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"I promise- I promise I won't say anything. Please. Please, just spare me."
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That night, Avery found me in the academy's library.
I was sitting on the ledge of the highest window, head pressed against the glass as I looked out to the night sky. Avery smiled a little when I didn't react to his presence, taking a seat next to me after draping a blanket over my shoulders.
"How did you find me?" I finally spoke, not wanting to face him for some reason.
"I think by now everyone knows you're here," Avery shrugged. "Privacy is hard to ask for around here."
"I was about to come back."
"It's almost midnight, Vesper," Avery responded, dryly. "You would have stayed here overnight if you could."
"I wanted to be alone." I lifted my gaze higher to the stars and then closed my eyes, trying to not feel the pain.
Avery stayed silent for a long moment. "Erik told me what day it was today."
"What?" I flinched in surprise.
"He said you tended to be reckless on days like this," Avery said, softly. "Your mother and older brother died today."
"He's afraid I'll do something stupid," I scoffed. "Like that one time I jumped off a cliff myself to experience it."
Avery almost looked concerned. "He did not tell me that."
I wrenched my gaze away from the stars to stare at Avery. "Then what else did he tell you?"
"That's it."
I heard the unspoken questions Avery didn't ask. He wanted to know who Erik was to me now. He wanted to know if I was in love with him the way he was in love with me because even a blind man could see Erik still wanted me.
I couldn't answer those questions for him.
"Are you okay?" Avery asked, quietly.
I could feel my own pain emerge. If anyone were to label this ache, it would be called grief. But I hated that word. It felt too simple for all the emotions and hollowness inside of me.
"I lost two people that night." I stared at my hands, at the only ring I wear. "My mother jumped into the ocean. My brother followed."
Avery listened intently, allowing me to continue.
"My father had only ever loved my mother but he had an affair. It was a two time thing but both times, a child was the result," I whispered, tears spilling. "At that time, my mother was already cracking. She knew how cruel my father could be... and she was too kind to be a Du Sang. When she found out... we were on the island. My mother tucked me into bed and the next day, she was gone. My brother..."
"Your brother followed her," Avery guessed.
I nodded slowly. "He was three years older than me and an unusually intelligent person. He must have followed her to the cliffs. I don't know exactly but my guess is that after my mother jumped, he did too to save her."
Avery's silver eyes were filled with understanding. "But no one survives those cliffs."
"The waves were already so violent." I stared out, feeling the tears running. "But my brother was kind. Genuine. Alexander Du Sang was my father's pride and joy for a reason. He had a great mind but a greater soul."
"He died." Avery's words were so soft but rang so loud.
"And I gained a stepmother, stepsister, and stepbrother," I smiled wryly. "My father changed completely. He married my stepmother Amber Jontas to shut her up for a lifetime. Gabriella and Silas, however, never got the Du Sang name. They won't earn a cent of the fortune."
Avery wrapped the blanket tighter around me. "Where is Silas now?"
"He's older than Alexander actually. Across the country, researching for his doctorate degree." My tone turned frosty. "I hate him."
"But you loved Ella."
I turned to face him. Tentatively, Avery reached over to wipe the remaining tears with his thumb. I felt the my stomach lurch as he offered me that reassuring, half-grin.
I leaned into him, my head resting on his shoulder. He stiffened for a moment before relaxing, stroking my hair. It felt strangely intimate, more intimate than sleeping on the same bed with him even if we never spoke or touched each other. Now, I couldn't help but remember that kiss between us.
Did it mean anything to him? Or was I just another girl he kissed to forget that girl he loved?
Did that kiss mean anything to me?
Instead of saying all the things unsaid between us, I closed my eyes and let myself drift to sleep in his warmth.
As the week went by, the distance between Avery and I widened. Despite Blake causing a huge commotion by showering Helen with gifts and enough flowers to be called harmful, people noticed the coldness between us.
I couldn't even look at Avery in the eye.
Maybe it was because of the kiss or maybe it was because of Helen's words or maybe it was Erik's looming but quiet presence, but either way, I did not share his bed for the next two days. Nor did I sleep well. I don't remember the last time we had a real conversation, unless it was an act to keep up during meals.
I knew Avery noticed the chilliness but like me, he kept quiet. He needed the distance as well. Already, there were too many complications between us. If any feelings were involved...
I would never let that happen.
I couldn't.
When the news of me becoming an official blue blood spread, the attention on me doubled overnight. My phone blew up. Girls of all cadres came up to me, complimenting or sneering at me. Guys didn't openly stare at me, in fear of Avery, but I could hear them talking about me in violating ways.
