The next morning, we walked to the Milburns' house. Halia stayed behind to make sure Victoria didn't escape – but I doubted leaving her there alone, so I suggested that Ryder run back and keep on an eye on things. So he did.
No one even batted an eye at how my suggestions were instantly approved of and followed without hesitation. It felt... natural, in a way.
Last night, in order to avoid me 'whipping my claws out', as Ryder suggested, we agreed that we needed to visit Esther Milburn at first light. Yet exhaustion coursed through my veins and made my brain slow.
Overnight, I'd driven myself into a lucid state of induced insomnia. I couldn't stop thinking about Ember; about how incapable and useless I was when she needed me most – when Killian killed her.
Even as I tried to focus on Edgar Allan Poe's short stories (which there were a lot of in Wednesday's house), the scene replayed on a loop. Flickering through the words on the page in front of me, pulsating behind my eyes incessantly.
As Thea, Wednesday, Al and I neared Ember's house, my dulled senses seemed to reawaken. Beside me, a bush rustled and I snapped my head to it rapidly as I stopped in my tracks – instantaneously shifting to my wolf's eyes.
"It's just a bird," Al dismissed without a second thought.
Sure enough, a small garden bird hopped into view, tilted its head at me in momentary wonder, then carried on about its business. I let my eyes return to normal – at least I still have control. I let loose the breath I didn't realise I was holding.
For as long as I can remember, I've been used to nature – finding more comfort in the wild than amongst hordes of other people... But why had that bird made me so uneasy?
Because Killian's presence corrupts everything, the dark part of my mind contributed.
"You alright?" Thea stopped walking as Wednesday and Al went on.
"Just..." I looked away from the bushes and forced myself to look at her. "Didn't really get much sleep last night."
"It's okay, Theo." Her concern remained, though reassurance now tinged it. "We're all tense. We need to be at the moment..."
"Thea..." I bit my lip as I raised my gaze to meet hers. "When Killian... When she died, there was nothing I could do to help her."
I probably looked like the picture of desolation; I stood with my arms hanging limply at my sides, my face ashen thanks to lack of true rest.
"I won't tell you what Ember would or wouldn't want you to feel if she was here, 'cos she's not. But you can't beat yourself up over it." Drawing a little closer to me, Thea's hazel eyes softened with sisterly attention as she looked me over. "She'll come back to us tonight, and we'll figure this Killian chaos out together and we'll help Kaden."
With a small smile making its way onto my face, I admitted, "You remind me of Mom so much."
"That's 'cos families support one another." Thea smiled back, opening her arms to me.
Finding comfort in her embrace, I told her <Thank you> silently, without even realising I was transmitting it telepathically.
"You two coming or what?" Al yelled back to us impatiently. Even from a slight distance, I could see her dark brows arched downwards.
Thea and I rolled our eyes in sync, and I felt a strong surge of gratitude well up within me.
Gratitude to my twin sister for being with me; gratitude to my dad for reuniting us; gratitude to my mom – my entire family, really. With my mom's Phoenix having passed to Thea after the house fire, it felt like Mom's spirit lived on in Thea.
In spite of the supernatural world tearing my family apart, it somehow reunited us too. In body, like with Dad and Thea; in spirit with Mom.
Speaking of moms, it wasn't long until we got to Esther Milburn's. Anticipation surfaced within me again, as if induced by the uniform red bricks on the house.
What if Esther didn't know anything about Alistair? What do we do then?
<Then we figure it out by ourselves. We're actually pretty good at that.> Thea prompted, having picked up on my unspoken dreads. <We kinda took down a whole army of hunters back in Montana, remember?>
<But there were more of us.> I looked over at her as Wednesday knocked on Esther's burgundy red front door. <And things were simpler then.>
<You're right.> She admitted with a slight sigh.
When Esther Milburn eventually opened the door, her face was drawn in and grey with worry. She scanned all of our faces in nervous apprehension, her eyes landing on an empty space next to me.
Ember.
"She comes back tonight," I reminded her, ensuring my voice was steady and didn't crack with all the emotions running through me.
"You better come in." Smoothing her somewhat frizzy blonde hair away from her face (just like Ember does when she's stressed), she let us in.
I wanted Wednesday and Al to do all the talking. After all, it was Wednesday's dad who we came here to ask about. But mostly I couldn't shake the guilt-ridden feeling that Esther blamed me for Ember's death.
