Not even when a particular bald and chubby police officer investigated me could I tell him why I hit that man.
I was ashamed that I let myself lose my head like that while another part of me knew that it was either that or have the man removed from the restaurant and there was a high possibility that he would have followed us.
The only thing I remembered crystal clear was the anger that took over me. I didn't know where it came from but I had a feeling that it was most of the frustration that hit me like a wave during dinner.
I held my feelings back so much that they eventually made me break a glass against a man's head.
I have never been in jail before. And I felt like a rabbit thrown to the rabbits when the officer closed the cell after pushing me inside.
The man from the restaurant was nowhere near to be found in the station where I'd been brought.
I ran my fingers through my locks while I kept staring outside, not daring to turn around. I could just only hope that my cellmates weren't that many assholes like that jerk back there.
How did I end up here? I've never hit someone, not even if they deserved it. I always remembered those times when my father would beat me for the slightest accidental things and I just wasn't able to do it.
But tonight was different. I was different.
And I didn't like this wild side of me. That was nothing like me. I should have just walked away and I wouldn't have gotten into this situation.
"Nice dress." A voice spoke behind me.
I wiped my face and turned around. There were only two people beside me. An older woman covered in tattoos and wearing dirty clothes was sleeping on the bench. She looked like had one hell of a night like I did.
On the other side, there sat a boy who looked only a few years older than me. He was wearing jeans shorts and a white T-shirt that had blood splattered on it. His black hair was wet and his dimples were visible when he smiled at me. His knuckles were also torn open but he looked like everything was just fine.
Maybe coming to jail in a bloody shirt was his usual Tuesday program for the night.
My eyes kept roaming back to his bloody shirt which made my stomach turn into a knot.
The picture of the man's shocked face as he pressed his hand against his bloody head just kept replaying in my mind over and over.
When he noticed me staring, he glanced down at his shirt.
"Don't worry, it wasn't that serious." He tried to reassure me.
I crossed my arms and pressed my back against the cell.
"The blood tells me otherwise."
Only now did I notice that there was a scar on the side of his neck. It wasn't new, it looked mostly healed but the outline was still there and probably will be.
"It's my brother's so it's all cool." He moved his hand around. "Don't worry, he deserved it."
Oh, who didn't love a good relationship forming between two brothers? His casualty in the situation was a big surprise to me.
But again, I didn't know him and his life, so it might be a common thing for him to get arrested.
"And that's why he called the cops on you?" I asked pointedly.
He glanced down at his bloody knuckles and shrugged.
"He might be older than me but he is still just a sad little boy on the inside."
I knew I shouldn't have smiled but I did anyway. There was something sarcastic about the way he was also talking to me.
"Now it's your turn." He crossed his legs and rested his hand on his knee. "How did you end up here?"
I let out a deep sigh and glanced down at my dress. I knew he could tell that I wasn't dressed like that for the sake of doing the dishes and watching a movie at home.
"I hit a man with a glass." I admitted shamefully and his eyes widened.
"Damn, okay, Flame," He said with an impressed grin. "I didn't know you were this violent. Your appearance told me otherwise."
I shrugged and walked over to him, taking a seat next to him. Even while sitting, I had to look up at him, he was that tall.
"It's not common with me, I swear." I tried to save myself from getting judged for being a crazy woman who liked to beat up people.
"So, this was just a special evening?"
I nodded and let out a tired smile.
"And tomorrow I've got to go to work," I said realizing that my job might be at risk if someone didn't come for me. "Jesus... I'm so fired already."
He laughed at my horrified expression and nudged me with his shoulder.
"It's not that bad." He gave me a half smile. "You can always be a recycler or a plumber. I've heard those were famous jobs for newly released prisoners."
I frowned as I imagined myself having to start again my life.
That couldn't happen, I was just overreacting. I was getting ahead of myself.
"What's your name, Flame?" He asked.
My eyes fiercely met his.
"Not Flame, I tell you that."
He scoffed and leaned his head against the cold wall behind him.
"I would have never thought, seriously."
"You know how strange people can be." I joked and adjusted the bottom of my dress.
When he didn't say anything else, I started to feel bad for not answering his honest question. Because he didn't seem like a bad guy at all. Just someone who made a mistake.
"It's Heddy," I said breaking the silence and also trying not to wake the woman up at the other side of our cell. "My name is Heddy."
He looked at me and gave me a thankful smile that I trusted him with my name.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Heddy. My name is Braith." He said. "I wish we could have met under different circumstances but I'll take what I can get."
I chuckled and dropped my hands to my lap.
"It is what it is, I guess."
Braith cleared his throat when we heard an officer walking past us in the hallway, casually talking into her radio.
"So, is your boyfriend coming to get you out?"
I shook my head.
"No boyfriend is coming to save me."
Braith looked at me from the corner of his eyes.
"Then... your girlfriend is coming to get you?"
I laughed at his curiosity.