Every single action I did was noticed. This was the price of being a blue blood. It didn't just come with jealousy, admiration, and gossip.
It also came with fear.
Friday morning, someone knocked. My dorm room had been customized days ago, where Pierre brought people in to furnish and move things in. Unlike Avery's silver and royal blue theme, I had shades of dark gray.
"Come in," I sighed, knowing I couldn't avoid him forever.
Avery strode inside, glancing around the room, as I set down the book I was reading.
"You can't hide in here forever," Avery commented, wryly. As expected, he walked towards the corner of the room that I made my library. "Although you do have an impressive book collection."
I joined him, grabbing the several maps that littered the place. "We all collect something. I collect stories. You, on the other hand..."
He lifted an eyebrow, placing a first edition Sherlock Holmes on the shelf. "What do I collect?"
I smiled. "Riddles."
He gave me that devastating smile. "Exam results are coming out in half an hour. It's tradition for your cadre to go together. Besides, Shannon made breakfast."
I couldn't refuse food. "Fine. Any rumors I should be worried about?"
We walked down the flights of stairs together, careful to keep our voices low. "No. Though some people think we broke up."
"That's pretty important," I chewed my bottom lip. "Why do they think that?"
Avery glanced over. "People saw you crying in the library. They think you were crying because I broke up with you."
I ran a hand down my face in exasperation. Of course they automatically assumed that the guy broke it off with the girl. "Didn't you bridal-style carry me back after I fell asleep in the library?"
"Apparently, it was chivalry on my part since I am a gentleman," Avery shrugged with a slight smirk. "My reputation is so impressive, I'm impressed by it sometimes."
I gave him a dry look. "Has anyone added humility in that reputation of yours?"
"No but I'd like Vesper Du Sang to be a part of it," Avery smiled wryly.
I rolled my eyes but my lips curved upwards. "I'm guessing the rumors are mainly because we haven't displayed much affection lately. We barely even talk to each other."
"That is the main reason," he confirmed as he guided me with a hand on the small on my back. "You also avoid talking to people in general. Now everyone thinks you're in a depressive state because of me." Avery's silver eyes locked to mine meanfully. "Sometimes, I wonder if the rumors have some truth to them."
I pursed my lips as we reached the bottom floor. "We need to fix that. What do they know for sure?"
"They don't know anything for sure, especially on whether we actually broke up," Avery said, knowing I meant the blue bloods. "But there's some doubt."
"I'm guessing Shannon filled you in on all of this?"
"Yeah," Avery grimaced but quickly schooled himself to appear charming as we approached all the blue bloods gathering by the breakfast bar. "Have some toast, love."
I tried to hide my own grimace. "Thanks. My... favorite."
He coughed to stop his laughter, taking a seat next to me. "I'll get you black coffee."
"You better," I gritted through my teeth. "You know I hate toast."
Avery gave me a lopsided grin. "Why do you think I offered it?"
"So, Vesper," Satin said, eying Avery's retreating figure like prey. "You must be excited for the exam rankings."
I answered only after gratefully accepting the cup of coffee from Avery. He took a seat next to me, drinking his own, while resting his other arm around my chair. His thumb drew reassuring circles on my shoulder. "Sure. I heard it's a big deal here."
"It is," Helen interrupted before Satin could start insulting me. "I'm sure you'll be fine, Vesper."
She has been strangely cordial with me. I gave her a tight smile in a response.
Kalina leaned back in her chair, running a hand through Mason's hair. They were always on and off. It changed so quuckly even I couldn't keep up. "You know, Vesper, there's a party tonight."
"For rankings?" I asked, trying to sound interested.
"For you, princess," Mason grinned at me, earning a scowl from Kalina.
"For your inaugaration," Erik added, cutting into his eggs. He was as proper as always. "It's tradition to welcome a new blue blood with drunken people, apparently."
I could feel Cole's gaze on me. He hasn't spoken to me since I met up with Clara. "Almost every person in the higher grades, even the unworthy, has been invited. Since we can't invite other schools, of course."
Avery gripped my thigh to shut me up. He knew I was going to snap back at Cole.
I almost gasped as his hand rested by my skirt. I shot Avery a look, but he was lazily srinking his coffee. I forced myself to not react as his fingers brushed dangerously higher.
"Avery," I said, under my breath. "What are you doing?"