Yet, at the same time, she could've just been naturally grieving her daughter. Ember, who was supernatural and who'd died from supernatural causes and who was going to be supernaturally reborn... Then I remembered that Esther might not have known that Ember had died once before; though would that provide her with comfort or further dread?
Fuck. I wish Ember was here.
While clutching the mug of coffee Esther had forced into her hands, Wednesday asked with her eyes wide, "Do you know where my dad is?"
"I'm guessing you found the little monster he locked in his attic?" Esther checked, arching an eyebrow – to which we all nodded slowly. "You've not let her out, have you?"
"Oh my God, no – no way." All of us seemed to say at once, in some way or another.
"Did you know that Alistair cut her tongue out?" Thea rushed out, her anticipation appearing to propel her forwards before she shut her mouth. In the millisecond prior to Esther's reaction, Thea glanced across at me – eyes anxious.
I nodded slightly at her; she asked the question we would've otherwise spent ages tiptoeing around.
"He... he what?" Shrinking into herself, with her face paling even further from her natural tanned olive skin, Esther half-collapsed into a kitchen island bar-type stool behind her. Her hand clutched the cold marble.
"Alistair mutilated Victoria," I rephrased, even though some part of me insisted that Esther had heard Thea, but couldn't believe it or process it mentally.
"I didn't think he'd actually... Oh my God."
"Look, Esther..." Wednesday appeared to be forcing the words out, as she picked absentmindedly at the already-peeling silvery nail polish. "We just need to know– I need to know where my dad is. And then we'll leave."
Esther uttered, "I tried to talk him out of it... But it was like the desolation he felt over losing your mum, Wednesday – like it was overpowered by some dark and vicious anger."
"That might've been influenced by Killian's presence," I interjected, having felt the need to attempt to explain the inexplicable. "I think... I think he has some sort of ability to poison people's emotions and warp them into violence."
"Right... Well, now he's set on finding the rest of Victoria's family and putting an end to the bloodline," Esther explained.
"I thought all of Victoria's family were already dead? Something about a fire?" Al frowned, voicing what the rest of us were most likely already thinking.
"Alistair believes that Victoria has family abroad. In America," Esther replied, and suddenly everyone's attention was on me and Thea.
I turned my head rapidly to Thea and we shared a knowing glance. There was at least one American we both knew that could've been related to Victoria.
Jade.
"Has Dad left the country yet?" Wednesday asked frantically, possibly having used one of her many abilities to decipher mine and Thea's shared concern.
"Not yet, no." Shaking her head, Esther's better judgement betrayed her as she revealed Alistair's whereabouts. "He's in Bridstain, gathering supplies. He should be coming back to Lake Oldoy before he leaves..."
"Why?" I interrogated, "Why would he come back? No offence, Wednesday, of course – he probably thinks that you're still in Hopecliffe."
Waving a dismissive hand, Wednesday shrugged. "You're right. Besides, if he was thinking like a hunter, why would he come back to somewhere that his vendetta mission could be compromised?"
Esther Milburn cleared her throat as her cheeks pinkened almost imperceptibly. "Because of me."
~
It wasn't a huge surprise to any of us that Esther and Alistair might've had a thing for one another. After all, seeking companionship once a partner has deceased is a natural response – perhaps even a primal instinct maintained over millennia of development.
Yet having gotten the answers we'd gone looking for, we didn't hang around at Esther's for long before returning to Wednesday's.
Though I couldn't stop thinking about Esther and Alistair becoming an item since their significant others had died.
I could never do that to Ember.
Even though I knew that her Phoenix struggled with staying loyal to one lover, I knew that I would always be loyal to her. I felt so strongly that I would always be in love with her, no matter what she did or who she loved other than me.
Maybe she's my mate, the thought danced into my mind and twirled around – yet I didn't know how I could be certain.
All I knew was that I felt I was destined to spend the rest of my life with her. Even if that includes waiting for her to be reborn – though I seriously hoped she wasn't going to make a habit of getting killed on a regular basis.
The others left it up to me to decide when and where we'd pour Ember's ashes. Midnight in Lake Oldoy seemed like a pretty safe bet, so everyone followed suit without a single argument. I didn't admit it to anyone but myself, but as well as Ember dying in Lake Oldoy feeling like fate, there was an inescapable cyclical notion that she must be reborn there too.
What goes around comes around.