"No, no girlfriend either."
"Then a trans partner maybe?"
"I'm single." I finished his thoughts and he weirdly looked at me.
"No way." He said.
"It is true." I shrugged.
"You're fucking with me." He said while trying to hide his smile.
"I wouldn't." I tried to keep my name clean.
"No way a beautiful woman like you, who is also fierce as hell, is single." He shook his head. "You're literally a man's dream come true."
I let out an embarrassed laugh and shook my head vigorously.
"You don't even know me, Braith."
Braith hissed and fidgeted with his fingers.
"You're right." He said staring at his hands. "You might be a crazy witch who sucks the life out of people."
I laughed then pressed my hands over my mouth when I saw the older woman shifting in her sleep. The last thing I needed is to irritate another person, especially right inside a cell.
"I might be. You can never be careful enough with women."
"You're goddamn right about that."
I tilted my head to the side, my hair falling over my naked shoulder.
"Bad experiences?"
He nodded while staring outside.
"I guess you could say that." He answered quietly. "It's specifically bad when after nine years she just ditches on you without telling me the reason and taking the money and also the apartment with her."
My mouth fell open by the sudden turn in his story.
"Seriously?"
"Yes." He said and sighed. "And the best thing is I still don't know what I did wrong, you know. Or that if I did something wrong or she just got bored all of a sudden."
I pitied him because, by the way, he was speaking of his ex-girlfriend, it seemed like he cared for her because shadows of his pain could still be seen on his face.
That or he was a very good actor who just acted like he was the one who got his heart broken.
"I'm sorry about that," I said softly. "Some of us can be cruel at times."
When his eyes met mine, he gave me a sad smile that perfectly mirrored his inner pains.
"No need to apologize for someone else." He reassured me. "It's enough if you don't act like her."
"I don't plan to," I said honestly.
The more I started to count in my head the more confused I became. Because he looked like a teenager or someone who was around twenty. But the math didn't work in that sentence.
I furrowed my eyebrows and turned to him.
"Wait..." My voice trailed off and he turned to me.
"Hm?"
"How old are you?"
Braith let out a silent laugh at my confusion.
"Guess."
I started to play with my dress while examining his young features. I still tried to ignore the blood on him because it just scared the hell out of me and made me uncomfortable in an unexplainable way.
"I wanted to say nineteen..." I said and he grinned amusingly.
"That's a really good compliment, I'll take it."
I smiled and gave him a pleading look.
"Will you tell me?"
"In only one condition."
I started to have a bad feeling about this but still decided to play along.
It wasn't like I could go anywhere else. We were stuck here, so it was best to kill the time somehow. And talking to a stranger who was arrested for assault just like I was then I had to take it.
Being in silence and just staring at each other while trying to figure out what the other has done and how much of a threat they were if we started to race for the use of the toilet would have been unbearable for me.
"Promise me you won't call me old."
"I can't promise something like that." I disagreed. "Especially if you happen to be at least ten years older than me..."
Braith sighed and arched an eyebrow at my answer.
Then he said it.
"I'm twenty-nine."
My eyes widened at not only how young he looked but also at how I accidentally guessed his age. Maybe I should be physic in the future.
"Damn... You're old." I laughed and he glared at me.
"I told you..." He warned me but a smile was hiding in the corner of his thin lips.
"Well, for starters I didn't promise anything." I clarified. "So, you can't hold that against me."
"It's always a pleasure to be called old." He shrugged. "Sometimes they still ask for my ID when I buy a beer or cigarettes."
"Maybe when you'll be around forty, they will stop asking."
"That's concerning a little."
For the next hour, we kept talking about our lives or just casual things. As if we weren't in jail for the night. I almost believed that this was just a usual morning breakfast chat with a friend.
When the officer who questioned me after arresting me, came back and grabbed his keychain from his pants, we stopped discussing things.
"Heddy Lopez." He said in a bored tone.
My face lit up and I stood up without hesitation. I just hoped that I was finally getting out and not only would be dragged back into the investigation room.
I've had enough of that mirror for life.
I could only hope that things were all right now.
"Good luck in your life, Heddy." Braith gave me a small smile.
I was kind of sad that I probably won't see him ever again because I've had a fun time with him. But I also had to get used to this feeling now that we were getting closer and closer to the end of the summer.
People walked in and out of my life and there was nothing I could do about that. All I could do was enjoy my time with them until our time was up.
"You too, Braith," I said. "Thank you for making my time better."
He grinned at me as I followed the officer out of the cell.
"And I better never see you in this station again." He pointed his finger at me.
"I can't make that promise."
The smile was still on my face when we walked to the office side of the station. I wanted to ask the bored and rude officer why did he bring me out but my answer was already standing in front of me with a scoff on his face, his hands sunk in his pockets.
Instead of feeling relieved that Seeley was here. I was infuriated that after our argument he had the nerve to be the person to pay for my charge. I still wasn't ready to face him.