said, "Please."
Harry stared at me for a moment, but I then felt him place his hand on the panties I wore and drag them down. He froze and stared down at me with slightly widened eyes. "Holy shit," he breathed under his breath, but I heard it. "God, you're so wet," he said out loud in a throaty groan.
I wasn't completely oblivious to what he meant since I remembered some of the things I learned in Health at school. My body had created a lubricant out of sexual excitement and Harry was shocked by it, but I wasn't completely. I was shocked by how suddenly he yanked my panties off and discarded them. I gasped and was embarrassed by the fact that I wasn't shaved. If I'd known this was going to happen, I might've actually given a shit beforehand.
Harry made no comment on the matter, what so ever. He only brought his hand against my wetness. My breathing came out even more strained while he teasingly dragged his hand up and down the slit. "My little angel is being so dirty," he said. I stared up at him with wide eyes and he shook his head, moving his body down so he was closer to my bare area. He rubbed his fingers against me and I squealed at the foreign feeling. "I love it," he said.
My whole body tensed up and I grabbed the comforter beneath me, holding onto it as my entire body weakened at the sensation. I moaned his name and bit my lip, my head fell back while I tried to clear up my mind; I gave up, knowing it was fucked.
His finger slid into me and I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut. "Harry," I whined, gripping the sheets more tightly.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, cautiously.
I shook my head at him and went, "Don't stop," breathily.
The one finger soon became two and when there were three, I wasn't sure if I could handle a fourth albeit I was handling the current ones surprisingly well. "Angel, are you almost there?" he asked me in a dark voice.
I was confused by his words. "Wait, a-am I almost where?" I asked him, a moan erupting from my mouth immediately afterwards.
"Never mind," I vaguely heard him state, still pushing his fingers in and out of me. His other hand went back to pleasing my clit and I moved my hips against him, needing more of it.
I said his name a multitude of times as the event became more and more blindingly satisfying until eventually I screamed out and fell back against the bed, tiredly. Never in my life have I ever let my body be toyed with so intimately, not even by myself and when he fell next to me, kissing me on the forehead and bringing me against him, I just knew I didn't regret it.
-
...........................wyd.
I HAVEN'T REALLY PUBLISHED SMUT IN A WHILE SO IDK IF THIS IS EVEN GOOD UM.
I can't say anything, really, I just.
GOALS:
Comments: 5
Votes: 15
Reads (book): 4.4K
Comment, vote, fan, and promote, babies, I love yoouu.
- Angie Bear (shortest A/N ever)