<Do you think we should invite Esther to Ember's rebirth?> Thea voiced in my mind on the walk back to Wednesday's.
<I'm not sure that would be the best idea...> I admitted slowly, attempting to think as Ember would. <When she was reborn in Montana, she was so disorientated and confused – I don't want to invite her mom as her presence might upset Ember.>
<So you think she'll just come running straight back into your arms?> Thea looked at me, quirking an eyebrow up in questioning.
"All that matters is that Ember comes back to us," I unintentionally voiced aloud – though it wasn't like I was interrupting any other conversation.
Forcing my mind away from Ember, I thought of my old pack. I'd be lying if I said that Wednesday and Al's reuniting with Esther didn't force me to think of my old pack. For a chilling moment, when Wednesday screamed at the sight of Victoria in her attic, I'd thought of Abi keening.
I hadn't had any communication from any of them; I could only assume that they were just getting on with life and trying to survive, like the rest of us. Before Abi and Zack left the ranch, they mentioned something about coming to join me in the UK. Part of me desperately insisted that we needed their help – especially Abi's ability to predict death – yet I also knew I wouldn't risk putting them in danger.
Oh God, I realised; I'm thinking like an Alpha.
<It's about damn time.>
<I told you I can't do this without Ember.>
<You won't be able to use that excuse for much longer.>
~
For the rest of the day and into the night, I alternated between keeping an eye on Victoria and ploughing through Poe's gothic short stories. I avoided any unnecessary conversation, and I kept Ember's iron urn necklace grasped in the palm of my hand.
Thea forced me to eat and drink, insisting that I'd need my strength for when Ember returned. It wasn't difficult to figure out what she was implying – though after my night terror with Ember-not-Ember seducing me and burning me, I was hardly in the mood for inconsequential intimacy.
When we finally left the Mortelles' house to go down to the lake, Halia insisted she wanted to stay home and monitor Victoria. Again, I didn't trust that Halia wouldn't be overpowered by Victoria, should the ex-Alpha suddenly regain her strength, despite all the wolfsbane we kept flooding her system with.
All of us knew that it was a temporary fix, but it wolfsbane was the best way we had of controlling her. Besides, it didn't really feel like any of us could act without Ember around.
"Someone else needs to stay here with Halia," I told the others, then had to defend myself to Halia; "It's not that I don't trust you Halia – it's that we all experienced how powerful Victoria was last year, and we don't need a repeat of her murdering people and turning more teenagers into werewolves."
"I get it. Good luck with Ember." Halia merely shrugged a scaly shoulder and sloped off back upstairs.
"I'll stay with her." Ryder put himself forwards. "I'm probably more useful here than at the lake with you guys..."
"Thanks, man." My hand landed on his shoulder and I smiled wanly at him before we turned to leave.
Anticipation fluttered in my heart as Wednesday and Al led the way through the woods. A shudder danced along my spine as I realised that Killian very easily could've been waiting for us in the shadows, ready to stop us from assisting in Ember's rebirth.
I didn't dare to think about what would happen to Ember if we didn't get her ashes into the lake in time.
But the woods seemed to be devoid of human life apart from the four of us.
"Do we have any sort of plan for this?" Al questioned as we stepped onto the pebbly lake shore.
After a glance at me, Thea started explaining, "Before she was reborn in Montana, Theo walked out along a jetty and poured her ashes into the middle of the lake. Then we just waited. Theo swam out to get her once she'd returned to her human form."
"You're telling me she returns as an actual Phoenix?" Al exclaimed shrilly, while Wednesday remained a blank wall of silence – gazing out across the lake and wrapping her grey shawl tighter around herself.
"Yup." I nodded. "Is there any way I can get out into the middle of the lake?"
There wasn't a jetty like there was at the lake in front of the ranch on Bonner Mountain – and some part of me insisted that the rebirth had to take place in the middle of the lake.
"I can create a pathway," Wednesday blurted out suddenly, her hazel eyes focusing on mine. Everything about her seemed to have blurred to a shade of grey in the pale moonlight. "It'll take a lot of effort, but I can do it."
I unscrewed the top of the iron urn to see that Ember's ashes were just starting to glow. The grey morphed into red and the urn seemed to warm in my palm.
"Wednesday, if you can do this, please do it now," I told her, kicking off my shoes just in case this bridge failed and I ended up going for a dip in the lake.
