Vanessa Morgan as Molly "Moxie" Roxanne Dwyer
The badass punk
"Your not my mother Renee, so stop the happy family act because you tore my family apart."
Lesley-Ann Brandt as Tatiana Dwyer
The spy mom
"I'm always a phone call away, sweetheart, remember that."
Matt Bushell as Phil Dwyer
The cheater father
"I am your father young lady and you will respect Renee as your new mom!"
Sarah Clarke as Renee Dwyer
The home wrecker
"Isn't obvious Molly? Your mother abandoned you. Your my daughter now so just accept it."
Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan
The bitchy stepsister
"God! Your so fat! Go on a diet! And stop the fake tanning! It's so obvious that's not your natural skin tone, if you go any darker people will think you're black!"
Billy Burke as Charlie Swan
The decent guy
"I know it's not much, but I figured you'd like your own room since you and Bella don't get along."
Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury
The boss
"Why is it that every time I send you on a mission somebody has to get stabbed, Dwyer?!"
Clark Gregg as Phil Coulson
The dorky coworker
"Guess who's meeting Captain America? This guy!"
Cobie Smulders as Maria Hill
The new girlfriend
"Divorce...yikes! So now that you're single..."
The avengers as themselves
The twilight cast as themselves