He leaned in and I made sure to keep my expression blank as every person glanced our way with raised eyebrows. Avery spoke in a voice too low for anyone else but me to hear, "Dispelling the rumors you started, Vesper."
"Stop smirking," I said through a strained smile. "You're enjoying this."
"Why wouldn't I enjoy it?" Avery murmured. "I'd be a fool to not enjoy the prettiest girl of the academy."
This time, I did faintly blush and he let out a low chuckle that made my stomach flutter. Then, Avery retracted his hand and I realized, as his warm touch left me, that everything he just did and said was for show.
I looked away, swallowing, feeling confused at the strange emotion that overcame me. Was I... disappointed?
Shannon entered the room with Blake and Gloria behind her, an annoyed expression on her face. "Let's go see our rankings. I really don't want to be here."
Gloria offered me a sneer while Blake only nodded politely before going over to drape an arm around Helen's waist. I saw a flash of anger on the beautiful girl's face but it vanished as quick as it came.
Apparently, there was a whole room dedicated to rankings and it had a huge screen on one wall. The blue bloods effortlessly walked into the place like they owned it, which I suppose they did in certain ways.
The best spots had already been taken but once they entered, everyone seemed to make way. I looked around uncomfortably to see the varying expressions. Some were jealous. Others angry. Most just looked resigned, as if this was to be expected.
The bell rung.
The rankings were released, yet there wasn't a single sound in a room of hundreds.
"Congratulations," Avery murmured.
There was something in his eyes that I didn't think I would see.
Pride.
No anger, no bitterness, just plain amused pride.
I lifted my chin to see my name first on the rankings.
I placed first.
"What the fuck?" Cole broke the silence, surging towards me. "What the fuck did you do?"
Avery moved to protect me but I gripped his arm. Realization entered his eyes and he backed off, knowing that this was all part of my plan.
"I don't know what you mean," I responded, neutrally.
Cole pushed forward, burning anger in his eyes. It was the most emotion I've seen from someone so cold and calculative. "People might worship the ground you walk on because you're a Du Sang but that doesn't mean anything to me."
"What did I do wrong?" I tilted my head, taking a step closer to him. Lose your temper. I want you to lose your temper so you'll confess. "The exams are incorruptible... aren't they? They're purely based on merit and I scored the highest. You don't see Avery whining."
Cole shoved me hard with two hands, making me stumble backward. He reared his hand back to slap me. "He's your boyfriend, you cheating, fucking-"
Avery tackled him to the floor, slamming his knuckles into Cole's nose. Blood burst from his nostrils but Cole fought back. I watched Avery clench his jaw, fury blazing in his eyes, before knocking Cole out cold in a single punch.
Inwardly, I sighed in exasperation. Avery just ruined my plans. Sometimes, no matter how rational a guy was, testosterone got in the way.
Still, as my gaze drifted towards Avery's enraged state, I couldn't bring myself to feel angry. His protectiveness was even a little sweet.
"Intervene," Kalina coughed under her breath after she seemed satisfied with Cole's injured state.
After analyzing Kalina for a while, I realized that she loathed Queens Academy. It was almost as if Kalina were forced to be here and so she did everything she could to vent out her anger on those she hated, like Cole, or else find amusement for herself. She was just here for the dramatics and nothing else.
Intervene? I thought. Was she crazy?
I glanced at the commotion and stepped back. I didn't want to get involved between Cole and Avery, the two most calculative people of the academy.
None of them would back down, not with the simmering academic rivalry between them. Now, it had become physical.
Cole was too infuriated by the exam scores and Avery, well, he was too noble to let Cole get away with physically hurting me.
"Intervene before another girl does and the rumors intensify," Kalina tried to persuade me again. This time, she did convince me.
Grimacing, I stepped forward and pulled Avery back. Surprisingly, he faltered and stared at the hand I placed on his bicep. I quickly removed my hand.
"Avery, let's go. I..." I glanced around, trying to make up an excuse. "I don't want to be late for class." I cleared my throat. "Yes, that's exactly why we should leave. Professor Moore will yell at us again."
With the back of his hand, he wiped the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. "He touched you."
"It was just a push," I said, sounding uncertain because no one has ever stood up for me like this. Then, I added, more softly, "Thank you."
I tugged him away again, knowing the situation would escalate if I didn't. Avery tightened his jaw but he calmed down when I slipped my hand into his, not knowing how else to comfort him. Avery quietly studied our intertwined hands.
Gloria's expression was horrified as she hissed quietly, "How could you punch Cole for her?"