Stretching her hands out towards the water, Wednesday muttered some sort of incantation in Latin. Al quickly picked up on the words and joined in, clasping her hand in Wednesday's. Both of their eyes glazed over and a slow stream of blood began trickling from Al's nose.
In front of my eyes, a shimmery translucent path began materialising across the lake to its centre. It didn't look particularly solid, but I knew I didn't have any choice but to trust the witchcraft.
"Now, Theo," Al insisted quickly and I clenched Ember's urn even tighter in my hand.
It's now or never, Em.
"Go get her back." Thea nodded beside me, squeezing my shoulder before I broke into a run across the shore.
I kept my eyes wide open, even as my feet landed on the voodoo-constructed bridge. It felt spongy beneath me, but I didn't stop to question what it was made up of. I didn't cease running until the end of the pathway rose up like a wall in front of me.
Ember's ashes were now burning a bright golden colour – just as they had done back in Montana. I pressed my lips against the cold metal and poured the golden ashes into the centre of the lake.
I sprinted back while the pathway held strongly. As soon as I reached the shoreline, Wednesday and Al simultaneously stopped chanting and collapsed from fatigue.
Stilling my racing mind, I waited and held onto my hope that she would return.
I love you, Ember Hestia Milburn. I'll love you forever. Now please return to me.
As with what happened in Montana, the entire lake began to glow golden. Wednesday and Al sucked in a breath as the edges of the water began bubbling with heat. I raised my hand to shield my eyes; the lake was now so bright it burned through the darkness and made the night seem like day.
This is different from last time.
Ember's body then shot out of the water, raising about ten feet above the surface of the lake. Her body then burned so brightly I had to look away for a moment – when I focused on her again, she was now in the full form of the Phoenix.
"Wow," Al uttered.
The Phoenix's golden and red wings spread wide and raised its beak to the sky. Dark shades of royal purple now tipped its wings and tail, as opposed to the greens and blues I'd seen in Montana. Part of me wondered whether it was a sign that Ember had developed so much since then, and that her Phoenix was somehow more powerful.
All breath escaped my body as I stared, awestruck, at how beautiful Ember's Phoenix truly was. Dangerous, but so beautiful.
It won't be long now until Ember actually returns.
I prepared myself to swim out into the middle of the lake to grab her – but the Phoenix wasn't sinking down or shifting back to Ember's human form. Instead, it seemed to raise itself higher in the sky and burn brighter.
"What's it doing?" Thea questioned incredulously, as she'd seen Ember's rebirth last time – she too knew something was off.
"I have no clue..." My eyebrows knitted themselves together, and I shot at Wednesday and Al without even looking at either of them; the Phoenix was simply too transfixing. "Any idea, Wednesday? Al?"
"Symbolically," Wednesday began explaining, her voice dropping to a hushed whisper, "the Phoenix represents balance and peace. Perhaps the Phoenix needs to exact revenge on Killian to ensure that a balance is maintained..."
My mind blurred as I remembered how the Phoenix had already exacted revenge upon the hunters before Evan killed Ember – she'd put an end to the lives of 12 hunters in order to escape them the first time they'd captured her. If Wednesday was right, then the Phoenix would go after Killian, though I still had no clue what was happening, and why Ember wasn't returning to us.
And the Phoenix began to sing.
It was the single most beautiful and haunting melody I'd ever heard as if I was hearing the songs of angels and the cries of devils at the same time. My jaw dropped open and I could do nothing else but listen in awe.
The entirety of nature seemed to respond to the song – the lake shone a rich amber colour and the trees around us swayed violently, their creaking boughs responding to the Phoenix, in some way or another. A yellowy light was suddenly being cast down on us too – and I looked up to see the moon was no longer a pale white; it was mirroring the Phoenix's shades.
The song quietened a little as the Phoenix began beating its wings together – sending gale-force winds howling towards us. Trees thrashed around violently and the wind seemed to scream down my ears.
"Theo! What do we do?" Thea called to me, reaching out and clutching onto my hand in fear.
"I don't think there's anything we can do!" I admitted the truth.
"We can't stop the Phoenix now!" Wednesday cried out, "We can't control her!"
"Look!" Al yelled. In attempting to communicate with one another, we'd turned away from the lake and the Phoenix – but the pixie called our attention back to the mythical bird towering higher and higher into the sky.
The Phoenix let out one last melodic and yet harrowing cry, and then flew off into the night.
Ah, shit.