"Go," Shannon nodded, crouching to inspect Cole. "I got it handled. No one here will say a word."
Mason, Kalina, and Erik looked rather pleased at the sight but Blake and Satin were less than happy. The rest of the onlookers had either screamed, recorded, or watched silently as the whole fight had unfolded.
Reluctantly, Avery let me pull him away until we were in his dorm room. I grabbed the first-aid kit on the way in.
I whirled to him. "Are you serious?"
Avery's eyes were cold. "That was overdue."
"You ruined my plan," I sighed, exasperated. "But you knew that."
"He wouldn't have admitted that he cheats on the exams," Avery countered, letting me take his hand to fix it up.
Cole was hard to figure out, but after doing some digging, I found out his secret.
Every year, exactly a day before the exams are administered, Cole spends hours in hacking the highly guarded system of the Board that contained all the test questions of the exam. Some time, a few years ago, he managed to find the smallest loophole in one of the world's most highly secured databases.
That was why Cole could beat Avery some years.
He cheated.
The key flaw in Cole's cheating was that he didn't have enough time to access all the test questions in time. The system was set up so that you needed to decrypt the exam section by section. There were seven sections of the test.
Which means that by the time Cole's able to access the exam document, there's always barely any time left.
As far as I've traced his cheating, Cole has only ever managed to look through some of the first section of the exam, which was a seventh of the exam. Not enough to guarantee anything, but enough to give himself a significant advantage over Avery.
That was why I did everything I could to place first.
I gambled and hoped that it would trigger Cole Asto into confessing his cheating.
But the moment Avery defended me, that plan failed.
"At least he claimed you were my boyfriend," I grumbled as I poured out some rubbing alcohol on a cotton pad. "We don't have to deal with that for the time being."
Avery wasn't listening. "Cole isn't stupid enough to be goaded into confessing his secrets. He's too rational and- fuck."
The alcohol stung his knuckles. Gently, I wiped the remaining blood away and started wrapping bandages around his fingers. He flexed them, as if he weren't affected by the pain.
"I'm sorry," he finally said, leaning his forehead against mine. He looked so tired. "He might have admitted. You're right."
"You knew he rigs the exams," I said, softly. "Yet you still compete against him fairly."
"I'm not a cheater."
"I know." My fingers reached forward to wipe the blood from his split lip. "Congratulations on second place. You would have been first if you didn't let me win. When did you guess I figured out about his cheating?"
"You spent a day alone," he opened his eyes to search mine. "The day before the exams, I mean. If I could find out Cole's secret, you could too."
"He didn't hide them well," I admitted as I stood to clean everything up.
Avery pulled me back down and sighing, I complied and took a seat next to him again. "That's why I hoped you would place first in the exam. The look on Cole's face was worth millions."
I sighed. "I planned for Cole to angrily and recklessly confess in front of everyone that he cheats on the exam, but then you threw that punch..." I shrugged, realizing that I wasn't angry or even disappointed. "I never even thought to consider you as a factor."
Avery looked at me thoughtfully. "Why?"
I paused. "No one has ever defended me like that."
"So that's why you're always so guarded. You always push me away," he mused. "You're too afraid to depend on someone else."
"If you're let down too many times, you stop expecting anything from anyone or else you'll get hurt," I found myself telling him.
His silver eyes softened and strangely, I didn't pull away from him. Usually, any emotional vulnerability chased me away, but this time, I didn't feel that need. I felt comforted.
I was letting Avery Dragomir care about me.
Avery reached over to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Thank you. For fixing me up."
I laughed a little, taking his knuckles to press a soft kiss to them. "Thank you, for making Cole lose the inability to walk for a week."
"I could arrange for it to happen to you too, love." Avery's eyes twinkled with mischief, his half-grin crooked. "In a different manner, of course."
I jerked back a little, feeling heat rise on my cheeks. "You should rest before the party."
I stood to leave but Avery's hand brushed my waist. He hesitated and then let his hand fall. Avery gazed up at me in a way I've never noticed before, in a way that made me feel nervous and shy.
"Stay."
I stilled at his request, but something in me wanted to ease his pain. "Okay."
So I stayed with him, listening to his heartbeat as he drifted to sleep for the first time since I shared his bed.
Some time later, I woke up to his arm draped possessively over my waist and my hand tightly holding his. The familiar sense of fear and dread returned. It weighed on me.
As I untangled myself from him and quickly got out of his bed, I couldn't help but think that Avery Dragomir could break my heart in a way Erik Solar never could.
And he had no idea.
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